Dawn flipped back her shimmering, brilliant, sparkling, really,
really frickin shiny hair back as she entered her home. It was dark, dark
like some really dark thing. Maybe like the hair on pandas, not the white
part, but the black part. In shadows, yeah, that too. Dawn, with her
gleaming hair swaying behind her, called out, "Anybody home? I need someone
to pay attention to me in the next ten seconds or I'm going to implode.
Hello?"
Buffy lied on her soft, cushiony bed, her sharp shoulder blades slashing through the sheets and into the bed springs. She went to sit up and found herself caught. "Damn!" she cursed as she reached behind her and extracted her bones from her bed, "I hate when this happens."
"Its happened ever since your Junior year in high school." Said the dark figure in the corner of her room.
"Angel! Oh my God-
"Goddess." Angel corrected her, but Buffy waved her pencil–thin finger at him.
"No, wrong story. Listen, how did you-" A loud 'pop!' interrupted Buffy's speech, but she continued on, "Wow, what was that?"
"Smells like hair product. Lets open a window." Buffy lifted her skeleton off the bed and walked over to the window, but Angel moved faster and lifted it for her. "I'm always your champion."
"Yeah, except for the many countless number of times where you aren't, yes, you are always my champion. Now, as I was saying, why did you come back?"
"Because I have a surprise."
"Oh, really?" Buffy sat down on her bed, careful not to puncture the mattress with her lack of ass, "Because I hate surprises but am willing to pretend I love them for this overly contrived situation." Angel jumped up and down.
"Yay!" He clapped a few times, then settled down and walked towards Buffy's closet. "You'll never guess," Angle opened the door and Buffy could hear a baby crying.
"Oh my god," Buffy put a hand to her mouth, "You stole a baby?"
"No, silly-billy," Angel said with a goofy grin on his face passing for humor as he lifted up the baby to show her, "I made one!"
"Are you sure you didn't steal one?"
"Yes, I'm sure. The powers that be gave me this child as a present, then took it away, but they gave it back to me for a day to show you." Angel continued to speak with his idiotic grin.
"The powers that be?" Buffy tilted her head and stared at her ex- flame and his baby quizzically.
"You know, the guys that brought me back from the dead when you killed me."
"Yeah…I'm still kind of off on the whole details as to why and how you were brought back."
"So I could move to Los Angeles and meet up with Doyle and Cordelia. MmmmDoyle." Angel sighed for a moment and began to drop the baby. Thinking quickly, Buffy kicked a pillow over to his feet and the baby dropped down, unharmed.
"Right. Still doesn't make any sense. Whatever. How did you get this baby? Did a stork come?"
"No, not at all, Buffy. I- well, you may be a little peeved, but, I had the baby when Darla and I had sex when she was human!"
"Wha?"
"I'm sorry, I told Cordy it meant nothing, and it truly didn't'." Buffy stood up and knocked the vampire into a wall. The baby squealed with laughter.
"Cordy, you told? You- Darla? Darla? Huh? What? And also, huh?" Angel stood up and held Buffy's bony hands.
"Yes, well, I had to. She and my group saw the baby first. Plus, well…"
"Well what?"
"Well," Angel gave a pathetic version of a sheepish grin, appearing like a twenty-something Sling Blade in the process, "I kinda likes her. We have kai-rumption."
"You have what?"
"We, we have a love thang." Buffy sat at her desk and put her head in her hands.
"I can't believe I slept with you." Angel paced around the room and his foot began its decent down onto the baby. Buffy saw this and leapt out of her seat and dived on top of the baby.
"What are you doing? Don't touch my baby, only I can hold him, except when I'm not." Angel snatched the child up from the floor and growled at Buffy.
"Oh, yeah, watch me fear you."
"Watch this, Buf." Angel held the baby over his mouth and opened wide.
"Buf? Wait, you're-"
"Yeah. I'm back baby-babe." Buffy stood up and flapped his coat open.
"Damn it. Velvet shirt, I should have known."
"Enough!" Angelous bitch slapped Buffy to the ground, then bit the baby's finger.
"I should have said that five minutes ago!" Buffy kicked out her leg, catching Angelis under the knee, and causing him to fall and drop the mistake onto the bed. Buffy quickly stood up, snatched the baby, and ran out of the room coughing briefly as the smell of a hair salon hit her in the hall, she ran into Willow's room. "Willow!"
"What?" Willow sat up on her bed, wiping her bleeding nose.
"We have to go-Angel is bad- He's here-Baby- Wrong- Bad- Nose?" Buffy wiped some of the blood off Willow's nose.
"It isn't magic, I swear! Its just regular crack!"
"Oh. Thank god." Buffy heaved a sigh of relief, then grabbed Willow's arm with her free hand and ran downstairs and out of the house.
More to come
Buffy lied on her soft, cushiony bed, her sharp shoulder blades slashing through the sheets and into the bed springs. She went to sit up and found herself caught. "Damn!" she cursed as she reached behind her and extracted her bones from her bed, "I hate when this happens."
"Its happened ever since your Junior year in high school." Said the dark figure in the corner of her room.
"Angel! Oh my God-
"Goddess." Angel corrected her, but Buffy waved her pencil–thin finger at him.
"No, wrong story. Listen, how did you-" A loud 'pop!' interrupted Buffy's speech, but she continued on, "Wow, what was that?"
"Smells like hair product. Lets open a window." Buffy lifted her skeleton off the bed and walked over to the window, but Angel moved faster and lifted it for her. "I'm always your champion."
"Yeah, except for the many countless number of times where you aren't, yes, you are always my champion. Now, as I was saying, why did you come back?"
"Because I have a surprise."
"Oh, really?" Buffy sat down on her bed, careful not to puncture the mattress with her lack of ass, "Because I hate surprises but am willing to pretend I love them for this overly contrived situation." Angel jumped up and down.
"Yay!" He clapped a few times, then settled down and walked towards Buffy's closet. "You'll never guess," Angle opened the door and Buffy could hear a baby crying.
"Oh my god," Buffy put a hand to her mouth, "You stole a baby?"
"No, silly-billy," Angel said with a goofy grin on his face passing for humor as he lifted up the baby to show her, "I made one!"
"Are you sure you didn't steal one?"
"Yes, I'm sure. The powers that be gave me this child as a present, then took it away, but they gave it back to me for a day to show you." Angel continued to speak with his idiotic grin.
"The powers that be?" Buffy tilted her head and stared at her ex- flame and his baby quizzically.
"You know, the guys that brought me back from the dead when you killed me."
"Yeah…I'm still kind of off on the whole details as to why and how you were brought back."
"So I could move to Los Angeles and meet up with Doyle and Cordelia. MmmmDoyle." Angel sighed for a moment and began to drop the baby. Thinking quickly, Buffy kicked a pillow over to his feet and the baby dropped down, unharmed.
"Right. Still doesn't make any sense. Whatever. How did you get this baby? Did a stork come?"
"No, not at all, Buffy. I- well, you may be a little peeved, but, I had the baby when Darla and I had sex when she was human!"
"Wha?"
"I'm sorry, I told Cordy it meant nothing, and it truly didn't'." Buffy stood up and knocked the vampire into a wall. The baby squealed with laughter.
"Cordy, you told? You- Darla? Darla? Huh? What? And also, huh?" Angel stood up and held Buffy's bony hands.
"Yes, well, I had to. She and my group saw the baby first. Plus, well…"
"Well what?"
"Well," Angel gave a pathetic version of a sheepish grin, appearing like a twenty-something Sling Blade in the process, "I kinda likes her. We have kai-rumption."
"You have what?"
"We, we have a love thang." Buffy sat at her desk and put her head in her hands.
"I can't believe I slept with you." Angel paced around the room and his foot began its decent down onto the baby. Buffy saw this and leapt out of her seat and dived on top of the baby.
"What are you doing? Don't touch my baby, only I can hold him, except when I'm not." Angel snatched the child up from the floor and growled at Buffy.
"Oh, yeah, watch me fear you."
"Watch this, Buf." Angel held the baby over his mouth and opened wide.
"Buf? Wait, you're-"
"Yeah. I'm back baby-babe." Buffy stood up and flapped his coat open.
"Damn it. Velvet shirt, I should have known."
"Enough!" Angelous bitch slapped Buffy to the ground, then bit the baby's finger.
"I should have said that five minutes ago!" Buffy kicked out her leg, catching Angelis under the knee, and causing him to fall and drop the mistake onto the bed. Buffy quickly stood up, snatched the baby, and ran out of the room coughing briefly as the smell of a hair salon hit her in the hall, she ran into Willow's room. "Willow!"
"What?" Willow sat up on her bed, wiping her bleeding nose.
"We have to go-Angel is bad- He's here-Baby- Wrong- Bad- Nose?" Buffy wiped some of the blood off Willow's nose.
"It isn't magic, I swear! Its just regular crack!"
"Oh. Thank god." Buffy heaved a sigh of relief, then grabbed Willow's arm with her free hand and ran downstairs and out of the house.
More to come