"You are lacking taste, my friend…" said the mighty Donkey Kong. He looked sadly at his friend Diddy and sighed in disapproval. Diddy looked as though he may start to cry mad tears. His friend Donkey was being a disapprover and this is not a great thing to have in a strong bond. The friendship was spiraling out of control. Diddy had been friends with Diddy since he hatched from his monkey egg. Donkey was feeling disrespected because he raised Diddy from this egg and EV trained the bananas outta him.
"DK…" said Diddy slowly. "My life is no longer a grand monkey mastery of Mexican rice and ice cream cones. My friend, this is the end!" Diddy pulled out his Peanut Popgun and launched a pellet at Donkey.
"DIDDY!" wailed Donkey as he was struck deep in the mighty pectorals from the shell. The cataclysmic, nutty shockwave sent Donkey flying far and near the edge of the stage. "Blimy! Why do you oppose me?"
Diddy slowly walked toward the edge and prepared his down-tilting claps of fury. "You'd never understand, big buddy…"
Off in the distance, Link and Mario were watching the sudden destruction of a once glorious friendship. "I don't know why…" said Mario sadly. "Why has his young companion decided to turn?"
"This is why cherishing others is such a lost art…" said Link while he pulled out his ocarina. He began to play the national anthem of Hyrule and the world started to shake.
"Is that the giants, Link? Have you called upon them to save our moon?"
"I did it to stop Diddy more so…"
"How?"
"Wait… Observe carefully, my friend…"
Suddenly the ground behind Diddy started to rustle violently. Diddy looked over his shoulder and jumped back from finishing off Donkey. Donkey gasped and tried frantically to use this breathing time to rejoin the field. "I should have known!" cried Diddy from the depths of his chimpy soul. He readied the Peanut Popguns and stepped back with angst.
Out of the ground came a shadowy figure with a green bandana. "I came to reclaim peace for this land, Young Kong…"
"Jigglypuff… Or should I say… H-Puff…"
"You have offended this land with your poison… You must be eradicated. I'm sorry…"
"Bring it on, knave… I am three times the opponent you remember from our last outing. It shall be you who falls, my friend…"
"I aim to never fail to keep my vow… to myself… to everyone…" Jigglypuff jumped into the air and kicked Diddy in the face so fast, that Diddy could've never seen it coming.
"Dat was da P5 kick!" said King Dedede. "Hardcore! You'd nevah see dat comin'!"
Diddy flew back and a bunch of red flashes flew out of his back with varying controls. Diddy used Square for Rocketbarrel Pack. He charged toward Jigglypuff and launched him right near the blastzone. Jigglypuff was almost defeated, but managed to see Diddy coming, so he countered with superb DI and a recovery ending with a meaty neutral to the monkey's mandible.
"He did a good job. I'm proud of him," said Fox. Fox and Jigglypuff had been fierce rivals over the years and the two had trained together ever since they had hatched from their eggs two. Fox came from a Fox egg and Jigglypuff had come from an Igglybuff egg because that's how it does did worked.
"Fox…" said Mario solemnly. "Can Jigglypuff actually win?"
"I'm afraid not… I've seen Diddy's technique before. He studied under Ryu, but when Ryu was evil Ryu…"
"Dat's mad tricky!" said Dedede incoherently like a moron.
"I only hope in our hero… that he can bring back the good Diddy Kong we all once knew…" said Link.
"I believe in hearts," said Lucario approaching the land in which the spectating was occurring.
"Then we shall all believe too," said Mario with the most determined face he could properly muster.
Back at the battlefield, Diddy and Jigglypuff were still fiercely locked in ferocity. Diddy launched skybound cartwheels and deadly peanuts from his pistols. He squealed his gorilla grunts and roared out his life-story in high frequency and at ear-splitting decibels. Jigglypuff punched and kicked with the utmost buffness. He grabbed his opponent and threw the chimp on the ground, gave a reverse noogie to the foe, and flung him across the stage.
"I'll show you my true power…" Diddy said as he listed up a pistol and blasted one final peanut. Jigglypuff kicked the peanut away and pounced atop Diddy. Diddy toppled to the ground under the weight of the balloon. "You are too heavy for me!"
"I'm sorry… it's over…" said Jigglypuff sadly. He then fell asleep right atop Diddy and Diddy wailed in excruciating pain as he was launched skyhigh and into oblivion.
Donkey Kong limped over to Jigglypuff and downheartedly watched as the remains of his best friend flew into the horizon. Donkey fell down to his knees and wept bitterly. "He was my Little Buddy!" he cried. "Why did he do it?"
"He did do it didn't he?" said Jigglypuff. "Raise your head, my fellow Smasher. You will see Diddy again, but you must be prepared to embrace what he has become. Please do not get your hopes up about a sudden conversion, but do try your hardest to restore him regardless."
"I implore you, teach me how…"
"I cannot. That is for a true friend to discover… themselves…" With those final words of wisdom, Jigglypuff flew off into the sunset. Donkey Kong respected Jigglypuff's words deeply. He held himself together, but slowly broke down into a fit of tears and sorrow. He collapsed to the ground once again and wept bitterly for Diddy. Only time would tell…
FIN