Okay this is a story for my friend lazybum89. It is a really late birthday present. I asked her what kind of story she wanted and her idea helped spawn this piece of crack. Hope you all enjoy!
A Walk in the Park
"Sherlock! What in the world in that smell?"
"One of my experiments had a rather, fragrant result that I was not expecting."
"..."
"….Shall we go for a walk in the park?"
"Just make sure all the windows are open before we go. I do not want to come back to this—stench!"
*ten minutes later*
"Sherlock."
"Yes John—Well that is not something I expected to see when we came here. John, call Lestrade and then start taking pictures. I think I will actually call my brother."
"Right. That is him right? You haven't given me something to cause hallucinations again have you?"
"Of course it's him John. And you have expressly forbidden me from giving you hallucinogens again. Mycroft? Perhaps you would like to take a stroll in the park near Baker Street? No, I absolutely insist that you come join us."
"Greg, are you busy right now? No? Have you ever been to the park near our flat? Yes, that's the one. It seems that today is a special day, why don't you come and see for yourself? I guarantee that you won't believe your eyes. I know I don't."
*fifteen minutes later*
"You have got to be bloody kidding me."
"Hey, Greg."
"No- don't- is that Moriarty?"
"What is with you and John? You both seem to be unable to recognize the facts today."
"Is he walking what I think he is?"
"I always thought he would go for the more fierce types, you know, like a German Shepherd or something."
"For—Yes! It is Moriarty walking a poodle! Oh, there's Mycroft. Finally someone who won't—"
YIP YIP YIP!
"…"
"…"
"…"
*all three burst out laughing*
*thirty minutes later, back at 221B Baker street*
"You know, the video of Jim Moriarty walking a small poodle that is actually pink just isn't as funny now that you deleted that scene out of it Mycroft."
"John if you value your job and financial security you will delete that memory from you mind."
"Unlike you and Sherlock I can't just get rid of what I know."
"Who would want to delete that? Mycroft you were running for twenty minutes. Running from a small pink poodle."
"….Stop snickering Inspector, it's unbefitting."
"Mycroft, why is the audio of this video so terrible? I can hardly here what's being said. Ah, here we go. I found the full version!"
"You mean it includes the part where Jim's dog is chasing Mycroft and knocks Jim's ice cream to the ground?"
"And the part where he calls Moran and orders the hit on *snorts* Shanon Banana?"
"Detective Inspector from some information that I came upon, I learned that Miss Shanon Banana was Moriarty's girlfriend. She broke it off. I believe she broke his heart. I admit I am not certain that Banana was the last name she was born with."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"It shouldn't be weird to hear you saying banana, but it is."
"Humph."
*Across London in Moriarty's flat*
"Well Shirly, did you have fun chasing Mycroft around?"
Yip.
"Shall we see what they are watching right now? Undoubtedly it is the CCTV footage of the park today. I think I would like to get a copy of it. If Sherlock is still intent on aggravating his brother I should be able to get a copy of you in all your glory."
Yip!
"Ahahaha! Oh Sherlock, I knew I could count on you!... Ah, Shanon, why did you have to leave me?"
*makes a call*
"Moran? Cancel the hit on Shanon Banana. Oh? You knew I was just ordering it because I was angry? Do you mean you weren't—oh you were going to wait a couple of days to make sure I didn't cancel it?...You know me well Moran. Yes, good night. Tomorrow I have a very amusing video to show you. It stars all your favorite people."
Okay. That's the end. Hopefully that was as cracky as I wanted it to be. I am not completely satisfied with how it ended, but….. Oh well. Please review and tell me whether it was completely awful or whatever. As always I have no clue what I am doing.