"Akira, please I'm sorry!"

He slapped me again, but I didn't hit the ground he kept a hold on my arm.

"I don't like hitting you, Yutaka."

He pulled me into and tight embrace, but I tried to push away.

"What? Why are you pushing me away? You hate me don't you?"

"No! I love you!"

"No you don't you little bitch, you hate me!"

"No, please. I love you!"

He punched me in the face and I fell to the ground.

"Go make yourself useful and make me something to eat."

He said it calmly, but he was still angry.

"Okay, okay. I will, I love you, Akira."

"Yeah, yeah."

He went up stairs into his room and slammed the door. I cried. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up hearing banging up stairs, I got scared, I knew Akira had anger problems but he never took it out on anything but me.

"Damn it!" I was afraid of what he was mad about, maybe it was about me. It was always about me; I always screwed up and he would get mad. It had to have been my fault, whatever it was.

"Yutaka, get up here now!"

I was right, I had done something and I wasn't there to get what I deserved and now he was even angrier. I stood up shakily and climbed the staircase. I saw him hitting the wall with a hammer. He quickly turned to me.

"Come here, Yutaka."

I walked over and looked at the hole he made. "Why did you do this?"

"Because, if you don't start doing what I ask, you're going to end up like this wall."

I shivered at the thought of how he would be able to accomplish that. "Okay, I will."

"Now make me something to eat." I nodded and he continued to destroy our wall. I went back downstairs and into the kitchen. I was afraid, he was cursing so much upstairs.

I thought he was going to come down and kill me! I decided to make Miso soup. It was easy and he liked it. As I was making it I was trying to remember a time when things weren't like this.

"Keep you eyes closed, Yutaka." I laughed, I didn't know what was going on but the sound of Akira's voice is was something exciting. "Akira, what's going on?" "Okay, you can open your eyes…now." I opened my eyes, to see a beautiful decorated dining room. There were balloons and a beautiful cake. He handed me a present. I looked at him. "Akira, what is this?" "Happy Birthday, My Love." He kissed me on the lips. "I love you."

I started to cry thinking about this, wondering where it all went wrong?

"Akira! Your food is ready."

He came down stairs and into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and I gave him his food, but he just stared at me. I walked away, only to be grabbed by the arm.

"I love you, Yutaka."

I nodded, and walked away. I wanted to believe him, and I did. It just got harder, to believe that him saying that he loved me. Just meant that he really disgusted me and wanted to end my life so he wouldn't have to see my pathetic face. I walked toward the sink so I could wash to dishes that we left. I was concerned because I didn't hear him eating.

I heard sniffling, he indeed wasn't eating. He was crying. I felt horrible, it was probably what I had done to make him sad. I didn't say 'I love you' back. I walked back over to him and bent down to kiss his cheek. He looked at me. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something but, closed again; he looked at the ground.

"What's wrong, Akira?"

He pushed out of his chair and stood up. Grabbing my hand gently he took my up stairs. We were heading to our room, by the large hole in the wall.

I really had to get that fixed. We went in the room, he closed the door and turned to look at me in the eyes; he kissed me passionately.

Putting his strong arms around my body. He picked me up and carried me toward the bed. Lying me down, he got on top of me, kissing me on the neck. This is the Akira I loved. The one I fell in love with. The one I will always love. His hands were traveling up my shirt touching my stomach and nipples.

I shivered at the feeling. He lifted my shirt over my head carefully. I was completely flat on my back wanting more. He began kissing down to my stomach.

"I want you, Yutaka; so badly." He whispers, I nod trying to take off my own pants. He pulls them down and clean off along with my underwear.

He traveled down my body to penis and took it in his mouth. I gasped loudly and arched my back, he took it out. He started to remove his own pants. He spread my legs and positioned himself, pulling my legs around his waist. He shoved inside of me pulling me up closer to him. He kissed me on the lips, as I wrapped my arms around him holding on for dear life.

As he was pounding in my unprepared body. It was dry, I didn't think he noticed and it hurt a lot but it also felt so good.

"Ah! Oh God Aki-Akira!"

I screamed tightening my hold around him. I suddenly noticed that I was crying.

The tears were coming down fast. The pain was just too much. "Akira, please not so hard." "Shut up." He started to thrust harder and the pain wasn't subsiding. I could feel myself start to bleed, and tried to my best to push him off.

He wouldn't stop.

It just got worse, I could see the blood spill onto the bed. "No, No more Akira! Please, it hurts."

"Shut the hell up!" He just kept going, my body started to tense up at ever thrust he made. Making it harder for me to think of how I was going to get out of this, unharmed. If that was even possible. He suddnely pulled out, angrily and slapped me across the face. I started to cry. "You are so weak, you cry when someone just looks at you."

"Why are-why are doing this?"

"Because I want to, I'm not hurting you; I'm trying to put you in your place. That's all." He smiled as he was putting his clothes on. "I'm going out, please clean yourself up and the bed. You made a mess almost everywhere." I sat up and nodded, he blow me a kiss and left the room. I laid back down exhausted, and tried to go to sleep but the pain was just to much. I cried. I cried myself to sleep.