Friend
Merlin was walking through the lower town, his hands full of various items. There were pots hanging from his shoulders, boxes under his chin, one bottle attached around his wrist. There were some days when he knew disasters were just around the corner and this was one such day.
As walked past a stall, a smell greeted his nostrils making him turn away briefly. By the time he realized what had happened he was already face flat on the ground pots and boxes surrounding him as everything fell to the ground with a crash.
Suddenly he felt really stupid, he must have looked such a sight to everyone, he sighed. Here he was a mighty sorcerer forced to be doing this, and now seeming like a idiot. He looked around a bit stunned still, and he just wanted to disappear and never come back.
A couple of people helped him up, sympathy etched on their faces. But it was the others that really got to him, the barely disguised grunts of amusement. For a moment he wanted to throw them onto their own faces. Only a familiar voice stopped him from putting any such thoughts into action.
"Are you all right Merlin?"
Merlin smiled as Lancelot arrived on the scene a look of worry on his face. The Knight put his hand on Merlin's shoulder noticing a little cut on his forehead.
"We need to get you patched up." Lancelot said, stooping to pick up the pots and boxes. By now the crowd of onlookers had disappeared, their curiosity satisfied by the spectacle.
"I must have looked such an idiot to them." Merlin moaned, giving his head a rub.
Lancelot grinned at this friend. "Well-"
Merlin laughed happy now to walk back with his friend. He felt relaxed straight away with the Knight. It had been a tough week for Merlin, a week that made him feel twice his age.
"This has been one week to forget you know Lancelot." Merlin said, hoping no one saw him in the state he was in.
"I know you look as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders at the moment Merlin." Lancelot said, looking closely at him and feeling more than a little nervous about his friend's general state. He had an idea, but first they needed to clean him up, before anyone spotted them.
Once they reached Gaius's chambers Lancelot was relieved that it was empty. As if reading his mind, his friend spoke.
"Gaius is visiting some patients he won't be back until supper time."
"Right sit down Merlin, and let me see to your face." He picked up a flannel and softly washed it, despite his gentleness he could feel Merlin squirm underneath. "I think you will live."
"Thanks." Merlin said, "I was hoping I'd get a long rest."
"Why don't we go to the forest this afternoon, we can have a talk. You can tell me what is bothering you, and don't say nothing as I know something is." Lancelot warned, putting the flannel down.
"Arthur would kill me if I took the afternoon off, just like that." Merlin said, raising his eyebrows at the thought of it.
"Arthur is busy with his Uncle at the moment. He won't miss anyone. This could be your only chance, I have some snacks in my bag." Lancelot winked, knowingly.
Merlin thought for a second. "Well I suppose Agravaine does like to get his undivided attention. It's a nice day, Gaius isn't here to give me any chores. Come on then let's go."
Lancelot laughed and followed Merlin out of the door, the two of them creeping around the corner, checking that the coast was clear. With no one in sight they ran outside, not stopping until they were in the lower town again. A feeling of sudden freedom took them over and they headed for the Darkling Woods.
"Where are we going?" Merlin asked, struggling to keep up with Lancelot.
"Oh just a little place I know. I go there when I want to practice on my own. It is very peaceful. A place you don't get disturbed in." Lancelot said, suddenly relaxing.
"How far away is this paradise?" Merlin asked, curiously.
"A ten minute walk, maybe less. I only came by it by accident. I wanted to get away this day from Gwaine's constant yapping." Lancelot laughed, "I sneaked away from him, and I could still hear him talking away!"
Merlin laughed, "That is Gwaine for you a good friend, but wow he knows how to talk."
They had moved up onto a tricky path. They could hear the birds singing away, alongside the buzz of insects. This part of the forest seemed alive with the sound of nature. It relaxed them both, and suddenly they felt their pace lessen, as a feeling of relaxation took over.
Lancelot pointed up ahead and Merlin could see a steam ahead, which was surrounded by bushes and high trees. It made him feel almost crammed in as he looked up at the trees, and stared in awe of their beauty and mighty height.
"These trees have been here for generations Lancelot. Just imagine the life that has played out here." Merlin whispered; a smile on his face.
"Yes it is the same where I am from. We had a forest full just like this. I remember when I was a boy being so frightened, walking past these huge trees. Hard to believe when I consider where I am now, but sometimes the strangest things unnerve you." Lancelot said, sitting down.
"It was the same for me. When I first found out about my magic, the shock was so terrifying. I did not know how to control it, and sometimes it would take me by surprise. I would be walking along just staring at something, and then suddenly all hell broke loose. I could change things so easily, so naturally. But that first time scared me so much." Merlin shivered, as he re-lived the moment.
"How did you survive to begin with?" Lancelot asked, so fascinated at hearing his secretive friend talking so openly.
"To begin with I didn't. It frightened me so much I would think I was a monster, sometimes I still do."
Lancelot frowned, wanting to shout out and say no Merlin, no you are wrong. But he sensed he needed his friend to say it naturally in his own way. So he waited until Merlin continued.
"Now I know that my magic is part of me, it flows through me. My magic is me as simple as that. But when I first found out I just could not accept it. I was scared of what people might think about me. I ended up almost killing my friend Will, oh not purposely. I was just unable to control it properly.
I was never good at games and one day Will started laughing at me about it. In the end I got so mad about what he was saying, that I ended up snapping a heavy branch away from the tree. It landed just a few feet away from him. I just remember him running and running."
"That must have been scary for you." Lancelot remarked, "What happened?"
"Will had seen my eyes turn gold, and he was just terrified. He kept pointing at me saying, you have magic, you have magic. I'll never forget the fear he had in his eyes Lancelot. Real fear, as if he didn't know me anymore. "
There was another pause, Lancelot was suddenly aware of the silence around
them. He waited for Merlin to continue, determined to hear him out in the hope that he could at least try and understand him, and learn about his magical skills properly.
"That was my worst moment. If I had lost Will, I don't know what I would have done. But in the end he saw the funny side of it. I sat and spoke to him about it, just like I'm doing with you now. I couldn't do this with everyone. Magic is such a precious thing, you can only tell it to someone you trust."
Lancelot suddenly felt honoured, he knew that in telling him this, it was a big moment for Merlin. There was a question he knew he'd needed to ask.
"Will you tell Arthur?" Lancelot asked, watching him closely.
"I would like him to know some day. But it does not seem possible at the moment." Merlin said, sadly.
"You mean because of Agravaine?" Lancelot remarked.
"No not just Agravaine. I don't know Arthur at the moment; I feel he has been stripped away from me somehow." Merlin said, wondering if he'd said too much.
Lancelot moved closer to him. "It will be all right Merlin. I know one day you will be able to tell him, and he will accept you."
"What if he doesn't?" Merlin asked, his eyes full of doubt.
"The two of you have a deeper bond than I have ever seen before. I know things will come together for you both. Just don't give up Merlin, and remember what you have is special." Lancelot smiled, relieved to see a tiny bit of warmth in Merlin's eyes.
"Thank you Lancelot, for being here and," Merlin said, "Well just being a friend."
"For all time Merlin."