Donny Gets a Fidget Spinner
"Rise and shine sleepy head," Donny heard, first thing in the morning. "Uhh…" Trump groaned, "Melania, just five more minutes."
"Donald it's Monday, and you know what that means.
Donald sat up with a jolt, "Pancakes!" He yelled with joy, "Oh boy I almost forgot! I'll be down in a sec Mo- I mean Melania."
Trump got out of his PJs and showered all by himself. He then brushed his teeth, using the new Spongebob toothbrush that Paul Ryan bought him in exchange for cutting the EPA's budget.
"Spongebob is the best. He's fantastic." He said to himself in the mirror. "I'm President."
Donald walked down the steps of his new house and let the smell of blueberry pancakes fill his nose. Donald had made Justice Sonia Sotomayor his new cook/maid and she made the best pancakes, for a woman. "They're fantastic."
He sat at the table and Ben Carson tucked Donny's napkin around his neck like a bib. The insensitively appointed maid set the plate of pancakes in front of the man-child. "Thanks Sonia, now back that hot piece of Latin ass over here."
She immediately flipped him off and walked backwards out the door.
Donald just stared at his plate, growing even more orange than before, eventually turning red. His face twitched a few times and Donny started to cry.
"Why is everybody mean to meeeee! Wahh! Nobody likes me anymore!"
"Shhh it's ok Donny," said Melania as she tried soothing her husband. Upon hearing the commotion, in rushed Betsy DeVos. "Is everything ok? I have no idea what the hell I'm doing!"
"It's ok." whispered Melania. "He's having a little temper tantrum, he must be tired. Isn't dat wight Donny? Youwre just a wittle gwumpy 'cause is Monday, awent you?"
But Donald Trump kept crying, unable to be quelled.
"Aw I know what'll make you feel better!" she turned. "Kellyanne!" Called Melania.
A grey skinned, withered slug-person strolled in, texting on "her" phone, "Uh, what?" She grunted from her decrepit face.
As Kellyanne walked over to the sobbing president, she started complaining.
"Ew, why is he crying. You should like, totally get him like trained or someth-"
She was slapped across her witch face, and Donny giggled. "Again!" He yelled. So Melania punched Kellyanne in the ovary, causing her to topple over in pain. Trump laughed and clapped, instantly amused. The floppy sack of bones passed out on the floor.
"That always works." Melania said to herself.
But it was only a temporary fix. Everyone was being really mean to Donald, for no reason! Everyone was hating on him and the media was being so fake. They were just jealous. Sad!
One day, during one of Donald's fits, in walked his autistic looking son (pick one), and they were playing with something that puzzled Donny.
"What's that?" He asked through sniffles.
"It's a fidget spinner." Said Donald's child who then picked at his butthole, smelling the finger afterwards.
"Gimme! It's mine!" He then pushed the autismo to the floor and took the spinner. He bolted out the door, grunting like an ape.
Donald then went on a spree of sexually assaulting the female employees of the white house, asking them if they wanted to "see the fidget in his pants," only to expose himself afterwards. He then was arrested for child abuse and sexual harassment. Articles of impeachment were drafted and Donny was removed from the white house and later put into jail where he was raped by some bad hombres. Many many years passed, and Donald Trump was noted in History textbooks as the worst president to ever live.