Innocence, a south park fanfic

A redo of an old Tweebecca or Twebecca fic.

Today was a new day.

A new day for Rebecca Cotswolds.

A day where everything would change for me.

Maybe it's because I was coming of age coming of age or it was the rite of passage that most of my peers have already undergone, but I didn't. Or maybe it was the pressure that my friends set upon me.

I wanted to grow up so fast, I became impatient. I'm not sure anymore, but I had a new goal in life.

Innocence was something that wasn't flaunted nor did it make you popular. It hung over my head, like a storm cloud. A dark, looming storm cloud I never noticed until others pointed it out. It was if I needed that taken from me in order to grow up.

To the other girls, (and even the guys) sex is an award, a medal. When innocence is lost, a person becomes more experienced, hence the award of adulthood. However, men tend to get more Silver Star for their 'valor' and women also get a medal of their own, branded and intend to suffer.

I wanted my award, my medal, my self-assurance of womanhood.

I'm not sure why though.

Everyone just told me so.

I'm not experienced in these acts. Henrietta, Lizzy and Tammy weren't necessarily the 'blushing virgin' type of friends either. When I asked about this certain predicament, they came up with rather lewd situations. Seducing and flirting, playful touches and brushes… And you can probably guess I'm still a virgin.

Y-a-y.

So, when my little group found out about it back in freshman year, I was teased ruthlessly! They made it especially apparent ever since. I was at the kiddies table while the 'big girls' sat talking about sexual acts that had to be illegal. I sat there, not enthralled, but left out and the names didn't help the way I felt either. The storm cloud called, 'innocence,' hanging above my head doesn't seem dissipate either.

After the mockery started to trickle through the last half of senior year, I came up with a little plan. I going to snag up the first guy I could find who was able and willing to date me, no matter what.

Then maybe, I could rest this constant worry.

...And it necessarily wasn't an easy task.

Kyle was first and the first to turn me down, no surprise there. He got angry with me actually… He told me that I had the nerve of showing my face around him. It's all because a little incident way back when... he never forgave me for it and I almost expected it.

It pulled me down a little, but that wasn't going to stop me. I put myself together and I started again.

Token to Butters and even Kenny.

Kenny, the whorebag, the guy who humps anything, didn't even want anything to do with me. Talk about a Debbie downer. Am I… that bad? I know I'm annoying with my constant jittering and spelling tick, but… R-really?

I lowered my standards, scoping out the boys until I found someone so twitchy and awkward that I had to choose him. There wasn't another boy that would be willing, or so I thought.

Tweek Tweak wasn't prime meat by any means, but as of now, he would have to do.

He only dated me because I brought some expensively brewed coffee to school and just happened to sit near him. And I just happened to offer it to him. And he so happened to agree to my little offer to be my boyfriend.

It seems like bribery and it probably was.

And it pained me.

It hurt me… I was wrong for doing this, I know. What kind of monster am I?

...But I needed this. Somehow it would make me whole again. It would make me feel different, more mature and elegant.

And Tweek wasn't all that bad. He had certain attributes that I found attractive.

He was cute and a little gangly. He reminded me of someone who got cornered by a mad cow and was licked to death. Yeah, cowlicks. Bright blonde cowlicks that were fluffy to the touch.

And he had male genitals.

If I say I'm doing it for science, would it make it any better?

Tweek was so trusting and clingy, he obeyed my every breath. If I asked for it, he would bring it and if I asked him to do it, he did. If I told him to steal from his mother, he probably would. There was some sort of attachment but... I wasn't sure what.

The blonde had soon become my Siamese twin after four months of dating. This man who shrieked and twitched and called me at three in the morning, begging me to save him from the gnomes. This man who came to my house every day to make sure I was still breathing and the guy who had horrid coffee breath...

I decided to make my move on him. Besides, the rain cloud wasn't becoming any lighter.

I call my plan: Operation: V-card.

I bet Lizzy would say something witty and funny. I'm not the type as you can clearly see. I'm boring. That's why nobody wants to date Rebecca Cotswolds. That and my name is tainted.

Today was a new day.

A new day for Rebecca Cotswolds.

A day where everything would change for me.

I had it all planned out, like in the movies…

My parents were visiting Mark at Harvard and I was alone playing innocent, 'let's study for our math final together' cliché. Although, I should have really studied for my AP Calculus final, since that was going to be a tough one for sure... at least the college credit was the award for it.

Just a few weeks left and I would be free of high school. One last hoorah too.

But, how does one seduce a man who was so jittery and paranoid? Henrietta suggested handcuffs and a blowtorch and… I'm not even going there. I won't explain that horrifying kink. That's a whole different realm of sex I was willing to go. Speaking of horrifying, Lizzy and the group told me I needed proof that I indeed do the... deed. Of course they said I couldn't just tell, I had to show my trophy. They wanted a picture. When I asked of what, do you know what they said? A condom!

Who does that? It's disgusting. That's someone else's flagella in a silicon wrap.

My friends are depraved, lecherous perverts, they couldn't take my word for it.

But, nonetheless, I was excited and a little scared. I was going to consummate my relationship and finally get rid of this thing that's been plaguing me for years. Maybe the clouds would part and something great would happen.

...Or I'll be disappointed.

When he was busy working out algebraic fractions, I was too busy thinking of how to go about all of this. How did they do it in the movies? I really didn't like romance movies… I guess Documentaries could be a good guidance. The only thing I could think of was dragonflies mating.

...Oh no. Oh god no.

My parents made us watch VHS documentaries since we didn't have the luxury of cable TV. They thought it would, 'corrupt us'.

And I remember being only fifteen, sitting there on the living room in tears watching the horrors of nature through my parted fingers. From what I remember, (or what my brain tried to block out) the male snatched up the female's neck in mid-flight and had his way with her. Biting and scratching and… the poor female was trying to get away and went screaming into the pond trying to end her life and meanwhile frog tongues flung upwards, like a thousand harpoons, basking up the insects mid-flight.

I paled, that imagery really did not put me in the mood at all. I bet I was turning green.

I felt green.

I felt sick.

Tweek spoke up, his head craning towards me. "I can't take it, man! Writing in cursive! And these fractions?! I-it's like fourth grade all over again." he tugged a fist full of hair with one hand and gnawed on a pencil with the other.

I sat, chewing at my bottom lip and clapping my hands together as if was a witness to wonderful Broadway performance. I couldn't hear his voice, I was too busy being petrified with fear.

"Jesus Christ Rebecca, you don't look so good." a hand came out of nowhere, placing it against my forehead, Is your math hard for you too?"

"Tweek… N-ngh, you wouldn't ever… h-hold me by the n-neck, would you?" I place my hand on his, bringing it to my nape. "You know... hurt me?"

Hurt. I didn't want to be hurt, but my actions... maybe they wouldn't hurt Tweek. Maybe.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

His eyes widened in size, his palm caressing the back of my neck jerking away, as if I had combusted, "Gah! What?! No! I-I would never do something like that to yo-"

"Good." With a quick movement, I yanked him down into my lips. This kiss... it wasn't really romantic, like the others I've had. His teeth nicked mine and his screech against my mouth wasn't all that arousing either. But, eventually, his scrunched up lips turned soft and fluid against mine. And when I wrapped my arms around his neck, his body was looser and less tense, still shaking but not as stiff.

Seducing and flirting and playful touches… I used everything I learned from the three girls at my advantage.

Come to think of it, I never really kissed Tweek often up until this point. Huh, I guess when your determined about something you forget everything else.

I don't think that was necessarily a good thing.

There we were, um… kissing and stuff and… Things 'popped up', so to speak. Well I-I was trying to... uh, well, help him disrobe. And… Ngh- When the shirt came off, he was fine. Normal. As if it didn't faze him in the least. I thought it might be easy.

Things never work out that way.

I didn't notice how jittery he had become or the frightened look he was giving me. I-I mean, if I knew… I wouldn't be going so fast but my head hazy and I just… really wanted to get this over with.

My medal was only one garment away.

As soon as I thumbed the button on his boxers, two hands shoved me to the floor. I tumbled right off my hind legs and onto the flat of my back. Where was Tweek? Well, he made a mad dash out the room.

I was laying there on the hardwood floors, staring up at the ceiling in disbelief. One minute, trying to free him from the confines of his undergarments and the next on the ground. It reminded me of the time I begged my parents for horse riding lessons. I was bucked off, landing like this. When I hit the ground I felt alien, I couldn't believe where I was and the wind was knocked right out of me.

Except I didn't fall onto hardwood with nothing but my blouse and my knickers.

Its funny how fast things happen, isn't it?

I struggled to get to my feet, a slight moan of pain leaving my lips. That didn't go as expected. Now, I had to find Tweek. Sure, I had seen him overwhelmed a few times but nothing quite this bad.

It worried me.

I followed the trail of where heavy footsteps laid and where loud 'aghs' and 'nghs' echoed. They led me to the now closed bathroom door. Did I do something wrong…? I hovered by the door, pressing an ear to the hunk of wood. I could hear little cries and snivels along with loud rustling. I gave a soft knock, "T-Tweek?" my voice cracking, rattling even.

I've never heard him quite so shaken up.

"G-Go away! Ngh, jus-just leave me alone!" he hollered, the tics he possessed were more frequent and his voice shaky. He sounded more than overwhelmed.

"Tweek? What's wrong?" I twisted the door knob, opening the door a crack. He was my medicine cabinet grabbing a handful of items, in full manic mode. Before I could even ask what he was doing, the blonde noticed me from the corner of his eye. Tweek's eyebrows furrowed into a livid expression, whipping the handful of miscellaneous things in my direction like an angry house wife.

Unlucky for me, a deodorant stick hit me straight in the nose.

I took few steps back, grasping at my face. "Ow! F-fucking-shit!" It's the Sabbath. I'm not supposed to curse… or have sex out-of-wedlock.

Sorry God!

He shot towards the door, pushing it shut with such force I was sure it had wiggled from its correct position on the hinges. "Leave me alone already!" it was a mix of emotion. He was half-sobbing, half-screaming. "Craig, I want to see him! Get away from me! I want him!"

I felt something warm running into the small part of my lips. I placed a steady hand to my nose experimentally. Blood. My digits were covered in it and I was leaking like a sieve. I pulled at the sleeve of my purple button up blouse, holding it under my nose. I couldn't leave Tweek's side. So, instead of leaving him, I scooted down onto my toosh, curling up my small pale legs to my chest.

I spoke softly, as if I were speaking to an injured animal. "Come on Tweek, it's alright. Everything is alright."

Tweek let out a little tic, weeping loudly, "…I-I want him…"

"Craig? ...what's his number? I-I can call him. H-i-m."

The name was unfamiliar to me. I didn't know any Craig's around school, then again, I wasn't too popular. I press my ear against the door, waiting for his response but he cries louder, mumbling incoherently about how much he needed him.

Hearing the ever so charmingly cute blonde cry made me want to find this Craig guy at any cost. I was Tweek's girlfriend and I needed to take responsibility I was so often pushing aside. I call out to him again, "Tell me where I can find him. I just want you happy."

He doesn't answer and now I had to think of something to calm him down. Since we both had anxiety I thought of things that relaxed me. I scooted close to the door, trying desperately to find the right combination of words. "When I'm close to a panic attack… I spell out a hard word to distract myself."

He was quiet for a few moments before speaking unsteadily, "S-s-spell?"

"Yes." I blushed at the mere mention of my odd tics and mannerisms that I so often tried to hide, "I bet you didn't know that."

"...I didn't."

"Now you know my dirty little secret. K-n-o-w."

I heard a bit of shuffling and things crashing down onto the ground. I could hear the pitter patter of feet on tile and a sound of something brush against the door. He sniveled slightly. "C-Craig always used to hold me an-and sometimes hum."

"I'm not a singer by any means. I can't hold a note. My voice is quivery as it is."

He cracked open the door, a lonely hazel eye peeking out. "Hum for me? I-I can't calm down without it. I can't cal-calm down without his song."

I lifted a finger, reaching out to touch the soft skin on his cheek. I hummed a random, repetitive tone, seeing his puffy eyes up close. I always thought he had blue eyes. Here they were this rich, earthy color. He began to hum along softly, a finger brushing up to mine until more fingers were touching and we were hand to hand. Tweek opened the door, inching out cautiously and hid his face in my chest.

I could feel something warm and wet soaking into my blouse. The poor boy, he convulsed and twitched against my touches. I placed a calm hand to his locks, brushing through them. He did remind me of someone who got cornered by a mad cow and was slobbered to death. Yeah, cowlicks. Bright blonde cowlicks that were fluffy to the touch.

Something was stirring in my chest as I sat there humming. Something like guilt… A weight, like I swallowed a bag of cement. I stopped. Stopped everything, feeling a bubble in my chest expand and expand. I couldn't tell if he was the one sniveling or if it was me. "I'm so sorry. I've never even got a chance to meet you…" I held back a loud, dramatic sob. "I never even knew the color of your eyes for Christ's sakes."

"It's too much pressure." His voice muffled, refusing to look at me. "When I was in a relationship with Craig, everything was different. I knew Craig. I loved Craig. It wasn't any pressure."

It hit me like an arrow to the chest, twenty to be exact. It rained down on me how much of a selfish, thoughtless little girl I've been.

"I thought you'd be like Craig. But, I know that won't ever happen. There's only one Craig Tucker and he's gone." Tweek sniffed, a weak smile forming on his lips, "I'm sorry for having such high expectations."

Craig Tucker?

It was then when I realized how much of an idiot I had been.

The reason why he was so clingy and paranoid... Craig Tucker. I remember hearing something about the incident when I was a bit younger, but my parents must have thought I wouldn't understand or care... or something. So, Craig was... that kid that was in that really bad car accident. We must have all been around fifteen or sixteen at least.

"I know I c-can't be your Craig," my breath hitched in my throat. "I ca-can be...your Rebecca if you want?"

It was quiet. Uncomfortably so. He didn't answer me nor make an attempt to. He brought his fingernails to his back, clawing with an unwritten emotion.

"...You're a beautiful person. I want to know you," I snatched up his hand, stopping him from making long, irritated marks. "I've been such a b-bitch. I-It's like were strangers. But I want to change that. I want to make this right."

Tweek sat back on his knees, his eyes wandering over me, studying me. I thought for sure he was going to dart back into my bathroom and sob, but instead of him doing that, his hands rested on the sides of my face.

"Jesus Christ, your nose!" I let out a whimper as a trembling finger touched the swollen flesh. "I didn't know I hit you. Agh, n-now I'm going to have to move in a trailer park and wear wife beaters. Can you imagine me in a wife beater?! I have bacne!"

My thoughts wandered to the little red bumps that littered his back. I shook off the thought, smiling reassuringly. "I-I think I deserve it. I'm probably your ex now. E-x."

"You want to break up with me?" The blonde gave a few nervous twitches. "Un-unless you don't want to be with me anymore, I don't want to be alone again. I've had a lot of fun with you."

It shocked me. His words were so kind and caring despite his puffy eyes and dripping nose. Could he have really been this sweet? Was I blind?

"I-I want to be... with you."

After that, I had a hunch he knew about Operation: V-Card. But why...? Why stay with me? I guess that was proof that I never really knew him, but I will. I would make this right.

But the following day, my group surrounded me like a bunch of vultures asking about my sexual prowess and nonsense. I decided to tell them that, 'there was more to a relationship than just coitus alone.'

Lizzy gave me a hawk glare, snapping back. "I guess we can't tease you about your poor excuse for a sex life… But we can tease you about how corny you are."

...Well, they don't tease me about sex anymore.

You can't win for losing.

I was still a virgin… But, what was the big deal about it in the first place?

What I didn't realize is that I was already a woman, well on my way to college. I didn't need a few fleeting moments of pleasure to tell me any different. I used someone and became someone I hated. It was going to be different between me and Tweek. I'll be the better person I know I can be. Who knows what might happen?

With operation: V-card failed, maybe something could finally develop between us. Or maybe a friendship... or maybe nothing at all.

Today was a new day.

A new day for Rebecca Cotswolds.