A/N:

This idea just wouldn't leave me alone so I thought I would try writing it out. So... yeah. Please review and let me know if this is any good or if its not good at all. At which point I will cease and desist. Enjoy!

Santana Lopez loved high school. It was her kingdom, her domain. She was (arguably to some) the head bitch in charge at McKinley High School. Students and teachers alike either feared her, desired her, or both. Everyone knew her name and no one dared cross her or her clique. She was high school royalty, a queen among peasants, and though her subjects weren't necessarily loyal they were obedient.

Her menacing brown eyes traveled about the classroom in search of entertainment. Santana couldn't be bothered to pay attention to her AP English teacher's tiresome drone of a lecture. She could easily obtain the spark notes version of the lesson from Quinn who, Santana's gaze landed upon her best friend, was seated next to her. Paying full attention to the front of the classroom and studiously taking notes like the closet nerd she was. Santana rolled her eyes at the display. If Quinn weren't such a judgmental sociopathic controlling little princess, who also happened to be Santana's only plausible competition for Queen Bitch, their entire friendship wouldn't have made a lick of sense. They both had the same goal: be the best. They understood one another and from that understanding a (mostly) friendly sort of competition settled between them. Their friendship was spent trying to one up each other. They would probably steal each other's dates if they actually played for the same team. With Santana being openly gay and Quinn being obnoxiously straight their friendly competition was (for the most part) based on academic standing.

When Quinn paused her nerdy note taking to arch a brow at Santana the brunette merely shrugged. Continuing her survey of the room's occupants after receiving an exasperated eye roll from her bestie. Her bored stare skimmed over the other students, pausing long enough for her to mentally trash each one before moving along until she found something interesting enough to outwardly pursue. Which happened to be some nerdy Asian boy she couldn't bother to remember the name of, she was pretty sure he was the kid Puck bullied into doing his Math homework for the past three years, staring at Quinn like a lovesick puppy. She sent the boy a death glare and decided it was best to put him out of his misery. There was no way Quinn Fabray, the second hottest bitch in school, would ever go out with a nerdling like him. The way Santana saw it with a little public humiliation she'd be doing the kid a favor.

"Hey, Kung-fu."

The Asian boy snapped out of his Quinn Fabray induced daze long enough to spare a slightly shocked, mostly confused stare in Santana's direction. When he found the feisty brunette glowering right at him he instantly paled. It was a well known fact that Santana Lopez acknowledged a person's existence for only three reasons.

Reason #1: They were popular.

Reason #2: They were a hot chick.

Reason #3: They were about to be on the receiving end of her going all Lima Heights on their asses.

Seeing as he wasn't popular or a hot chick, the odds were not in his favor. "M-Me?"

"Am I looking at any one else?" The brunette hissed out viciously. Santana had to fight back a wicked cackle when the kid simply cowered and shook his head. Instead she nodded in Quinn's direction, her dark glare never straying from the frightened boy. "I can't concentrate with you drooling over Fabray like you're creaming your jeans because A) You're not her type and, B) It's just gross."

By the end of her verbal lashing, the poor kid had turned beet red. A few of the students who heard the exchange were either fighting off giggles or throwing him pity glances. He could feel himself starting to sweat from all the unwanted attention. An apology formed at the tip of his tongue, ready to be stuttered out meekly into the suddenly stiflingly hot classroom.

Quinn let loose an airy giggle, rolling her eyes at Santana's little display. Truth be told the blonde liked the attention. It was simply flattering. What fun would it be if Santana scared off all of her admirers? No fun at all. "Don't be jealous, Santana. It's scientifically proven that the human eye is automatically drawn to the most beautiful person in a room."

Santana snorted at the blonde's statement. "Scientifically proven my ass. You were getting your nerd on by actually taking notes and Nerdzilla got a woody over it."

The comment sparked an all out war of insults between the two girls. Something that was very common for the supposed best friends. The insults had actually given way to physical blows at one point. Nerdzilla/Kung-fu/Nerdy Asian Boy aka Michael Chang Jr. watched the exchange with a half mortified half turned on expression. He was seriously about to pass out from all the attention he was getting and the catfight he sort of inadvertently caused.

"Ladies," The suave voice expertly interrupted the squabble. Catching the attention of both Santana and Quinn. "You're both pretty. The better question is," Sebastian Smythe offered each of his two closest fag hags a smarmy smirk. "Who is runner up for sexiest bitch in this school? Because we all know I'm number one." The arrogant boy turned his flirty on, sending a wink at the red faced Asian boy. "Wouldn't you agree?"

All Mike could manage was a flustered, "I... W-Well, um, I-I-"

Before the classroom door swung open with a loud thud to reveal a cute blonde dressed in a panda hat, an oversized T-shirt with a cartoon duck on it, loose cargo capris, and a pair of bright blue converse. The blonde's large grin faltered slightly, a confused crinkle setting at her brow as she took in the class. In the few seconds it took for the blonde's grin to replace itself across her face, a short brunette appeared in the doorway next to her. Seemingly upset and majorly put off by the chipper blonde.

The small brunette, Rachel Berry aka the most annoying little hobbit on the face of the planet, apologized for her companion's intrusion. Making a point to stroll all the way into the classroom, standing in front of the teacher to make sure all eyes were trained on her. "Do excuse the interruption fellow students. I, being the kind and helpful person I am, was merely pointing our new transfer student in the right direction which is clearly not AP English."

The blonde, still lingering in the doorway, glared at Rachel. Seemingly offended by the brunette's insinuation.

Santana, Sebastian, and Quinn watched the scene with semi amusement. Tuning out Rachel's ranting to converse conspiratorially with one another.

"It looks like Man Hands made a little friend." The jab fell from Quinn's pretty glossed lips like liquid hate. The popular blonde had always held some kind of special dislike for Rachel Berry that no one fully understood.

Santana, on the other hand, knew exactly why she disliked the freaky troll. The girl was just plain annoying. "Oh, please, Berry was probably stalking the new kid trying to get her to join her stupid Barbara Streisand fan club and blondie ran for the nearest escape route. I mean did you see how excited she looked when she entered the room? She probably thought she finally got away from the hobbit."

The bell rang midway through Santana's catty comment and the three friends laughed as they gathered their belongings. Heading for the exit still occupied by the new transfer student.

"Cute top." Sebastian's ever present arrogant grin gave his sarcastic compliment a haughty flair.

"Thanks!" The sarcasm, it seemed, was completely lost on the new girl who simply beamed at the boy.

Sebastian's grin never faltered as he snorted at the response. Green eyes glimmering with cruel mischief. "Where did you find it? The children's department in Walmart?"

Since she had a habit of doing so, Rachel Berry annoyingly included herself in the conversation. Shooting a fierce glare at the trio. "Leave Brittany alone. She hasn't done anything to warrant bullying from the likes of you three."

"Bullying?" Quinn managed to look both appalled and amused at the some time. Her best debutant smile stretched across her lips and feigned innocence in her hazel eyes. "We were only complimenting your new friend's fashion sense. Really, Rachel, I'm so glad you found a compatible shopping buddy."

The trio didn't leave room for either of the girls to respond and walked away with Santana cackling as they headed down the hall toward their next class. Her wicked laughter ended abruptly when someone ran into her. The popular brunette immediately shoved the offensive person into the nearest row of lockers, scowling upon realizing who the culprit was. If the kid were anyone but golden boy Finn Hudson's little gay brother she would have had him in tears. "Watch where you're going, Lady Face."

They continued down the hall, crowd parting like the Red Sea, without any further incidents.

Another Friday night, another party at the Lopez residence. Santana had been throwing parties at her massive house nearly every weekend since sophomore year. Her parents were almost always away on trips for business or whatever the hell else they did without her and they never commented on the alcohol missing from the bar when they came home. Santana had not enjoyed one of her own parties since she realized her parents either didn't care that their house was being used to inebriate minors or didn't care what Santana did as long as she didn't tarnish the family's image. Thus, every Friday night was spent holed up in her bedroom with her closest friends. Sometimes they just talked (gossiped more like it), other times they played games, and on a few rare occasions they did stupid childlike things. Like building a fort, playing hide and seek, and having random pillow fights. It was almost routine. The only one who actually stayed downstairs to party was Puck and that was only when he and Quinn were having one of their OFF periods.

That particular Friday night marked the end of summer vacation and they found themselves holed up in Santana's rather large bedroom, listening to Sebastian bitch about his recent breakup with the hot college boyfriend he met on his summer trip to California. Apparently the guy broke it off because Sebastian was "too juvenile". Quinn was seated on a sofa with Sebastian lying in her lap, sulking to his melodramatic hearts content. Quinn, despite her ice queen demeanor, was comforting her friend while listening to him vent. From her perch atop her massive bed, Santana watched the two blondes in complete and utter boredom before rolling her eyes. She turned her attention to the sickeningly cute couple next to her. Sam and Mercedes were seated at the edge of her large bed, holding hands and whispering things to each other. They'd been that way since the recent end of junior year and the cuteness of it made Santana want to barf.

"I'm getting tired of your whining, Smythe." The brunette groaned in exasperation. She was bored. There was a wild end of summer party raging downstairs and she was so fucking bored that she was on the precipice of blowing her brains out. "It's not like you were in love with the guy. Actually, I know for a fact you could barely stand Jesse St. Douchebag."

"Says the girl who can't tell a relationship from a romp in the janitors closet." The blond boy proceeded to glare at Santana, a frown marring his handsome features.

Santana glared back, lips parting to retort.

"Quit it, Sebastian. You know Santana is right." Mercedes, sensing the impending catfight, decided to intervene. "You just need a new play thing and you'll be back to your old self."

The group of friends barely batted an eyelash when Noah Puckerman barged into the room. He made his way toward Quinn and Sebastian. Clearly intoxicated if the stumbling and dark red flush across his cheeks were any indication. The dark haired boy plopped down on the couch next to Quinn. His lips immediately attaching themselves to Quinn's neck. He ignored the exasperated groans from his friends as well as Sebastian cursing at him in French for jostling his head out of Quinn's comfy lap.

"Ugh! Noah!" Quinn managed to push him off of her before his hands started wandering as they tended to. "Go find one of your sluts. I'm not in the mood to deal with you crying like a baby after. Besides, we're currently OFF since you decided to start that ridiculous pool cleaning business. Everyone knows it's just a cover for you screwing their moms."

"Dude!" Sam's face flushed at the information. "You cleaned my pool last week! Which means you... You ass!"

All Puck had to offer was a sleazy grin and his on again currently off again girlfriend couldn't fight rolling her eyes at his antics. "I thought we agreed all of our moms were off limits."

The dark haired boy only shrugged. "News to me. What are you losers doing up here anyway? Party's downstairs."

"Same reason you were trying to get Fabray into a pity fuck." Santana picked at her cuticles with clear disinterest. "Boredom."

Everyone laughed except for Quinn who tossed a pillow at Santana's head. The flying projectile completely missed its intended target, catching an unprepared Sam Evans in the face and causing the laughter in the room to double.

Mercedes pressed a soothing kiss to her boyfriend's cheek before turning to her friends with a glare. "If all of you hadn't hooked up with anyone that was even a little bit good looking or popular, these lips would be on those lips instead of us hiding out up here watching ya'll mope."

Sam nodded in agreement with his girlfriend. "Yeah. There are a grip of not so good looking, unpopular kids you guys could turn into your love slaves or something."

The suggestion received matching grins from the rooms other four occupants.

Upon recognizing the shared glimmer of mischief in her friends' eyes Mercedes turned to her boyfriend with a horrified expression. "Please tell me you understand what you did wrong just now."

"Babe I was just joking. There's no way they would take it seriously. They wouldn't really..." A quick glance around the room had Sam eating his words. If his friends' devious grins hadn't tipped him off, his girlfriend's incredulous look did. "Um... Oops?"

Sam's thoughtless suggestion landed the group sitting on Santana's bedroom floor in a small circle with a black studded cowboy hat in the center. Completely careless of the ongoing party happening downstairs. Mercedes and Sam were whispering conspiratorially while writing their consensus down on little strips of notebook paper. Sebastian and Puck were throwing back lined up shots of whiskey while Santana egged them on, all the while taking swigs directly from the bottle. Quinn, however, was sipping on a wine cooler and eyeing the cowboy hat in the center with a perturbed stare.

"I still don't understand why you had a random cowboy hat under your bed, Santana."

The brunette in question arched a finely sculpted brow at her BFF. Taking the opportunity to make the blonde prude feel uncomfortable. "Obviously for the same reason I have a naughty candy striper outfit, a pair of furry red handcuffs, and a strap-on, Quinn."

"Hot!" Puck whooped in between shots.

Quinn flushed a deep shade of red, scowling at Santana. Not only did she have the obscene mental image of Santana using each of the items, she was going to have to deal with Puck and his raging libido. "Ugh. Spare me the details."

Sam watched the interaction with furrowed brows, whispering his confusion to Mercedes. "I still don't get what the cowboy hat is for."

Mercedes shifted uncomfortably, "Forget about the stupid hat. I do not want to hear any more than I already know."

Sebastian downed his last shot with a triumphant smirk, blowing a kiss in a grumbling Puck's direction. He was literally bouncing in his seat, considerably happier than before. The break up with his ex forgotten in lieu of the little game they were about to play. "Now that I've kicked Noah's ass, lets really get the party started."

"Okay." Mercedes tossed the ten folded pieces of paper she and Sam were working on into the cowboy hat. She felt kind of bad for the hell she volunteered four unlucky people for but she really needed some alone time with her man. And without a distraction for the four devils in front of her, her friends would continue monopolizing their couple time like they had all summer long. "The rules are simple. Y'all are gonna pick a name out of the hat and you'll have to get whoever you pick to fall for you."

Puck snorted arrogantly. He was a hot commodity around Lima. Everyone wanted a piece of him therefore the little game they were proposing was nothing more than child's play. "Psh. Too easy. I'm pretty sure every chick in school is already in love with me. Even Santana wants a piece of the Puckster. The lezbo act ain't fooling no one."

Santana was used to Puck's behavior but detested his blatant disrespect for her sexuality. She slept with him one time during freshman year when she was still buried in the closet and panicking and he never let her live it down. The anger bubbling inside her had her practically growling at him, "Fine. Let's raise the stakes, Puckerman."

The dark haired man offered her a cocky smile, his hand running arrogantly through his mohawk. He loved riling Santana up because the chick was hot when she was angry. "What'd you have in mind, Lopez?"

Sebastian watched the scene play out before him with a wide grin. He was practically bouncing in his seat with excitement. Whenever Puck and Santana made a bet the stakes were always high and the prize golden. The blonde girl next to him rolled her eyes at their little pissing contest. She knew about their stupid fling freshman year. The only reason she started dating Puck was because she thought Santana had a thing for him and he was, Quinn admitted begrudgingly, totally hot. Turned out Santana was Ellen DeGeneris gay and the joke was on her. Mercedes and Sam merely watched on, terrified. Bets between Puck and Santana always ended with one of them doing something stupid. Like the time Puck had to run through the halls of McKinley on parent/teacher night naked and covered in butter. Or the time Santana had to spend an entire day being nice to everyone. Well, that one had been a pretty good thing up until the hot headed brunette exploded during Math class and ended up chasing Rachel Berry across campus wielding a frozen burrito.

"Not only do you have to get the loser to fall for you, you have to make them popular." A self satisfied grin stretched itself across Santana's full lips and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Like, Prom royalty popular."

"You're on." Puck matched the brunette's grin. "Whoever can get the nerd to fall for them and get crowned at Prom wins. Losers are the winner's slaves for a month."

"Hey," Quinn butted in, hazel eyes filled with protest. "I'm all for this little bet but if its my free will on the line we're going to have to make some ground rules."

"We could have five rounds." Sebastian shot each of his companions a lazy smirk. "That way you could still win the bet even if they don't get crowned at Prom."

Ruffling Sebastian's short hair playfully, Quinn gave the boy a wink as if to say good job. The blond boy responded by sticking his tongue out at the girl. Quinn giggled softly before speaking. "Round one is obviously based on Charm. Whoever gets their person to fall for them first wins."

"Since we'll be choosing from the very bottom of McKinley's social hierarchy a makeover will be in order. Presentation is a must." Sebastian wouldn't be caught dead dating (even if it was fake) someone who didn't know silk from chiffon.

"Fine. Third round is based on Performance. Whoever can make the entire school believe they're actually into the loser wins round three. Which," Santana buffed her nails on her top with a haughty arch of her eyebrow. "We all know will be me."

"You know you can't leave out Buzz Factor." All eyes turned to Mercedes who gave her friends an annoyed glare when she realized none of them knew what the hell she was talking about. Really, how clueless could they be. "As McKinley's crowned gossip Queen I can tell you none of your little science projects are gonna be in the running for Prom without any buzz."

Sam, who got a little lost in the middle of it all, recounted the ground rules out loud. "So basically you guys are going to pick a nerd from the hat, seduce them, give them a make over, convince the whole school you're an actual item, start rumors, and try to get them crowned at Prom?"

His friends nodded. Puck shrugged and offered a, "pretty much, yeah" for good measure.

"That's kind of... mean. Don't you think?"

Quinn grinned deviously, nodding in assent. "One last thing, to make things even more interesting. No sex."

Her three opponents simultaneously let out a flabbergasted, "WHAT?!"

"Oooo, girl. Way to spice things up. We all know these three are sex fiends." The self proclaimed gossip Queen clapped in pure delight. Shit was getting exciting.

Puck was on the verge of pulling his mohawk out at the suggestion. "Like, no sex in general or no sex with each other or-"

"What the hell, Fabray! Just because you're not getting any doesn't mean the rest of us-"

"No sex. At all. With our pet projects, with each other, or with anyone else." She crossed her arms over her chest, hazel eyes resolute. "It's a ground rule or I'm not participating."

"Fine." Santana hissed through gritted teeth, holding Quinn's stare. She shushed Puck and Sebastian when they attempted to protest. If Quinn fucking Fabray thought she was winning their little bet because she thought Santana couldn't keep it in her pants the bitch was about to be sorely disappointed. "No sex until the bet is over."

The four of them agreed to the terms, Puck begrudgingly agreeing to the no sex rule. It looked like his pool cleaning gig would be out of service for the next few months. With a smug look in her eyes Quinn reached for the hat, plucking a name from it and gesturing for the others to do the same. Once they all had a scrap of paper in hand they opened them at the same time to reveal the names of their victims.

"Kurt... Hummel?" Sebastian blanched at the name. Life just wasn't fair. "No way. I'm not playing with Hudson's little gay brother. Someone trade me."

Puck shook his head at the proffered scrap of paper, holding his out of Sebastian's grasp. "Sorry, bro. Not into dudes."

"Quinnie," He gave the other blonde a pout that looked closer to a sour frown. "Trade me?"

"Mike Chang for the biggest gaymo in school?" Quinn outright laughed at the boy. She practically already won. "Not a chance."

"Aw, no fair! How did you get the kid who's had the hugest crush on you since seventh grade?" Sebastian's sad attempt at a pout shifted into a glower.

Santana stared at the name in front of her, utterly clueless. She had no fucking idea who Brittany Pierce was. She spared a glance between her distracted companions and the cowboy hat in the center of the circle. Contemplating whether or not to swap the name with a new one. Although... there was a possibility that her new target would be someone totally gross. Like Jacob Ben Israel or Suzy Pepper or... Rachel Berry. A disgusted shudder ran through her at the thought of having to chase after the horrible little hobbit.

"Whoa!" Puck snuck a peek at the name in Santana's hand, a lewd grin taking up space across his face. "Up for a trade?"

"In your dreams, Puckerman." Santana instantly refused. She might not know who the hell the chick was but if the look in Puck's eyes was anything to go by, girl must be at least half way decent.