I used to be a religious person, until that day. The first birthday after Alfred left.

I woke up so happy and went downstairs. No one was there. Nobody. I kept waiting all day and nothing.

I forgave them. They were busy, right? I thought they would make it up the day after but nothing. The only thing that happened was that Arthur came back, raving drunk and angry. He took one look at me and he hit me. I ran off, crying. Arthur was there sobbing. His cries haunted the hallways, as I ran, straight to my room. I prayed to God for help, nothing came by only the cries and rants of Arthur.

Every odd year since then, somebody would remember and send me stuff usually the week after. Sometimes people would send me presents that was intended for Alfred. Sometimes I got presents that were for me but with Alfred's name.

Every year I broke down crying. God never helped. Arthur said to believe in some greater power, but what was the use if it never helped.

The first time, I tried to give it one more try was the day I tried to kill myself. I prayed to God for someone even something to come. I waited until it was July 2nd then I put on the noose and knocked down the chair.

It was one hour later until Kumamiso came by and cut me down. The only downside to being a country, can't die unless the country is taken over and disappears. Also, I felt the pain every second when I was conscious.

I don't have anyone. Even if my own country tries to celebrate it, Alfred would tell the world it was for him and ignore our protests.

Even my own brother doesn't remember and when he does, he makes fun of me for being so Canadian.

So every year on my birthday I would try a different way to kill myself.

The only thing that was surprising was this. I tried to hang myself with something harder and stronger so Kumamoshi wouldn't try to save me again.

I put my head in, and jumped off the table. I lost consciousness after a few minutes, but before that I heard people talking and whispering, then a door opening, then total darkness.

I woke up on the couch. Wait how did I wake up here? Kumajima usually doesn't drag me to the couch. Wait what are those sounds?

I turned my head and saw Papa. Papa?

"Mon Dieu. Mathieu, my little bebe. You're awake." Papa cooed over me. "What were you thinking?"

I just groaned. "What are you guys doing here?" As in Papa, Gil, Antonio, Katayusha, Ivan, Cuba, even Lars.

"Your birthday! That's what" Gil yelled into my ears. "Why else would your friends and one family member be here for?" Gil looked scared to death. "Why would you try to kill yourself?"

I just smiled and sobbed. Papa pat my head.

I kept crying. I was so happy. Everybody was so worried.

God even if you were so late. Thank you.

How was it? Please Review and Happy Birthday Canada!