Screaming Infidelities by Dashboard Confessional

This literati fic was inspired by me listening to a lot of Dashboard Confessional on YouTube a few weeks ago. I thought this song suited Jess after Rory leaves Truncheon.

I always thought that Jess looked so sweet when he lets Rory leave, even though you know its ripping out his heart. I can't imagine the turmoil hidden under that sweet exterior.

I don't own the Gilmore Girls, Dashboard Confessional, or sadly Jess…although I wouldn't mind owning any of them! Please read and review.

I'm missing your bed

I never sleep

Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak,

And this bottle of beast

Is taking me home

She is gone again. I can't believe it.

I have to get out of here! I see her everywhere! Why does she keep following me? Why do we keep hurting each other? I can't be here right now…I miss her so much…that kiss…man…I miss that…I need to get out of here…I'm definitely not going to sleep tonight…

Cedar Bar Redux…I will go there…drown this pain…again…

I'm cuddling close

To blankets and sheets

But you're not alone, and you're not discreet

Make sure I know who's taking you home.

I'm reading your note over again

There's not a word that I comprehend,

Except when you signed it

"I will love you always and forever."

She is with him…the blonde guy who does not deserve her…but she is not alone. I'm alone again. I miss her so much. I wish that I didn't know who she was with. She comes here and kisses me…I can't get that kiss out of my head. I can't forget the way her lips fit on my own…it felt like heaven and hell all over again. In that kiss…in her last look…even in her last lying words…she was telling me that she loves me. She can't love him…she just can't…I know her better than anyone! She can't love him…but she is with him…and it's killing me. I love her…I said those words out loud…for the first and only time. I love you, Rory. Why can't the memories go away…but I don't want to forget…I want to scream at the injustice!

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs

And sit alone and wonder

How you're making out

But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere with anyone

Making out.

I'm missing your laugh

How did it Break?

And when did your eyes begin to look fake?

I hope you're as happy as your pretending.

Well, as for her, she turned fake…she couldn't laugh…she didn't look happy. At that bar with that jerk…when I showed her my book. The book I wrote because of her…she had changed so much. She wasn't my Rory anymore…that's what that guy did to her…then she shows up here…looking not quite like my Rory but closer…happier somehow. How can she let herself be changed into something so different and yet the same...? I would never want her to be anything but herself. Her beautiful, smart, witty, fast talking, coffee loving, book obsessed self. Why can't I get her out of my head?

I'm cuddling close

To blankets and sheets

I am alone

In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely home

I'm missing your bed

I never sleep

Avoiding the spots where we'd have speak, and

This bottle of beast is taking me home.

Even in my bed, I can't sleep. I can't breathe without her. I am alone again. I am in love with a girl who has lost herself. I wish I knew that you were ok. I wish I could see the future. I wish I could fix everything for you. I wish that for once, we could be on the same page at the same time and love one another. I need this love, this care, this feeling to die. I need to not feel alone anymore…it hurts so bad.

Your hair, it's everywhere.

Screaming infidelities

And taking its wear.

I just want the pain of that kiss to go away. I want the pain of knowing she can't love me now to go away.