Atopos - One of many theories that my friends and I have come up with. It's an odd one. Standard disclaimer since I own nothing. Have fun!
Even I find this one a little wierd.
Why Hidan Doesn't Wear a Shirt
Tobi skipped along the hallway like the cheerful idiot he truly was. He finally found the person he had been sent to find and paused in front of him.
"Hidan-san!" Tobi screamed, "I need your help!"
"I'm not a fucking psychiatrist," Hidan growled.
"Nope, but it's for Deidara-sempai!"
Hidan rolled his eyes. "Fine."
Tobi coughed dramatically. "Deidara-sempai needs a hammer, a couple of nails, and a good screw!"
Hidan stared back at him blankly for a moment. "Don't fucking ask me about that! Go ask Kakuzu!" He was about to let Tobi get away before he yelled back at him, "Hold it! Here's a question for you. How the fuck do you top Deidara?"
"You mean SEX?!" Tobi squealed happily.
Hidan nodded, hoping that people in a ten mile radius did not just hear the topic of their conversation.
"It's easy! It's easy!" Tobi's arms waved as he got even more hyper, "Deidara-sempai likes being taken by stronger men! You just have to show him who's boss!"
"Um," Hidan's face went paler than usual. "O…kay then. And how the fuck do you manage to do that?"
"Well," Tobi started balancing on the heels of his sandals carelessly. "Deidara-sempai likes to be taken from behind, but Tobi likes to see his pretty face. Sempai even calls out Tobi's name when he really likes it."
A moment of silence (for Hidan's slowly fading sanity)…
"Where the hell do you do these things?!"
Tobi began getting impatient and nervous about the conversation topic. It was as if he wanted to escape from Hidan, and run to his sempai. "We've done it in bed, against the wall, on the kitchen table, on the couch, on the floor, outside, on a tree branch, and on the dryer… Oh! And in the shower! That was the best! Does that help you with Kakuzu-san any, Hidan-san?"
Kakuzu looked at his partner as if Hidan was growing an extra head. "Why don't you want sex tonight?"
"None of your fucking business! I just found out the most fucking disgusting thing ever! And my clothes are never being washed ever again!"
Therefore: Hidan doesn't wear a shirt.
- Atopos