I didn't want to be his best man; I wanted to be his man.
I didn't want to be his best friend; I wanted to be his boyfriend.
"Choose Eric, he's your brother, he should your best man." I told Cory sweetly sitting on his bed in our dorm, my smile masking the real reason. Best mans, bride maids dresses, cakes, halls, it was starting to sink in. I always thought Cory and Topanga were a just playing house. I hoped that she would leave. I hoped Cory would grow out of this Topanga thing. I knew he loved me. I every time he kiss me, held me, touched me. I couldn't understand how this was really happening.
"Your okay with that?" Cory asked.
"Yea" I shirked. I couldn't be his best man. I couldn't stand there and watch the man who I love become someone else's husband.
Cory put his arms around me. Damn I love his big warm arms.
"You're the best person in world. I don't know what I would do without you." Cory squeezed me tighter. Damn he's strong.
"You're getting marred…" I nuzzled my face in his neck.
"Yea, I know." He cheered still holding me.
"Don't we need to talk? About us?" I whimpered.
Cory said nothing just squeezed me tighter
"Cory did you just hear me?"
"Please be my best man?" He said, "Shawnie, you're my best friend, please be my best man?" He nuzzled his face in my chest. Then he chuckled "We both know if Eric's the best man, he'll set something on fire."
Cory's hand moved down my back. He kissed my neck.
"Okay Cor, I'll do it."
That's Cory, always able to distract me. Always able to get me to forget all the serious issues. Always able to make me feel safe.
We raised our heads to each other.
"Cor…" I started but Cory pressed his lips mine and slipped his tongue in my mouth. Damn it, I loved kissing him. I've loved it since we were 15. We could talk later.
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My eyes slightly opened to see 9:32 am in bright red letters. Cory was next do me doing the quiet snore I've grown to known. I grabbed my bed sheet and sank face into my pillow. I should be happy, lying here as a college student, the man I've love since I was 12 holding me tight.
But of course I'm too jaded, too hard to please, I couldn't be ever happy. I looked back at Cor, at the peaceful look on his face. If we could stay like this forever, maybe I could be happy. But this couldn't be forever.
We hadn't had that talk I wanted. Cory spent the last week running around with Topanga with wedding plans. The only time he spent with me was either bossing me around or fucking me. I usually wouldn't mind the second thing, hell usually I would have loved it. But I knew Cory was just using sex to get to shut me up. I turned to face Cory, he looked so happy and peaceful sleeping. My heart sank, thinking if this was going to be last time I would see him in the morning.
"Cor, why are you doing this do me?" I whispered.
"What?" he said still half sleep.
"Why are you marrying Topanga?"
Cory took a deep breath, "because that's how its suppose to be"
"Do you love her?"
"I love her, yea"
"Do you love me more?"
He was silent. Then he sat up, "We should be get going. We have a big day."
Either of us could ignore the elephant in the room.
Today was Cory's wedding day.