ATTENTION! This is a collection of UNFINISHED and UNEDITED shit. I am NOT working on them anymore. They are DEAD. CORPSES. But I thought you'd like to take a walk in the graveyard so... here we go. (I even kept all stupid work-titles that I would have NEVER used when published proberly!)
First Corpse: A Man After Midnight
I did a few draws, put scenes in and out and back in and changed stuff and never read over it to see if it is logical nor did I spell check. READ AT YOUR OWN DANGER!
A Man After Midnight
God, he was sick. No one could ever know that Sam had taken the uniform home after the lock in. He wondered what girl it had belonged to since it was really huge for a girl's Cheerios uniform. But whatever. He stared into the mirror and shrugged. It suited him well and that was what mattered.
Had Blaine liked it? Sam couldn't tell. He knew Blaine was pretty oblivious when it came to some stuff and Sam trying to hint that he was into boys, too, was one of those things. Blaine either laughed it off or didn't get it at all. Sigh.
Speaking of the devil. Sam's phone went with the ring tone he had for Blaine ('Against All Odds' from Phil Collins, he just had felt like it and Blaine must never know. And he won't since it will never ring out when he's with Sam!).
"This is Sam Evans", he answered the phone. He stroked over his skirt and imagined that Blaine could see him and wanted him.
"Oh, sorry, wrong number", Blaine said.
"It's okay, it can happen to anybody. Who did you want to reach?"
"My bff."
"Oh God, Blaine, never call me that when somebody can hear you! Ugh."
Blaine laughed. "What are you doing right now?"
"Uhm… nothing. Why?"
"So you have time for me?"
"Always, Blaine, you know that."
"Good, because I'm in front of your house."
"Uuuuh…."
Sam didn't know what to say and he didn't have to since Blaine had hung up and now the doorbell rang.
"Shit, shit, shiiiiiiit." Sam pulled the top over his head and jumped to his cupboard where he stuffed it into. He could already hear Blaine talk downstairs, damn, now the skirt. The zipper didn't move as Sam tugged on it violently so he forced himself to do it slowly. Just as he stepped out of the fabric and shoved it under a big pile of clothes, the door of his room opened.
Shit. His heart raced as he got up from his knees and turned around. Blaine stopped in his tracks and his jaw dropped.
"I, uh, I'm just changing", Sam explained his almost-nakedness. This only ever happened to him! He grabbed a blue shirt and pulled it over his head. Blaine started to move again and went to sit on the bed.
"Or do you want me to stay undressed?" Sam asked.
"Uh, no, you can get dressed", Blaine said.
"How generous." Sam took a pair of jeans and got into it. "Is there a reason for your ambush besides seeing me naked?"
Blaine blushed. "I didn't even look, Sam."
"Yes, you did." Sam waggled his eyebrows. Damn you, Blaine, take a hint already.
Blaine observed the bed sheets. "Anyway. I was just in the neighborhood. Sounds like a lame saying but it's true. I went for a walk and started thinking about stuff and ended up in front of your house."
"Destiny's calling", Sam nodded. Blaine frowned and didn't seem to think it's funny so Sam decided to stop it and be serious.
"Okay, what were you thinking about?"
"Hmmm…"
"Let me guess. Kurt."
Blaine shrugged. "No. Not really. I mean yeah, in the general sense, I mean… it's not like I still want him back but I do want to have a little romance in life. Is that too much to ask?"
Sam patted Blaine's shoulder. "One day you will find it."
Blaine sighed. "Yeah." He lay back on the bed and put his hands on his face. Sam's heart was crying. He wanted to see Blaine happy and full of life, his eyes shining and his voice full of enthusiasm. He didn't necessarily need to be the reason for Blaine to feel like that but that would be a bonus.
"Hey, no pity-party now! We can order food", Sam suggested. "And watch a movie."
Blaine chuckled into his hands. "Because we barely do that?"
"It's different every time, soldier. Now!" Sam jumped up and went to his DVD shelf. As expected it lifted up Blaine's mood to do nerdy stuff. That was what they were about, anyway. Dorky friends. To think they could ever be more was just presumptuous.
On Friday they went to a carnival with their Glee friends. The group split as Artie, Kitty, Unique, Tina and Ryder wanted to go for a wild rollercoaster ride. Sam and Blaine ended up strolling along the booths with Jake and Marley. Sam was secretly glad to be separated from Tina because she always took up so much of Blaine's attention!
For now he had the black-haired boy all to himself. Jake bought Marley a gingerbread heart and then wanted to win her a teddy. It looked really easy. Giving in to an instinct Sam also bought some tickets. He could win car models or huge lollipops but he aimed for a teddy as well. It was totally appropriate to win your best friend a teddy, right?
"Congratulations!" the man behind the counter said as he gave Sam a big brown teddy bear. He accepted it with a grin and turned to Blaine.
"This is for you, best friend in the whole world", he said as he gave him the teddy. Blaine took it with awe.
"Wait, really? For me?" The look on his face gave Sam the greatest sense of pride. He squared his shoulders and nodded.
"Wow, thank you, Sam!" Blaine threw himself at the blond, who couldn't help but grin again as he closed his arms around his best friend.
"You two are so dating", Jake laughed.
Heat climbed up Sam's neck and he let go of Blaine. Why would Jake say something like that? Now Blaine would be all awkward and distant and...
Blaine laughed. "Actually, Jake, we have something way better than dating. Because bromance can never be destroyed, right, Sam?"
He held up his fist and Sam looked at him speechlessly. Blaine was so over his crush on Sam, wasn't he? He liked being friends better. 'Way better'. Okay, good to know. Sam gulped and gave Blaine the wanted fist bumped.
"Sure", he croaked.
"Now we go to the Ferris wheel, okay?" Marley asked, clapping her hands. She linked arms with Jake and the couple led the way. Blaine sighed quietly as they followed them.
"What's up?" Sam asked. "Don't you like Ferris wheels?"
"I do like it but…" Blaine shrugged and rested his chin on the teddy that he was carrying. "It's such a romantic cliché thing, it's really depressing to go there as single."
"Oh come on, many single people go there not only couples", Sam said.
"I know", Blaine sighed. "I'm just in one of those moods again."
"Blaine, literally just one minute ago an awesome dude won you a teddy. How are you sad, I mean, do I have to be offended?" Sam asked, swallowing down the lump building in his throat.
"Oh, Sam, I'm sorry, of course not."
They arrived and Sam looked up the wheel. Jake and Marley immediately got in line for a ticket while Blaine turned to Sam.
"Let me invite you to make it up to you, okay?"
"Okay. So it's official. We're on a bro-date", Sam joked. Secretly he meant it, of course. A bro-date was just like a real date only that one of them didn't know it was real.
"We are." Blaine squeezed Sam's hand and pulled him to the line.
Of course the teddy came with them. It sat on Blaine's lap as the guarding frame got closed. Sam looked at it until the wheel started turning and they flew up. As fresh wind blew in his face he took a deep breath and looked at the carnival and the colorful city lights in the twilight.
"It's a beautiful night", Blaine sighed.
"Yeah."
They stopped halfway up and their gondola swung back and forth. Damn, it was a romantic atmosphere. So Sam put his arm around Blaine's shoulders, it really was the fault of the romantic atmosphere and no one else's. Blaine sighed and leaned against him, totally not suspecting anything. What if Sam kissed him? Would Blaine want that?
The wheel started to move again and when they passed the waiting people in front of it Sam's heart beat pretty fast but he didn't take his arm back. They could think what they wanted. Maybe they thought they were a couple who would have sex later. So what?
Another stop, this time high above the ground. Blaine sat up and looked around, sighing. Sam could tell what he was thinking. How great it would be to be on a real date, etc. If only he knew it was a real date. Sam should say something, or do something, now.
He moved his hand that lay on Blaine's shoulder to his neck. The soft skin under his fingertips made him shiver. Blaine turned his head and looked questioningly at Sam and with the hardest heartbeat ever Sam wetted his lips and leaned in.
Blaine was as stiff as a poker. This never was a good sign and Sam should retreat immediately. But the taste of Blaine's lips was so good and enchanting that Sam wasn't able to move for some long moments. Just when he had gathered the will to lean back Blaine grabbed Sam's neck and pushed his lips against him. Heat shot up in his body and made Sam believe this moment could last forever. Because it was perfect. Perfect.
"Sam…" Blaine pulled back minimally, gasping. "You're a good kisser."
"Thanks. You, too."
Blaine inhaled deeply and moved further back. Sam took back his hand and rested it on his lap. Well. And now?
The wheel moved downwards and the ride ended. Jake and Marley were waiting for them. Sam's lips were still tingling like crazy and it made him fell all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about what had happened so naturally he couldn't focus on other things very much.
So he had kissed Blaine. And Blaine had kissed back. Did that mean they were a couple now? But whether it did or not, Sam couldn't stop smiling. He walked down the hallway as if he was the king of the school. When he saw Blaine at the lockers a lot of butterflies jittered through his body. They hadn't seen each other on the weekend but texted about homework and the upcoming finals.
"Hey", he said as casually as he could. Blaine briefly looked at him.
"Hi, Sam."
"So, crazy stuff, huh?"
"Mh? What?" This time Blaine didn't look up from his locker.
"Well, you know... Friday."
"Friday… oh. Friday." Blaine inhaled deeply and closed his locker.
"I feel so awful, Sam. I shouldn't have whined as much as I have. You're too nice a person and I feel like I took advantage of your good heart. But don't worry, I will not let it come between us. And I will look for someone to date, don't be afraid", Blaine rattled through while his cheeks turned pretty red.
"Oh…"
Blaine nodded and avoided Sam's eyes. "See you later."
He went down the hall and Sam stared after him for a minute or two. Fuck, no. Blaine hadn't gotten it again. What else did Sam have to do? Words weren't helping, kisses weren't helping. So what was?
A few days later he bought the new edition of 'Games Today' and cookies. Sam didn't really have an appetite but he knew Blaine liked cookies. When he got into his room Blaine sat on his bed with his laptop on his lap.
"I come bearing gifts", Sam said as he put his bag on the bed.
"I have awesome news!" Blaine looked up and smiled. "I registered on this dating site and I chatted all afternoon with this guy, he really seems nice!"
"Uh… internet romance?" Sam pulled a face. "I mean it could be a criminal."
Blaine shook his head and looked at the screen again, his face darkening. "It's a good way to find someone. I'm not a criminal and I'm using this site, so…"
Sam frowned as he sat down. What kind of logic was that? The internet was a dangerous place! Blaine really shouldn't date someone he met online.
"He likes taking walks, America's Next Topmodel and reading comics", Blaine said without looking up. "I think it could work."
"I like reading comics." Sam bit his lip but Blaine still didn't look at him.
"I know, Sam. And you will always be my best friend."
Sam examined his hands and silently sighed. Always the best friend. Of course.
Blaine closed the laptop and got out his comics. They read for a while although Sam had a hard time concentrating. He was really worried about that stranger Blaine wanted to meet. Still, he didn't bring it up again and later left the Anderson's with the worst feeling ever. It just wasn't right.
So Blaine was about to get murdered by some internet guy. Sam really didn't like it. Blaine was texting the killer in between classes and on the evenings. One night Blaine went to the bathroom he left his laptop open and Sam paused his game to snoop around. It was such a cheesy conversation Blaine had with 'Paul' and Sam almost had taken matters into his own hand and wrote something to make them end. But eventually he was too gutless for that and just went back to his game.
Sam's nights were getting worse. His thoughts spun around and round. In his dreams he fought the internet guy and saved Blaine from deadly danger, and then they kissed. Always. And he also thought about kissing Blaine when he lay awake in his bed. But it couldn't go on like that. Blaine was about to fall in love with someone and if Sam didn't get his shit together he sooner or later would mess up their friendship!
So to show Blaine that nothing had changed or ever would he totally supported him to meet the internet guy. Maybe things would go back to normal when Blaine had a boyfriend. Paul lived in Kenton, not very far away. Wasn't that just great?
"So?"
Sam had come to school extra early on this Monday to get to know all about Blaine's Saturday night date in Kenton. He was excited to hear about it to the amount that he felt sick. He wanted to be happy for Blaine so bad. He wanted to be the good friend he had been all this time and support Blaine and share the joy of a date that had gone well with him.
Blaine was sitting at the stairs and grinned as he saw Sam, who took place beside him.
"Hey. If you want to know how it went…"
"Yes! I want to know!"
Blaine laughed and it went through all of his body. It was great to see him happy. It also created a knot in Sam's stomach that he simply ignored.
"It went well. We kissed. Do you know how long I haven't been kissed? Too long." Blaine sighed and Sam patted his shoulder.
"Good for you!"
Though, uhm, Blaine had been kissed just a few weeks ago on the Ferris wheel? But of course that didn't count. It just had been Sam.
"You know, I just want a relationship that is easy going for once. With Kurt it was too much drama. That's not what love is about, right? Or at least it shouldn't be."
"You're so right." Sam nodded. He turned his head and stared at the ground. "One day I will find something like that, too."
"Of course you will, Sam." Blaine laid his hand on Sam's and squeezed it. "You will find the girl of your dreams and will be happy until you die, I'm sure of it."
Sam nodded. He turned his hand around to return the pressure and only realized after a few moments that they were sitting here, holding hands. The realization hit him like a shock that made his heart jump up and down but he didn't let go. He gulped and pretended he didn't notice it, and hoped Blaine would ask Sam about it and then he could confess his feelings just like he had made Blaine confess his crush a few months earlier. It wouldn't be awkward. They could survive stuff like that.
But Blaine just pulled back his hand after a final squeeze and went to class. Sam stayed where he was and waited until his head cooled down a bit. Damn.
He needed to talk to someone. About that Blaine thing. It would be easier if he could complain to someone about it. But who? Jake and Ryder were out of question, they wouldn't understand. The only other gay guy Sam knew was Kurt but he couldn't talk to him about his ex-boyfriend.
Then he had the best idea ever. Blaine could use the internet, so could Sam! Sure there were sites and chats about stuff like that. It was a weird feeling as Sam read through a forum. But bingo! There were other confused people. People who didn't know what was happening because they suddenly liked a same sex person. And not so few wrote about how they had their eyes on a close friend!
He logged into the chat, nickname 'skywalker94'. Okay, now came the hard part. It took Sam pretty long but finally he found the right words.
skywalker94: can some1 help me? i don't now what is going on. i don't want to but all the time i think about kissing this guy… but i'm a guy 2! also he's my best friend and i dno't want to lose him!
People were chatting with each other and nobody answered him. Sam was about to give up as somebody finally replied.
hot&sexy: skywalker is it the first time you crush on a boy?
Sam gulped and tipped 'yes' into the field. Oh my God. Crushing. That sounded so serious. And it was true. He had a crush on Blaine!
hot&sexy: skywalker welcme to the gay world! Don't worry it's normal that the best friend is the first crush. But don't get your hopes up too high
Ah, finally a conversation about it. Now Sam could lay it all on the table.
skywalker94: don't be afraid I don't have hopes. He is seeing some1 and i don't even want to get 2gether with him i mean that would be wird.
He had missed his chance anyway. And it really, really would be weird. No, they had to stay friends.
hot&sexy: you're right dreams are always better than reality. It's a good start to dream!
Sam smiled sadly. Yeah… dreams. He had plenty of them.
skywalker94: it's just we're so close and i'M afraid he will notice.
hot&sexy: do you think he would freak out? is he homophobic?
skywalker94: no! maybe worse because he's gay and he used to have a crush on me and i told him i don't feel anything for him and now he's moved on!
hot&sexy: damn sounds like you're really unlucky.
Yeah, Sam really was. At least that guy or girl understood, and that felt good. Now Sam didn't feel so alone anymore. He could dream about Blaine without feeling too guilty. It was okay.
hot&sexy: but at least he would understand
Sam shook his head. He still couldn't tell Blaine about it.
skywalker94: yeah but… i don't know. first i need to get over the fact that i'm crushing on a boy you know
hot&sexy: sure it can be confusing. Well for me it was clear from the beginning i only liked girls. gay gay gay.
skywalker94: yeah i'm not gay. that's my problem. I also like girls
hot&sexy: not unheard of ;)
Sam took a deep breath of relief. See, it wasn't bad. It was normal and good. He could sleep now… well after his usual trip to fantasy land.
So Blaine had Paul, Sam had no one and continued pining after his best friend. Life was not fair. Soon they would graduate, what then? They would stay together, right? Blaine would go to NYADA, that much was clear. Sam had applied for some scholarships and they really took time with their answer. Hopefully a school in New York would take him.
Jake and Ryder sat down at his table that he was sitting on in the Lima Bean.
"What are you dreaming about?" Jake asked.
Sam shrugged. "My future and stuff."
"Oh, heavy", Ryder said. "I'm glad I still have a year."
"Don't be too content, it will be over in no time", Sam said.
"So… any plans for tonight?" Jake asked. "We are thinking about a bro night with games and beer."
"Sounds like a plan", Sam said. Especially since Blaine would meet Paul again.
So later Sam went to Jake's place. It was a fun night and sure enough Sam could forget his worries. After a few beers he got tipsy and also had the best idea ever.
He pulled out his phone and dialed Blaine's number.
"Yeah?" Blaine answered.
Sam had his feet on the table, a bottle in his left hand and glanced at Jake and Ryder who were still playing.
"Heeey", he said. "How are you?"
"I'm good. Are you still at Jake's?"
"Yeah… hey Blaine? I miss you."
"Aw, that's sweet", Blaine said. "Are you drunk?"
"Yes." Sam giggled. He let his feet rotate and drank a sip. "Are you with Paul right now?"
"I'm on my way back to Lima."
"Come here?"
"No, I'm tired… I could give you a ride home if you need one but I won't stay", Blaine said.
Sam pouted. It would have been perfect if Blaine had been here. But before he wouldn't see him at all tonight he agreed to the ride and then waited until his best friend arrived.
It was silent in the car. Sam stared out of the window at the calm passing city.
"Can I sleep at your place?" he asked without turning his head. Instead he pressed his forehead at the cool glass.
After a few moments Blaine said: "If you want to."
Of course Sam wanted to, otherwise he wouldn't have asked. He didn't say anything until they arrived. And then he simply walked into Blaine's room instead of the guest room, took off his shoes and jeans and crawled into bed. In the back of his mind he knew he was behaving intrusively but he was too tired and maybe still a bit too drunk to care.
Blaine sighed. "And where am I supposed to sleep, Sam?"
Sam patted at mattress. His heart was already pounding but it got even wilder when Blaine started to undress. Of course he only got rid of shoes and trousers, like Sam had, but it was enough. He went to brush his teeth. Eventually he turned off the lights and came to bed.
Sam couldn't move for a moment as he felt Blaine crawling under the sheets. Wow. Blaine. Here, in the same bed. Sam gulped. Damn his body that yearned for more contact and damn his mind that showed him pictures of them kissing.
"Are you asleep?" he whispered.
"I literally just got to bed, Sam."
"Oh. Okay. Because I'm still awake, too."
"Well, sleep now."
Sam nodded but his eyes wouldn't close. He wanted to do something, he needed to. But what, how? Blaine would hate him. He had Paul now and didn't like Sam anymore.
Sam lay on the back and stared at the ceiling. He was convinced that Blaine heard his heart beating. But after a few moments Blaine's breath deepened. He was asleep. For Sam it took another half an hour until sleep finally found him.
The whole next day Sam had a headache. He blamed it on the alcohol and was only glad he hadn't done anything stupid to Blaine. They spent the day like all besties would, reading nerdy stuff and joking around and when Sam got home he threw himself on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Damn, it was exhausting to act normal. So he stayed home on Sunday and killed his frustration with facebook games and, of course, his online chat friend. Yay, hot&sexy was on!
skywalker94: hello! here i am again
hot&sexy: hey :) how are things with you and your crush?
Sam grinned. They called Blaine 'his crush'. How genius was that?
skywalker94: oh my god! we slept in the same bed! i so wanted to kiss him! so so so hot damn
And just how good was it to be able to talk to someone about it!?
hot&sexy: oh boy you've fallen hard, haven't you
skywalker94: yeah :-(
hot&sexy: so what now?
Sam sighed. If he only knew!
skywalker94: nothing. he doesn't like me anymore
hot&sexy: for sure?
Sam sat back and took a deep breath. Was he sure? Blaine had Paul only since two weeks. From what Sam had heart they weren't exclusive yet. But there also hadn't been any glances in Sam's direction. No staring at his lips or abs anymore.
skywalker94: i really can#t say
hot&sexy: maybe there's hope?how could you find out?
Huh… good question. He couldn't just go and ask Blaine. But there were other ways, right? Sam had one great advantage: his body. Next time after swimming practice he could find an excuse to get close to Blaine and observe his reactions.
skywalker94: seduce him? lol
hot&sexy: you go hot boy! :)
Sam chuckled. Yeah. He would.
Another school week begun and Sam really had to start studying now. He chose English and History as subjects he would read a bit about at home and put the textbooks into his bag. When he closed his locker he jumped because Blaine was standing there, looking quite thoughtful.
"Oh God! You frightened me", Sam said.
"Sorry. Sam, can I ask you something?"
"Yes, of course."
"I feel silly for asking this because I'd assume you'd tell me but… is there someone in your life you have your eyes on?"
Sam's heart pounded and his throat was dry. Yes, Blaine. You.
"Uh, uhm, why?"
Blaine adjusted his bag. "Well, I was online yesterday and saw that you changed your relationship status on facebook to 'it's complicated'…?"
"Oh, that." Sam bit his lip. He actually had done that during an outburst of frustration. How explain it now?
"Well, it's complicated because there is no one, you know?" Sam heard himself saying. Damn, he was lying to Blaine.
"Oh", Blaine said. He took a deep breath. "Well, you could always look online for someone…?"
"No." Sam shook his head. "I'd rather meet someone in person so I know how they smell and what their skin feels like and how their body fits against mine."
He held Blaine's eyes and the other boy stared at him for a few moments until he cleared his throat and looked away.
"Well, yeah, sounds good."
"Study together today?"
"What? Oh, yeah, why not."
Sam grinned. At least the finals were good for one thing: Blaine didn't have much time left to meet up with Paul and spend more time with Sam.
Sam knew they were supposed to study but somehow he got the thought into his head to find out how serious Blaine was with Paul. They had met a few times on the weekends and by now Blaine would know whether he could fall in love with him, right?
Sam twirled around his pen and glanced at his friend from time to time. How to address the topic unsuspiciously? He lay on his belly, feet up in the air while Blaine sat cross legged next to him. Since they had studied for some time now it was totally appropriate to induce a break. Sam bored his pen into Blaine's leg.
"I'm hungry."
"Mhmh."
"Come on, babe, let's get some food."
Finally Blaine looked up, his cheeks pretty pink. "I… what?"
"Food. Stuff you put into your mouth to eat, you know?"
"Uh, yeah, sure." Blaine closed his book and took a deep breath. Sam rolled around so he lay on his back and could observe Blaine's beautiful face. Why couldn't he just tell him? Why was it so hard? Sam had told all of his girlfriends he loved them. He even had kind of proposed to Quinn while they hadn't been dating. He wasn't someone to hide his feelings.
"I love you."
There, that hadn't been difficult. Sam's heart tried to break his ribcage as he waited for Blaine to respond.
The black haired boy smiled. "Love you, too. Do you want pizza?"
Sam nodded, not being able to speak right now. Blaine took out his phone and was busy with it while Sam turned his face to the ceiling and pressed his eyes closed. Damn, why was he so unexpressive? He couldn't do anything right.
Eventually Blaine was done. He put his phone away and lay down next to Sam. Sam opened his eyes and looked at him. Should he say it again? Would Blaine get it then?
"Aren't we just awesome?" Blaine whispered.
"We so are", Sam said as quietly.
"I'm glad we're still good friends", Blaine said. "My crush could have gotten between us but it didn't. And the reason is because you didn't let it. It could have gotten awkward but it didn't. Hell, we even kissed and it didn't do us any bad."
"Mh, yeah." Sam gazed into Blaine's eyes, thinking of ways to say 'Let's do it again'. But he didn't have to. Blaine returned the gaze and after a few seconds he leaned forward and with a shuddering breath laid his silky lips on Sam's mouth, careful and without pressure as if not sure whether it was wanted. A pleasant shock rushed through Sam's system. Hell, it was wanted! His fingers nervously bored into Blaine's shoulder and he pursed his lips. Warm fingers grasped his jaw.
Blaine made a guttural noise as he closed his lips around Sam's lower one. Sam got to taste salty skin with a few stubbles. His heart was racing and it made him sweat. This was Blaine. His best friend, the cutest boy on earth, and he chose to kiss Sam. Wow.
He let his fingers glide to Blaine's neck and caressed the line of his hair. This moment should never end. Sam just wanted to kiss. And Blaine apparently did, too. He let his thumb run over Sam's cheek bone and moved his hand further into Sam's hair, lightly massaging his skull. It let all kinds of shudders run through Sam's body and he instinctively urged closer to Blaine. Their bodies collided in the most pleasurable way and they both gasped for air, breaking the kiss.
"Definitively no breath mints this time", Blaine said. Then he started to laugh and pressed his face against Sam's shoulder. Sam couldn't laugh, things were too serious. He stared at the ceiling while he held on to Blaine and prayed that he would never leave. Why had Blaine done it? What was he feeling and thinking right now?
Blaine propped himself on his elbows and looked down at Sam, gently stroking over his hair.
"You're hot."
"So you're still into me?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Sam shrugged. He thought of Paul but what good would it do to mention him now? It would only stop things. He went for Blaine's lips again. They were hot and smooth, just perfect. Blaine was perfect. They kissed for a few minutes, the best minutes in Sam's life. Then Blaine pulled away, breathing deeply.
"Okay, I need to cool down", he said.
"Sure." Sam still couldn't believe this was happening. He drove his hands over his face and tried to catch his breath. Wow.
Blaine lay down on his back and his breathing went as fast as Sam's. There were so many questions left open between them but Sam couldn't think of any way to utter even one. And maybe he didn't even want to know the answer.
"Do you wanna watch a movie?" Blaine asked.
"Uhm… yeah, why not. Are we done studying?"
"I thought so? Or do you want to…"
"No, no, it's okay", Sam hurried to say. Yeah okay, now things were a little bit awkward. But the way from friends to lovers always was, right?
So they watched 'Avatar' and Sam had never paid less attention to his favorite movie. Instead he noticed the way Blaine's arm was pressed against his and the way Blaine's body moved when he breathed and every now and then he glanced sideways at his friend all while his own heart was racing like crazy. He wondered whether Blaine felt the same or whether he just thought kissing Sam was a nice distraction from studying.
But of course he didn't have the guts to ask him and went home clueless but yearning for more.
They didn't always study together but when they did Sam's heart never found peace. One Wednesday school ended early so they were done studying earlier, too. After a while Blaine stretched his arms and yearned.
"So, uhm… Paul asked me to go out Friday night", he said.
Sam nodded as unsuspiciously as he could. He still didn't know how serious Blaine was with that guy but the fact that he was still in the race after Sam and Blaine had kissed said more than Sam wanted to know. He ignored the throbbing pain in his chest and faked a smile.
"Cool. Where will you go?"
Blaine fumbled with some papers. "So you wouldn't mind?"
Sam shrugged because his dry mouth refused to formulate the most vital words that were 'I do mind, please don't go'.
"You've been on dates with Paul for the last five weekends or do", Sam said. "Are you and him together?"
Blaine sighed and finally let go of his papers. "Great idea to ask me that after you kissed me!"
"Hey!" Sam's cheeks got hot. "You started it!"
"You didn't seem to be much declined!" Blaine rose from the bed and went to his desk where he aimlessly stapled books on a pile.
Sam knew this was a perfect moment to say something. He wrung his hands and swallowed.
"Well, I wasn't."
Huh, not as expressive as he had hoped.
"Why?"
Blaine turned around, leaned against the desk and crossed his arms.
"I, uh, I thought about it, I mean, which guy isn't curious, you know, after all that talk…"
Blaine narrowed his eyes and glared at Sam for a few moments. Eventually he exhaled and uncrossed his arms.
"That's what I thought."
Sam frowned. Why couldn't he just tell Blaine!? Blaine wouldn't mind! Blaine wouldn't think Sam was trying to get between him and Paul… right?
"So are you together now?"
Blaine sighed and sat down on the bed again. "Not really. I mean, after graduation when I go to New York we have to part ways anyway. I don't want to get involved too much."
"Oh. So he's your rebound guy."
"Yeah, if you put it that way."
Blaine gathered his school stuff together and put it on the ground. "Well… what do you want to do now?"
"Uh… make out?"
Blaine's head flew to him and Sam seriously didn't know where he had taken the courage from to say it out loud.
"You want to keep that up?" Blaine asked.
"Only if you want to."
Blaine exhaled and looked thoughtfully at Sam, then at Sam's lips, and nodded. Sam grinned. Yes! Success! He put his stuff away and sat down next to Blaine, grabbing his hand. Their eyes locked and their mouths carefully approached each other. Of course when they met Sam's eyes fell shut and he focused on tasting Blaine's heavenly lips.
On Friday Sam got an acceptance letter from Pratt and it was the best thing ever. His future was safe now! When Blaine heard the news he was overwhelmed with joy and it made Sam's chest swell with pride. Maybe things would get well in the end, really well, like no Paul and only them. Oh my God, yes, they could be an official couple! Right now they weren't anything. In school they just were friends as always and didn't even spend more time than normally with each other. Just when they did they happened to kiss each other.
Stupid Paul. Sam knew things with him and Blaine weren't serious but he still didn't like sharing Blaine with him. He tried to distract himself on Friday night by meeting with Ryder but he wasn't really at his best game.
"What's up, dude? You lost Mario Cart for the third time tonight while normally you're kicking my ass at it", Ryder commended.
"Well…" Sam wetted his lips and took a deep breath. "Blaine's with Paul right now."
"Oh come on, I'm sure he's not an axe murderer…"
Sam snorted. Yeah, he might have complained a bit about Paul to his other friends. But he had never told them the real reason for his envy.
"I can't stop thinking about what they are doing right now. I mean, are they kissing? Blaine mentioned he did that with Paul. I mean… it drives me crazy." Sam exhaled and laid his head back.
"Why?" Ryder frowned.
Sam stared at the TV. "Because I want to be the only one who kisses Blaine."
Silence. After a few endless moments Sam dared to look at Ryder. His expression was priceless but Sam didn't feel like laughing.
"Repeat that?" Ryder croaked.
"You understood me", Sam said. He scratched his skull and shrugged. "It started at…"
"You and Blaine are doing what exactly?" Ryder interrupted. "Are you gay?"
"I'm…" Sam frowned. He hadn't really thought about it. "Well, I like Blaine so I guess I have gay leanings?"
"You like him?"
"I love him."
"You love him?"
Sam moaned. "Yes, Ryder!"
"No. I mean… it is a joke. The whole Glee club says you're like boyfriend but it's a joke! This is not supposed to be real! Blam is the most intense bromance ever, that's all there is to it!"
Sam frowned. "Why do you care so much?"
"Because it'd be weird. Because I can't imagine you and him being really gay with each other."
"Well, get over it, it already happened."
"What happened? Did you…?"
"We kissed a few times." Sam shrugged. Heavenly kisses it had been, oh yeah.
"Oh. So… but he still meets with Paul? Did you talk about it?" Ryder put his controller away and crossed his legs, looking interested at Sam.
"Uhm, he asked if I would mind and I… I said no."
"You idiot! As if Blaine wouldn't have waved Paul goodbye if you just only said a word."
"You think so?" It was hard to imagine that Blaine would leave people to be with Sam. Normally Sam was the one who got left.
"Duh!" Ryder jumped up and rushed to his desk from where he took his phone. "I bet he'd even stop his date the moment he knows you've got feelings for him!"
"Stop, Ryder, don't call him!"
"Tell me one good reason."
Sam lifted his eyebrows. "He needs to hear it from me. He would think you're pulling a really bad joke."
"Oh… hmm, good point." Ryder put down his phone and came to sit on the bed again.
"Then you call him."
"Not over the phone." Sam shook his head, then he sighed. "Look, I tried to tell him several times but I'm bad at it! It's as if it's extra hard with Blaine because, well, he could reject me and then we'd be over on every level there is."
"Are you even listening to yourself? Even if he would reject you your friendship would still be strong because wait, what was that, something about Blaine singing love songs to you earlier this year? Oh and that also is the reason that Blaine would never reject you, dude, seriously!"
Sam bit his lip. Ryder could talk easily because he wasn't invested. But it wasn't that simple!
The week of the finals was stressful so of course Sam didn't get to say anything. They also didn't do anything. On Friday they celebrated the fact that work was done and only one week of school was left by playing Autocrash. They were on it since a few hours already but until now nothing had gone down.
"Are you excited? Future, we're coming!" Sam said.
"Yes! I can't wait." Blaine yawned and stretched his arms. Sam glanced sideways at him and his eyes accidentally landed on the spot where some skin was showing.
"Don't be too excited", Sam said.
"No, it's just... Tonight I'll break up with Paul. I mean we're not officially together but still I have to say goodbye... ugh, I just hate things like that."
Sam nodded while his heart took up speed, much, much speed. Yes, good, break up with Paul. He glanced at Blaine again and met his eyes. Out of shock Sam quickly looked away again. He would wait until Paul was gone. Then he would say something.
It was Monday now and that meant since exactly one week nothing had gone down. Blaine had broken up with Paul on Friday and they had spent Saturday together and Sam had figured Blaine needed some time to recover. But a few days were enough, right, he and Paul hadn't been really close.
"No more homework ever! And almost no school, too!" Sam said as he came into Blaine's room that night.
"Yes, it's great!" Blaine nodded with a happy smile. Sam sat down next to him and pretended to look at one of the comics that were lying on the bed. But then he leaned forwards, aiming for Blaine's mouth.
"Mh!" It took Blaine by surprise. He put his hand on Sam's chest and pushed him back. Not much, only a few inches to break the kiss. Their eyes met and this time Sam didn't back out of the contact. No, it was Blaine who looked away after a moment.
"We... should stop that."
"What? Why?"
Blaine shrugged. "Because things are changing?"
Sam leaned back and drove a hand over his mouth.
"It's just... I mean it was nice while it lasted" Blaine mumbled.
Oh fuck. Now he had lost Blaine's admiration. He should have seen it coming. People always stopped liking him sooner or later. But he wouldn't cry or make a scene. He wanted to keep the friendship with Blaine, that was the most important thing anyhow.
"I told you so."
Ryder shook his head. "This doesn't make any sense. Did you tell him about your feelings?"
"No, we didn't get to that and…"
"Maybe that's the reason. He thinks you're just experimenting and doesn't want that anymore. If he knew…"
"No, stop it! Blaine doesn't like me anymore, end of story." Sam didn't stop his sit-ups while he talked but Ryder let himself fall to the ground.
"I can't believe that."
"Your problem, man."
When they came out of the locker room Sam got a heart attack. There in the middle of the hall stood old Glee club members as in Rachel, Mercedes, Puck, Finn... Kurt.
And Blaine was standing right next to him, talking and smiling and... Shit. This wasn't happening. Blaine hadn't gotten rid of both Paul and Sam to get back together with Kurt... right?
Sam felt a hand on his shoulder and looked into Ryder's sympathetic face.
Sam turned to put his sport clothes into his locker. Damn, did he have to talk to them now? He wasn't in the mood to talk to friends and smile and be happy. But Puck and Finn had already spotted him and the girls were glad to see him, too. Even Kurt. Sam got through all hugs and the small talk even though Blaine didn't even look at him once.
"Fight for him", Ryder whispered as they all took off to the choir room.
"I don't stand a chance when he wants Kurt back!"
"Yes. You do."
Ryder seemed really convinced. Sam observed Blaine's dumb behavior around his ex and suddenly remembered that Blaine once mentioned he didn't want Kurt back. Maybe he was desperate now or something? But whether it was true or not he should know about Sam's feelings before he made this decision.
They all took seats and Ryder hurried past Blaine to plump himself down on the chair next to Kurt. He grinned like a maniac at Blaine who frowned at him.
"What…?" Blaine looked a bit lost now that there was no seat next to Kurt free. He looked at Mercedes as if to ask her to move but then simply sat down next to Ryder. Of course Sam took the chair to Blaine's right then.
"Hey, I need to ask you something totally important", he said. Only after a few moments Blaine reacted and turned to him.
"Sorry, what?"
"This is not how I ever planned to do it but… Will you go out with me?"
Blaine frowned. "Where do you want to go?"
"Breadstix?" Sam gulped down his excitement. Blaine understood what he had been asked, right?
Now the black haired boy smiled and nodded.
"Of course we go to Breadstix tonight", he said. "Our friends are in town and they'll want to go out."
Sam cleared his throat. "Well, actually I meant… you and me only. As… as a date."
"Sam. It's our duty to entertain our friends." Blaine shook his head while Sam crossed his arms.
"Are you doing this on purpose? Because no one can be that oblivious! Should I go down on one knee so that you finally get it?"
Blaine looked shocked. "Why would you…"
Sam caught Ryder's eyes because the boy was following the conversation without hiding his interest. Oh great, now he had a listener. Luckily everybody else was busy chatting with each other and Mr. Schue wasn't here yet.
"Dude, man", Ryder whispered. "He's asking you out. On a date. Romantically. Say yes." He nudged Blaine's arm but Blaine just stared with big eyes at Sam.
"I… why? We agreed to stop it", Blaine said. "I mean you wanted to make some experiences. I mean you are straight. And…"
"Don't ask too much, just say yes."
"Ryder", Sam said reproachfully. The brunet shrugged and Sam focused on Blaine again.
"I'm sorry, Sam, but… I can't."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, we're friends and it would be weird?"
"Friends who make out", Sam said. Mr. Schue entered the room now and loudly greeted the former Glee club members but Sam didn't take his eyes off of Blaine, and after some time the black haired boy turned his head to Sam again.
There wasn't much to say. Sam didn't know how Blaine felt about him but he'd like to believe Ryder in that point. At least he had told Blaine about his own feelings now. And Blaine finally had gotten it. Now he just needed to give Sam an answer.
But Blaine just shook his head.
Damn, it got exhausting to get rejected. Sam threw a look to Ryder and silently cursed him. Someone pulled on his sleeve so Sam turned his attention back to Blaine.
"Can we meet up before Breadstix, though? I need to talk to you."
"Yes. Perfect!" Sam said. "Because I need to talk to you, too."
Now Sam had one more chance and he hoped he wouldn't blow it.
Sam had several opening sentences in his pocket as he went to Blaine's but from all the ways how their conversation could start he hadn't imagined it to go down like that.
"I'm going to ask him to marry me!" Blaine blurted out, bouncing happily up and down on his bed.
"Who, Paul?"
Blaine shook his head.
"Me then? Now that spoils the surprise a bit…"
"Don't play dumb, Sam! Kurt of course."
"Why on earth would you do that? You're not dating. You don't love him. You are too young to get married, anyway."
"Look who's talking!"
"I regretted my marriage to Brit the minute the world didn't go down!" Sam defended his stupid action. "Also it was Christmas!"
"Are you supporting me or not?" Blaine crossed his arms and looked pretty cross. For exactly one second Sam thought about being a good friend and affirming it but he couldn't do it. So he crossed his arms, too.
"This is stupid and you know it. I'm not letting you get married."
Blaine's thick eyebrows soared. "You're not letting me, oh really?"
Sam drove a hand through his hair. "Look. Can you listen me out before you do anything?"
"You can't say anything to change my mind, Sam." Blaine got up continued glaring at the blond.
"What if I tell you that…" Sam took a deep breath. Now or never. "That I love you?"
"Oh really, is that so?"
"Yes!"
Blaine shook his head. "Nice try, Sam."
He sighed.
"Look, I need Kurt now. I need a serious relationship that can give me what I need, closeness, intimacy and love. Why don't you want me to be happy?"
"But I do want you to be happy! That's just why! You would never be happy with Kurt."
"Sam." Blaine's voice got darker and normally Sam would've given in. But this was too important now.
"I can give you what you need. Closeness and intimacy and love. I am able to feel and share all that. This is not a joke, Blaine, please."
But Blaine, once again, shook his head. "This is ridiculous, Sam. All this time you were just curious and now you're telling me you love me? Do you really think I'd fall for that? Just how much do you hate Kurt?"
"It's not a joke", Sam whimpered with tears in his eyes. Why wouldn't Blaine believe him? He opened his heart and finally confessed his feelings and Blaine laughed about it. How cruel.
"Let's get ready for Breadstix, okay?"
Sam shook his head. He couldn't watch Blaine and Kurt laughing with each other while his own heart was bleeding. He had tried his best and failed.
"Sam, I want you to be there with me."
"Why? You've got Kurt." Sam turned around and left the room. He didn't have to do that. He was nice and patient often enough, maybe too often.
A few days later school ended. The good point of that was that the former Glee club members went away again, with them Kurt. The bad thing was that Sam didn't see Blaine anymore without going to his house. And since they had talked in the choir room Blaine hadn't spoken to him. Sam didn't know where they stood, once again. But they had made plans to move together to New York, sure that wasn't called off?
He was still Blaine's best friend and had a right to talk to him. So Sam called him.
"So... uhm... what about our move?"
"What about it?" Blaine asked. "Will you come over later?"
Oh right. Now that Kurt was gone Sam was welcome again. But who was he kidding, of course he would go.
"Tina is throwing a senior-goodbye-party", Blaine said.
"Good for her." Sam wasn't really interested in parties right now. He was lying on Blaine's bed as if nothing ever had happened, hands folded behind his head and his eyes glued to the ceiling. Blaine was packing.
"We should go. It's our obligation, I mean, we are seniors, too", Blaine said.
"Did you ask him?" Sam turned to lie on his side and watched Blaine, who pursed his lips. "To marry you, I mean."
"No."
"Why not?"
Blaine shrugged. "We aren't even dating."
"Uh, so you realized it."
"Shut up." Blaine threw a towel at Sam. It landed on his legs and Sam laughed about it. He kept watching Blaine until the other realized it and blushed.
"Stop it", he mumbled.
"I can't. You didn't ask him."
Blaine folded a shirt and put it into his suitcase.
"What are you packing for? Will we go to New York soon?" Sam asked.
Blaine cleared his throat. "We will go soon. But before I will go there for a few days, alone."
"You mean to be with Kurt."
Blaine exhaled and he sat down on the bed. "I just..."
"It's okay. I get it." Sam gulped heavily. "But you believe me, right?"
"I don't know what to believe anymore, Sam."
And Sam didn't know what to say anymore. He rolled on his back and suppressed his urge to cry. He pressed his hands on his eyes and inhaled deeply.
"You could believe me that I want to hold you", he whispered, more to himself. "That I want to be there for you, share every tear and every joy with you. Be with you all day long, every day. Kiss you, hug you, cuddle you. Be your proud boyfriend."
He took down his hands and looked at Blaine. "If that is not enough for you then you're right, then I can't give you what you need."
Blaine's eyes went all emotional. Sam held them. Now he had opened up completely. If Blaine said no now it would hurt all the more. But at the same time Sam hadn't said it to convince him, just to get it off his chest. And that alone felt good.
After some time Blaine turned away. "Let's go to the party."
Two days later Sam lay on his bed. Blaine hadn't called when he had been in New York and also not when he had come home; but Sam knew he had to be home by now. So this was what a broken heart felt like. As if he was dead, only alive enough to feel pain and see Blaine's face would marry Kurt soon. Oh shit, this couldn't be happening!
Sam hadn't talked to his other friends either. The only one who sometimes tried to call him was Ryder. But who cared about Ryder? He would get the news about the wedding soon enough. So Sam's phone as stayed lonely as he was, lying on the desk and playing the melody of 'Ghostbusters' until Ryder stopped trying.
Someone knocked on his door.
"Sam, you have a visitor!" his mother called.
"I'm not in the mood!"
"Sam, please, let me in", Blaine's voice said. Sam's heart sped up but it was a bad, treacherous heart. He didn't want to see or hear Blaine.
"No, go to Kurt! He is everything you need and so on."
"Can we talk about that?"
"Nothing to talk about." Sam crossed his arms. He would stay strong and not let Blaine in.
"You're wrong."
"Phh."
"Sam…" Blaine lightly knocked against the door. After a long time in that Sam didn't answer his phone started to ring.
'I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all.'
Shit. Sam jumped up to silence his phone but he doubted Blaine hadn't heard it. Not that Sam still had something to hide.
When Sam turned around the door was open and Blaine stood there, looking at him with big, emotional eyes.
"You weren't supposed to hear that", Sam said.
"Please, can we talk?"
Sam shrugged. Now that he saw Blaine he couldn't say no anymore. He made a gesture that Blaine should come in completely and went to his bed where he sat down on.
"I'm sorry I didn't believe you", Blaine started, pacing the room.
"Oh, so you do now?"
"I was in New York with many of my friends but I felt as lonely as never before", Blaine said. "And I couldn't stop thinking about your words. I was angry with you for that cruel lie but then I remembered it's you and you don't lie to me and what if you really meant it? Sam, I just didn't want to believe it because it sounded too good to be true, you know?"
"What about Kurt?"
"You were right. I don't love him anymore."
"Oh." Sam bit his lip. "Then why…"
"Because I was stupid, Sam." Blaine wrung his hands and pleaded at him. For the first time Sam allowed himself some hope.
"So you're here to…?"
"To beg you for forgiveness and ask you for another chance."
Sam nodded and put on his best serious 'thinking-about-it' look. "What about all those things that you need but I can't give you?"
"Of course you can give me what I need, Sam. In fact, only you can give me that because I just need you." Blaine sat carefully down next to Sam, who pursed his lips.
"That sounds incredible cheesy."
Blaine smiled and nudged his arm. "It's true. All this time I pined after you so when you first kissed me I talked myself out of getting my hopes up and… well, Sam, you said you're curious so…"
"I know. I couldn't tell you. But I like you, like, really much. Since months already. I tried to tell you but it never worked."
"Oh." Blaine exhaled and observed him. "What now, Sam Evans?"
"Hmmm." Sam rubbed his chin. "We could be… boyfriends?"
The smile that spread over Blaine's face was not only world-lightening but also made all of Sam's bad feelings go away.
"I'd like that", Blaine said.
"Oh, wow! Cool! Great! Perfect!" Sam took Blaine's hand and intertwined their fingers. He always had wanted to do that and now he could. It was the best feeling ever to sense how those soft fingers fit perfectly into his hand.
skywalker94: he's my boyfriend now :-D
hot&sexy: wow! How cool is that? Congrats!
skywalker94: thx for ur help, man
hot&sexy: I'm a girl but whatever
Oh yeah, Sam remembered something about being gay for girls.
skywalker94: ok! i'm Sam, btw
hot&sexy: hi Sam! I'm Dani and yes that's a girl's name
Sam chuckled. He didn't have time to answer, though, since Blaine came back from the bathroom and Sam preferred to not let him know he had chatted about him so he quickly closed the window.
"I just thought about how great everything is", Blaine said. "We will both go to a college in New York, and that means we can life together! Well, if you want to."
He sat down on Sam's bed and looked unsurely at him. Sam got up and went to him.
"Are you kidding me? That sounds awesome!"
He laid an arm around Blaine's shoulders and kissed his cheek. It was so cute how Blaine blushed from such an innocent gesture.
"Yeah?" he said.
"Yes, positive", Sam said. Blaine giggled and laid his head on Sam's shoulder. They both sighed contently. Yes, the future would be good, so good.
The end