Scars 21 Jumpstreet
It 's December, and Hanson is grateful. Not only does he love the winter, but also it's an excuse to wear sleeves, without people questioning him. He wears sleeves regardless of how others comment. It was late at the chapel, and he was alone finishing up a report. Fuller wanted it tomorrow morning, and Hanson new he'd be in trouble if he didn't give it to him. He took another sip of his coffee. The only light that was on was a dim lamp between his and Doug's desk. Doug. Hanson loved Doug, he was his best friend. He told him everything. Except about his scars. That was a problem he kept to himself. Hanson hardly saw it as a problem. It was just how he coped. But, somewhere inside, he new it wasn't right. His jacket was off and he was in his plain black T-shirt. He sighed heavily looking at the report. He hadn't realized someone had walked in.
Booker was standing beside him. "Hey Tom, Wanna get some beers?"
Dennis wasn't aware of his arm, that was covered in new cuts, faded scars, newly healed scars. Then he saw it. The word "Worthless" carved into his arm caught his attention.
"Tommy."
Tom put his head down. He was ashamed. He had always been ashamed of his addiction.
But he was most ashamed that it was Booker who saw his scars.
Tom has felt feelings of intimate love towards Dennis for about a month. He was ashamed that the person he loved so dearly had seen them. Had seen him at his weakest. Dennis didn't react. He just stood there, stoic. He wasn't sure if he should comment, or if he should let it go. He accepted it either way.
The period of silence between the two was awkward. Finally Hanson responded.
"Yeah, that would be great."
Hanson finally broke. Pouring his soul into Dennis, just by looking into his eyes.
I'll Be The Wings That Keeps Your Heart In The Clouds 21 Jumpstreet
Hanson was bored at his desk, twisting a black pen in his fingers. Booker couldn't stop staring at him. Dennis hated to admit it, but he was in love with Tom.
He was so scared though, because he hated being in love. He hated feeling any emotion like that. He could get laid by a pretty girl and that would be enough. But after meeting Hanson, it wasn't. He realized the only one he wanted to wake up next to was Hanson. And Booker hated the fact that Tom made him so fucking crazy.
But it wasn't Tom's fault. It is, but he didn't mean to seduce Dennis. Or did he?
Dennis liked to be secretive with his small hints of love towards another. He pulled out a piece of paper from his desk and wrote in his neatest hand writing:
I'll be the wings that keeps your heart in the clouds.
He folded it up, and walked outside for a smoke. He saw Tom's mustang, and put it in the crack of the window on the door, and the roof.
He didn't care how confused it made Hanson, he just needed to show him love somewhere.
Miserable At Best 21 Jumpstreet
Hanson was Miserable at best without Dennis. Dennis was Miserable at best without Tom. Every one knew it except each other. Until finally, Tom couldn't take Bookers grin. He walked over to Dennis's desk and dragged him outside.
"Tom?"
Hanson silenced him with his lips. The kiss was soft. Tom liked the taste of Dennis's mouth, a mixture of liquor, mint, and himself. Dennis moaned with pleasure, and Hanson deepened the kiss. But Dennis hated not being in control, so he pushed Hanson up against the brick wall, to let him know he was in charge. Hanson's fingers were lost in Bookers hair.
Without each other, they were Miserable at best.
Take This Heart 21 Jumpstreet
"I don't care anymore" Booker finally sobbed. "I don't give a fuck. You can have my heart. You can break it, you can do whatever you want. I don't care anymore." Booker cried into Toms arms.
"Dennis," Tom soothed. "Love, I want to take your heart, and be the glue that holds together all the broken pieces."
Still Breathing 21 Jumpstreet
"Are you alive?" Dennis questioned into his lovers ear. They were alone in bed. Holding each other. Tom was going over the deep end. He couldn't take this pain anymore. He didn't know what to do. He was hopeless, yet hoping his lungs wouldn't fill him. There are so many ways you could die, and Hanson had thought of every last one of them.
Dennis twisted Tom's hair through his fingers, holding his lover tight to him. Tom loved to just listen to Dennis's heart beat. Dennis was the only reason he was still breathing. The only reason he was still alive. Tom couldn't leave Dennis that would be selfish of him. But sometimes he just wished he didn't have to live anymore.
But Dennis made living all better.
"Yeah." Hanson responded to the question. "I'm still breathing."
Bruised and Scarred 21 Jumpstreet
Dennis's heart was bruised and scarred. From many things: His father leaving, his mother not forgiving him for his sexual preferences, past relationships. Even though Dennis put on a tough front, he was bruised and scarred on the inside. Bleeding on the inside, screaming for someone to help him.
And only one person could. Tom Hanson. Tom Hanson, his lover at home, his friend on duty, and sometimes his brother at school. Tom was the only one keeping Dennis together, but he refused to admit it. He refused to tell anyone that he wasn't capable of gluing himself together, of not breaking apart on his own. Dennis was strong, but he wasn't strong enough for everything. He kept everything bottled up, and numbed all the pain through drinking. Through driving to nowhere.
And Hanson was the only one who knew how Bruised and Scarred his lover really was.
And Dennis feared that Tom was the only one who would accept it. But it didn't matter.
Tom's acceptance was the only one he needed.
The End 21 Jumpstreet
"Good bye." Said Hanson putting the gun in his mouth. Dennis was gone. And it was his fault. All of it was his fault
He should have been there!
He should have protected his partner, his lover.
But no, he had remained frozen.
He didn't even move, until he began CPR.
But it was too late. His lover was dead.
We tried to fight for what we believed in
Maybe it was all for nothing
It is all for nothing. Were going to die anyways. And all Hanson could think was one of the only people that mattered to him was gone. Death surrounded him all around. His father, his mother, and now his boyfriend. Life was too much to grasp. He had made it to the end.
So we drive
Cuz we like to be alone
There's no where else to go
There's no where for us to go
How can you think that any of this was easy?
With all the friends I lost along the way
When this is over
Where all getting older now
And innocence is foreign
Can you hear them calling out
That I'll be by your side until the end
Well it was the end for Dennis Booker.
And now the end for Tom Hanson.
** Boom **
When I Get Home You're So Dead 21 Jumpstreet
"Hey Love, how's Alaska?" asked Dennis through the phone. Tom was with his mother and her new boyfriend in Alaska. Mrs. Hanson wanted him to come along so him and the new boyfriend, Donald, could bond.
"It's cold." Tom said shivering.
"Well when you get home I promise I can fix that."
"I hope so. But I mean it's really cold."
"Well I know how to get you really hot."
Dennis could almost feel Tom's smile through the phone.
"Tom I got a surprise for you when you get home."
"Oh god. What did you do?"
"I'm not telling."
"What? That's not fair."
"Sure it is" said Dennis smirking, regardless of if Tom could see.
"Can I guess?"
"Sure, But no hints, you're on your own."
Hanson thought for a moment.
"Did you move into my place?"
"Nope. Not yet anyways."
"I don't know Dennis come on tell me!" Hanson whined.
"I got you a cat."
"You got me a cat?"
"Yep."
"Dennis."
"Yeah?"
"When I get home you're so fucking dead."
The Last Something That Meant Anything 21 Jumpstreet
Hanson was always the one in Bookers arms. But he wanted it to be the other way around once in a while. He wanted to be the one to hold Dennis, to protect him. He was always the one being protected.
He was always the one who would say I love you. He knew Dennis loved him, but he was too afraid to say it. But Tom understood. We all have our fears.
The Silence 21 Jumpstreet
Dennis was alone on the roof of the chapel. He was staring up at the stars. It wasn't silent, but he was away from reality. It was a way to silence his brain, to stare up at the stars. There was one star he could always spot out. He didn't know what constellation it was apart of, if apart of one. But he loved that was the star Tommy had shown him, He said if he was ever feeling alone, he could look at it, and he'd be looking at it too. Dennis new Hanson was looking at it. So badly did Dennis want to tell Tom that he loved him. That he wanted to marry him. But he was scared. Suddenly someone wrapped their arms around Dennis. He was tense, until he realized it was Tom.
"Were you looking at the star?" He asked his head on his shoulder.
"Yeah." Dennis responded. "I missed you."
Dennis held Tom's hand tight. Tom snuggled close to him, and they stared at the star together, in silence.
Just Say You're Not Into It 21 Jumpstreet
"Hanson!" Yelled Fuller. Hanson looked up from his report, and walked into Captain Adam Fuller's office. "Yeah coach, what's up?" he asked. Then he noticed, Dennis and Council Man Davis were in the room. "Sit down Tom." Said his captain carefully. He sat on the couch next to his lover, Dennis Booker. It was silent for a few moments.
"Council Man Davis needs to tell you guys something." Said Fuller softly.
"Well that's evident." Said Dennis.
The councilman smirked.
"This is short and simple. If you want to keep your badges." He said pointing his fingers at Tom and Booker. "The relationship between you two needs to end here and now."
Dennis tensed after those words escaped the council mans mouth. He was going to do anything to dismantle the Jump Street program.
"Wow." Tom said coldly.
Dennis looked at Tom. What else was there to lose? He grabbed Toms face and kissed him, hard. Running his fingers through his hair. He wanted to piss Davis off as much as he could for saying that. That isn't a rule. After a few moments Dennis pulled away. "Just say you're not into it." Said Dennis, smirking. Tom got up, patted the council man on the shoulder, and left the room. He looked back quickly to see the frozen expression on Davis's face, and the proud one on Fuller. Booker laughed while walking next to him.
They finally gave the Council Man what he needed.
Terrible Things 21 Jumpstreet
Life is a terrible thing. Tom hated life. He hated the fact that he couldn't have Dennis. He loved Dennis so much. He loved him more then life itself. Words couldn't describe how much he cared for Dennis. How much he loved him. He would give his life for Dennis Booker. Without Dennis, his life was meaningless.
He had always been there for Dennis. Whether it had been listening to him talk about a case, or if he needed a couch to crash on, Tom was there. He would always be there for Dennis, even if the favors weren't returned. It didn't matter. He was there for Dennis, all the way, because he loved him. He always had, even if he didn't notice at first, Dennis Booker was the one for Tommy Hanson. Dennis was Tom's one and only love.
Three Cheers for Five Years 21 Jumpstreet
Even though Tom and Booker couldn't get married legally, they decided to have their own ceremony. Their family and friends were all there. Since they were looking older, they now went undercover in College. But today was their Five-year anniversary.
"I love you." Said Hanson, his head on Dennis's chest. He was in his strong arms. Dennis kissed his forehead. "I love you too Tommy."
Hanson sat up and kissed Dennis softly. He wrapped his arms around him. Dennis let out a mumbled moan. His hands were lost in Tom's hair. It was a battle of teeth and tongue. And Dennis was winning. But Tom was used to it. He kinda liked it. Tom rubbed his hands all over Dennis's chest, tracing over the lines of his muscles. Hanson moved from his lips to his neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin lightly. He moved his nose over his collarbone, until he did the same to the other side of his neck. Dennis held Tom tight in his arms.
"I love you so much Tommy."
"I love you too. More then you could understand."
Dennis smiled and held Tom close to him.
You Had Me At Hello 21 Jumpstreet
Dennis Booker refused to ever admit that he loved Tom Hanson from the moment he laid eyes on him. That he was happy when Tom punched him in the gut after he sat in the electric chair, because he was paying attention to him. That's all he wanted, was Tom's attention. Even when he was accused of rape, he knew Tom had good intentions. He wanted to solve the rape. And Booker did make it look like he had done it. Dennis never would have for a second thought that Tommy was gay let alone into him. But it didn't matter, that was the past. Tom was his now. Dennis could hold Tom, kiss him, and love him. He has Tom now, but Tom had him at hello.
Anywhere But Here 21 Jumpstreet
"Captain why'd we have to take a road trip?" asked Ioki.
Fuller smiled at Ioki's frustration. "Because, it's fun to spend time with you guys."
"I like road trips," Tom threw in. They were riding in a white Van they had rented. All of them were there, Hanson, Booker, Judy, Ioki, Penhall, Fuller, and even Blowfish.
"Please Tom, it's only because your boyfriend has been sleeping on your shoulder for the past 200 miles." Said Penhall. Hanson smirked at the comment, then rubbed his hand through Dennis's hair.
"Where are we going anyways captain?" Judy asked.
"Come on guys, you'll see." Said Adam.
"Hey captain, you think we could make a pit stop, I gotta go." Yelled Blowfish.
"Next gas station isn't for 50 miles." Said Tom.
"Hey, I'm a maintenance engineer, I can pee outside."
Fuller pulled over to the side of the road. "Alright, if you gotta go to the bathroom go now." He said. Hanson shook Booker, waking him up. "You gotta make a pit stop?" he asked his lover quietly. "No," Dennis yawned, his eyes still closed snuggling closer to Tom. Tom put his arm around him. Judy made an 'aw that's so cute' face. Hanson hadn't noticed though, because his eyes were fixed on his lover. He was so grateful for the acceptance his friends, and captain, had on their relationship. They treated it the same way they treated his with Jackie, and Amy.
Everyone piled back in and they were back to driving. Hanson rested his head on Dennis's and grabbed his hand and held it tight. It was strange, because Dennis wasn't the type who would be seen snuggling with his boyfriend. But when he was with Tom, it was different. It didn't matter.
After four hours, Fuller stopped the van. Booker shook Hanson, waking him. "Where here." He whispered.
Hanson looked out the window. "What are we sleeping in tree's or something?"
"Were camping." Said Fuller proudly.
"Oh come on cap. Camping?" Penhall said alarmed.
"It's actually really fun." Said Harry.
"Oh come on coach. Please, anywhere but here! Somewhere with indoor plumbing." Complained Hanson.
"I think it'll be fun." Mumbled Booker. Tom sighed heavily into Dennis's chest.
"Oh come on Tommy, I wont let no bears get you." He said kissing his forehead.
"I'm not afraid of bears. I'm afraid of what will happen to this group away from society." He said apathetically.
"Oh captain please anywhere but here!" said Judy.
"Start unloading gang. I think it would be fun to see you guys in the wilderness for a week."
Between You and I 21 Jumpstreet
Judy sat next to Harry at his desk working on a report with him. "After the gun was pulled. Officer Hoffs pulled her own, identifying herself as a police officer." Ioki thought aloud.
"Judy." Said Harry. She was looking distantly at Booker and Hanson, rather through Booker and Hanson.
"Judy" repeated Harry, shaking her.
"What, what?" she said blinking.
"What were you looking at?"
"Harry can I tell you something?"
"Yeah what's up?"
"I think Dennis and Tom have a thing with each other."
"What do you mean by thing?" he asked carefully.
"Like in a relationship. And if not they would be really cute."
"What? Aren't they both straight?"
"Ioki. Really? Hanson may have a pretty boy face. But, he isn't totally straight."
Harry nodded.
"Between you and I" she said starting a story. "I over heard them talking about a night that they were drunk together. The way they were describing it like they were totally wasted. Anyways, Booker kissed Hanson, and Hanson had kissed him back."
Ioki raised an eyebrow. "Whatever floats their boat." He said going back to work.
"They look good. They'd be good for eachother." She said turning back to the report.
"Just keep this between you and I." she added.
Better Off This Way 21 Jumpstreet
"Please don't leave." Hanson pleaded. He was crying, harder then he ever did. He was holding on to Dennis. "I'm sorry," was Dennis's only reply. He couldn't be here, in this city. This state, this country. This world. He had to get away, to a new start.
"Dennis, you cant leave." Hanson sobbed.
"Why?" he snapped.
"Because I love you!"
"Hanson, it's better this way." Tom couldn't remember the last time his lover called him by his last name, and it stung, because it meant that Dennis Booker didn't love him anymore.
"What was I your toy?" he snapped out of pain.
"No. Tommy, don't cry." Dennis was becoming sympathetic with Tom's pain. No matter how much it hurt, he couldn't leave watching his lover in this pain. Tom fell to the floor cupping his face in agony. He was mumbling something that Dennis couldn't understand. Dennis dropped his duffle bad to the floor, and crouched next to Tommy.
"Tommy look at me." He said putting his hand on his back.
Tom looked up at him.
"I love you. I would die for you. But it's better this way. Better for me to leave you."
Tom shook his head, more tears coming from the words that were helplessly floating in the dying air.
"Please don't leave me." Tom said, hyperventilating. Dennis picked up Tom's face, and wiped away his tears with his thumb.
"I love you Tommy, and this is why I need to do this."
Tom stared into Dennis's eyes. Dennis was scared. He was scared because he was so deeply in love with Tom. And being over whelmed with that kind of emotion scared him, so he would sabotage in any way to make it go away.
"Your feelings for me wont go away if you run away from them" Tom said softly.
"Its over whelming." Dennis expressed sitting next to Tom on the floor. He crossed his legs, sitting Indian style. Hanson laid his head on his lap and looked up to him. "Dennis I love you, don't leave me like this. Please."
Dennis looked at him, the pain in Tom's eyes. He couldn't bare to see the one he loved in so much pain, especially if it was because it was from him. He hesitated, then replied "Okay."
Dennis was staying with Tom. And Tom's tears, agony, and pain all stopped. He sat up, taking Booker into a long bear hug. "I love you, man." He whispered into Booker's ear.
"I love you too Tommy."
Once he pulled away, Dennis cupped Tom's face, and brought his lips to his own. It was soft, filled with love, and pain. Dennis could never leave Tom.
What had he been thinking?
Vodka On An Empty Stomach 21 Jumpstreet
Tom Hanson and Dennis Booker were two drunken men, about to reveal a different side to each other. Hanson couldn't take it anymore and before Dennis had time to protest, right there Hanson kissed him. Tom hadn't been thinking, and he hadn't cared. They were drunk, both on vacation, and both at an apartment. Whose was irrelevant at the moment, because as Tom was about to pull away, Dennis pulled him closer, almost begging for Tom. Tom pulled Dennis over so he was on top of him, lying on the floor, He let his tongue explore the inside of Dennis's mouth. They were moving to the rhythm of the song playing. Dennis could feel his erection coming and couldn't take it anymore. He twisted Tom over, so he was on top. He smiled at Tommy devilishly. "I knew you weren't straight" Tom breathed.
"Well, I knew pretty boy Hanson here couldn't be either."
"So I guess were going steady?"
"I guess so" Dennis said, biting the side of Tom's neck.
"Well then, as your boyfriend." He said grabbing onto Dennis's belt. "Might I suggest we undo this," he said unbuckling the belt. "And this" he continued unbuttoning Dennis's tight black jeans. "Do it Tommy, now. Please!"
Tommy liked to play with Dennis like this, so he moved as slowly as possible grasping the member. After a few moans of pain, Tom blew Dennis, and let his seed spill all over Tom's shirt.
"Gotta take this off." Said Dennis seductively pulling of Tom's shirt.
"Are we moving too fast?" Tom asked suddenly insecure.
"Tommy, what do you expect from two sexy gay men, with vodka on an empty stomach?"
Tom smiled. He lunged onto Dennis, holding his head in his arms kissing his forehead. "Tom, no one finds out about this yet" Dennis breathed into Toms ear, sitting up. Tom looked at him, but nodded in agreement.
"I mean, just with Davis and all"
"What I feel for you is not a political statement. Its human emotion, and if he has a problem with it he can kiss my ass."
"No," said Dennis flipping on to Tom, laying on his chest. "That's my job." He said kissing up his neck. Tom moaned with pleasure.
The Price We Pay 21 Jumpstreet
"Booker!" yelled Hanson. Work was the only place Tom would call his lover by his last name. People wouldn't get suspicious. They two men both agreed it was best to keep their love a secret. Not necessarily because they don't trust their co workers, their friends, but because they don't trust the department. Dennis sat on Tom's rather neatly organized desk. "Yeah what's up?"
"I need your John Hancock" he said passing him a pen and paper. Dennis signed the report.
Hanson looked sadly at the pile of paperwork he had. "I think I might have to cancel tonight. I might be home late too." He said quietly.
"You've stayed late every night this week." Dennis argued quietly.
"It's only Monday" Tom said looking up at him confused.
"Exactly."
"Come on, just tonight. I'll finish all this up. Be home before midnight."
"Or I could stay with you."
Tom thought about this for a moment. "Don't think it could hurt." He said smiling at his partner.
"Look at us, look at the price we pay, just to be together."
Tom looked up at him, with a shut up expression.
"See what I mean?" he said.
Happy Endings Are Stories That Haven't Ended Yet 21 Jumpstreet
Dennis grabbed Tom's hand, and Tom looked at him confused. They were at work; this wasn't like him, to be sensual towards Tom around other people. Tom looked at him. Dennis's eyes were soft, as if he was scared. "You okay?" Tom asked Dennis quietly. Dennis shook his head, and he could have sworn he saw a tear fall from Dennis's eye. Tom let go of Dennis's hand, and followed him outside, down to the side of the building. No one was around. Tom looked into Dennis's eyes and saw a river of tears that had formed on Dennis's cheek. Tom grabbed the man, and held him tight. His arms were wrapped around his back, his neck. His hands tangled in his hair.
Dennis's hands were limp around Tom, he was sobbing.
"Dennis, it's okay" Tom soothed. But how could it be okay, if he didn't even know what was wrong?
He kissed the top of Booker's forehead, and left his lips there, letting Dennis know he was there. Tom could feel other tears that were falling into puddles on his shoulder. "Babe, what's wrong?"
Dennis was silent. He gripped Tom closer to him.
"Dennis" he pushed.
"My mother" he managed.
Tom's hands were still wrapped around in Dennis's hair, trying to sooth him. "What about your mom?" he asked carefully.
"She's dead" Dennis said bluntly.
This time it was Tom who pulled Dennis closer. Who held him tight as his crying was picking up. "Shh" Tom soothed. Tom remembered all the pain he was in when his dad was killed, he was trying to do what he would have wanted done to him.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked.
Dennis didn't respond.
"Talk to Fuller, get a few weeks off."
"He is the one who told me. But I can't be away from you. Not now. This is when I need you the most."
Tom didn't respond he just held his lover in his arms. He looked at his watch and saw that it was 4:55.
"My shift ends in five minutes. I'll take you home. I'll spend the night if you'd like." Tom offered.
Dennis nodded in agreement.
"Get in my car. I'm going to go clock out. I'll be back in five minutes." He said softly.
Dennis didn't let go of Tom, so it was he who made the first move away from his lover, his soul mate. He held his hand tightly, securely. Letting him know he would be with him no matter what.
Dennis got in the car, and waited for Tom. After clocking out, he got in the baby blue mustang. Dennis was distant, looking out the window. Tom sat back in the leather seat, before starting the car. The drive was silent.
"Tom." Dennis said breaking the silence in a voice shaken with pain.
"Yeah?" Tom whispered.
"I knew it was too good to be true. I knew since I found someone I care about, someone I love, something bad was going to happen."
Tom was unsure how to respond to this. He knew Dennis was talking about him.
"It was too good to be true." He continued. "Life doesn't give you good things without bringing something bad, relevant to the situation or not. I thought at first that this was my happy ending, that finally life had brought me some happiness. But Tom, happy endings are stories that haven't ended yet."
Everything's an Illusion 21 Jumpstreet
Dennis held Tom in his arms. He was asleep. Tom wasn't though; he was normally awake at night, thinking of life. He loved the feel of Bookers rising chest, the beat of his heart. He loved everything about Dennis Booker. His smell, his taste, his rhythm, he gave life meaning. He gave Tom a reason to believe that he wasn't going to die in so much pain. Everything in his life has been an illusion. Every ounce of happiness that Tom had hadn't been real until Dennis Booker came into his life, until Dennis had brought some light onto his rain. Dennis was real Tom knew it. He could feel it in his touch, his kiss. Dennis shifted so that his body was on his side. Tom brought himself closer to him, and put his arms around his neck. He had everything he would ever need.