State of Being

Author: Oro

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Some things in the world belong to me. Sports Night isn't one of them.

Notes: Thank you, Meggars, for preview read. Hee.

He kisses her after the show again. His taste on her lips is bittersweet and wet and familiar and late. Too late; it's been a year since the last time he's done this. She's unavailable to him now and he knows it, but he does it anyway because he's a selfish prick. She pushes him off gently.

'What are you doing, Casey?' a light, embarrassed smile crosses her lips for a second.

'I thought it was pretty clear from the way I—'

'I'm not there anymore. And neither are you.'

It's probably true; he breathes out his disappointment on her lips.

'Casey…'

Her eyes plead him; don't make it out to be more than it should be. For once in your life, don't be selfish. Don't; 'you can't be mad at me for this. No. You told me to go away, basically, and I respected that. I stayed away, I watched you go on and get in the game. I went through Pixley and Laura and Nikki and God knows who else you brought, they all look the same. You can't be mad at me for this and you cannot reclaim me, not now, because I wasn't more yours to claim than you were mine. It just took me longer to get over it. And I am, I really am over it. Sam is a good guy…'

He doesn't pay much attention to the words he recklessly spits at her; 'Sam's an asshole.' He says, aggression grazing his tone of voice.

Her eyes, previously patient, somehow become rounder and sadder as her gaze is fixed on his own. 'No, Casey. You're an asshole.'

'I was there when he left you, remember?' he says, even if he wasn't, even if she never told him, even if he had to hear it from Natalie. He was in the vicinity of events and for the time being, until he could find a better one, this is his argument.

'No you weren't!' she shouts. 'You weren't there! I'm tired of you always being righteous, always right, whatever, because you're completely wrong. You're insane to think I'd wait for you while you go around with other women, and you're insane to think Danny would wait for you while you're having a phantom crisis trying to decide what you want!'

'Dana, I don't think you should be saying these things to me. Let us not forget Gordon, the dating plan, and yes, I know,' he continues even though and because he knows she wants to protest, 'you're gonna pull out the sleeping with Sally thing? You played me, though. And Pixley, Pixley was there when you weren't. If that makes me a jerk, so be it, but I think that this isn't about Sally, and it isn't about Gordon, it's not about your disturbing thoughts regarding Danny, who by the way is just my friend no matter how many people would watch the show would say otherwise. It's not even about Sam. It's about you, and it's about me.'

'There is no me and you, Casey,' her hand, bowled into a fist, lands on his chest. 'There is not. We are over. We are dead. We are, quite obviously, something that is not to happen in this lifetime!' and she is tired. She's so, so tired.

His arms tighten around her and he pulls her into another kiss, and she doesn't protest because all that's happened is bullshit and she's tired of dwelling, tired of yelling at Casey and having to be mad at him, so she does this instead. It doesn't feel that bad and she won't go to hell, because hell is a state of being.