Title: Ocean's Edge
Rating: M for language, violence, abuse (graphic) and sexual situations.
Pairing/s: Logan/Veronica, Aaron/Lynn
Genre: AU, angst, H/C, romance, drama
Warnings: Trigger warnings, child abuse, attempted rape. Language, violence, sex
Summary: Set during the first few episodes of season one, Veronica and Logan cross paths in the most unlikely of places. Secrets are revealed and friendships tentatively rekindled. BIG Spoilers for (some of) these episodes, including shameless use of some of the witty and clever dialogue (because let's face it, Mr Rob Thomas is a genius, right?)
Notes: First Veronica Mars fanfic, so apologies if my research etc is off. Hope you enjoy anyway!
Ocean's Edge
There's a place I dream about, where the sun never goes out and the sky is deep and blue... won't you take me there with you? Ooo We can begin again, shed our skin, let the sun shine in... At the edge of the ocean, we can start over again.
(Ivy).
Worries and fear had no place on the ocean for Logan as he floated calmly on his surf board, as far away from the beach as he dared.
Lifting his face to the first warm sunrays of the day, he sighed softly and closed his eyes. For those precious few moments, the sun always made the world look and feel bright and beautiful. Neptune seemed so small and unreal from that distance, like a miniature model hidden amongst the palm trees, built for a child to play with, smash up and destroy... And as he sat watching his friends wipe out time after time, their shouts and laughter drifting over to him on the gentle salt tinged breeze, it was easy to imagine that he didn't exist with nothing but water surrounding him, that his life belonged to someone else, not him.
But when the ocean swelled and rolled beneath his board, like a giant, gentle breath, carrying him forward towards the shore, Logan forgot the anger and bitterness that filled his soul, forgot everything in that magical moment where the world slowed right down and he lost himself and found himself at the same time, and just for a little while, lived.
Riding the wave, with the wind whistling past his ears and the roar of the crest crashing, chasing him as Logan's board cut gracefully through the water, like a knife through warm butter, made him feel unbeatable, untouchable... Nothing else mattered in the world but the wave, the rush of exhilaration and serenity washing away all his troubles...
He was smiling when he reached the shore, and hopped off his board feeling carefree and alive. His friends waved to him before heading back out to do it all over again, and Logan turned around and paddled after them.
~VM~VM~VM~VM~VM~VM~
Echolls' mansion, Neptune, California...
"Huh," Aaron Echolls murmured, one eyebrow rising. The word echoed in the unnatural stillness of the Echolls family room and he idly scratched under his chin with his fingers before leaning forward slightly, picking up his orange juice and swallowing a mouthful. "Hello! Magazine want to do a three page feature about me... A Weekend with Aaron Echolls; Hollywood Movie Star and Family Man," he finished with flair looking up with a grin before putting down his glass, cocking his head slightly to the side and rereading, with a single minded interest, the paperwork his PA had forwarded to him by special courier earlier that morning.
His wife, Lynn, forced herself to smile at him from her place at the opposite end of the table, a comforting ten feet of reinforced designer bevelled Italian glass between them, and pushed down the urge to laugh at the ludicrous notion of the very idea that Aaron Echolls and Family Man should ever inhabit the same sentence. She sipped her coffee quietly and concentrated on the sun's morning heat streaming through the large, elegantly trimmed picture windows warming her silk covered shoulders instead.
"Hmm, they're offering me five figures and an all expenses paid weekend aboard the Neptune Princess." Aaron looked up, leaning back in his seat, one arm motioning to her, "Lynn, isn't that the name of the new cruise ship they just launched last month? Remember, we attended the gala..."
Placing her delicate china cup on its matching saucer next to an untouched grapefruit half, Lynn watched as Aaron smirked to himself and chuckled softly, clearly thinking of that party, and the young blonde bimbo Lynn knew he'd disappeared with to screw, whilst she was left making small talk and excuses for her husband's awkward and embarrassing absence.
Bastard.
"Lynn, remember?"
Startled from her dark thoughts, Lynn blinked and quickly schooled her features into the role of doting wife. "Yes, the Neptune Princess. It's supposed to be luxurious, isn't it?" she agreed with the appropriate amount of excitement in her voice.
Aaron nodded and held up the brochure that had come with the package. When it became apparent that Aaron wasn't going to move from his shady end of the table and come to her, Lynn gracefully stood up and approached her husband as he leafed through the glossy booklet, her long, silk nightwear swishing almost too loudly in the quietness. She stopped behind Aaron and lightly placed her hands on his shoulders, gently stroking her thumbs over his collar, showing her enthusiasm in the way she touched and leaned in close, her face a hair's breadth from his, her smile open and warm.
Lynn Echolls didn't win her Emmy for nothing.
"Looks wonderful, darling," she opined softly, then straightened up again and asked, "Are you going to do it?"
"Of course I am," Aaron scowled at her. He slammed the brochure closed and twisted around in his chair. Lynn moved back a fraction before calmly returning to her own seat again, Aaron's dark eyes following her. "Is there a reason you think I shouldn't, Lynn?"
Busying herself with her coffee, adding extra sugar and stirring delicately, methodically, Lynn shook her head. "Of course not, darling," she lied beautifully and looked up. "I know how hectic your schedule is during these coming months, what with the new movie in Vancouver about the start shooting, and the post-production meetings for the one you've just finished." She gave Aaron a well practiced loving and concerned expression. "I just don't want you exhausting yourself, Aaron."
An awkward silence filled the sun warmed room for a long minute. Lynn lifted her cup to her lips and sipped, ignoring the sickly sweetness of the over-sugared lukewarm coffee, hating every second of being closely scrutinised by her husband, but hiding it perfectly well.
"It's a vacation, darling, and they're paying for it," Aaron eventually said, the scowl now gone and replaced by a smile that once upon a time would have made Lynn's heart flutter at how handsome he was. He picked up his half eaten cream-cheese bagel and waved it in her general direction, "I think I can put up with a couple of interviews and the odd photograph whilst drinking mai tai's by the pool."
Lynn sighed internally.
"It's a shame Trina is in Maui for the next three months," he lamented finishing the bagel as his eyes flitted over the papers in his hand again, "She would've loved it, but with all the work I've been doing lately, this will be a perfect break for me. And you and Logan."
"Logan?" Lynn blinked, already cursing her herself for speaking without thinking. Shit.
"Family Man, Lynn. I'm a husband and a father. That's what they want," Aaron snapped at her slamming the paperwork on the table. His glass of orange juice tipped over. They both ignored it. "He's my son," he finished with a glare, before standing up and leaving.
Slumping back in the chair, Lynn stared out of the huge picture windows at the beautiful sunny Saturday morning, wondering how her life could be so miserable on such a lovely day. She rubbed a hand against her forehead and closed her eyes suddenly feeling very weary. There was no way that Logan would want to spend a long weekend with her and his father, pretending to be The Perfect Family for a magazine. Even to her the idea was abhorrent. She sighed and pushed out of the chair, heading for the kitchen, smiling at Mrs Navarro as she passed her.
"Oh, sorry about the mess today," Lynn apologised softly in advance. The spilled juice had dripped onto the polished marble floor leaving sticky pools of orange pulp for housekeeper to clean up.
"Not a problem, Mrs Echolls," Mrs Navarro answered kindly and efficiently cleared away the breakfast dishes before tackling the spillage. Lynn watched from the shadows of the kitchen, a glass of vodka laced freshly squeezed orange juice now in her hand. She sighed heavily before taking an unhealthy gulp, numb to the burn down her throat, listening to the dull thuds from within the house as Aaron walked around, no doubt looking for Logan.
Her son would laugh in Aaron's face at the very notion of playing Happy Families, especially since the man had taken his car keys away from him the week before as punishment for an incident at school. The beating that quickly followed had been a bad one, and for a while Lynn had been desperately worried for Logan. But her awkward attempts to comfort her son had been quickly rejected. He wouldn't let her near him, tend to him, and even through the dulling effects of vodka, his words still scorched red raw across her heart, "I didn't do it, mom, that fucking bong wasn't even mine. He never listens though... Why? Why, mom? ...I hate him... Just, just leave me alone..."
"Are you alright, Mrs Echolls? Can I get you anything?"
Sucking in a sharp startled breath, Lynn quickly pasted on her practiced smile and nodded. "Oh, oh, no, I'm fine." She put the glass down. "Have you seen Logan this morning?"
"Si, he left early with the Casablancas boys," the housekeeper told her. Ah, surfing then. A look of relief passed over Lynn's face and Mrs Navarro smiled warmly, knowingly, before leaving to resume her duties.
Thank God for small mercies, Lynn sighed. Hopefully she would be able to talk to Logan first before Aaron got a hold of him. Try and persuade him to perform the role of devoted son just for that long weekend... to agree to do this for her.
It was all she could do.
She topped up her drink with vodka and hid the bottle back in the freezer, pulled in a deep breath, stood tall and painted on a smile. Time to face the day.
~VM~VM~VM~VM~VM~VM~
Mars Investigations, Neptune, California...
"I can't believe you conned me into working on a Saturday, dad," Veronica complained with a pout. Keith poked his head around the door of his office and blinked at his daughter.
"Conned you? If I recall correctly, dear daughter, it was a bet," he held up a finger forestalling whatever Veronica was going to interrupt him with, "that I won fair and square."
The junior PI slumped in her seat, yanked her pale green and white striped sweater vest straight again when it bunched up around her waist, and stared at the piles of papers in front of her, all waiting to be neatly filed away. "I still think you cheated," she grumbled.
"Be that as it may... and I didn't cheat, thank you very much," Keith chuckled, "we'll be done by noon if we get cracking. Then I'll buy you ice cream. Deal?"
"Only if you take me to Amy's," Veronica countered, perking up slightly, "And you never dupe me into a game of Trivial Pursuit again!"
Keith dropped another box of files on her desk and nodded. "You're on."
Pulling a face at the mountains of paperwork, Veronica shook her head before picking up the pile she'd already sorted and headed to the filing cabinets. "Where did you get it from anyway? I mean, talk about gaming like it was nineteen eighty four."
"I picked it up at a yard sale," her dad's voice called from his office. "Fun, educational and history all rolled into one, right?"
Stretching the ache from her shoulders, she laughed. Oh, it was fun alright... she thought it was hilarious that her dad preened, yes preened every time he won another wedge. She really shouldn't have made that bet though.
"Oh yeah, definitely educational," she muttered to herself, "Like in that I've learned my lesson well, and that revenge is definitely a huge dish served ice cold and preferably with rainbow sprinkles, crushed Oreos and hot fudge sauce."
"What was that?" Keith shouted.
"Oh, nothing, dad," Veronica called back snickering when she heard her dad mumbling something about loving daughters and sore losers. She smiled fondly and closed the cabinet. One pile done, another mountainous one to go.
A little after eleven, and more than halfway through the heaps of files nearly swamping her desk, the monotonous tedium was interrupted when a woman walked in and smiled a little hesitantly when Veronica looked up.
"Hello, um... I'm sorry, I don't have an appointment," the woman said standing by the small sofa in the outer office.
She was smartly dressed and Veronica pegged her instantly as one of the rich residents of Neptune, likely living in the 90909 zip code. The woman's hair was short and neatly styled, and her designer clothes and accessories (not to mention the jewellery, including a huge rock that adorned her wedding finger) screamed money, and lots of it.
Cheating husband, Veronica immediately deduced, easy pay check.
"Ah, that's okay, if you'll just wait here for a second, Miss..." she stopped, waiting for the woman to finish her name.
"Mrs Abigail Martin."
"Mrs Martin, I'll see if Mr Mars can see you." Veronica smiled and quickly disappeared into her dad's office, "Dad?"
"Yeah, in here," Keith muttered from the recesses of the closet. "You finished already? Because I can find you another box of-"
"Dad, you have a client," Veronica told him.
"What? Was there an appointment today I forgot?"
"No, she's a walk-in." She leaned in close when Keith came out to her, "Hmmm, shall I tell her we're too busy?"
Keith rolled his eyes and straightened his shirt, pulling down his sleeves again. "No, show her in, smarty-pants," he smiled moving papers off the chairs so his client could sit down.
"Mrs Martin, this is Mr Mars," Veronica introduced as she showed the lady into the office. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, thank you," Mrs Martin answered before Keith closed his door leaving Veronica to finish her filing.
Forty minutes later, the woman left and Keith stood leaning against his door frame watching his daughter reading the horoscopes in the daily newspaper.
"Hey, it says here you're coming into some money, and that Pluto and Venus aligning means that love is in the air. Something you wanna tell me, dad?" Veronica said as she lowered the paper and raised an eyebrow at him.
"Yeah, don't read that crap, it'll rot your brain," Keith murmured. He took the newspaper away and gave her an A4 sized manila envelope instead.
"What's this?"
"Surprise."
"Really?" She sniffed it. "Hmm. Doesn't smell like a pony. I know, it's a Get Out Of Working On Saturday's free card for the next year, right?"
"Nope. Better," Keith grinned. Veronica tilted her head to the side before ripping the envelope open. Her eyes nearly bugged.
"Oh my God, is this for real?"
"Yep!"
Inside was a brochure for the Neptune Princess. The small, luxurious cruise ship had two hundred spacious private balcony cabins, six sumptuous first class suites, three restaurants, two pools, and an array of duty free gift shops. With a passenger to crew ratio of four point two to one, and a private butler service for the first class guests, the ship was obviously designed to attract people with money – lots of money. Attached to the brochure were two tickets for the maiden voyage; an expenses paid weekend aboard the lavish liner, courtesy of Mrs Abigail Martin.
Veronica read the details with wide eyes that gradually narrowed with suspicion.
"Okay, what's the catch, huh? Because this looks too good for there not to be a catch," she asked, still grinning like an excited lunatic though and nearly bouncing in her seat as she checked out the tickets, a double cabin with a balcony... meals included... cabaret entertainment...
"It's a job," Keith said. "Mrs Martin wants to know if her husband is cheating on her. He's a partner in the company that owns the cruise line and will be onboard the ship for its maiden voyage."
"Without his wife?" Veronica frowned.
"She's apparently got a charity function she can't get out of."
Veronica put the tickets and brochure down and laced her fingers together, looking up at her father from under her lashes. "Can't?"
"Okay," Keith nodded and handed his daughter a photograph. "Mrs Martin's pretty confident that he's cheating on her and needs proof, or the prenup he signed will become null and void. She thinks this will be the perfect opportunity to catch him up to no good."
"Wow, move over Antonio Banderas," Veronica muttered appreciatively. Mr Martin was hot. "Wait, he signed? So she's the money?"
"Yep."
Wow, it wasn't often they caught a case this lucrative. Being a small PI business, it was usually small time jobs with pay checks that made just enough income for them to make ends meet.
"Why us? Oh wait a minute..." Veronica smiled. Being said small PI business also had its advantages... "Covert and clever."
"You got it, sweetheart," Keith grinned proudly. His daughter was going to make a fine PI one day - if she wanted to, that was. "Who'd suspect us, a vacationing father and daughter, on a boat full of the rich and famous, huh?"
She excitedly picked up the tickets again. "As long as no one from Neptune we know is going to be there."
"That's why I asked for a passenger guest list," Keith told her and disappeared into his office.
"How did you manage to get that? Isn't that supposed to be, like, super top secret and confidential?" she asked clearly impressed.
"I have ways, I have means and I have talent," he announced with a flourish, brandishing a faxed copy of the Neptune Princess passenger list for the upcoming maiden voyage. "Wowsers, I've never seen so many famous names on one list."
"Wowsers?" Veronica grimaced following him. He ignored her running his finger down the names.
"Okay, Mr and Mrs Enbom. You know their son, don't you?"
"John? Yeah, but I've never met his mom and dad." She moved closer to see the list herself. There were a few names she recognised from the TV and magazines, but many she didn't. It didn't really matter anyway. Mr Martin didn't know the Mars', and that was what was important. She found it fascinating that the entire cruise ship was fully booked, including the six prestigious first class suites, complete with their own private deck – two of them reserved by Hello! Magazine!
Oh, to have money, she sighed.
"You know what?" Keith said putting the list down and turning to his daughter. "It doesn't matter if anyone recognises us. We're going on a vacation." He draped his arm around her, "A well earned vacation. And what do vacationers do?"
"Take pictures," they both finished together.
"That's my girl!" he smiled and hugged her. "Let's say we ditch the rest of the filing and celebrate, huh? Ice cream?"
"I'm already there, pops!" she laughed and grabbed her bag.
~VM~VM~VM~VM~VM~VM~
It was almost dark when Logan finally returned home, and Lynn stood by the window and watched him laugh at something Dick Casablancas said, before jumping out of the truck and grabbing his surf board from the back. His whole demeanour was loose and easy and Lynn smiled. It was good to see her son happy, it was a rare thing.
But as soon as Dick's truck disappeared down the long drive and out of view, the easy way Logan appeared suddenly changed. Lynn closed her eyes quickly trying to preserve the image of her son laughing so carefree in her mind. She didn't want to see the slumped shoulders, the loneliness that radiated off him. She couldn't bear to see the pain and sadness in his eyes that she often saw when Logan thought no one was looking.
For all his macho image, making the world believe that he was untouchable, that he cared about nothing and no one, Lynn knew her son was still just a boy, scared and alone, his young life already damaged and marred by tragedy, and she hated herself that she couldn't give him the comfort and protection he so desperately needed and craved. Closing her eyes just made it easier to deny it was happening, made it easier to live with the guilt. She loved her son...
...But she was scared too.
Lynn knew she was weak, trapped in a loveless, mentally abusive marriage to a man who could be so cruel that her only moments of peace were found at the bottom of a bottle of alcohol, and with the little white pills she popped like candy. She knew that one day Aaron would go too far and really hurt Logan, and she would be powerless to stop it.
Powerless and weak.
What kind of a mother did that make her?
But for all her faults, Logan still loved her unconditionally.
Downing the glass of whiskey-sour she had in one swallow, Lynn made her way to the pool house where Logan had retreated to. She knew Aaron was in his study; making movie deals, having phone sex, she really didn't care, and took the opportunity to try and talk Logan into agreeing to the cruise.
"Oh... Hey mom, you okay?"
Logan's step faltered for a second when he came out of the bathroom and saw his mom standing in the room. He'd just finished showering and the navy blue towel hung snugly around his narrow hips. Lynn smiled and nodded.
"You had a good day today?" she asked sucking in a soft distressed breath when Logan turned around to grab a shirt from the closet. The bruised welts on his back were still livid, each slash mark scoring her soul. How many had Aaron inflicted on Logan the week before? Fifteen? Twenty?
Lynn remembered losing count, her mascara quickly streaking down her cheeks in ugly black self-loathing shameful tears as she felt anger towards Logan for giving Aaron yet another reason to beat him. It was wrong of her to think that, and she knew it, but she couldn't help herself. The older Logan got, the worse the abuse had become. It was like Logan had just given up, like he expected the beatings no matter what he did, so he went out of his way to antagonise his father to at least deserve the punishments, and Aaron made sure his son paid dearly for that. Lynn honestly didn't know how much more of it she could take.
She looked up when Logan turned and stood still, his eyes averted as he slowly put the shirt on, pushing his arms through the long sleeves, pulling the material down over his body, hiding the evidence.
"Logan-"
"Don't, mom," Logan murmured softly yanking on a pair of board shorts before taking his towel off. He sat down on the bed and rubbed his fingers through his hair, sticking it up in all directions.
Sitting beside him, Lynn reached over and gently smoothed his hair back down with a soft smile. Logan pulled a face but let her do it, leaning in to her touch slightly. She lowered her hand when she'd done and looked at him.
"What?" Logan asked curiously, his eyes narrowing. The small smile that had played on his lips fell away.
"Logan, I need you to do me a favour, sweetheart," Lynn answered. She pushed her hair behind her ear and took his hand. Logan curled his fingers around hers. He could smell the whiskey on her breath and frowned anxiously.
"Mom, are you alright? Did dad-"
"No, no, darling, I'm fine," she promised, deciding to quickly tell Logan about the Hello! Magazine feature before he started wondering the worst. "Your father has been asked to do a feature for a magazine about his work and family life, and they've booked suites for us aboard a cruise ship next month."
For a long moment Logan just sat there staring at his mom, and then he burst out laughing. The sound was so different from earlier, this time it was brittle and hostile.
"You've got to be kidding me," he shook his head as it suddenly became clear. "You want me to play happy families with him? Smile sweetly for the camera's and tell the world what a wonderful caring father I've got? Buy him a World's Greatest Dad tee shirt from the fucking gift shop?"
"Logan, please," Lynn sighed watching her son jump up and back away from her.
"No way, mom," he hissed. "Have you forgotten that he beat the shit out of me last week for something I didn't even fucking do?" Logan scrubbed his fingers through his hair in irritation. "I passed the drug tests, and he still doesn't believe me. Even when the so called evidence disappeared and the charges were dropped, my loving father-" he air quoted mockingly, "still won't give me my car back and hasn't talked to me in days!"
By the time he'd finished, Logan was shouting, frustration and hatred clear in his voice, but Lynn couldn't give up... for her son's sake, for her own sake. Aaron would get his way, even if it meant another beating. He'd make Logan do it.
"Do it for me, Logan," she tried. "Please. It's only three nights, just one long weekend, and the ship is big enough for you to disappear when you're not needed for the cameras."
A look of pure contempt crossed Logan's face at the thought of being photographed with his father, immortalised in print with the man that systematically abused him on a regular basis. Aaron Echolls; loving father? What a fucking joke.
Dragging a hand through his hair again, Logan blew out a breath and sat down on the bed. Lynn automatically placed her palm on his back and tried to comfort him, immediately regretting it when Logan flinched at the contact. She curled her fingers into a fist and lowered her eyes.
"Please, Logan."
"I hate him, mom," Logan admitted softly. "I can't do it. I'm sorry."
But he knew he could. He was the son of two award winning actors, and he knew he could play the part flawlessly, just like he played the role of Logan Echolls; Psychotic Jackass, every day at school. It was just as easy to portray the loving son to multi-millionaire, Oscar winning actor and perfect father, Aaron Echolls, as it was hiding the pain and misery he felt his every waking moment behind an arrogant veneer.
And his mom knew he could do it too. And would.
"Thank you, sweetheart," Lynn whispered. Logan simply nodded. A moment later, Aaron's voice cut sharply into the silence.
Looking up, Logan squared his shoulders, schooled his face into an expression so impassive that it scared Lynn, and left her sitting alone in the pool house. She stood and headed straight for the liquor cabinet.
-vm-
"Ah, Logan, good," Aaron nodded and beckoned his son to enter his study. He leaned back against the desk smoking one of his Cuban cigars, and watched as Logan walked in and stopped a few feet in front of him.
"You bellowed?"
A brief irritated look flashed over Aaron's face, quickly hidden again behind a mask of 'loving dad'. Logan unconsciously tugged his sleeves down over his hands and held his ground, waiting to find out what his father had to say... like he didn't already know, he thought bitterly.
"Next month we're all going to spend a long weekend together. You, me and your mother. A nice family vacation," Aaron smiled brightly, like he expected Logan to start jumping up and down in excitement. Like hell! Instead, Logan, having cynicism and contempt for his father literally beaten into him, just chuckled snidely and looked away.
The smile quickly fell off Aaron's face and his mouth twisted into an ugly scowl. "Hey! This is a cruise aboard the Neptune Princess, you ungrateful brat. Not that you deserve it, but you are going, son, and you will not embarrass me. Is. That. Clear?" he barked sternly, waiting for an answer.
God! Like he fucking cared! Logan had never even heard of the Neptune Princess... didn't know anything about it, didn't want to know, and certainly didn't want to spend a whole weekend pretending to be the perfect fucking family for some stupid bullshit magazine feature.
But he also knew he didn't have a choice.
Snapping his eyes back, Logan sucked in a quick breath and smirked sardonically, "Well, if I'm going to be playing Greg Brady, I'm going to need my car back, daddy."
It was a gamble, but if Aaron wanted Logan to act the part of wonderful loving son for the cruise, he wasn't doing it for nothing.
Aaron, on the other hand, obviously thought otherwise and pushed off his desk with a jolt. "You arrogant shit-"
"I'm just saying," Logan stepped back, his eyes warily watching the cigar Aaron was pointing at him. "Wouldn't look too good to your adoring fans if your textbook-perfect kid had to ride the public transport because he'd had his car taken away for being such a naughty boy, huh? Rumours could start, reputations tainted..."
Pain blossomed and the familiar metallic taste of blood filled Logan's mouth as Aaron backhanded him in a move that took Logan completely off guard. He stumbled unsteadily, too late to stop his father from roughly twisting his arm behind his back.
"You threatening me, son?" Aaron hissed in Logan's ear, twisting a little more. Logan grit his teeth determined not to cry out and give the bastard the satisfaction of knowing how much he was hurting him.
An anguished gasp caught their attention, and Logan and his father both looked towards the door to see Lynn staring at them, angry tears in her eyes.
Aaron let go of his son and straightened his posture, casually smiling at his wife. "Hey, Lynn. I was just telling Logan about the cruise next month."
Lynn swallowed and looked down at Logan slowly pulling himself up from the floor, blood painting his lips, a red bruise already colouring his cheek.
"Logan. Here," Aaron said moving to his desk. He opened the drawer and pulled out a set of keys, tossing them across the room. Logan caught them. His car keys. "If I ever find out you've been doing drugs again, son, I won't be so lenient next time. Understood?"
Logan just nodded. It was pointless repeating to his dad that he'd never smoked marijuana, that the bong they'd found in his locker wasn't even his, that he'd been set up, that there would never be a next time.
"Make sure you clear your calendar for the cruise weekend," his father ordered before he silently dismissed his son. Logan walked out of the study and past his mom without saying a word. His arm hurt and his face smarted, and he just wanted to disappear and seethe.
Fuck his father, fuck his perfect little happy family, and fuck life.
He headed to the pool house, changed into a pair of cargo pants, and pulled on his sneakers before yanking open the bedside drawer. Logan stared at the screw driver lying innocently in the bottom, and a memory flashed in his mind from a lifetime ago.
"Hey, that is genius, lover," Lilly grinned as she watched Logan unscrew the air vent and take out the keys to the liquor cabinet.
"Of course," Logan smirked back. He unlocked the door and pulled two bottles of alcohol out. "Cherry Vodka or Tequila?"
Lilly crawled across the bed and grinned, "How about both?"
"Hmmm," Logan lifted an eyebrow, "Could be a recipe for the worst hangover in human history..."
"Maybe," Lilly smiled, kneeling up and slipping one stringy strap of her sun top slowly down her arm. Logan licked his lips, his eyes tracking her every move, and then Lilly screamed, laughing as her boyfriend tackled her down on the bed with the murmured promise of "both it is then..."
Blinking away the tears, Logan picked up the screw driver and headed to the vent. Within minutes he was speeding out of the Echolls Family estate gates and driving as far away as he could get, a bottle of his father's thirty year old Macallan single malt scotch resting on the seat beside him.
He ended up at Dog Beach, parked his car in the dimly lit parking lot, and, with the bottle held tight in his grip, made his way to a small outcrop of rocks near the water's edge. He sat for a while just staring at the ocean, watching the placid play of ripples illuminated in the blackness by the glow of the full moon, and listening to the waves hissing softly against the sand. For Logan, the beach had always been an escape, a safe haven for him when his life was too much to bear. When he floated on his surf board, so far away from the shore he could almost imagine being right at the edge of the ocean, it was if he was hidden from the world where no one could find him... where his father couldn't find him. Out there, he was a tiny smudge in the deep blue, and Logan felt protected from his pain and fear by the vast body of water, mysterious and powerful... He felt free and the gentle sounds of the ocean comforted him like a warm blanket.
Resting his head on his knees, Logan closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, the fresh salty air making his lips tingle slightly. He licked them before adding the taste of whiskey, swallowing down the burn.
The alcohol had washed away the tang of blood a long time ago, and Logan was feeling numb to any pain at all, but the emptiness still consumed him, leaving a hole shaped of the life he once had before... before he'd lost it all.
No, that wasn't entirely true. He'd lost Lilly, the love of his life, the only reason that made his living hell tolerable.
Everyone else, Logan deliberately forced away with his anger and bitterness, alienating the few people that mattered to him with cruel insults and nasty jibes in a perverse attempt to make them as miserable as he was, all so that he could feel okay with himself, make him feel like he wasn't losing himself in the grief that constantly threatened to swallow him whole.
His reputation of psychotic jackass had been well earned.
Oh, he still had 'followers', after all he was Logan Echolls, son of Hollywood movie star, Aaron Echolls, but that was as far as his status went. People only wanted to know him for his name. Dubbed the King of the 09ers at Neptune High, Logan still felt alone. Even Duncan, once the boy he could count on when things got too much at home, the boy he called his best buddy, had changed into something resembling a shadow of his former self, emotionally hollow and merely drifting through the days.
The one person Logan had focused all his rage at though, was perversely the one person he often found himself watching, drawn to with a deep seeded gravitational need he couldn't control.
She was once one of his closest friends, back when the Fab Four ruled the school.
Veronica Mars.
Logan took another drink and sighed. He hated himself for what he'd done to Veronica. After she'd taken her dad's side when he'd accused Lilly's father of her murder, Logan had led the campaign to ostracise her, making her the pariah of Neptune High by spreading vicious rumours about her, and making her life utterly miserable. Logan understood all too well how Veronica felt, what it was like to be an outcast, but even when he'd seen her crying silently to herself he hadn't stopped, he'd just hated himself even more instead.
He'd seen Veronica over the summer, often secretly watching her as she walked her dog along the beach, and he remembered being shocked to see her at Shelly Pomroy's end of year party, obviously trying to show everyone that their whispers and backstabbing didn't affect her, and Logan had admired her courage for a moment. But that didn't stop him acting like a jackass and using her as a salt lick, taking advantage of her when Veronica was clearly so drunk she couldn't even stand.
Duncan had come to her rescue then, if he remembered rightly. Her fucking knight in shining armour. Not that he cared.
When she turned up at school shortly after the party, she was very different, and a part of Logan quietly mourned the loss of the Veronica he used to know. Gone was the sweetness, innocence, she wasn't that girl anymore. She was sharp edges now, cynical, distrustful.
But he'd done that to her. Finally broken her. He'd made her like that through his taunts, his cruel teasing, the pure hatred he'd directed solely at her until she'd hated him right back.
He didn't care though. Right?
He blamed her for Lilly's death, felt betrayed by what she'd done. If Veronica had kept her mouth shut and not told Lilly about that fucking kiss, then they wouldn't have broken up that week. He would've been with Lilly when-
Logan rubbed an unsteady hand across his face and blew out a breath. No... He didn't just blame Veronica though, he also blamed himself for being stupid, and blamed Lilly for being a bitch, but that was his last memory of her and it hurt so much he just wanted to die, too.
So, no, he didn't care.
With the wind licking gently at his shirt and whispering through his hair, the whiskey nearly finished, Logan could feel the lulling effects of the alcohol trying to pull him into the depressive haze of drunken oblivion, and trying not to really think about whatever nightmares waited for him on the other side, he leaned back on the rocks, closed his eyes and disappeared into the darkness.
When the screeching squawks of the seagulls woke him early the next morning, the first thing Logan remembered was his father and that stupid family vacation, and his head started pounding. He gingerly sat up, ignoring the ache in his body from sleeping on the rocks, and rubbed his temples, trying to focus his eyes and shielding the early morning sun from burning holes through his retinas. His mouth tasted like sour grit and he moaned pitifully when nausea rose in his throat and his stomach rolled.
It was a great start to the day. Fitting, really, he thought morbidly to himself before staggering to his feet and stumbling back to the parking lot. He unlocked his car and climbed in, starting his engine. Maybe he could get home before his parents were up, grab his surf gear and disappear for the day again, and try not to think about having to spend an entire weekend stuck on a boat, pretending to be happy with the man he hated most in his life.
Just as he shifted the X-Terra into gear, he saw her, and he pushed the stick shift back into park. She was walking her dog along the shore, throwing a stick and laughing when the dog raced to fetch it back. The sun shone down on her, making her blonde hair glitter like gold and Logan just sat and watched.
Veronica looked happy.
It was something Logan had missed, seeing her laugh and smile. It reminded him of that life before, and his heart ached just a little when he thought of Lilly. But then he remembered the last week, his father's face when he walked into the police station. Remembered the burning agony each time the belt whipped against his skin, and the words that stung even more, "You're a disgrace, Logan... an embarrassment to me... worthless...pathetic..."
And remembered that it was her fault he'd been busted with a trumped up drugs possession charge. It was her fault that his father had beaten him for it, and then taken his car away for a week.
Yanking the gear into drive again, Logan peeled out of the car park without looking back.