It was love at first sight…but I say that every time I see some hot new tank top that is…oh my god!...on sale! The look on my face must have said it, because Nick cleared his throat and groaned in that 'oh no, not again' manner. He leaned, in complete boredom on the next rack over, not even caring what it was. When he saw that it was large woman's underwear, though, he quickly moved and tried to look nonchalant. Yes, ladies, I dragged my boyfriend Nick Stokes SHOPPING!
He was dragged along because we both had various errands to run. I told him I just needed to pop in to the mall to pick up my watch from the repair shop, but my well-trained man knew better. Nick didn't even argue when I just had to check out the huge blow-out sale next door at The Limited. He knows there's no stopping me.
"What do you think of this one?" I asked him, a promiscuous grin on my face as I held the skimpy top up to my figure. I gave him an enticing wink and wiggled my shoulders a little. Nick was finishing a yawn, but he nodded politely, scratching his neck.
"Looks great, babe." He said quickly, trying to hurry me along. I, for one, knew I would look totally hot in it. When I tried it on, I knew he wouldn't be able to resist me.
"Niiiiiick!" I pulled on his hand, wishing he would sound at least a little more excited.
"Whaaaat?" He said, trying to sound light and funny, but I could tell he was bored out of his mind.
"Why aren't you helping me shop?"
"What do you want me to do?" He breathed out incredulously. "I grew up with five sisters, Sar. It's not like I haven't been through this a thousand times before. There's no guy clothing."
"Well, I wish you would tell me if you like what I'm showing you." I turned around, taking the sexy tank top with me, and grabbing another style off the next rack. Nick followed close behind me. He would never want to upset me or make me feel unwanted. When I stopped at the next rack, I felt his strong arms embrace me from behind, and a sweet kiss on my neck.
"You'll look sexy in whatever you wear." He whispered into my ear. "You know I can't resist you wearing anything." Another adoring kiss. "Or nothing." He smiled into the next kiss.
I smiled as I felt his hands move to my hips, his thumbs rubbing lustrously at my bare skin. I turned in his arms and gave him an appreciative kiss. Nick was such a good sport. As I pulled back and smiled at him, I noticed it out of the corner of my eye.
Traipsing into the store, in a similar bored manner as Nick, was the one and only Hank Pedigrew. He was with the girlfriend I found out about indirectly through a case I was working on. That man broke my heart; broke it into a million pieces, and stomped all over it. I felt so cheated, and stupid, and…just used. After Hank, I really didn't feel like even trying to date anyone else for a while. That's when Nick started to woo me (I LOVE that word!), and never before had I known such a patient, understanding, wonderful man. He made, and still makes me feel, like the most gorgeous, sexy, amazing woman on earth. When I'm with Nick, I'm riding high and nothing can topple me over.
At least that's what I thought until now. The feelings came back when I laid eyes on that creep. He followed his girlfriend aimlessly, walking a few steps behind her as she did her browsing. She was confident and beautiful, just assuming that wherever she walked, Hank would follow. She didn't even look like she was worried that he was bored, or wasn't behind her. Sometimes I get a little jealous of such confident people. I'm always looking over my shoulder, making sure people aren't ready to walk away and leave me hanging, even Nick. He gets so hurt when I question him. He's sworn up and down that he will never leave me. He is with me, and committed to me, and head over heals in love. I believe him most of the time, but there's sometimes that little twinge of chance poking at the back of my mind. What if some hot smoking gal moves in next door, or even worse, starts working at CSI? Would he drop me like fourth period French? Seeing Hank only increased that uncertainty in the back of my mind.
Nick must have sensed my uneasiness all of a sudden. He tells me my emotions are always written all over my face. He gently kissed my forehead, bringing my attention back to him.
"You okay? I didn't mean to upset you."
"No, no. I'm…fine. I just…never mind." I smiled a little nervously, wondering if Hank was going to notice us, or if Nick would notice Hank. Nick knew all about what happened with Hank, but he didn't threaten to kick his ass like I thought he would. Instead, he kissed me sweetly and told me that Hank didn't know what he was missing, and that he was the luckiest guy in the world. Nick is such a gentle hunk of a man, and I love him.
I kept my eyes on Nick, because I decided I didn't want Nick to see Hank. I didn't want him to see that he'd affected me so much. So, I decided to play a little. Somehow, in my twisted mind, I kind of wanted to make Hank jealous. I wanted him to see how drop-dead happy I was with Nick; how doting and affectionate and caring he could be. And what he'd given up – I was going to try that tank top on and work my stuff, hoping Hank would look this way.
I prayed that Nick would follow me when I turned around and started walking to the changing room, trying to sway my hips a little more than usual. When I reached the changing room area, I turned around, and he was of course still there. What else would he do? Browse through the Capri section? I turned to him, making sure we could be seen, and grabbed the edges of his button-up shirt, and pulled him towards me, giving him a slow, thorough kiss.
Nick seemed a little surprised, but he hungrily returned it, sending shivers through my body like he always does when he kisses me. I broke it off, giving his lips a few short pecks and running my hand lovingly over his gorgeous face. He smiled at me, wondering why other shopping trips weren't as enjoyable as it was right now.
"I'm gonna go try this on." I whispered and then quickly walked away. As I closed the door, I saw Hank's face looking this way, and Nick taking in a deep, cleansing breath. Yep, I had 'em. I had 'em both. The Sara show was on.
I changed the fastest I ever had, throwing off my other top, and pulling the sexy tank on quickly. I realized it might look weird if I opened the door right then, after only about fifteen seconds, so I twiddled my thumbs for a few moments, fluffing my hair around, and adjusting my cleavage…well, the little tiny bit I have. After about a minute, I finally spoke and opened the door just a tad.
"You wanna see it?" I asked enticingly, peeking my eye through the hole. Nick walked over from where he'd been standing, an amused smile on his face. I love when he looks at me like that – like I'm the only other person on earth, and that he totally adores me.
"Of course I do." He says from just outside the door. I swing the door open and lean against the frame exotically. Nick laughs at my antics and shakes his head, but I can tell he thinks I look hot. The top accentuates all my delectable curves, and the dark purple compliments my skin very well.
My eyes move briefly from Nick's to get a 10-2 on Hank. He's staring at me! He's actually full-on staring at me. When I catch his eye, he quickly averts his gaze, returning to following his girlfriend around. Yessssss. Eat your heart out, Pedigrew!
Then I do something very un-Sara Sidle-ish. I grab Nick by the shirt and pull him into the dressing room. Nick lets out a stunned sounds, but he's laughing at me, thinking I've gone nuts, which isn't that far fetched.
"Sara, what are you…"
I cut him off, pushing him against the dressing room wall and planting a searing kiss on his gorgeous lips. Again, he seemed shocked, but the shock quickly subsides and he's returning the kiss with just as much fervor. His hands go down to my waist and up under my top, massaging the bare skin beneath, while our lips work together impatiently. This is definitely not the time or place. Nick and I have a great sex life, but feeling each other up in a The Limited dressing room is definitely not on my resume. As his hand reaches up to unclasp my bra, I have a thought that this is what skanky mall rats do when there are no good clearance sales at Elder Beerman. But I don't care.
I giggle into the kiss, loving that Nick is into this friskiness of mine.
"Niiiick." I moan softly.
"I can't get the full idea of that tank top when you have a bra on." He stopped nuzzling my earlobe long enough to get out, "I think I need to see it strapless to…know if you should buy it or not." His breathing hitched when I grinded my hips into his.
"Good thinking." Nick's hands skillfully remove my bra, hooking the straps all the way around my arms like he sees me do when I'm too tired to take my shirt off. When it's gone, his hands immediately go up the front of my top. We're just beginning to really enjoy ourselves, when there's a knock at the door.
"Uhhh…ma'am?" It was the store clerk. Nick and I both freeze, holding each other, and our heads snap to the door. "The other dressing rooms are out of order, and there's another lady who would like to try some items on. Could you and your…man finish up quickly?"
Both of our faces turned a deep red and Nick smiled at me.
"Uh, yeah. We'll be right out." When I'm sure she's walked away, both of us chuckle a little bit. Nick kisses me several more times, like he's promising me we'll finish this later, and wordlessly turns me around. He pulls the tank top off, which I am most definitely getting and plants a kiss to my shoulder, then reaches down and picks my bra up off the floor. Nick helps me put it on and fastens it for me, allowing his finger to trace a line down to the small of my back. His hands go to my hips and he turns me again, kissing me sweetly one last time.
After I've put my shirt back on and gathered the tank top and hanger up, I carefully opened the door, wondering who would be on the other side. It was Hank and his girlfriend. Yessssss.
I give Hank a smug smile as I walk past them. He looks shocked out of his boredom, and…how can I say it? Unsatisfied with his life. I felt like a million bucks.
Nick, ever the investigator, must have figured out my ploy as we passed the unhappy couple. Only seconds after passing them, Nick grabs my upper arm gently and stops me, turning me to face him.
"What was that?" His eyes are questioning me, and suddenly I feel like a little kid caught eating cookies before dinner.
"Huh?"
"That was Hank, wasn't it? Did you know he was here?"
"What do you mean?" I tried sounding innocent, but I could tell Nick wasn't buying it.
"Sara, don't give me that. You knew he was here, didn't you? Is that why you were so…" He gestured with his hand, not knowing how to put it.
"So what, Nick? What were you going to say? I need an excuse to be spontaneous and sexy? I thought you liked that."
"I did, Sara, but I thought you were putting on that show for me. Now I can see that it was all a show for Hank. Were you trying to make him jealous?"
His face looked hurt, and right then I wished I could take back that whole game I had just played. Being intimate has always been a product of trust for Nick and I. It took me so long to be ready to be intimate with someone again, and Nick had been so patient and understanding. I took advantage of that trust just now, when I used sex as a ploy. Suddenly, I felt dirty and disgusting, and uncomfortable in my own skin. I wanted that look off of Nick's face right now, because it was making me feel awful.
"Nick…"
"Let's go." He muttered, touching my arm again to get me to move.
"Nick, wait!" I almost yelled, tears in my eyes. Nick stopped and readjusted his stance. He knew how stubborn I was, and that I wouldn't leave until I was ready.
"This isn't the place to have this discussion, Sara. Let's go home."
"Nick, stop. Just let me explain." I was practically begging him, and I grabbed his hand, sandwiching it between my shaking ones. I can't believe I'm shaking. I can't lose Nick. I can't! How could I be so stupid! Nick stopped and seemed to be waiting now for an explanation.
"I did see Hank, you're right." I admitted, looking pitiful, I'm sure. "But I wasn't jealous or thinking of him like that, Nick. I felt…betrayed, like when I found out about his girlfriend. And I wanted to make him jealous. I wanted to make him sorry that he took advantage of me." I sounded so stupid.
"So, you used me to make Hank jealous of our relationship? Is that what we are? Am I just some pawn you're using to get back at your exes?"
"No, Nick, no! Of course not! You know…you know how hard it was for me to trust someone again. He hurt me bad. I know it's immature, but I just wanted to get back at him."
"Well, congratulations. You hurt him, and you hurt me, too." Nick started to walk out again, but I stopped him, practically jumping in front of him.
"Nick, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, please! I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't think I could live, and I'm sorry! I'm just sorry, Nick." I was crying now, and sure I was getting looks from the other customers. I had never felt so completely helpless and desperate. Not minutes before, we were all over each other, drinking in each other, and now I was afraid he would never want me again. I was so sickened with myself.
After letting me cry for a few seconds, after making a complete idiot of myself, Nick took hold of my hands that had been on his chest.
"Sara, look at me." He gently commanded, and I did.
"I love you like no other woman before. I love you unwaveringly and completely, and you don't seem to realize that sometimes. I wish you would trust me and not worry about some jerk that jaded you five years ago. I'm right here in front of you, Sar." His loving gaze was stationed directly into my eyes, and right then I felt my heart mend itself again. I don't know why I can't be normal and trust people. This amazing, giving, wonderful man loves me with all his heart, but sometimes I can't get it through my head that he's not going anywhere. He's mine, and I'm his. And things have never felt so wonderful.
"I love you." Nick kissed me with all the love he had inside for me, and jolts went through my body. I could never get tired of that. "Now let's go home, and you can model that tank top for me again, with no bra."
When we got home, Nick and I made sweet, sweet love, further convincing me of his commitment. Let's just say the tank top made a brief appearance, but that definitely wasn't the main attraction. That is the beginning of a new story.
A/N: I hope I didn't make Sara seem too desperate. Gotta run – thanks forensics fan for a great challenge!