To all Twilight/Twi-hard fans: I do not own the subject that I write about and I must say that a lot of these words are Stephenie's and I did not steal them, but I did this to make my version just as realistic as hers. I wanted Edward to be Edward, but MY version of Edward. I picked the story back up from Twilight Chapter 11 Complications, page: 226. And I am obviously not going to do every chapter, so if you have any specific chapters you would like me to do (In all four books), then please tell me. Hope you like it.

Chapter 12: Complications

How could we find any peace with a monster like me? Yes that is right, a monster. Bella may never see me as such, but that did not dilute the fact that I could kill her just as easily as I could knock down a tree.

I cringed when visions of Bella's fragile body lying in my arms created a burning sensation in my throat. "No, there will be no mistakes," I kept chanting the mantra in my head, "Bella is too fragile for her own good, though she does not think so."

I smiled as I imagined the crease in her forehead becoming more pronounced, her eyes narrowing, and her delicate, soft lips frowning whenever she thought of her as being someone so fragile and delicate.

Though she may not think so, she is just as delicate as a butterfly. But does the butterfly know just how delicate its wings are? That if it turns the wrong way, surely its wings with rip, and then what? How will the butterfly continue to survive if it cannot fly? Will it find shelter before a predator comes and devours it?

Whether Bella may realize it or not, I can crush her jaw if I do not control my hand and touch her cheek. It seems that the very breath that I breathe will break her just as easily as my hand. While the butterfly has the sense to hide from the hungry predator, Bella does not seem to have the sense to hide from me.

As she should!

I may want to protect her, but that does not mean that I am not dangerous.

I sighed as I parked the car in the garage, ignoring Rosalie's continuous tirade as she worked under hers, "Idiot. Imbecile. Moron."

When I walked in the door, Emmett was motionless, muscles tense, and he was staring intently at the T.V. The Florida gators were playing against the Louisiana Tigers; the gators were winning. "C'mon, one more minute and all Jeff Driskel needs to do-"

Night could not come soon enough. I sat down at the piano and ran my hand across the keys, and instantly started to play that lullaby I could not run away from. In a few short hours she would be asleep and I would be at peace.

"Edward," Alice's undeniable voice rang, "Be careful tonight, Bella is not going to sleep well."

I saw the vision in her head of Bella tossing and turning, eventually waking up every couple of hours.

"I will not stay too long tonight, then." I agreed with myself, as if that would actually happen!

I slowed my playing, "Thanks."

"Poor guy," Emmett thought, his eyes still on the game as I got up and ran towards her house; the night holding no barriers for me.

Even though he and Rose had been married for more than several decades, he could never understand how-how irresistible Bella's blood was. And the love I felt for her was a love that was unique to our kind. It rarely happened, and when it did, it was unbreakable.

Bella was so breakable and I was not; it was a difference that threatens to shatter her every time I am near her. Though her skin is paler than any human I've come into contact with, she is not one of us.

And if I have anything to do about it, she will never know what it is like to feel the powerful emotions, to feel the doubt and the uncontrollable guilt the first time you kill someone, the undeniable thirst radiating throughout every vampire's body.

It was a thirst that led many to kill our own kind, and many to lose our sanity over.

I scaled the wall of her house in a matter of minutes, the scent radiating throughout her room was intoxicating just like the first time I met her. Though her scent is easier to breath than the first time, it is a part of her that reminds me every second that she is not dead and I have yet to make a mistake.

I froze as Bella kicked her sheets; just as Alice predicted, Bella did not sleep well.

Her hair was tossed across her pillow as she turned in her sleep and the creases in her forehead had returned. Whatever she was dreaming about it wasn't pleasant.

"No I have to stay," She whimpered as I settled into the rocking chair.

Her lips pouted and trembled as if she were crying. I felt restricted knowing there was nothing I could do while she slept. "But it's too green and wet."

I fought back a chuckle, she was dreaming about Forks.

"Too green," She sighed, burying her face in her pillows. Then she started to toss and turn in her bed, kicking off the covers onto the floor. I wanted to pick them back up, but soon afterwards she abruptly woke up. I flashed to the other side of her bedroom door, waiting until I heard her slowed breathing and mumbling.

As I settled back into the chair, I wondered what would happen if she found me here, watching her while she slept.

Would she be traumatized?

I doubt it. Knowing Bella, she would never act so… normal.

I sighed softly.

This happened several times throughout the night; I could see circles starting to appear under her eyes as morning slowly crawled past the tree line.

I decided it was time to leave when the skyline turned from a black, morbid color to the gray that held no promises for the sun. I was back at the house and into a fresh pair of clothing before it was time to leave.

"It's supposed to be sunny Saturday. Good enough weather to…" Alice's voice trailed off as I watched the scene play out on its own. The meadow I want to take Bella to will be the perfect place to show her what I truly am.

The danger, the speed, all of it. I do not want anymore secrets between us. She will know my secrets soon enough, including my family's. Knowing her, her reactions will be different than anyone else's. So far there have been no screams to speak of.

I got in the car and soon pulled up in front of her house. I heard her run down her stairs before she opened her front door and walked quickly to the other side of the car.