EDIT 2016
Obsession is Green
Obsession is a green-eyed monster that eats away at you. It is envy, lust, jealousy, and greed all rolled into one - some sort of dark package which any insane person is only too willing to open.
What gives your life meaning here?
It must be those green eyes – the soulful – no soulless pair. One obscured by glass. I am sure you look at the world through it darkly.
And I envy the red that brought a flame of life into your existence. Which made you walk and talk and live and smile.
How often I sit here, in front of the screens, to watch you smile and smile again amid the screaming matches, the fighting, the hardships, and the setbacks. I sit here hour after hour – whenever I can. My spare time is spent on you.
Yes. If this is obsession, then these pangs of longings have never been sweeter.
It's on nights like these that I dream of you. After all, what do I have but flashes of stills, movies, and pictures bound in silence?
I can not fully taste your pale sweet skin, nor run my hands through your chestnut hair, nor can I place my lips on yours.
No. It is in my dreams that I ease you back onto my pillow, and pinning your hands above your head, lean forward, and steal that kiss away from you. Somehow, I know you are naked and as I touch you, you press yourself into me.
Wait. That is but a dream.
Reality is...
Reality is a youkai hag, several soulless doctors, and little else but Bunny. And you, as you draw near, are triumphant in your independence and strength. In your own, quiet way.
You have found someone to fight for. Someone to live for. Someone to go all out for – even if it meant losing control for a few seconds.
How much you have to lose! How much I hope to take away from you!
But still, you remain unreachable to me – a mirage – an illusion of the eye.
Or not. Whose to know? I have never spoken to you, except in my mind.
For there is no god to keep us in his prayers, no god to make things right. There will be a day of reckoning, I'm sure, in which I will pay for all my sins. Or not.
Whatever the case may be, one of those misdeeds, I hope, I pray, will be the day, I take you as my own.
Obsession, after all, is deaf. And the screams you cry out, as I plunge into you, as I take ownership of you, will be unheard.
That is, if I get you.
My green-eyed beauty.
Cho Hakkai.
My Hakkai.
I will.
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