Never Let You Go
The white moonlight poured into the room through a window. Under the soft light, the hand-painted child on the wall looked more vivid, as he was attentively listening to someone with a smile. An off-white cabinet in the corner was filled with photos which almost recorded all of great moments in their life. In those pictures, they smiled or laughed. They rode horses on the beach, fished in Monterey, and rode on the roller coaster. Beside the cabinet, a little boy lay on the pure white child's cot with his mother side by side.
"Mom, can you tell me another story?" Jackson put his plush little teddy bear aside and stretched his little arms around Rose's waist. He looked at her with wistful eyes.
Rose glanced at a red alarm clock on the bedside table. "No, sweetheart, now you need to sleep, it's almost midnight," Rose whispered, and she bent her head, kissing his face.
"But I want to wait for dad," Jackson mumbled. "I haven't seen him for five days."
"Well, I promise you that your dad will wake you up tomorrow morning," she said with a determined look and entwined her little finger with his. "So go to sleep, okay?"
After Jackson fell asleep, Rose quietly turned off the light and closed the door. She backed to the living room, wearily dropping down into a light brown couch by the window, as if she had worked hard for a whole day. The wooden easel next to the couch was coated with dust. An unfinished hand-drawn rose left on the canvas. But the red roses on the window had faded. An old pendulum clock was swinging in the shadow and made a sound, just like a gentle lullaby. The dim light from a small bulb on the ceiling made her drowsy. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples gently.
Suddenly, it began to rain outside. She opened her eyes, looking out of the window. The sky was dark and covered with clouds. Even the flowers and grass in the garden also looked duller. She did not see any one walking on the dark street. All of those made her uncomfortable and afraid. She felt the room was cold just like the terrible night she experienced on the Titanic.
But looking at the Heart of the Ocean, she became calm. She thought of the pleasant moments she had with Jack on the Titanic. We ran on the deck, talking about our past life, just like two happy carefree kids. I had never thought I would learn how to spit like a man. When we danced in steerage, how happy we were. She heard the sound of rain on the window and still stared at the Heart of the Ocean. Do I really love this kind of life? The question suddenly came into her mind.In fact, recently she often was confused and doubted of herself. She thought that maybe she was bored with this life gradually, although she desired to live with Jack in the past. She kept thinking this question and tried to find the answer, but she could not. It only made her more uncomfortable.
Then, the wind blew in through the open door. The flowered coarse curtains blocked her view and interrupted her thought. Jack rushed into the door. "Damn it! Nothing is going right," Jack shouted and took off his casquette, quickly shaking the rain off his faded plaid shirt and brown suspender trousers. The old couch was soaked by the rain and turned dark from light brown. From the holes, the rain wet through cotton. Due to his movement, the wooden floor creaked, as it was complaining.
"You finally came back," Rose said and handed a towel to him who was soaked through.
But Jack didn't pay any attention to her. "It is so weird that I have lost money again. So weird…" he repeated, and walked around the room with arms akimbo, as an angry tiger which was cheated by people. He looked up at the ceiling and recollected what he had done in the gambling house carefully.
Rose was silent for a moment, and blurted, "Jack, I think you can earn money in another way instead of gambling. What about finding a job, honey? " Meanwhile she did not dare to look at him, because every time they talked about his job, Jack would respond strongly like a volcanic eruption.
Jack moved closer to her, wrinkling his brows, and goggle at her. "Do we have to discuss this issue tonight?" he asked in a threatening tone.
"Of course, we have to. I think at any time this problem is necessary to consider," Rose replied and raised her head, glaring at him with the compressed lips. She tightly held the arm of the couch. "To tell the truth, I am tired of this kind of life. I can no longer bear you to gamble every day, and never take care of Jackson. Why don't you think more about this family?"
"What do you mean by that? You can't stand me?" he cried and breathed faster. Because of anger, his face became contorted, and his lips went white. He yelled and began to break everything that he could reach, just like the enraged tiger escaped from the cage. He pushed Rose away and took up the easel behind her with his right hand. Then he hurled it at the window as if it was all his troubles. The ceramic flowerpot was knocked down with those faded roses. The room filled with the noise of breaking. Rose stood in the centre of room, looking straight at him without any word. But in her mind, she thought of those pleasant moments as if she could not hear his shout. She seemed to see Jack drawing on the deck with a soft smile. She seemed to feel the breeze touch her face. Everything was peaceful, unlike their current life.
"…uh, you regret that you chose me. Now you think Caledon is better than me," Jack still cried and pointed to the door. "All right, go to find him to live the way you want…"
"Shut up!" Rose interrupted him and sat on the floor, as a marionette was cut off its strings. Tears slid down from her face, and fell on the floor. "You know how much I hate my past life. I tried to stay away from it and those people include my mother. I chose you without hesitation because no one cared for me but you," she whimpered and covered her face with her hands.
Looking at Rose, Jack suddenly felt speechless. He stood straight and thought of the pleasant moments they had in the past. What should I do? He kept asking himself in mind. The house became very quiet; they could only hear the sound of rain and their breathing.
Finally Jack went over to Rose, and squatted in front of her. "I know I was wrong, Rose. Forgive me, please," he held her hands, and begged. "I will change. I promise I will change. Trust me." He looked into her eyes, touching her shoulder to calm her down.
After a while, Rose wiped away the tears from her face and slowly raised her head. I knew he still loved me. Why did I say those words? Why I couldn't hold back my tears? I must have hurt his heart, she thought and regretted.
"Look," Jack said and took a piece of paper which was yellowed and crumpled out of his chest pocket. He opened it carefully and gave to her. "Do you remember this?"
"It's Jackson's first picture, right?" Rose said. "I remember we were so surprised when he drew us. But I thought you threw it away."
"I bring it every day, because it stands for our family," Jack said, and held her in his arms. "Rose, I want you to know how much I love you and Jackson. Although I cannot give you everything, I promise will try my best to make you happy. I will never let you go."
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