Kaoru cannot sleep. She should feel relieved, because she is finally home and safe in her own room, in her dojo. She should feel at peace, because that horror story is over, and for now, they can rest.
But instead, she lies beneath her blanket and stares into empty darkness. She can feel her pulse in her interlaced fingers, steady and loud and insistent. Before Enishi's Jinchuu, she liked the silence throughout the house. She thought it was calming. Now, it makes her feel on edge. That night when Enishi and his gang came for Kenshin's blood and smothering hands came for her too. All those nights spent awake on that island, wondering how she could escape and if anyone knew where she was.
This feeling now, it reminds her of the time between her father's death and Kenshin's arrival. It would be eerie and too, too quiet and so lonely that she'd be driven to tears.
I don't like it. Back then, I would just train until I collapsed.
She frowns and puffs her cheeks. She's been suspended from practicing Kamiya Kasshin, at least until her health is back to normal. She is too thin, Megumi had scolded before she left, and she should wait for a couple months to regain her weight.
A low, drawn-out sound, full of fear and distress, makes her sit up. Kenshin!
Kaoru hurries out of her room, into the dark hallway. She hesitates at his door for a second, before throwing the screen open and stumbling to his shadow. He's thrashing out, still asleep and trapped in a nightmare she can't invade.
She shakes him and loudly whispers. "Kenshin. Kenshin, wake up!"
He wakes automatically and in the moonlight, his violet eyes are wild and disoriented. It is as if he is seeing right through her, and her stomach twists.
Gradually, he focuses and exhales a rattling breath. "Sorry, Kaoru-dono. This one was dreaming. Please, go back to sleep and don't worry." The reply is distant and formal, and she shakes him again.
"No, I won't. Not when you look like that. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Please, Kaoru-dono."
"Then, I'll talk instead." She props herself up against the wall, so she isn't touching his futon. "I don't want to go to sleep, I can't. I haven't been home in so long, I've forgotten how."
The silence is still there, so she plunges deeper.
"I'm afraid that something will happen again, if I sleep. I checked all the locks twice before I came to bed. So, see? You're not the only one that's been affected. Don't shut yourself out from me, Kenshin. I can't bear it, if you do."
There's a rustle as he sits up. "This one dreamt that you were taken from him again. That you were dead and this one couldn't save you."
Her throat constricts. "Oh. But, it was a dream. I'm right here, Kenshin, you know that."
"It has been difficult lately, to know what's a dream and what's real."
She dares to move closer, sliding onto his mattress beside him. "Maybe, the problem is that neither of us is able to sleep alone. Let me stay here tonight, just so we can get some sleep."
He turns to her, lips parted and eyes wide and breathtaking as he stammers. "A-are you sure?"
"Mm. I did say that I wanted to be with you forever, didn't I? That includes night too." Maybe it's the darkness that makes her so bold, or the privacy, or the pulse in her fingertips that reminds her that she's alive and she should take every chance she has. "Come here." She holds out her arms and after a moment of tentativeness, he goes.
They only hold each other, knees touching and hands caught in unbound hair.
"This is nice." She remarks and sighs as she clings to him tighter.
"Kaoru-dono." His voice is raw, reverent. "Kaoru." And what she hears is: I'm home.
"Kenshin." She murmurs back. I'm home too. And this is how they fall asleep, with warmth and solace between them.
In the morning, he's still sleeping in her grasp when she yawns and opens her eyes. She smiles.