Jack decided to go for a stroll in the jungle. He walked for a few minutes before noticing something in the sand. He went closer to it. It was another DHARMA food drop. But this wasn't like there other food drops. He looked through it and found the usual food and water, just boring stuff. But when he examined it closer he found a huge case of tequila! A wide smile crossed his face as a mad gleam appeared in his eyes. He started laughing hysterically. The beast started coming near him to attack and steal the tequila but then he got saw how crazy Jack looked and got scared and ran away.

"Thank you food drop people!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Evil Food Drop Person: Yes! Yes! Yes! Our evil plan is unfolding! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Jack inconspicuously hid the tequila behind a tree next to the food drop. "Well I better go tell everyone about the food drop so I can seem more heroic. Ever sense I lost my spandex Sawyer and Sayid have been stealing my thunder. Locke has been trying to steal my thunder but the audience doesn't like him because he's a bald loser so I don't have to worry about him stealing my thunder." Jack said to no one in particular. He walked back to the camp to tell everyone about the food drop.

"Hey guys! Guess what? I heroically found another food drop! Come see! Come see!" He yelled when he returned to the camp. Every one started to cheer.

"You know when I find a food drop I don't get cheered on like this," James said bitterly.

"Well that's because you're not as rich as Matthew Fox Josh, I mean Sawyer." Sayid said. "But don't worry buddy, the fans like us better."

"They like me better than you because I'm a blonde." James said. "And I have a totally hot southern accent."

"Well I have a totally hot mid eastern accent and you dye your hair blonde." Sayid said matter-of-factly.

"Shut up. The audience doesn't know that." James whispered as he ran a hand through his hair. The survivors went down and started collecting stuff from the food drop. Jack heroically tried to divide the food between the survivors.

Sayid looked behind the tree where the tequila was hid. Yay! Now I can be more of a hero then Jack for finding alcohol! He thought cheerfully. "Hey guys look what I found!" He said dramatically. "I found…"

But Jack noticed him. "Hey shut up. I wanted to keep the tequila for my self."

"But we must share, it is the right thing to do," Sayid protested.

"You just want to seem more heroic. I figured that out because I'm smart" Jack said. "Tell ya what, we'll share it with the other main cast, but not with the extras."

"Okay," Sayid agreed. Sayid hid the beer more inconspicuously by putting leaves in front of it. After a while everyone settled down and took the food drop stuff back to camp. Sayid and Jack decided that they would take out the tequila out at night because drinking is always more fun at night. (Not that I would know.) Finally night approached and Jack took out the tequila and brought it over to a big fire while Sayid gathered some of the main cast.

"Check this out," Jack said excitedly when the main cast came towards them. "We have a whole case of tequila!" The main cast started to cheer. They quickly rushed to the case. "Now no one tell the extras about this because we don't want to share." The main cast (Who included Jack, John, James, Sayid, Kate, Ana Lucia, Charlie, Claire, and Shannon) pulled out the bottles and started to chug. Now remember, on the island people can hold their liquor better then they can in the real world. Some weird stuff that you don't want to know about happened. But by now James, Sayid, Kate, Shannon, and (quite unfortunately) Jack were shirtless and Shannon "forgot" to wear a bra that day. Some how Locke (once again quite, unfortunately) was some now wearing a hula skirt that appeared out of no were. They were sitting down by the fire slurring the chicken dance song and Sawyer was dancing like a chicken in the middle of them.

"My turn!" Shannon yelled.

"This is boring," Kate slurred. "I wanna see Jack dance like a chicken."

"Do you not think I'm hot enough when I dance like a chicken? Do you think Jack would dance hotterer?" James questioned.

"Maaaaybe," Kate said looking around innocently. James began to sob. Now we know why he never cries on the show. It was not a pretty sight. "Stop being so emo, Jimmy."

"Don't call me Jimmy," he said glaring at Kate. But he couldn't hold the frown long because it gave him a headache. The others started clapping James turned around to see Shannon dancing like a chicken.

"Barbie dances better then pretty boy," said Charlie.

"He shut up, only I'm allowed to call people by witty nicknames Hobbit, see witty," James stated lifting his eyebrows twice as he flashed his mighty dimples of doom. Jack and Locke glared. Oh, how I wish I had super hot dimples. They both thought bitterly.

"Well that's why you're so popular with the audience and I just want to be more popular or they might kill me off," Charlie said.

"I'm popular because I'm a super hot redneck," Sawyer said matter-of-factly.

"Well you dye you're hair blonde and I don't," Charlie said crossing his arms.

"You dye your hair blonde too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Lets play truth or dare," Claire said randomly and blondely.

"Yeah," James said, not wanting to taint his victory on his argument with Charlie.

"I wanna watch Shannon dance like a chicken some more because she's really hot when she does that. Actually she's hot no matter what she does. I still don't get why she choose me over pretty boy Bonne. I'm pretty hot, but let's face it; Bonne's in a whole other class then me. Maybe it's 'cause he has creepy eyebrows. Plus I'm smarter then him, but then again everyone is. I'm goanna keep talking to myself while the author shifts focus to the other characters," Sayid said.

"I don't wanna play truth or dare," Jack whined heroically.

"And now I'm going to finally talk because the amazing and sexy author of this story keeps forgetting to make me talk," Said Ana Lucia. "You don't want to play because you're a chicken, bawlk, bawlk, bawlk, bawlk."

"I thought we stopped dancing like chickens," Claire said confusedly and blondley.

"I'm not a chicken, Jack said. "I'm superman! I just lost my spandex, that's all."

"Well I have my spandex," Locke stated.

"Yeah? Well I look hotter in spandex and the audience likes me better then they like you," Jack shot back.

"Yeah well I look hotterer in spandex than both of you and the audience likes me best," Sawyer proudly stated.

"Not this argument again," Kate said rolling her eyes, but she was so severely drunk that this act nearly made her pass out.

"Are we goanna play or not?" Saiyd asked, apparently finished with his ramble.

"Ok," the drunken group mumbled. "Who gets to go first?" asked Charlie.

"We'll go in alphabetical order," Saiyd said.

"But we're to drunk to remember the alpavet," Shannon protested.

"Let's go clockwise," said John wisely.

"Okay," Jack said. "But first I'm goanna go behind a tree and vomit a few times and then have several dry heaves. I hate dry heaves. Will you hold my hair Kate?"

"Your hair's not long enough to hold back like Jimmy's," Kate responded. Jack scowled at Sawyer.

"Curse you and your pretty boy hair," Jack said bitterly. James grinned mischievously.

"I'll come with you," Said Ana Lucia causing Kate to glower at her. Ana went and help Jack vomit, (though you really can't help someone vomit, because vomit only comes out when it wants to.) They returned and took their places on the logs.

"Alright, let's play," said Jack clasping his hands. "I get to go first because I gave the most money to this show," He said and the others nodded.

Evil Food Drop Person: Yes! Yes! Yes! Our evil plan worked! Now A drunk game of truth or dare will make this show exiting so people will stop watching American Idol and watch our show instead! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!