I would hate to give away the entire story but there IS some sensitive content… If you're squeamish dont read this please. Xox
There is never a reason to why things happen the way they do. Maybe God is above pressing buttons and watching us prance around like puppets. Maybe there is no God and there's just a 50/50 chance. Maybe a superior entity is something made up to make us feel like we have a reason. The universe is only so big, right?
My mother taught me that only losers take 50/50 chances. My life was all about studying, working and working even harder. Winning is work ethic and winning ment living life to the fullest, or so I thought. There was a difference between having an average salary of 50k per year with a husband and kids and a nice average home, and having anything you want anytime you want and the whole city envying your boyfriend, the Clown Prince of Crime. I would say living life to its fullest is option two.
With the Joker, life had become a more of a 50% chance success rate, but that's what made it all the more fun. Life didn't tell me how to live, living did. My 50/50 was my shitty job at Arkham Asylum over Freedom with the man of my dreams.
The Joker never took no as an answer. He punched, kicked, choked, cut and bruised, but never let me be the victim. He wanted me to be the best I could be, he was proud of me. Joker encouraged me to fight, assertive over submissive. But not when he didn't want me to be.. (;
All my life I had been taught to laugh through the pain, that someone was always on the sidelines watching. When I was hurt I told myself that God was up there laughing and that he wanted to see me cry. When Joker hurt me I did cry, but I wouldn't let him see it. I knew deep in my heart that there was nothing watching me and just to be sure I would turn out the lights and look away. Never let them know just how much it hurt.
Joker saved me from my average life about 6 months ago. Meaning I was fairly new to the fast life. It was dangerous and I knew it.
After a long night fighting unappreciative junkies, the booze started taking its toll. It made us a little dizzy, I knew that once J sat down for a minute to 'watch the show.' I must say, when you start to have double vision you may have gone a little far.
There were men lined up to fight 'The Joker's girl' and it almost seemed as if they were jealous.. The fights were silly, like fighting over candy with a baby? The next man that wanted to fight me was nothing special, but what really caught my eye was a tattoo of a cross on his neck, i scoffed at it.
"Do your worst!" I shouted before a fist collided with my nose. I giggled at the sudden sting of pain and familiar metallic taste in my mouth.
The man didn't hold back, delivering a blow to my lower abdomen, not once, but three times. I felt my stomach churn as blood poured out of me. I looked down at my feet where I'd been almost practically standing in a puddle of blood. stumbling to the floor clutching my stomach, the world faded for a moment.
I watched the man that had recently killed something get shot, and another man that had very recently shot something come to my aid.
Joker gently picked me up off the ground, cradling me in fear as if I would crack like an egg. As I looked up at him, i felt numb, no feeling whatsoever. I knew that he didn't want to see me cry, he didn't want to see me in pain. He also knew that in that moment a part of me died and there was no way that could ever be fixed. He had a pleading look in his eyes. He wouldn't hurt me this time, he wanted me to feel safe. Tears ran down my face as i looked into his eyes and he whispered in my ear, "It's okay, baby. You're okay, baby.."
Maybe life took something away from me that was irreplaceable, but that could never amount to what life has given me.