Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story.

"So with the expansion of Smash Mansion to Smashville, you will all be able to enjoy shopping, eating at restaurants, going to the theatre, and in all ways doing everything you could do here, but without feeling like your fellow smashers are breathing down your neck. This is all part of the program to give all of you more privacy. Also, they are working on setting up a mail system. In order to reach the town, you will need a car. Everyone may choose one from the existing designs and then personalize it with paint and a license plate. And of course you must pass a drivers test and get a license. Any questions?" The Master Hand looked around (not having eyes didn't seem to hinder him).

"How long 'til our cars are ready, and are there monster trucks, and can we get designs painted on?" Snake never bothered to raise his hand. He always assumed that his questions were the questions on everyone's mind.

"Raise your hand, Snake. I'm going to call on someone who follows that rule. Mario?"

"Can-a we have designs painted on-a?"

Snake smirked.

"Yes," the Master Hand replied. "Ness?"

"Aren't some of us a little underage to drive?"

"As long as you pass your driving test, your age will be overlooked. Your cars will be the right size for you to drive."

Lucas and Ness fist-bumped Popo and Nana.

"Pit?"

"When will our cars be ready?"

Snake smirked some more.

"You will choose your cars this afternoon, and by the time you pass your written driving test, your car will be ready. Luigi?"

"What will-a happen to those who-a break the driving rules-a?"

"They will have their car taken away for however long I please, plus grounding and bad food. Marth?"

"Is there a stretch limo design?"

Snake frowned. "Monster truck, Marth," he hissed. Marth ignored him.

"I haven't looked over the designs yet. You may now go to the computers and choose your cars."

There was a rush for the computers (there were only five). Ike, Bowser, and Snake got three of them, but then Marth said, "Don't ladies go first?"

Ike, Bowser, and Snake all slowly turned away from their computers with glares on their faces. Marth faced them with his innocent, questioning smile.

"Of course they do," Bowser growled. "We were just going to keep those who're less gentlemanly away."

"Ladies first. Here you go, Marth." Snake faked a smile.

Marth was already escorting Lyn through the press. "Thank you, Snake," he said, positioning Lyn at the computer.

By the time the girls had finished, the others had formed lines with the children in front and the adults behind. Samus took a long time, just to upset people, but everyone was finished within the hour. Then they all received a booklet of the rules of the road, and they parted ways to study.

Zelda wasn't nervous about the written test. She'd learned the material and it was pretty simple to remember, if you were one of those people who followed the rules (and she was). She wasn't sure how Link would do. He had gotten bored really quickly, which she couldn't blame him for. The booklet was really, really boring. She had tried to help him by going over the information with flash cards, but he just couldn't seem to remember something that was said in such a formal way; it was too foreign to him. He finally just crumpled up his hat and said that he would have to wing it. She hoped that he would pass, because it would be weird if he asked her on a date and she had to drive. But then again, she didn't really want to go out with Link. Marth was her dream date.

She met up with Sheik. The two were always together, giving rise to the popular saying that they were practically the same. Somehow this had gotten twisted into the idea that they were the same, which wasn't true. They walked to the room that had been set aside for testing. There was a long line of office chairs in front of it. Zelda looked questioningly at Sheik.

"Only one person is allowed in at a time," the masked girl explained. "To prevent cheating. Afterwards you are forbidden to contact anyone until everyone is finished testing. If you pass, they get you a license and take you to see your car. If you fail, you are transported back to your room."

"I'd feel terrible if I failed." Zelda suddenly had butterflies in her stomach. She looked at the other smashers. Several had clearly stayed up late studying. Some, like Snake, were napping in their chairs.

"You knew all the material when I called you last night."

"Yeah, but now it's this morning."

"Seize the day."

"Thanks."

Zelda and Sheik got in line. They had waited for ten minutes, rolling forward a little in their chairs every time the line moved forward, when Link came running up with his hair sticking up all over. Apparently he had just woken up.

"Hey Link," Zelda called from the middle of the line. "Are you ready?"

He smiled when he saw her. "Sure am! Snake helped me study. He told me that the correct answer would always be the most boring and harsh answer available."

"Sounds good to me," Samus remarked from her spot near the front of the line. "But how are you going to get the definitions?"

Link's smile faded. "Uh, I'll think of something." Then he glared at her, "Don't ruin my morning."

"If you fail the test, your morning will be ruined anyway," Samus shot back.

Link got into line, looking squashed.

In another thirty minutes it was Zelda's turn. She rolled into a darkened room. The only light came from the computer on which she would take her test. On the other side of the room she could see the dim outlines of the discarded office chairs of those who had already taken the test. She wheeled in front of the computer, gripped the mouse tightly, and clicked 'Start.'

Seven minutes later, she was smiling a superior smile as Tabuu took her driver's license picture. Then he handed her a set of car keys and showed her through the door to the garage where the cars were.

She looked at the list of license plates. There was her number HYZELDA. She had come up with it by combining the name of her country with her name. She liked that it sounded like a greeting; like her car was saying 'Hi.' She had considered doing ZEL4EVR, but she didn't want anyone to start calling her by her baby nickname. The list said that her car was in parking space B6. She started to go look for it, but stopped. What was Marth's license plate?

There was GR8GURL; sounded like Peach. IMSHEIK; self explanatory. THXBABE; for sure Snake. IAETHER; had to be Ike. SWEETIE; now that also sounded like Peach. Zelda looked back, maybe GR8GURL was Samus. HEROKNG; it would be just like Link to call himself the king of heroes. PKFIREY; was that Lucas or Ness? SHWTIME; was this Snake? But who else used would use 'babe' in their license plate? PKFIIRE; now that was really confusing. ZELSMAN; this had better not be Link. Could it be Marth? She pushed the idea away. She shouldn't be ridiculous. NNANANA and PPOPOPO; definitely the Ice Climbers. ZEL4EVR; oh no. Who could this be?

She was still puzzling over the license plates when Sheik slipped up behind her. "Looking for Marth's license plate?"

"Do you ever know me."

"Why don't you look for his stretch limo in the parking lot?"

"Good idea. I'm getting a headache trying to figure all of this out. But I hate to give up..." She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of the list. "I'll get on it later."

The limo was a dark blue, matching Marth's eyes. "HEROKNG," Zelda read. "Okay. Seems a little snobby for him, but of course it couldn't have been ZELSMAN. If that's Link, I'm so gonna make him sorry."

"Mm hmm." Sheik's car was parked right next to Marth's and she was already inside the black vehicle that seemed to hug the ground. "By the way, there's a paper explaining the basic controls of your car, hanging from your rear view mirror. Don't forget to read it."

"Ha!" Zelda caught her friend's sarcasm. "You're so kind to remind me to follow instructions. What would I do without you? Catch you on the road."

Okay. Okay. I totally know that Sheik and Zelda are one person, but for my purposes I like having them separate.