Title: Family (1/1)
Summary: Zack thinks about Tinga and her family, and his relationship with his own.
Characters: Zack, Tinga, Charlie, Case. Minor mention of Krit.
Spoilers: Hit a Sista Back
Rating: PG.
Disclaimer: Cameron and Eglee.
Date: May 15, 2001.
Zack had set up on the roof of the building across
from Charlie's apartment. The position allowed him a
clear view of several of the rooms, and although he
appreciated the view his current location afforded
him, Zack wished that Tinga's husband had chosen a
home less accessible to unfriendly observers. He had
known that Logan was setting up a new identity for
Charlie and Case, but Zack had not asked where the two
were being sent. It had taken him several weeks to
track them down himself--Zack rather sourly had to
admit that Logan knew what he was doing--but that had
provided time in which to think.
Sharp eyes easily reached across the distance between
them, piercing the flimsy barrier the drawn curtains
provided. He had lost sight of the two for half an
hour while they ate supper in the kitchen. Charlie
and Case had re-entered the living-room several
minutes earlier. The boy had seated himself on the
floor before the coffee-table which had been swept
clear of the papers and magazines atop it to make room
for the boy's puzzle. The father was sitting on the
couch, a book open on his lap. Photos, Zack
suspected. Barring the aura of sadness which Zack
could sense even from his distant post, the scene
looked cozy and domestic. Tinga, he recalled with a
pang of regret, had belonged.
The life which he led had left plenty of room for
regret. What had happened to Tinga was one regret
which Zack had not been able to push away or justify
as necessary or unavoidable. She had needed him more
than she had at any time in the past, and he had
failed her. It had been a hard realization for Zack,
who had spent the last eleven years of his life
believing that his every action had been chosen with
the best interest of his family firmly fixed in mind.
Zack had begun dabbling in a pastime he had hated in
others--considerations of what could have been. If
only he had returned with Tinga immediately upon the
news of the danger her family was is. If he had been
there when the exchange was made. If he had
contributed to the formation of the plan. He should
have at the very least let Tinga know that he would
take care of her family as he had failed to take care
of her.
"Family isn't an option, not for us," Zack had said.
He had led his life with his own version of family
fixed in his mind. Tinga was no weaker than was he.
Had Zack truly been the soldier he claimed himself to
be, he would have distanced himself from his fellow
X5s. They could take care of themselves for the most
part, and though he made some transitions easier for
them, they could do without his aid. There were
situations in which his presence had offered little to
no benefit--Brin, and now Tinga. And yet he clung to
his weaknesses as fiercely as did Tinga and Max and
each other the others.
He had known about Charlie. Tinga had been careful,
but Zack had been able to sense the difference in her
home when he had visited. She had been defiant,
angered by his protests, and Zack had not pushed her
beyond what he sensed to be the limit of her patience
with him. Zack hadn't spoken to Charlie, but he had
been present in the background when Tinga and her
boyfriend enjoyed a date at a nearby restaurant. Zack
had glowered at his lasagna, taking quick glances in
his sister's direction. She hadn't looked in his
direction once that night, her attention caught
completely by Charlie. Zack had thought the other man
to be weak, a bore and far from worthy of Tinga. She
had glowed and smiled and laughed, her hand resting
lightly on Charlie's arm.
He should have been there--Zack had learned to
despise those string of words--when Tinga had her son.
Zack had chosen to leave rather than watch his sister
set down more roots, make herself even more
vulnerable. He had tracked down Krit and sparking
with useless fury had ordered the other man to pull up
and move out. He had driven Krit for days, discontent
growing with every glare Krit sent in his direction.
Zack had managed to infuriate most of his siblings in
the year between the birth of Tinga's son and his next
visit to her home. She had carried Case, her face
soft and tender as she looked at the child, and Zack
had felt a momentary surge of dislike for the boy.
"Her name is _Tinga_," Zack had informed Charlie,
hard-edged pleasure beneath the words. He had clamped
his hand around the man's neck and had fought not to
snap Charlie's neck. He had used Tinga's name and his
own easy strength to impress upon the other man that
Tinga was not his. Tinga was a part of Zack's
family--she was his, and she could not forget what
they were, what all of them meant to each other. He
had thought he had acted in that moment out of anger
at Tinga's weakness. He had come to see in the weeks
he had spent searching for her family that he had
acted to protect his own weakness.
Case had looked up from his puzzle and was speaking
to his father. He rose and clambered onto the couch,
snuggling into Charlie's arms. A small hand settled
onto the open pages of the album Charlie had been
flipping through. The boy turned his face up towards
his father, lips forming around questions. Charlie
rested his hand on the back of the boy's head, looking
into the child's upturned face. Zack looked away,
staring at his hands which lay flat against the cement
barrier before him.
Zack loved Tinga--he could admit as such within the
safety of his own thoughts. He had not managed to
demonstrate his caring well thus far. She had created
a family of her own, and he could love them for her.
Zack owed her that much. He refused to fail his
sister again. When she was freed--and he would free
her, he would fulfill a promise he had failed to
follow through with for Brin--she would not return to
the world to find that those she loved enough to give
herself up for had been in any way injured.
He was their CO. He was their brother. He loved his
family--it was time that he started acting as if he
did.
~end~