Saving Grace
Rating: M. It'll become more abvious later.
Summary: One Night. One boy. One more chance to live.

Disclaimer: Don't own. Except on special occasions when Draco and I get together.

I'm a normal seventeen-year-old girl, who's not so normal. I turned seventeen exactly two minutes ago. It doesn't feel like it though. I don't exactly know how to say this but I guess I'm just gonna come out and say it. I was raped a month and a half ago and I'm pregnant. I was always the person who said, "That couldn't happen to me", but I was wrong. It did happen to me. And I don't know who it was. How could this happen to the girl with the best grades in the school, the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and the girl who was so paranoid that she never went anywhere alone? How could this happen to me? If you're reading this then I guess you found me.

To Harry and Ron. I love you guys. More than you'll ever know. You are what got me through these last seven years of my life. Before you guys it was cigarettes, alcohol, and music. I know that I wouldn't have made it this far without you guys. I'll never forget everything we've done together. All the sneaking out and telling teachers off. You guys are the laughter in my life. My everything. I love you both.

To Ginny. My sister from another mister. God knew both he and our moms couldn't handle us as sisters so he made us best friends. I love you baby girl. I'm gonna miss you like crazy. I know you're gonna blame yourself and say you should have gone with me tonight, but you know this is how it's supposed to end. You were my first girlfriend. My first "female experience" as the say. Don't get me wrong I loved every minute of it. I wouldn't have picked anyone but you to share that with. I love you baby girl.

To everyone else. I'll miss you all. Please don't blame yourselves. This was my choice. All mine. Nothing you guys did could have stopped me. It'll be okay after I'm gone. I know it will hurt for a while and you'll say that you should have seen it but you couldn't have. I barely saw it coming. It'll get better. I promise.

To my baby. I'm so sorry I couldn't give you the type of life you deserve. I wanted you to grow up with a mommy and daddy who could get you everything you wanted and had all the time in the world to spend with you. I wanted your life to be perfect. I didn't want you be brought up like I was. I'm sorry. I love you already.

Last but not least, Draco Malfoy. I fucking love you. I always have and I always will. I love your smirk. The way you'd look at me with that little hint of evil in your eye always made my heart flutter a little bit. You thought you were so cool. You knew you were cool. I love the way you held me that night. I felt wanted. As I drifted off to sleep I thought, "This is too good to be true." But it wasn't. You were there when I woke up. Holding me just as tight as you were when we fell asleep. I know that this night didn't mean anything to you, but it meant everything to me. I love you and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world..

I know you all are going to blame yourselves. But don't. It wasn't your fault. I just couldn't stay any longer. I'm sorry.

I love you all.

'Moine.

Hermoine put down the pen, folded the paper and put both on the table. She had tried to talk herself out of this but she couldn't. She couldn't lose the feeling of being dirty. Inside and out. As weird as it was, she felt like that baby inside of her was meant to be there. She didn't hate it like most girls that this happened to did. She could barely see through the tears that were forming in her eyes.

Stop crying you dirty little whore. No one's going to care when you're gone. They'll be happy. No more, Miss, I Make Everyone Around Me Feel As Bad As I Do.

"Stop it! They'll miss me. I know they will. They're my best friends." She sobbed.

You keep telling yourself that they'll miss you and that they love you. And don't tell me to stop. You know what I can't. I'm you. Only you can make it stop. Pick up the gun and end it. You know that's the only way to make me stop. No one's going to miss you. Where have they been all day? Not with you. They don't care. They don't want you around. They hate you.

"Shut up! Fuck! Why do you do this to me? I fucking hate you!" She picked up the gun and put it to her head. "Are you fucking happy now?" She cried.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as she closed her eyes and pressed down on the trigger.

"Hermoine!" Her eyes snapped open and saw the one person that she didn't want to find her. Her fingers went numb and the gun toppled to the floor.

"Ma-" was all she got out before everything went black.

Draco crossed the room for what felt like the millionth time. He'd felt like an ass when he read her note. He didn't mean to act like that night hadn't meant anything to him. Because the truth was, that it had meant everything to him. When he was with her that night, they climaxed together and she had said she loved him. He barely heard it and he wouldn't have if his mouth hadn't been on her neck. It was barely above a whisper but his ear was right next to her mouth and he heard it loud and clear. He felt her body tense up and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. As they both came he heard it. I love you. She had said it with so much passion that he knew that she meant it. He rode his orgasm out and when they were both spent he pulled out and rolled over off of her. She had asked him if she could stay since she didn't want to get caught out of bed that late. Of course he had said yes. He was going to ask her to anyways. That night had meant everything to him. That was the night he went against everything he had ever been taught and he fell in love with her.

"God. What did I do? She's pregnant?" The first thing that Draco thought when he'd read that she was pregnant was what almost every guy thinks. Is it mine? What if it is? He went and sat on the bed and watched her sleep. She's gorgeous. He finally tore his eyes from her to go to sleep. He kissed her forehead and went to lay on the couch by the fireplace. Even though it was his bed that she was in, he figured she'd freak out if she woke up and found him spooning with her in his bed. Draco knew that he spooned and he found it rather funny. So he decided to sleep on the couch and not put her through anything more until she had time to recover.

He looked at the glowing amber lights on the alarm clock. Quarter to two. Tomorrow was Saturday so they could talk all day if she wanted to. He took one last look at her and closed his eyes.

'We'll make it through this.' He thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Her first thought on waking up was just that.

"I woke up."

Her second thought,

"Oh shit."

She looked over to the couch and saw none other than Draco Malfoy. He was on the couch and she was in his bed. Again. She fell back into the pillows, which smelled damn good, and sighed. This was going to be a long day.

She woke up to see Draco sitting on the window seat staring out at the rain. She slowly sat up and tried to keep her mind on getting out.

But he looks so damn fine in just his boxers. Bet he'd look better with them off. God, I have to stop. I need to get out.

"Good morning." She jumped at his voice.

"Damn." She mumbled.

"What?" He got up and walked over. He climbed onto the bed and sat at her feet.

"Uh-nothing." She glared at him.

"Want to talk about it?" He was looking out the window again. His eyes had the slightest red tint to them. Like he had been crying.

"Why? So you can go tell the whole school that the golden boy's best friend, the perfect role model to all the nerds, and the number one student had a breakdown. No. That she was going to kill herself. That she was raped and now she's pregnant? That she chose to put that gun to her head and tried to pull the trigger? That she's always wanted kids and now she's got her fucking wish? No, Malfoy. I don't think. I want to tell. You."

"I won't."

"Excuse me?"

"I won't do that. I wouldn't ever hurt you."

But you have.

"I know that I've hurt you before but I can't do it anymore. I know you probably won't ever trust me, but I promise you I won't tell anyone." He looked straight at her when she said it.

"I'm sorry Malfoy. I don't know. I know it's gonna sound stupid and like I'm a freak, but I have this voice in my head." She looked away from him.

He looked at her again. She really was beautiful. She was in one of Draco's beaters and a pair of his boxers. It was raining when he found her standing on the ledge of the astronomy tower. He brought her back and called a house elf to change her into a beater and pair of his boxers. Her dark brown, now straight, hair was sprawled out on the pillow she was using. She squeezed her eyes shut and a tear rolled out and towards her ear. Draco reached over and wiped it away."It doesn't sound dumb." Hermoine had started to cry even harder. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"You…you're the only one that's ever actually listened when I needed to let everything out. It feels like you're the only one who cares. I…" she broke off.

Draco pulled her to his chest and held her there. "I know. I know you do." And he did know. He knew that she was going to say that she loved him. He couldn't say it back. Not yet at least. He knew he would be able to in time, but he had to come accept it within himself before he could say it and mean it with his whole heart.

She pulled herself away. "I'm sorry, Malfoy. I know that you don't want some filthy little mudblood crying on your shoulder."

"Don't apologize. And don't call yourself that. You can call me Draco too. It's okay. Can I ask you something?" She nodded. "Is it mine? The baby?"

"I don't know Draco. I don't fucking know. I can't do this. I can't take care of a baby by myself. What are people gonna think?" She buried her face in her hands.

"Hey, I'm gonna be here for you. Hermoine, I don't care of it's mine or not but I wanna be here for him or her. And for you." He rubbed her back.

She looked up at him "Ma…Draco. I…I don't know. What would people think?"

He threw his hands up in the air. "Hermoine! You gotta quit worrying about what other people think or say about you. Everyone is gonna say the shit they wanna say. We can't stop them. I don't care what people say. I. Want. You. I want every little piece of you. All the good and bad. Everything 'Moine. I want all of you. And I want this baby. I want him or her to call me Daddy. I want to be there when they're born. I want to be there when they're growing up. Every minute of everyday. I want to be with you. You're the one that has made me see life so differently. You're the one that said 'I love you' and meant it. That's what I've waited for. You've made my see myself differently. I don't know 'Moine. You just make me so happy." He turned red and looked away.

"Draco," she looked up at him. "I love you."

"I know 'Moine." They sat in silence. Neither of them talking but both know that the exact same thing was on both their minds.

"Draco, are you mad at me?" She asked.

"No. I'm just thinking. I really do want to be here for you and the baby. I think…I think I'm falling for you." He looked back to her.

"I don't mind. About all of what you said." She crawled over and snuggled into his chest. When she laid her head on his chest, Draco felt like he had the world in his arms. He held her close to him and she knew this was it. This is what she'd been waiting for.

Chapter one done. Tell me what you think.