three cheers for italics
hip hip horray
hip hip hoorae
hip hip heera
this is a thicc craccficc written at three in the morning
also we stan plagg
but we do not stan the fact that I don't own miraculous
enjoy
Adrien had no idea that he wasn't supposed to detransform in that alleyway. All he knew was that if he didn't get somewhere private, Paris would know his identity, and that wasn't high on his to-do list. And there was a perfect, empty alley right there, so Adrien jumped in as his last pad was flashing.
However, it seemed Ladybug had the same idea. Of course, it was bound to happen sometime.
"Oh, hey; m'lady! I was just—" Adrien began, feeling a bit awkward. And then, just as Ladybug's last spot flashed for its final time as well, Adrien detransformed.
At first, he just stood there, dumbstruck. Did that just happen? he wondered. And then he realized he was looking directly at Marinette, who had just...
detransformed.
It was at that moment that Adrien realized Marinette was Ladybug.
-:|:-
Marinette, having just defeated an akuma, was particularly tired out. In fact, her last spot was flashing and she knew that unless she wanted Paris to know who she was under the mask, she needed to find somewhere close to detransform. Luckily, there was an empty alleyway just below her, so she dropped into it, detransforming when she hit the ground.
And then saw Chat Noir turn into Adrien, which was not cool.
And then realized that meant Adrien was Chat Noir, which was really not cool.
This is where I come in and save the day. But first, a little bit of backstory.
When Master Fu first gave me to Adrien, I had no idea his love life would be so complicated. It's almost laughable, really. You see, he likes Ladybug, who is Marinette, who likes Adrien, who is Chat Noir. So basically, they like each other but don't at the same time because they like each other. By the way, that took me a few days of thinking to figure out. Word to the wise: stick with cheese.
But, from experience, I've learned that most humans would ask themselves do they like Chat Noir? or Adrien? which just seems stupid to me. Are you blind, or can you just not see that Adrien IS Chat Noir, and Chat Noir IS Adrien?
So, just in case these two lovebirds did not come to the conclusion that they should be in a freaking relationship right away, I devised a plan. Or, not so much a plan, but a speech. With some plan elements.
Back to the reveal.
Adrien and Marinette were staring at each other like deer caught in headlights, or more accurately, superheroes caught detransforming. Finally, Adrien said, "So... You're Ladybug?" like a complete cheesebrain, because that wouldn't lower her self-esteem, but that's not the point. The point is, it was clear to see that nothing was going to happen if I didn't do it. So, I flew between the two prepared to make my speech.
Naturally, Tikki intervened. "Plagg!" she hissed, dragging me away. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm just going to give them a nudge in the right direction, because we all know what's going to happen if I don't," I explained.
Tikki just looked at me as if my brain was missing a few pieces.
"Look, I don't have time to explain, but you'll thank me later." I pulled myself out of her grip and floated back over to the two teens (who were still staring at each other like idiots.)
"Adrien, Marinette, listen up." They perked up at that, seeming to welcome someone taking charge. "I am about to say something very important," Tikki scoffed, "so listen carefully.
"Marinette, you like Adrien, right?" A nod from her. "You would totally kiss him, right?" I continued, and she turned blushed heavily. "Well, yeah; but—"
"Cool. Adrien," I went on, turning to him. "You like Ladybug, right?" I asked, gesturing to Marinette, since I read somewhere that boys were dumber than girls and I wasn't about to take my chances with this one. He hesitated, and then nodded as well. "You would kiss Ladybug?" I continued, only getting another nod.
"I thought so. And Marinette— just checking— you are Ladybug?" I received a nod from her, and her face brightened as if she suddenly realized something, which I hoped was Adrien wants to kiss me.
"So, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you two have wanted to make out with each other for a long time?" Still a dull nod from Adrien, though Marinette definitely seemed awake as she nodded.
I waited for a moment, hoping they would make the connection. And as painfully obvious and overly simple as it was, the two dunderheads did not get it, so I screeched, "KISS, STUPID!"
That got them going. After making sure the snogging would be more than a few seconds, (just in case they had the audacity just to do a simple peck on the lips after all of my hard work) I turned triumphantly to Tikki.
She was impressed, even though she was trying to hide it by looking angry.
"Admit it," I started, "without me, that wouldn't have happened for another month or two, and that would have been painful."
Begrudgingly, Tikki admitted, "Fine. Thank you."
By the way, Tikki has said that about six times in the last millennia, so I felt like I had done a very good job. Wanting to end on a high note, I resolved to leave. My job was done.
"Hey, Adrien," I said, turning around, "time to go-oookay, I did not need to see that," I finished, turning to face Tikki. "Okay, maybe I didn't think this through that well."
Needless to say, Tikki was amused.
Woohoo! My first:
-oneshot
-crackfic
and
-thing I've finished.
Anyone who has read any of my other fanfics, don't worry! Updates are coming! Soonish. (maybe in a month if you're lucky. you're reading the words of a procrastinator here, so.)
Thank you for giving this fic a chance, and I will leave you with these words: What if Plagg was voice acted by Morgan Freeman?