The Salmon Spewing Seeker
Critics are calling it.. "Retarded!" & "Five Salmons Way-Way-Up!" & "Hey, where's my thong?!"
Critic #1- It's retarded!
Critic #2- I give it 5 salmons way-way-up!
Critic #3- Hey, where's my thong?!
*blink,blink* ..yeah.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Heya! Well, I was updating all my stories (haven't put them up yet, tho)) and I thought up the name.. "The Broom Whacking Whackster!" which somehow led me to... "THE SALMON SPEWING SEEKER!" Mwahahahahaha...!!!!!
Lee- Its gonna be amazing, baby!
0.o *snickers* "BABY?" *mockingly*
Lee- Uh..yeah?
Hahahahahaha.whew, thanks man. Haven't laughed like that in a long time!
Lee- Whats so funny?
You thought I was ACTUALLY going out with you.HA! I was just using you to get to Andre!
Lee- Uhm.Who?
But now that Ive got him, I'm through with you!
*walks away*
Lee- :-o
Crickets Chirp.
Lee- I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Salmon Spewing Seeker
Chapter One- "Awards"
*We find our favorite characters at the uh.."Awards" ceremony. *cough**
Dumbledor-Yoyoyo, home-diggy-G-dogg! An Sh-welcome to da foist annual Hogwarts *hiccup* awardssssshhhhhh...
McGonnagal- Ah, yesh. The wondersh of awardsh! You know...I tried all night to think of a pun involving tuna fish..mushtard..and a can opener..and I think Ive finally found one. When making tuna fish with mushtard and ushe of a can opener, alwaysh "poke" the opponentsh!
*The audience breaks out in laughter, though the uh. "pun" made no sense.*
McGonnagal- But on a more sherioush note, BRUSH YOUR TEETH! ACK!!!
*The audience breaks out, again, in an uproar of laughter.*
Harry-Hehehe.this is fuuuuunny!.
*Ron and Hermione stare at him blankly.*
Ron- How about..we push him..over a CLIFF!
Hermione- How about..We steal his clothes to auction on the internet, and THEN push him over a cliff!
*They high-five each other and glare hungrily at Harry*
Dumbledor- My bra has been missing for daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays now.has anyone seen it?
Draco Malfoy walks by, flaunting a large D Cup push up bra..
Everyone-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dumbeldor- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
McGonnagol-Whew.shesh shosh!!!
Dumbledor- FU FING FER!
Everyone- *gasps* OMG!
Hermione- BUT THAT'S WHAT FLUFFY'S GUARDING. THAT'S WHATS UNDER THE TRAP DOOR! THAT'S WHAT SNAPE WANTS! THE SORCERERS STOOOOOONE!
Harry- Haha, you are sooooooooooooo...
*the next day*
Harry-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.*gasps for air* first book!
Everyone- HAHAHAHA!
Fred- We did it, George! We FINALLY created a potion that gets the ENTIRE school high!
George- x.x
Fred- O.o Geooooorge?
George- x.x...flatulence..is funny.
Fred- NO! WHO KILLED GEORGE??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Hermione- *raises her hand*
Fred- NOT NOW, HERMIONE!! IM TRYIN TO FIND OUT WHO KILLED GEORGE!!!!!!
Hermione- But it was m-
Fred- I SAID NOT NOW!!!
Hermione- *bursts out into tears* DAMN MY RAGING HORMONES! DAMN THEM TO HEEEELL!!!!!!
Fred- HARRY!
Harry- Where?? I like eggs!
Fred-It happens.WHERE IS THE KILLER?!
Harry points at Hermione.
Fred- FORGET HERMIONE!!!!!!!
Harry-But.
Fred- NO! WE MUST FIND THE KILLER.YOU MUST TURN INTO...THE SALMON SPEWING SEEKER!!!!!!!!!!
Harry- Uhm..
Fred strips off Harry's clothes.
Harry- ACK!!!!!
Everyone- O.O oooooh...
Fred puts a leather jumpsuit on Harry.
Fred- You are now.the salmon spewing seeker. *hands him a salmon*
Harry-oooooh.
Fred- NOW..FIND OUT WHO KILLED GEORGE!!!!!!!!
Harry throws the fish at Hermione.
Fred- Nice try, Harry, but this time I want you to throw the fish at the *killer*...
Harry, again, throws the fish at Hermione.
Fred- YOU...my dear boy, need some practice.
Harry-Awww...Im a dear boy?
Fred- Yes. Now..
Snape- I FORBID THIS!
Fred- BUT YOUR GREASY! Snape- Ah. Carry on, then.
Fred- It happens..
~*~*~*~*~
SO whatcha think so far? Ive wrote other humor stories, but this one has basically no plot..hehehe.I LIKE IT!!!
Lee- *whimper*...WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!
Ugh, because, man.IVE got SISQO, now!!!
Sisqo- Yea, dude..why would she choose you over me, eh?
Lee- B-b-but..
Yeah, man.Sisqo is my hot and sexy man beast of thong song pleasure!!!!
Sisqo- Lets snog..
Alright!!! *they ride off into the sunset*
Lee-.....okay, that is SO not cool....
~*~*~*~*~
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Critics are calling it.. "Retarded!" & "Five Salmons Way-Way-Up!" & "Hey, where's my thong?!"
Critic #1- It's retarded!
Critic #2- I give it 5 salmons way-way-up!
Critic #3- Hey, where's my thong?!
*blink,blink* ..yeah.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Heya! Well, I was updating all my stories (haven't put them up yet, tho)) and I thought up the name.. "The Broom Whacking Whackster!" which somehow led me to... "THE SALMON SPEWING SEEKER!" Mwahahahahaha...!!!!!
Lee- Its gonna be amazing, baby!
0.o *snickers* "BABY?" *mockingly*
Lee- Uh..yeah?
Hahahahahaha.whew, thanks man. Haven't laughed like that in a long time!
Lee- Whats so funny?
You thought I was ACTUALLY going out with you.HA! I was just using you to get to Andre!
Lee- Uhm.Who?
But now that Ive got him, I'm through with you!
*walks away*
Lee- :-o
Crickets Chirp.
Lee- I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Salmon Spewing Seeker
Chapter One- "Awards"
*We find our favorite characters at the uh.."Awards" ceremony. *cough**
Dumbledor-Yoyoyo, home-diggy-G-dogg! An Sh-welcome to da foist annual Hogwarts *hiccup* awardssssshhhhhh...
McGonnagal- Ah, yesh. The wondersh of awardsh! You know...I tried all night to think of a pun involving tuna fish..mushtard..and a can opener..and I think Ive finally found one. When making tuna fish with mushtard and ushe of a can opener, alwaysh "poke" the opponentsh!
*The audience breaks out in laughter, though the uh. "pun" made no sense.*
McGonnagal- But on a more sherioush note, BRUSH YOUR TEETH! ACK!!!
*The audience breaks out, again, in an uproar of laughter.*
Harry-Hehehe.this is fuuuuunny!.
*Ron and Hermione stare at him blankly.*
Ron- How about..we push him..over a CLIFF!
Hermione- How about..We steal his clothes to auction on the internet, and THEN push him over a cliff!
*They high-five each other and glare hungrily at Harry*
Dumbledor- My bra has been missing for daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays now.has anyone seen it?
Draco Malfoy walks by, flaunting a large D Cup push up bra..
Everyone-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dumbeldor- HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
McGonnagol-Whew.shesh shosh!!!
Dumbledor- FU FING FER!
Everyone- *gasps* OMG!
Hermione- BUT THAT'S WHAT FLUFFY'S GUARDING. THAT'S WHATS UNDER THE TRAP DOOR! THAT'S WHAT SNAPE WANTS! THE SORCERERS STOOOOOONE!
Harry- Haha, you are sooooooooooooo...
*the next day*
Harry-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.*gasps for air* first book!
Everyone- HAHAHAHA!
Fred- We did it, George! We FINALLY created a potion that gets the ENTIRE school high!
George- x.x
Fred- O.o Geooooorge?
George- x.x...flatulence..is funny.
Fred- NO! WHO KILLED GEORGE??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Hermione- *raises her hand*
Fred- NOT NOW, HERMIONE!! IM TRYIN TO FIND OUT WHO KILLED GEORGE!!!!!!
Hermione- But it was m-
Fred- I SAID NOT NOW!!!
Hermione- *bursts out into tears* DAMN MY RAGING HORMONES! DAMN THEM TO HEEEELL!!!!!!
Fred- HARRY!
Harry- Where?? I like eggs!
Fred-It happens.WHERE IS THE KILLER?!
Harry points at Hermione.
Fred- FORGET HERMIONE!!!!!!!
Harry-But.
Fred- NO! WE MUST FIND THE KILLER.YOU MUST TURN INTO...THE SALMON SPEWING SEEKER!!!!!!!!!!
Harry- Uhm..
Fred strips off Harry's clothes.
Harry- ACK!!!!!
Everyone- O.O oooooh...
Fred puts a leather jumpsuit on Harry.
Fred- You are now.the salmon spewing seeker. *hands him a salmon*
Harry-oooooh.
Fred- NOW..FIND OUT WHO KILLED GEORGE!!!!!!!!
Harry throws the fish at Hermione.
Fred- Nice try, Harry, but this time I want you to throw the fish at the *killer*...
Harry, again, throws the fish at Hermione.
Fred- YOU...my dear boy, need some practice.
Harry-Awww...Im a dear boy?
Fred- Yes. Now..
Snape- I FORBID THIS!
Fred- BUT YOUR GREASY! Snape- Ah. Carry on, then.
Fred- It happens..
~*~*~*~*~
SO whatcha think so far? Ive wrote other humor stories, but this one has basically no plot..hehehe.I LIKE IT!!!
Lee- *whimper*...WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!
Ugh, because, man.IVE got SISQO, now!!!
Sisqo- Yea, dude..why would she choose you over me, eh?
Lee- B-b-but..
Yeah, man.Sisqo is my hot and sexy man beast of thong song pleasure!!!!
Sisqo- Lets snog..
Alright!!! *they ride off into the sunset*
Lee-.....okay, that is SO not cool....
~*~*~*~*~
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!