A Couple Days in the Life of Bob
By: Colin K, Angela Y, Kimberly C, Ben S, Connor G-T, Lacey K, Rio N, Collin G, Rafael (Rafi) M, Billy F, Matt K, Abby R, Will B, Jordan R, and Nick S.
One day, Bob was skipping along the sidewalk. HE felt so happy and gleeful so when he bumped into a large crowd of people they just happened to all know the lyrics to a non-published broadway-esk song explaining the happiness of Bob. Oh yah, there was a pit orchestra there too, all coincidentally. After the spontaneous singing finished everybody scattered and went back to their knitting.
"What the…?" Bob scanned the place in confusion. Everybody glared and hissed at him.
"Be quiet and start knitting!"
"But…"
"START KNITTING!"
"No!" Bob protested. He stood his ground while people shot daggers (literally!) out of their eyes. Then mayor Liminade grabbed Bob by the collar of his shirt.
"Knit, or die by Hannah Montana reruns!"
"OMG!" Bob took off running to the nearest Taco Bell while a large mob followed him.
Bob ran as fast as he could to Taco Bell, ran inside and shouted, "Give me all the tacos you have!"
"I'm sorry, would you repeat that," the robot cashier said calmly.
" TACOS NOW!" Bob yelled in desperation for the mob was about to break the door down.
"Would you like some taco sauce with all the taco's we have?"
"No!" Bob shouted as he grabbed the tacos and started to eat. He always wanted to eat a taco and this was his last chance. All of a sudden Will Blanchard walked into the door. The mob leader shouted "FIRE AT WILL!" and the mob stormed after will, with Bob eating his tacos.
Then Sarah Palin randomly came up and juiced Bob. Bob got angry and kicked Sarah Palin's butt out of this story. Bob ran out of the store, with the robot still asking what he wanted with the tacos, and stumbled over Will's unconscious body. The mob came back.
"You people have problems!!" yelled Bob. The mob started closing in on Bob, but Bob still had his grappling hook from when he was a ninja spy. So he shot the grappling hook thingie through a window and ran into an old lady's apartment with millions of cats and crap covered bacon flavored cat food. But Bob accidentally farted a big one because of the tacos and all the old lady's cats died ( they were half dead already from the crap covered bacon) -so you see why Bob never really made it as a ninja spy. But then Mayor Liminade used his grappling hook thingie and came into the window. Mayor Liminade is a ninja spy too, and he started shooting mini George Bushes and Einstein Bobble heads at Bob. Bob tried to use his mini-flame thrower to melt the Einstein's, but the were too smart to be burned, they made a shield out of a hamster wheel. "It's all your fault George Bush!" Bob yelled. And it was. So he burned all the George Bushes and they turned into hamsters.
After that the hamsters were heading toward an orphan home so Bob ate a taco and ran in front of all the hamsters and ripped a big one and they all died. Then Rio came out with the owner of the orphan home and she said, "How can I ever repay you?!"
"I think you know how" Bob replied. Then they were in a party dancing around. Later Rio died from alcohol poisoning.
After Rio died, Bob picked up some DNA off of Rio and made a mini-me out of Rio, making a MiniRio. Bob gave MiniRio his mini flamethrower from ninja spy school. Then Bob and MiniRio went to look for Mayor Liminade. Once Bob and MiniRio found Mayor Liminade they fought and fought until MiniRio got burnt by his own mini flamethrower and… died. "Sob"
Bob took out a cell phone.
"What the," said Mayor Liminade. Bob went on his speed dial and called
CHUCK NORRIS
"Hello, I need help." Bob pleaded. All of a sudden Rafi came in and grabbed a pokeball.
"Go Chuck!" Rafi said as he threw the ball. Chuck Norris popped out (Pokémon theme began to play)
"Chuck," Rafi cried "Use point and yell bang!"
"Bang!" yelled Chuck Norris. (it's super effective) Mayor Liminade got up and summoned Britney Spears.
"Britney!" Liminade cried " Use shave head!"
A buzzing noise lasts a few seconds. (It does not effect Chuck Norris. Bob is now paralyzed, he cannot move. Chuck Norris used Too Tuff and posed in a way that made his beard shimmer in the light. Britney Spears fell unconscious from it's awesomeness. Mayor Liminade was severely injured. Bob's paralysis fell.
"Rafi needs your help" cried an bodiless voice. Rafi joined the battle. Mayor Liminade commanded Chuck to use a final move, Commit Suicide. Chuck Norris dies.
Suddenly Sarah Palin drove through the wall in a tank running over Rafi, knocking him out instantly.
"I need more fire power don'tcha know" she said in her weird accent.
Then Obama called an air force strike, Sarah Palin blew up as the result (yet she never seems to die) as well as Rafi's body.
Suddenly (in a complete change of subject) Edward Cullen came in with Jacob and threw him across the street.
"Bella is mine, mongrel." Edward growled.
"We'll let her choose." Jacob gave Edward a weak smile. Bella ran across the street putting herself in between Jacob and Edward.
"Quit it! You both are being ridiculous!"
Jacob smiled down at Bella, then back at Edward.. He lifted Bella up and ran into the woods. Nic Smith came out of no where and stood next to Edward, facing the same direction where Jacob took Bella.
"What did I miss?" he asked.
In a desperate measure to tip the story back into shape Bella and friends ran away and got hit by a bus or something. Sarah Palin came back with Bob, Nick Smith sat down to watch.
Sarah and Bob walked into another Taco Bell.
"Whoops!," cried Sarah Palin as she dropped her pencil, "Could you pick that pencil up for me?"
Bob looked down.
"WITNESS!" chorused the restaurant in unison. Then, out of the blue, life gave Bob lemons.
"Anyone got a juicer?" Bob asked
"Nope," Palin replied
"Then why the HECK WOULD I WANT LEMONS!" Bob yelled and threw them back at life. That night, Bobs hand hurt.
"Ugh!" Bob groaned as he stared at his hand. It was red and spotted. Cuts suddenly appeared all over them. Bob grabbed the phone.
"Is this what I get for throwing the lemons at you!?" He shouted after life picked up.
"What do you think?! I hate lemons so I gave them to you but you threw them back just because you don't have a juicer! I mean SERIOUSLY! Why didn't you throw the lemons at Sarah Palin?!"
"That's actually not a bad idea!" So life grabbed some lemons from his stash and handed them to Bob. He quickly ran off back to Taco Bell where Sarah Palin was stuffing her face with Big Macs while George Bush served her.
"HOW THE HECK ARE YOU EATING MCDONALDS IN A TACO BELL!?!" Bob yelled in anguish. Palin just shrugged her shoulders and stared at Bush lovingly. She called him over and asked for a scoop of chunky monkey ice-cream.
"Chunky Monkey sucks! Why don't you try Imagine Whirled Peace?!" Bob was still irritated and he was allergic to Chunky Monkey. Sarah scrunched her nose.
"Eww! You like Imagine Whirled Peace?!" Bob and Palin got into a huge debate about the best Ben and Jerry's flavor and pretty soon the whole restaurant joined in. Bob threw a lemon at George Bush, who fell over into Dick Cheney's arms, to take out his anger while everyone else argued
After 4 years of arguing about Ben and Jerry's ice-cream the presidential election became the "Ben and Jerry's" election. (Let's start later in the election, Bob vs. Palin)
"Why do people buy Chunky Monkey?" Bob asked, "Some people are allergic like me"
The crowd went wild for Bob, "Yes, do you have a question?" asked Bob.
"Yes Senator Bob, I do. What part of Chunky Monkey are you allergic to?" the stranger asked.
"The banana part." answered Bob. The whole crowd gasped. When the votes came in everyone unanimously voted for Palin because she wasn't allergic to bananas.
Obama (who had also been running) said, "Okay I will settle this-"
"Palin already one" bob cut in
"-Blue Moon is the champion!"
Bob hated blue moon so he stuck a hand grenade in a giant scoop of blue moon and left. He turned around to see the entire Taco Bell (which just happened to be the place of election) explode. As bob walked away from the ruins he saw his girlfriend Bobet. Bobet wasn't driving. In the drivers seat was Nick Smith!