Hi! It's I Shikamaru-Syndrome :P so yea this fanfic is my second in my account. If you've read my other one you would see that I LOVE crack paring! They're fun to write about! Before I forget I will warn you there might be some grammar mistake cuz I just typed it up and downloaded it so yea sorry about that. So without ado here ya go !
My Girl Has a Bigger Rack Than Yours!
It was a regular Friday night at the Uchiha mansion. The guys were having their regular "Guys night" with a few special guests. Sasuke had reluctantly agreed to be this Friday's night host (really he just agreed to shut a "special" blonde someone up). Unfortunately he failed to tell his older brother Itachi of this who just so happened to be the host of his "Guys night". After much arguing from the two brothers they decided share the mansion and be special guest of each other's "Guys night". At first the gathering was a little uncomfortable since the guys didn't really hangout with each other but that was nothing a little sake couldn't fix. So after a few shots of sake and a football game (a/n: American football) the guys were comfortable enough with each other to joke about one another. Currently some were playing poker while others saw the basketball game and placed bets among themselves. The ones actually playing poker were: Kiba, Naruto, Neji, Shikamaru, Pein, Sasuke, Hidan, Kakazu and Itachi (a/n: they are sitting clockwise. Kiba being the 12). The ones who were actually seeing the basketball game were: Lee, Choji, Shino, Sai, Kisame, Sasori, Diedara and Zetsu.
The ones that were playing poker were joking among each other, zinging each other and talking about their women. Some were shocked that others would speak about their women when they seem so private about their relationships but the sake helped loosen their tongues. Others were just bragging about their women and their "talents" and "assets". That is how they got to the whole conversation of whose breast was the best. Each rooting for their own women and arguing about the others opinions.
"Well my Sakura may not have the biggest boobs in the world but they sure as hell are perky. Believe it!" A buzzed Naruto said loudly.
"Oh please Naruto! You call those things boobs? I've seen 15years old overweight boys with bigger boobs than her! Now my Ino-chan has fantastic boobs! They're waaayyyyy bigger that you're little Sakura-chan's and they're still perky!" Said an equally buzzed and loud Kiba.
"I gotta agree with Kiba on one thing Sakura-san looks like she wears training bras instead of big girl bras. I gotta disagree with you on one thing though Kiba. My TenTen has the beast breast bottom line." Said Neji like it was a fact not even worth discussing. Naruto looked like he was about to kill Neji while everyone else laughed at what the Hyuga Prodigy had said.
"You guys are too troublesome. What would your women say if they heard you speak of them this way? Especially you Neji. I'm surprised you're even contributing to this conversation." Shikamaru said looking at the guys with a 'are you stupid' expression.
"Aw Shikamaru don't be a stick in the mud! You know you want to talk about temari's boobs too! Though I don't fault you for not doing so. She looks like she would kill you if you did and not to mention Gaara would slaughter you while Kankuro dug your grave." Naruto said wincing at the images in his head.
Shikamaru just shook his head and drank his sake while mumbling something that sounded like 'troublesome siblings'.
"I contribute to this conversation to shut these idiots up with the fact that my TenTen does indeed have the best breast of the group." Neji told everyone with his drunken logic. Even drunk he made everyone in the group except Sasuke, Itachi,kakazu and Shikamaru seem like complete idiots. After his proclamation both Kiba and Naruto argued with him and even made Pein add in his opinion of his Konan. Kakazu, Sasuke and Itachi sat there amused at the drunken idiots talking about their women and their women's breast like that. Itachi felt the urge to contribute and talk of his Ayame, but being an Uchiha meant not contributing to such trivial and vulgar talk so he kept his mouth shut. Kakazu wondered why Hidan was being so quiet during this whole time and looked over to his friend sitting on his right.
He saw Hidan looking at the other guys with a mix expression of boredom and something uniquely Hidan that kinda look like a 'are you the biggest fucken idiots in the entire world'? He had his elbow on the table with his hand cupping his cheek while the other hand brought the sake cup to his lips. Kakazu knew it was only a matter of time before Hidan would say something and it seemed as though the poker game was over so he stood up without a word and went to watch the basketball game and see if he could win any money on the bets that they were doing earlier. The bickering started to get on Hidan nerves an soon enough he slam his hand on the poker table hard enough to rattle the chips.
"You little fucker are getting on my Goddamn nerves! You know what? None of you are right and you want to know why? Cuz My girl has the best fucken rack in the world! Your girls' boobs are nothing compared to my Hinata's boobs!" Hidan said smugly. "If you fuckers don't believe me look at this."
He then took out his wallet and looking back and forth like a criminal and took out a picture of Hinata. In a bikini. Not a one piece. A two piece. Worst of all it was a traffic stop color red. He showed the other guys the picture and the unanimous response of the picture was: DAMN! (Well except Neji cuz it ain't that kind of fanfic )
"Wow….. I didn't know that's what Hinata had under those baggy clothes! How the hell did you get her in a bikini like that one? When we go to the beach she usually wears a tank top and short shorts or something less…..open! " Kiba said with a bloody nose and a pervy grin.
"Oh I just gave her an ultimatum. Either wear nothing or wear that bikini." Hidan said. The smug look still plastered on his face.
"WHAT?" Everyone said. The others had momentarily muted the basketball game to hear the conversation. The whole room was in shock before a killer aura could be felt from Neji. He jumped the table and jumped on Hidan while raising his fist to connect it with Hidan's jaw. Fortunately for Hidan, Lee, Naruto, and Sasuke grabbed him in time and actually had to knock him out to keep him from killing Hidan.
"Now care to explain to us where in the hell did that ultimatum come from?" Asked an angry Kiba accompanied by an equally mad Shino.
"Don't get your panties in a bunch. Listen I was tired of Hinata's pure and shy personality crap towards me. It's cute and all when it's with other people and sometimes it's even useful because other guys don't get near her. But when has to do with me, her boyfriend, its pisses me off! So one day I told her I had a surprise for her and blindfolded her. When we got to her 'surprise' she saw it was a nudist beach and she absolutely did not want to get out of the car. So I told her either 'wear the bikini I got you or go naked.' So in the end she wore the bikini." Hidan said like if it was the simplest thing to grasp.
"So you took her to a nudist beach? I swear Hidan if you weren't wearing clothes I will kill you right now!" Kiba said getting held back by Naruto and Shino.
"Like I said don't get your panties in a bunch I was wearing trunks. She was so nervous we only stayed like 15minutes and I promise you she didn't see no ones' dick either so you can relax." Hidan said dusting himself off and reaching for his picture before putting it back in his wallet. "I gotta go before hippie over there wakes up and kicks my ass. Not that he can."
With that he left them all in semi-shock. Since then none of the guys argued whose girl had the biggest breast because they all knew that Hinata had them beat by a longshot.
THE END!
Why hello! Did ya like my story? Hope ya did! But you know the only way for me to know if ya liked it is to review on it and also I was thinking if I should make a story with more than one chapter so yea only review answer my question so review please!
~ Shikamaru-Syndrome