Okay, I wrote this because... Saikano rocks. That's the only reason.
I love you guys. Please review!
Love,
Nana
I am a cyborg. I have no emotion.
I was told by the scientists who turned me into a weapon that I would lose every emotion I once had - that I would become a weapon in the truest sense of the word. I didn't believe them until that moment.
But I loved you.
You were the only thing that kept me halfway human. You were the only thing I wanted, Shu-chan. It's easy to just watch everything fall apart, to watch everyone else die, to watch the chaos finally end; it's easy to enjoy the idea of leaving all this behind me. It's easier still to think that I could end all pain by just standing aside and letting them destroy everything. I believed that nothing in this world deserved to be saved until I met you.
And you loved me.
Do you fear me now? You're the only one who knows my true nature, the only one who didn't run away from me when I showed you my true self. But sometimes I wonder if you hide behind your smile, if you're trying to appease me because you're afraid of what I might become.
What is love?
And as I stand on that balcony, giving the world the eulogy it deserves, I can't help but feel... sadness? Melancholy? Nostalgia? It's hard to name emotions when you barely have them anymore. I wonder - briefly - if love is nothing more than memories you can't let go of. Then I realize that it must be true.
I've failed.
You wanted to protect me, but you couldn't. You can't. I wish we could have been happy, but I knew - without a doubt - that they wouldn't leave us alone. They wouldn't risk their precious weapon fall into someone else's hands. But they didn't realize how pathetic I really am. I'm no longer a saishu heiki* - I'm just a toy, a pawn in a chess game that's been going on for centuries, a single person in a cesspool of chaos and destruction. You're the only puritiy I can find, the only person the world hasn't managed to corrupt.
And I can't stand to watch you die.
We really are the last love song on this pathetic planet, aren't we?
Do you know what it's like to know what's going to happen and be unable to do anything about it? Maybe you don't. Or maybe everyone does. It's been pretty obvious what was going to happen; all we were waiting for was the actual event.
Well, here we are - about to witness everything that's going to happen, about to die ourselves. There's no solace in this death, no rest, nothing but a doomed love and memories that are going to fade the moment those bombs detonate. And so, I finish my eulogy and prepare for what I know is going to be the end.
So, I fly up to the bombs hovering over our city, trying to save you, trying - desperately, foolishly, optimistically - to save the only thing I ever loved.
Maybe when you wake up, you'll understand why. Or maybe you won't. Either way, it doesn't matter anymore.
Saishu Heiki - Ultimate Weapon.
Please review!
Love,
Nana.