This is set in the same universe as my first story All of Me. You don't need to read it to understand the story, but it would provide some back-story. You can find it here if you're interested. This story is mostly Dan/Karen, because, well, I don't really have a reason. I guess I just needed to write this. I reread these lines that I wrote, "He left the café defiantly, desperately trying to shed his loneliness like a new skin. It wouldn't happen. That's not how it worked. You had to live in the skin you created." And they reminded me of this beautiful Natalie Merchant song called My Skin…and, the rest is what they call history right?
Title: Untouchable
Disclaimer: Umm…I own nothing. Possibly not even the story.
Featured song: My Skin by Natalie Merchant, lyrics are italicized
Prologue (Week Five)
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand
His fingers itched to touch her skin. He had felt this compulsion before. If truth be told, he felt it most of the time, but he was always able to stop himself. With logic and reason. With thoughts of what it could mean for everyone involved. With fear of rejection. So many excuses that didn't amount to much at this moment as his hand reached out to her soft cheek.
He was sure she would buck at his contact – be repulsed or outraged – so when her eyes fluttered shut and she cradled her face gently into his palm, he was stunned and shaken. Too dazed not to move in closer. Too astonished not to brush his lips against hers.
She opened her eyes then, and he watched as they grew large in reaction. Large but not confused, he noted, as he dipped his head in one more time tasting more than just her lips.
For the past few weeks, she had been his one saving grace. She was the one shining light in his bleak existence. It was cliché and trite. He would even go so far to say it was corny. Regardless, it was the truth. Her words were rational and kind. Beautiful and calm, just like her. Every syllable carried him through to the next day. Every pregnant pause and heavy noise had guided him to where he was right now. He had needed them.
Your face-saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
But now he needed this. He needed her.
They broke apart for a moment. He searched her face as her eyes roamed over his shoulder. What was she thinking? He couldn't tell, but it couldn't be good because her forehead wrinkled slightly in worry. She shook her head and whispered, "Lucas," as she pushed herself away from his broad chest. It was her reason to stop. He knew it. She didn't need to explain.
The words were already flowing from her mouth before he could stop her, so he guarded his emotion as best he could. Built the wall around for which he was all too accustomed.
"No," she said as though it wasn't already understood. "We can't," she croaked in a painfully definite and distant tone. And then in a decidedly weaker voice, "I can't."
She stepped back and away, grabbing her sweater off of the café's counter. "I'm sorry, Dan. This shouldn't have happened." She scurried to the door. "I have to go."
He didn't look back as Karen exited the store. He couldn't.
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
He was too disgusted with himself. Too nauseated by the life he had made for himself. The choices he had made were as wretched and ugly as his life would always be. Alone.