One day in the zombie apocalypse, Rick was out hunting for food. While he was out hunting, he noticed a farm. When he observed it more clearly, he could tell someone was living there.

"Wow, that is one sexy farm, I am strangely attracted to it" said Rick

After debating it with himself for a minute, he decided to approach the farm. As he approached the farm, he noticed an old man with a huge beard standing on the porch of the farm house. He walked up to the man.

"Who the barnacles are you?" said the man

"My name is Rick Grimes; I was out looking for food when I stumbled upon your farm." Said Rick

"That's cool bro, my name's Hershel, you want to play some call of duty?" asked the man named Hershel

"Oh boy, do I!" exclaimed Rick

After playing call of duty for six hours strait, Hershel started to show Rick around the farm.

"Wow Hershel, you sure do have a BIG farm here!" Rick admired

"Oh Rick, I didn't realize how much you like BIG farms." Replied Hershel

"Yeah, there is only one thing I like better than big farms, and that's big ol' hairy farmers." Said Rick

"Is that right, maybe we should take a look around my barn, if you know what I mean?"

"Sounds good with me"

Rick and Hershel gleefully skipped down to the barn, holding hands the whole way. As they got closer, Rick started to notice moaning coming from the barn.

"Hershel, there sure is a whole lot of meaning coming from that barn." cautiously exclaimed Rick

"Oh yeah, there is going to be a whole lot more moaning once we get in there." Replied Hershel in a sexual tone

"Oh my god, There are walkers in there!" screamed Rick.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. They were my friends and family, but I really don't care about them anymore. Go ahead and kill them if you want to."

"Aren't you going to help?"

"Naw, you go ahead, I need to update my twitter."

Rick was now tasked with exterminating a whole barn full of walkers by himself. He would need some kind of crazy awesome super weapon to do it. He would have to make something amazing.

Rick searched around the farm looking for things to make a super weapon. He looked behind the barn and found a chainsaw. When he looked into his pocket, he found an RPG. Perfect.

Rick took the chainsaw and RPG and duct taped them together. He walked toward the barn, revving the chainsaw as he walked. Rick then used the chainsaw to cut a big hole in the barn.

"I must use all of the skills I gained from playing call of duty for six hours to destroy this barn, because everyone knows that playing call of duty gives you real life skills!" Rick screamed at the top of his lungs.

Rick ran away from the barn to a safe distance and loaded the RPG with a HE rocket.

"Take this you zombie scum!"

Rick jumped in the air and did a 360 degree turn mid air and launched a rocket through the hole he cut in the barn.

BOOM!

"OH YEAH, GET 360 NO-SCOPED, BOY!" Rick yelled in the voice of an 8 year old kid that has nothing better to do than play call of duty all day.

"Good job Rick, you killed all the zombies like a pro and all you had to do was blow up my barn! And best of all, my twitter is officially updated!" Hershel told Rick in a supporting tone.

After all that had happened, Rick felt like he might as well get some sleep and stay at Hershel's house. He slept like a baby and dreamed about all the fun times he was going to have with Hershel in the morning. However, he was awoken by Hershel earlier than normal.

"Get up Rick, you need to see this!" said Hershel.

"What do you want? I am trying to sleep!" replied Rick.

"It's Paula Dean! She is here at the farm!" Hershel screamed in Ricks face.

"Oh. My. God." Rick said in excitement.

Rick and Hershel raced outside to greet their new visitor. On the way out, Rick knocked over 6 plants, 2 tables, and a couch. When Rick made it out the door, he was met with a surprise.

"You didn't tell me she was a zombie!" Rick exclaimed.

"I didn't think it mattered." Hershel replied.

"Yes it matters! We need to kill it!"

"I don't know, if we kill her, we won't ever have another TV cook as good as her."

"It doesn't matter; everyone knows she is racist anyway."

"Yeah that's true, go ahead and kill her."

"Alrighty"

Rick then proceeded to shoot Paula Dean in the face. From that day on, the world would never have a racist TV cook as good as Paula Dean. It truly is a tragedy. Oh yeah, and Ricks entire family dies because Rick was playing with Hershel instead of protecting them.

END