On My Own is a song fic to the song "On My Own" by Three Days Grace, off the One X album. (I know, a very original fic title)
Warnings: OOC-ness, I've been really mean to Relena, twisted plotline, maybe qualifying for AU, Blind Target never happened, and a bit of yaoi, Boy's Love, Shounen-Ai, or whatever you choose to call it. Probably not for Relena lovers...oh, and some angst...
Parings: 1 2 This idea has been floating around in my head since...way back when. Every time I heard this song the scenario popped into my head. It was rather maddening.
Song lyrics are in italics.
Relena moved into the cozy den. She stopped and put her hands on her slim hips. Relena was angry, and the source of her fury was currently staring out the bay windows, some of his brown messy hair falling into his blue eyes. She covered up her anger as she crossed over to Heero's side, wrapping her pale, slender arms around his waist. Placing her chin on his shoulder, she tried to see what he was staring at, while she asked, "Heero, what is the matter? You've been in here for so long."
Heero shuddered as her breath ghosted over his neck. Slightly irritated, he replied simply, "Nothing is wrong."
Tilting her head slightly to look into his eyes, Relena pressed up closer to Heero. "You can tell me Heero." She tightened her hold around his waist. "Please?"
Heero continued staring out the window, contemplating his next words. Out the window the grey clouds gradually grew darker, and the wind ceased it's lazy dance and moved into an all out brawl with the branches of the oak trees on the lawn. Coming to a decision, he drew in a breath. "Why didn't he say goodbye before he left?"
Relena nearly screeched in his ear as she released her hold around him. Slightly baffled by her now uncovered anger, Heero allowed her to swing him around to face her. Her mouth was set in a grim line as her eyes glittered with fury and contempt. "You can't still be hung up on that boy's going away? He said nothing and left nothing. Surely it's clear that he wanted to get away from here!"
Heero stared at her in mild shock. Was she right? Had he wanted to leave? Was he that unhappy to be with his comrades?
"He no longer matters," Relena said softly, her blue silk dress whispering as she drew near to Heero again. "It's just the two of us now." She placed her hands softly onto Heero's hips, looking up into his eyes.
Heero went back over the party in his mind. Quatre and Trowa had been among the first few to arrive, followed soon by Relena's brother. Other important people starting drifting in: Noin, Lady Une, Sally Po, and Wufei, Dorothy, Rashid, Abdul, and Catherine, a friend of Trowa's. Others included dignitaries Relena knew. There had been a tense moment when Trowa and Une had met face to face. Somehow they came to an unspoken agreement for a truce and both moved in opposite directions. Duo snuck in sometime, Heero never knew when. He seemed happy, and interested in mingling with the other guests. Then Heero remembered the covert looks Duo received from Relena.
Looking into Relena's eyes, Heero smirked and leaned down. "He doesn't matter?" he asked in a low voice. Their faces were inches apart. "No, Heero," Relena whispered, "the boy doesn"t matter. I made sure of that." Heero leaned down closer towards her face. "You made sure?" His hands were still by his sides.
"Yes." Relena said, almost intoxicated by Heero's closeness. "I told him to go away. You don't need him, you have me."
Heero's head jerked up at that. Relena jerked back too, finally aware of what he was doing. "Relena," he said taking a step back. "I do need him. I don't want what you do."
"So what?" Relena exclaimed. "I thought you stayed with me because...because..." She swallowed, trying to fight down the rising feeling of panic. "It was a lie? What you were saying by staying with me?" Her throat was tight and her voice was strained. Heero moved across the room, heading for the double doors.
"It is a possibility." He left.
In truth, Heero didn't know what he felt. He just knew that something felt off...and when Duo was near, the sense of...wrongness...went away. This incident between Duo, Relena and himself made him aware of the fact that this feeling of wrongness was not new. He did not know why the feeling went away when Duo was there, nor why no one else could banish the feeling. It was with him when he was alone, when he was with his comrades, and when he was with Relena.
Until now, he always did what he was ordered to do, or what was necessary to the final goal, the mission. Now he was standing alone, and what lay behind him no longer mattered. He forgot what was behind him, and focused on the only road leaving the Vice Foreign Minister's resident mansion. He would find Duo.
Lied too much,
She said that she's had enough
Am I too much? She said that she's had enough
Standing on my own
Remembering the one I left at home
Forget about the life I used to know
Forget about the one I left at home
Duo moved down the street, sullenly kicking a leaf out of his way. It only caught on his shoe and tore on the asphalt. The squall blew the bits back in the direction he came from. He wished he was the leaf. He could just float where the wind took him, no longer caring when he was stepped on, kicked, or ignored. It wouldn't hurt, like he did now. How could he argue against her logic...of course she knew what was best. She knew...
Duo went on, and icy cold rain pelted him in waves. Funny how the weather was. Today started out nice. He was excited about the upcoming party. The sun shone in the morning and he knew the get together would be a blast, despite the fact that a large number of people would be there. War buddies meeting up with allies who were no longer an enemy. The reunion between Trowa and Une had him wanting to take bets on who would go psychotic first. His interest was lost when an obvious truce had been formed. Duo sneezed.
He initially overlooked the fact that he had received no invitation. Technically, since the invitations stated the receiver could bring a guest, he had been invited by Quatre, who had told him of the celebration. Trowa had received his own invitation. So had Wufei. Duo reasoned with himself, thinking that in all the hustle and bustle, it was easy for a guest to be overlooked. There were certainly enough guests there for his invitation to be overlooked. It was natural, it happened all the time. It wasn't unheard of. It could have been lost after it was sent. Maybe the address was written wrong.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, a maddening little voice vehemently raged that his invitation had never existed...The little voice shut up when she had proven it right.
Duo stumbled on, wishing he was in something a little more rain repellent than a thin black dress shirt.
Relena had cornered him sometime during the party. How she had found time in between greeting guests, he had no idea. At first what she was saying really didn't sink in...not till she had brought up L2. That told him she did research, that she knew what she was talking about, and that perhaps, Heero really did feel as she said...that Duo wasn't needed.
The rain lessened, but it didn't make it any warmer. Duo shivered, a bit from the cold, more from the fact that his all to distracted thoughts began to wander. His mind drifted back to before the war. He could almost see their figures standing on either side of him as he walked alone down the road. Some of the other children, from both of his and Solo's gang. There was the couple that had first adopted and returned him. They had been killed in the crossfire during the beginning of the war. Father Maxwell stood with his hand on the shoulder of one of the children that had always been at the church. Sister Helen stood there with a serene smile on her face. Directly ahead of Duo, stood the last ghost. Solo stood with his hands on his hips, the almost forgotten but familiar brash smirk was plastered on his face.
Duo smirked back and walked through Solo's ghost. He was dead. They were all dead. He just didn't want to let them go, let them rest in peace. Maybe he was a ghost himself, and he just hadn't realized it yet. Duo sneezed again, this time a little more violently.
She told him that he was a bad influence. He would only cause a ruckus if he stuck around, a reporter would do the same research she had. Heero did not need to be around such people. No matter his status as a former Gundam pilot, his past would be revealed. Heero did not need to be around such a person. At least the others were respectable. Trowa had no past to sully Heero's name. Wufei came from a prominent family of warriors, who had sacrificed themselves for the cause of peace. Quatre's background need not be explained.
I walk alone, think of home,
Memories of long ago
No one knows I lost my soul long ago
I need to run far away
Can't go back into that place
Like she told me,
I'm just a big disgrace
The rain pattered to a halt. With it's cease, Duo could hear another sound. He snorted, then sneezed, which kind of hurt. The person behind knew him well enough not to sneak up on him - and the only person behind with that knowledge...
Duo turned around. There stood Heero, his rain soaked dress shirt clinging to his chest and stomach. Duo nearly grinned. Only Quatre looked at home in a formal suit.
Duo raised his arm, curling his fingers, keeping his thumb straight up, and aiming his pointer finger right between Heero's eyes. Sneezing again, he dropped his arm. "Go away, Heero. I wanna go find something to knock me out for a few hours. Preferably something alcoholic." Duo turned his back to Heero, intending to walk away, but the ground tilted.
Heero was instantly there, his arms around Duo's waist. "You're underage," Heero grunted, setting Duo back on his feet.
"Doesn't mean I can't steal some from somewhere..." Duo put his arm around Heero's shoulders, stumbling a little in the process. Everything tilted again. He gave up trying to stand and let Heero take most of his weight.
"I think I've repaid my debt," Heero stated, readjusting his hold.
"Not quite yet," came the quiet reply. "I haven't jumped from any windows. That bridge looks promising..."
Heero turned Duo so he couldn't see the bridge, to make sure no more thoughts of jumping from hazardous heights could cross Duo's mind. "Duo, we need to talk about a few things."
When he got no answer, he looked down to see Duo unconscious, either from sleep or the oncoming cold approaching his shivering body. Heero shook his head and tightened his hold on the slight young man, as he walked away from a life and a home he never wanted to remember.
Yay, done. Now I wrote some of this and the warnings at the top when I was on some cough syrup that made me a little loopy, so that might explain a few things. Come to think of it, that cough syrup will be making an appearance later on...in a little 222 word drabble that's completely unrelated to this...Obviously I've chopped up the lyrics to the song, moving the "Heero" and "Duo" parts together to make the story. The "Heero" part is the chorus, and "Duo's" lines are the verses. Listen to the song while you read, it's quite fun...although "Duo"s part comes first in the song...and yes, I think I'm still under the influence of that cough syrup...