A/N - They're not mine, I'm not making any money, and I don't know what I'm doing either. This wouldn't be half as good as it is without Kate's (MMO) help. I don't know how she puts up with my neuroses. She is the Beta of all Beta's. And thanks to Annie and Kat for listening to me whine.
How to Save a Life
By - Laura
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
"How to Save A Life" - The Fray
Sitting in the airplane, Ranger realized exactly how tired he was. He didn't want to move. Just the thought of getting his duffle out of the overhead bin was enough to make him want to weep with fatigue. And he still had to navigate the airport and make his way to the ride waiting for him. At least he didn't have to drive.
He was getting too old for this shit. Maybe it was time to think about changing the focus of his government contract. Do a little more of the planning and a little less of the actual implementation. It was something to think about anyway.
All of that was beside the point, just standing up was going to be a major feat. Never being one to put anything off, he stood and got his bag down. Standing in line waiting to disembark he began to go over everything that was going to need his attention. What he really needed was a vacation. Maybe he would talk Steph into going someplace with him.
Just the thought of his Babe was enough to put a smile on his face. He was looking forward to seeing her and hearing about what was going on in her life. But first, he had to get back to Trenton.
As he made his way to the black Ford Expedition waiting for him, he thought about calling Steph but decided against it. She'd know he was back soon enough. Being incommunicado for the last year and a half, he had no idea what was going on. All of that could wait until he was a little more rested and aware.
If he had been less fatigued and a little more aware of his surroundings, Ranger would have noticed something was up the minute he got in the vehicle. As it was, he barely got buckled in before he fell asleep. He slept the entire hour and a half it took to get to the offices from Newark, which was unusual for him. When they reached the garage he jerked awake as the vehicle stopped. Without a word he grabbed his duffle and made his way to the elevator.
OOOOOOOOOO
The next morning, when he woke up, every muscle in his body ached. He had forgotten what the effects of extreme fatigue felt like. There was nothing for it but to get moving, so he got up and in the shower. While he let the hot water beat some of the ache out he started thinking about last night.
That was the quietest reception he had ever received, especially for being on such a long mission. Usually he had to beat the guys off with a stick. He was also surprised that Steph wasn't there. Surely someone would have called her when they realized he was in town? Had something happened? Was she all right? That thought more than any other got him moving. He needed to make sure she was OK.
Staring at the clothes in his closet Ranger noticed something else was different. Steph didn't have any clothes in here. Before he'd left for this latest mission she'd kept a couple of extra uniforms and maybe a distraction outfit in his closet for emergencies. They were all gone. After pulling on a pair of cargos and t-shirt he started observing what else was different in the apartment.
The apartment was sterile. No one had been in it for months. There was nothing that said it had been used for anything, not even the occasional shower, which is what he would have expected if Steph were still working for RangeMan. Now he was really concerned. Maybe she went back to Morelli. God he hoped not, but could he really blame her? Thinking back, he remembered the last time he saw Steph before leaving.
It was two in the morning when Ranger let himself into Steph's apartment. Pausing in the entryway he relaxed. A certain peace always seemed to settle over him when he was in Steph's space It was something that he had learned not to question. The low hum of the refrigerator was a constant background to Rex on his nightly run. If only Steph were half as dedicated to running as her hamster he wouldn't worry so much about her health.
Quietly making his way down the hall to her bedroom he paused to listen at the door. Not hearing anything he eased the door open and leaned against the doorframe. He couldn't count the times he stood here, watching her sleep. It satisfied some need deep within him. Unfortunately he didn't have time for that luxury tonight but he was going to indulge himself briefly anyway. Some things were more important.
Making his way across the room he knelt at the head of the bed. Reaching out he twined a riotous curl around his finger. He loved her hair. It was like her, so full of life and hard to control.
"Mmmm… Ranger?" Her voice was sleep roughened causing blood to pool in his groin. "What are you doing here?"
"Shh… Babe. Go back to sleep." He couldn't do it. This was a bad idea. All it did was make him want what he couldn't have. Everything he ever wanted was lying there in that bed and he was getting ready to walk away from it.
"Ranger? What's going on?" He really didn't want to do this but she deserved to know. This was his last chance. Now was not the time to be a coward.
"I- shit. I've been called in."
"You're leaving?" She was awake now and was looking like she might panic. Sitting on the edge of the bed he pulled her into his lap. Tucking her head beneath his chin he wrapped his arms around her. He wouldn't be able to leave if he saw her cry and not leaving wasn't an option. "Can't you tell them no? How long will you be gone?"
"I have to go, Babe. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone but I had to see you before I left." God, this is harder than he thought it was going to be. How do you tell someone you don't think you'll be coming back? That you expect to die? Tunneling his fingers in her hair he rocked her gently in his arms. He wasn't sure who he was trying to comfort, Steph or himself.
"When are you leaving?" She pulled back just enough to see his face. Steph was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and she didn't even realize it. He stared at her trying to memorize her face.
"In a few minutes. Tank is downstairs waiting for me." He touched his finger to her lips to keep what she was going to say quiet. "Shhh, just let me look at you before I go." His hand curved around her face gently tracing the contours. Her skin was so smooth, it felt soft and warm beneath his fingers. His heart ached that he was leaving her behind and might never get the chance to hold her again.
Her lips were so soft, he loved the way they tilted up when she smiled but that beautiful smile was far from her lips at the moment. She was distressed that he was leaving. She had the bluest eyes he had ever seen, they could change between a soft baby blue when she was laughing to a deep sapphire when she was spitting mad or aroused. Right now they were clouded with misery.
He cleared his throat, refusing to submit to emotion.
"Stay safe. Call Tank if you need anything." He tilted her head gently until his eyes held hers, "Promise me." When she nodded he pressed a hard kiss to her lips, got up and left without looking back. If he looked back and saw her crying he wouldn't be able to keep it together.
Forcing himself from the memory, Ranger decided to forego breakfast for information. He finished dressing and headed down to the control room.
TBC…
Please, please review. My inner muse says she's starving and who am I to argue. Besides the voices are starting to talk to each other and that is never a good thing.