Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Total Drama Island or its characters. The rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the producers of the show. No profit has been earned in the making of this fanfiction (darn copyright laws). The opinions expressed by the characters in this story DO NOT represent my own opinions. I'm also supposed to tell you something else…something about the ridiculously dangerous stunts on this show…yeah, I'm drawing a blank here.

Note: I decided to start writing this story about three-quarters of the way through TDA. I pretty much didn't like how nearly every character changed for the worse. I like character development as much as the next guy, but this was just wrong. There are some parts to this story that I made up way before TDA finished, including the elimination order. In some instances, I decided to borrow some elements from the second half of TDA (as you may notice in this first chapter). There's only one major plot element (regarding an elimination) that I'll end up borrowing from that part of TDA, but I've got a specific reason for doing so. But that's enough out of me for now. I hope you enjoy this story. :)

Episode 1, Part 1-Giant Boulders of Incredible Pain

"Audio log. Day 20. September 10, 2009. Time…around 7:49 A.M. It's go time."

A shady figure stood at the entrance of the abandoned film lot, looking at the numerous studios that laid before him. The figure was male, 17 years old, about 6 feet tall, and sported a large trench coat, a fedora, and sunglass to conceal his identity. His arms were not in his sleeves. Rather, they were at his sides, with his right hand clutching a tape recorder.

As he stepped into the lot, he turned toward the outskirts of the studios. There held the headquarters for the new reality show that has an unprecedented number of Canadians and Americans glued to their TV sets. No, seriously, this show gets more viewers than the Disney Channel, and THAT'S saying something. "Total Drama Action" was the name, and you can bet that it's filled with drama and action. Not so sure about the "total" part, though.

The mystery man ended up in front of the so called "craft services tent". It was actually filled with crap that the cook tries to pass as food. The figure dived into a bush so that he'd avoid getting caught by the "authorities" around here. Peering inside through a window, he saw eight teenagers-three boys and five girls-attempting to eat said crap.

"Sucks to be them," he thought as he pulled out his tape recorder. Now was the time to complete his objective here. He pressed the record button and started speaking softly into the recorder. He really wanted to make sure he didn't get caught.

"Here we have the eight contenders left standing in the second season of the Total Drama series," he began. "The teams are currently even in numbers, but I can't say the same in terms of skill. The team sitting at my left is the Screaming Gaffers, and they are absolutely dominating this contest. I'd say that one of them could very well win it in the end. On the other end of the tent are the Killer Grips. To say that they've been sucking at this game would be a gross understatement. Out of the last nine challenges, they only won a single challenge, and the only reason that they even won in that episode was because one of the Gaffers threw the challenge and practically gave up in this game. Let me tell you, they NEED the other team to sabotage themselves in order to win. Haha! Is it even possible for a team to be this bad?!?"

The boy realized what he just did and quickly covered his mouth in panic. He recorded those last few sentences rather loudly and unprofessionally. Thankfully, it didn't seem that anyone was alerted by that outburst.

"Uh…anyway, I guess the only explanation for the Gaffer dominance would have to be the fact that they're stacked. First, they've got Harold. He might not look like a contender, but he's proven himself on multiple occasions. Heck, he even saved everyone's lives in one challenge. That's pretty damn good if you ask me. Then there's Heather, Duncan, and Leshawna, who were all a part of the top five last season. It's needless to say how good they are at this game."

The boy looked inside the tent and saw the four Gaffers sitting at the left table. Well, they weren't exactly sitting. Leshawna and Heather spent most of the time glaring at each other. Duncan placed a few worms in Harold's food, which made him vomit upon taking a bite. This prompted Leshawna to tackle Duncan to the ground out of anger. Duncan, on the other hand, was laughing his ass off.

"Despite their strengths, their teamwork is somewhat questionable," the boy remarked as he watched the unexpected scene unfold. Then he looked toward the other table, where the members of the Killer Grips were sitting. Beth and Lindsay were chatting it up, as usual. Justin was trying to look at his reflection in a spoon. Courtney was glaring at someone at the other table, but it was hard to tell exactly who.

"Sadly, I can't say that the Killer Grips are that much better off. There's Lindsay, who follows the dumb blonde stereotype a bit too well. There's Justin, who's too obsessed with his looks to actually give a damn about this contest. There's Courtney, who…just got here. I know she was unfairly voted off last season, but for Pete's sake, she skipped half of the game! Not cool man, not cool. Finally, there's Beth, who…uh…what did she do again? Dammit, I lost my train of thought!"

"I knew you'd be back dude. What did I say about trespassing?"

The boy turned around and saw the host, Chris McClean, standing just a few feet away from him. He looked pretty peeved that this guy snuck onto the set…again.

"Uh…exactly how long were you standing there?" the boy asked. His knees were shaking. He was really panicking now.

"Let me tell for the last time, dude. If ANYONE from the FFB dares to set foot on this set again, I won't be afraid to use lethal force. I have the authority to use nuclear weapons, you know," the sadistic host said. He wasn't messing around here. If he didn't care for the lives of the contenders, why should he care for the lives of those less important?

"Dude, there's no way in hell that the FFB is listening to you," the boy adamantly responded.

"Well, I can't guarantee your survival this time. It's time you got reacquainted with my security team. " Chris pulled a whistle out of his pocket and blew it. He had a really huge grin on his face for what was to come.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A battle cry was heard from the tent. This made the boy cringe in fear.

"Oh crap! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna frickin' die!" the boy yelled as he hauled ass toward the exit. He could've beaten Usain Bolt with the kind of speed he was going.

Out of the tent came none other than Chef, who was carrying his trusty old cleaver (the same one that nearly killed Geoff in the first episode of season one). Obviously, Chris was too cheap to afford an actual security team, so he just got Chef to scare the crap out of anyone who trespassed. Chris just chuckled to himself as Chef was about to toss his cleaver like a tomahawk. He nearly hit the target too.

Due to the incident, filming for the next episode had to be delayed for a few minutes. Chris wanted more time to fix his hair, but that would take a good ten hours. Time doesn't grow on trees, you know. As the cameras started rolling, Chris kicked off the episode with his usual recap.

"Last time on Total Drama Action, the competitors squared off in a bank heist challenge. The Gaffers decided to leave poor Leshawna in the vault. I could've penalized them for that, but I found it kind of funny. I mean, it did make for good TV. The highlight of the last challenge was definitely Owen going absolutely berserk! That was just awesome…except for the fact that Marvel Comics nearly sued us for copyright infringement. I didn't see anything that ripped off any of their comics! What the hell, man?"

"Oh yeah, and Courtney returned to the contest. I don't think it's that important though." As soon as Chris said, about 10,000 fangirls from all across Canada screamed their lungs out. "Ouch! Damn fan girls. How do they even know I'm saying any of this stuff anyway? Whatever. The Screaming Gaffers ended up winning for like the tenth straight time. Maybe not tenth, but they sure have a huge winning streak going. At the end of the day came the most dramatic Gilded Chris Ceremony to date. Courtney sued us for immunity, the little bi…I mean, that darn rascal," Chris corrected. The last thing he wanted was for the censors to jump all over him.

"Despite getting just a single vote, Owen got the boot, but not after giving one of the most memorable speeches in the history of reality TV…I swear, he had to have been high or something. The teams are now even at four apiece. Who will win today's reward? Will Courtney try to sue us for it? And when will those f'ing fangirls shut the hell up? Find out the answers to these exciting questions on Total…Drama…Action!"

"How many times do I have to tell you, NEVER mess with my boy Harold!" Leshawna exclaimed as she started to throttle Duncan.

Duncan was too busy snickering to care about how Leshawna was about to pound him. "Oh come on! You got to admit, it was kind of funny," Duncan said in retaliation.

"I bet you also thought it was kind of funny to leave me in that safe, didn't you!" Leshawna yelled, clearly still angered by the previous episode's events.

Heather started to get real annoyed by the two of them. "Could you guys stop acting like barbarians for two seconds? This definitely won't help us in the next challenge."

"Please, we all know that you'll just rely on us for the team challenges. Once the merge happens, there's no doubt that you'll stab us in the back," Leshawna replied. Unsurprisingly, the bad moments of season one were burned into her memory. Harold returned to the table shortly after he finished hurling, and looked at Duncan as he continued to uncontrollably laugh on the floor.

"All right! It wasn't that funny! Gosh!" Harold shouted. "How would you like it if I put worms in your food!"

"Try that and see what happens!" Duncan threatened. His expression quickly changed to a serious one as he help up a fist close to Harold's face. Harold knew that it would be stupid to walk himself into a fight with one of the strongest people on the island, so he backed off.

Confession Cam

Harold: Sure, Duncan and I seem like mortal enemies, but I think that our rivalry has brought out the strongest in each other. It's only a matter of time before he recognizes that my mad skills are not meant to be messed with.

Duncan: If that dweeb honestly thinks I'll be laying off him anytime soon, he's got another thing coming.

"Isn't it great that we get along so much better than those guys?" Beth asked her new BFFFL.

"Totally! I mean, could the other team be any less nicer to each other?" Lindsay responded.

"Oh, will you two just shut up!" Courtney shouted. Beth and Lindsay jumped in surprise. "What's the point of being nice to each other if you guys can't even win any challenges? Don't think I don't know about how badly this team is sucking right now."

"You're still bitter about the whole vote-switching thing, aren't you?" Beth asked. "Maybe it would be better if you just forgave-"

"There's no way I'm forgiving that cheating nerd Harold! I mean, he went and voted out one of the smartest people on the Killer Bass. That just guaranteed that one of the Gophers would win season one," Courtney said.

"I'm pretty sure you would have been voted out anyway," said Lindsay. "You weren't exactly the most likable person…" Lindsay started as Courtney started glaring at her. "I'll be quiet now," she said with a sad face

"Ugh…Justin! What do you think about our situation right now?" Courtney asked, expected an intelligent response out of him.

Justin briefly snapped out of his stare-fest with himself in order to respond. "Oh…I think we need to pull it together and start winning…or something…I don't know" Justin answered unenthusiastically. Courtney buried her face in her hands. All hope seemed lost for this team.

Confession Cam

Courtney: I seriously hate my team right now. None of them are actually focused on the game! It looks like I'm on my own here. Seriously, it sucks to be separated from Duncan like this…wait. Did I actually say that? You guys better edit that part out, or you can expect another lawsuit!

Chris: Oh Courtney. You don't know me that well, do you?

Justin: Well, now that there's another lady on this team, it's only a matter of time before I get a little more help toward winning the million. *winks*

The tension in the room was broken when Chris finally entered, ready to start today's challenge. "What up, castmates? Are you ready for the most difficult and brutal challenge EVER!?!" This question was immediately met with groans from the eight competitors.

"Oh well, I suppose you're all still reeling in shock from yesterday's incredibly dramatic episode, aren't you?" Chris proudly said.

"Not really," Duncan responded. "Heck, I'm kind of glad Owen's gone. His constant complaining over his inability to eat really got on my nerves."

"And I'm sure the fact that he's the reason you lost last season has nothing to do with it," Heather remarked.

"Oh, just shut the hell up."

"Ahem! Will you guys quit stealing my camera time?" Chris asked. Duncan merely narrowed his eyes at Chris. "Anyway, before I start, there's a matter that needs to be addressed."

"Does it have to do with how Chef ran out of the tent screaming?" Beth inquired.

"No! That's not even important, so just forget it ever happened!" Chris exclaimed. All of the competitors were left with confused looks on their faces. "This has to do with that lawsuit that Courtney filed against us. Apparently, her lawyer and the producers came to the agreement that I won't have any money taken out of my precious paycheck if we gave her this." Chris pulled out a PDA and handed it to Courtney.

"Thank you Chris," Courtney said, smiling proudly.

"Wow…that's real cheap. As if bypassing twelve challenges wasn't enough" Heather bitterly said.

"Hey, I could've easily gotten more stuff, but this thing right here is all I'll need to win." Courtney said as she waved her PDA around.

"Please, at least I can get far in the game without having to resort to outside resources."

"At least I was much better liked than you."

"Now I KNOW that's not true. Plus, I don't care about likability. I care about popularity."

"You do realize that likability and popularity kind of go together, right?"

"All I know is that I'm way more popular than you are!"

"Are you kidding me? My fanbase is ten times bigger than yours!"

"That's a lie and you know it."

"Nice! Looks like we got a catfight!" Duncan exclaimed with glee. That outburst earned him a slap in the face by Courtney.

"What did I just say about stealing the spotlight?" Chris complained. "Today's challenge will have a magnificent reward on the line-"

"If no one's going home today, why should we even be doing this?" Beth asked.

"Tell me about it girl," Leshawna said. "It's obvious that Chris is trying to extend the life out of this show."

"I am not! And the next person to interrupt me will be instantly kicked off the show!" Chris shouted.

"If it means skipping this dumb challenge, then fine." Courtney said. "Go on Harold, interrupt him."

"Why me?" Harold asked.

"Because we all know that you're the least deserving person here. After all, you needed to cheat just to eliminate me last time. There's no way you should still be here." Courtney stated.

"I beg to differ!" Leshawna said while rolling up her sleeve. Duncan could only use one hand to try to restrain her, while his other hand was rubbing his sore cheek. Needless to say, he wasn't very successful in doing so.

"Leshawna, stop it! There has to be another way to settle this dispute!" Harold yelled.

"Of course you'd say that. Grow a spine dude, and maybe some balls while you're at it!" Duncan countered.

"Agreed," Heather said. "Then again, he's not the only spineless person around here…" Heather looked toward her two former alliance members from season one, Lindsay and Beth. Lindsay was trying to chase a butterfly for no particular reason. Beth followed close behind. "No surprises here, I guess."

"Do I need to orchestrate the first-ever TRIPLE elimination on this show!?!" Chris shouted.

"Haha, I wouldn't mind THAT!" Courtney said enthusiastically. "Wait, you are talking about Harold, Leshawna, and Heather right?"

"I like how you didn't mention me there," Duncan said while wiggling his unibrow.

"Please, I'm sparing you just because there aren't enough eliminations to go around."

"That's it!" Chris screamed, clearly pissed off now. "Just for that, I'm making today's challenge so extreme that it borderlines illegality, if that's even a word." As usual, the contestants responded with much groaning.

Confession Cam

Beth: Chris has become so power crazy lately. All that fame must be getting to his head. I hope none of us will become like that.

Justin: My strategy as of right now is to just sit back and watch everyone else tear each other apart. I don't even have to cause it; the fights will just start themselves. *leans back in chair* This game just got a whole lot easier.

Duncan: *chuckles* I know that Courtney wouldn't eliminate me even if she could.

Harold: I was afraid that Courtney would still be mad over the vote-switching incident. Don't worry though, I'll handle her and Duncan while I get the chance. Right now, I'm just focused on surviving the insane challenges that Chris throws at us.

Lindsay: Wow. It's amazing how everyone said that Cynthia would come back and she did. I wonder if Cory is coming back too. Everyone is saying that will happen, so it must be true, right?

"Alright castmates. Today's movie will take us back millions of years ago…to the Stone Age!" Chris exclaimed, trying to be as dramatic as possible.

"The Stone Age? Is that the time when everyone got stoned?" Lindsay asked. Leshawna, Duncan, and Heather all burst out laughing at that remark. Courtney face palmed after hearing this from her own teammate.

"Er…yeah, but it wasn't the good kind of stoned. The kind of stoning they probably did back then left you battered, bruised, and maybe even a little dead. I'm not sure. But enough of the history lesson!"

"Actually Chris, the Stone Age was when tools were created using stone," Beth corrected.

"Beth, you're just asking to get kicked off, but I'll spare you this time. Now follow me to Studio 14!" Chris said

Studio 14's setting was pretty simplistic in nature. It basically consisted of a huge grassy plain with a huge hill in the middle. The lighting was orange to give the place a sunset feeling. There were a few large rocks scattered here and there, but other than that, there wasn't much to it.

"Way to cheap out on us Chris!" Courtney complained. "There's practically nothing here!"

"Oh really?" Chris said with that huge grin on his face. You know the one I'm talking about.

Chris pressed a button on a remote that he seemed to pull out of nowhere. Some of the contestants winced, expecting that there would be an explosion or something, but nothing happened. Chef Hatchet walked into the studio, looking really sweaty for some odd reason.

"Oh hey Chef! Did you get that dumb kid this time?" Chris asked.

"Nope. I don't know where he gets that kind of speed. It's like something of a cartoon, man," Chef responded.

"Who are you guys talking about?" Beth asked out of curiosity.

"None of your flippin' beeswax, that who!" Chef shouted. Beth slowly backed away out of fear.

"Can we just get this dumb challenge over with?" Heather asked.

"Fine. Your challenge is to run WAY over there to those boulders," Chris said. The eight contenders looked in amazement as there were indeed two massive boulders on the far side of the studio.

"I'm pretty sure those rocks weren't there before," Leshawna said in bewilderment.

"The goal here is to push those boulders all the way to the top of the hill and through the goal posts," Chris continued as he pointed toward the two posts. Like the boulders, none of the contestants noticed the posts when they first walked in. "First team to accomplish this gets an advantage in part two of this challenge. Let me tell you, you'll probably lose without it. Any questions?"

Beth raised her hand. "Chris, don't you think this is a bit much?"

"Well the producers suggested a fire making challenge, but I'm thought that it was way too easy of a challenge. I mean, where's the chance of a serious injury?" Beth started to look a little nervous. "Any other questions?" Chris asked.

Lindsay raised her hand. "Uh…Chip? What happens if one of us breaks a nail over-"

"Yeah, don't care," Chris interrupted. "And…action!"

The eight teens jogged their way toward the boulders. Unsurprisingly, none of them looked enthusiastic about this challenge. Harold was the first to reach his team's boulder, but his efforts to push it were in vain. The boulder was twice as large as he was, and he couldn't even budge it an inch.

"Gosh! This boulder has to weigh several hundred pounds!" Harold cried. A disappointed Duncan shoved him to the ground.

"With arms like those, it's no wonder you're struggling," Duncan said, shaking his head. Now it was his turn to try his hand. Using every bit of strength he had, Duncan actually managed to move the boulder a few feet before he collapsed to the ground. They were still quite a distance from the hill.

"Alright big girl. It's your turn." Heather said, motioning to Leshawna.

"No way in heck am I pushing that thing!" Leshawna responded.

"Don't worry guys. I'll think of something," Harold said. "As soon as I regain my strength, we'll be moving at breakneck speeds."

"Let me guess. Your so-called 'mad skills' are going to lead us to victory," Heather said skeptically.

"Nope. Physics will," Harold said.

Meanwhile, over on the Grips' end, they were making even less progress than the Gaffers were. What a shock. In fact, none of them have even laid a hand on their boulder since the challenge started.

"Are you guys trying to tell me that none of you are physically fit enough to move this rock?" Courtney asked.

"You make it sound easy, but this is the most biggest rock I've ever seen!" Lindsay exclaimed.

Justin was lying on his back a few feet away from the others, expecting them to get the job done quickly. "Hey guys, could you get moving? The other team is going to beat us at this rate," he said without even looking at his team.

"Do you wanna actually get up off your ass and help us out!?!" Courtney asked in frustration. "Man, thank God the idiot who picked this team was voted off a long time ago."

"I think Justin's right. It looks like the other team is onto something," Beth pointed out. Indeed, the Screaming Gaffers were already halfway toward the hill. Harold managed to find a long, flat rock hidden somewhere in between the initial resting points of the two rocks. He slid the smaller rock under the boulder to use it for leverage. Then Leshawna jumped on the other end of the lever, with caused the boulder to move forward several feet. This process was repeated several times and gave the Gaffers a huge lead over the Grips.

"Wow, that's brilliant…uh, I mean, they totally got lucky there!" Courtney said. There was no way that she was admitting that Harold outsmarted her.

Chris walked over toward the Grips. "Well, it looks like the Gaffers found the tool needed to move their boulder. Don't worry. I'm a fair guy, so I placed another rock just like that one somewhere around here."

"Alright then. Beth and Justin, go find that rock!" Courtney commanded.

"I'm on it," Beth said with a salute. Justin, however, didn't respond. He had actually fallen asleep a few minutes ago.

"What do you want me to do?" Lindsay asked.

"Just try not to screw anything up," Courtney responded.

"I got it!" Beth yelled as she held up the rock in the air. Courtney grabbed the tool and attempted to mimic Harold's actions. There was one problem though: using the leverage from the rock requires weight, and they didn't have anyone nearly as heavy as Leshawna to provide that weight.

"Damn. We're screwed now," Courtney said, apparently on the verge of giving up.

"But Courtney, my mom says I'm supposed to wait until marriage for that!" Lindsay said. Courtney couldn't even dignify that with a response.

The Gaffers made it to the hill. Leshawna jumped on the lever in an attempt to move the boulder, but it remained stuck at the base of the hill.

"Nice one genius," Heather said sarcastically. "What bright idea do you have for us now?"

"I didn't think this far ahead. I'll try to look for another tool around here," Harold said as he ran off.

"Is it even possible to move this thing any further?" Duncan asked. "I can't think of anything that could help us now."

"There is one thing that could help you, punk boy," Chef said as he walked over to the Gaffers.

"And that would be…"

"There's a time limit on this challenge. If neither team completes the objective, then you guys win 'cuz you got to the hill first…or something. I dunno. It's a lame rule to me, but we gotta get moving along with this filming business."

"Is that supposed to be the only way we can win? Sounds crappy to me."

"Yeah, well too damn bad!" Chef yelled as he walked off.

"Well, look at it this way," Leshawna said. "There's no way in heck that those other guys will make to the goal. So we just sit back, and wait for the time limit to run out."

Harold came back empty-handed, but he was relieved to hear that they really didn't have to do anything to win now. They all figured that waiting was better than getting injured while trying to complete the challenge.

"Hey there losers," Chris said as he walked up to the Killer Grips. "Nice to see that no one's broken their backs yet. Oh, by the way, if you don't get this boulder up that hill within the next half hour, the Gaffers win by virtue of distance traveled."

"Do you have a need to create BS rules on the spot?" Courtney asked.

"Yes. Yes I do," Chris said. "Well…I'd get moving if I were you."

"Hey Courtney, what if you, me, and Lindsay worked together to move that boulder?" Beth asked.

"Sounds corny," Courtney responded, "but it's better than doing nothing."

Chris turned to the camera. "Well, it looks like the Killer Grips are gonna try to stage a comeback. Will they be successful? Is Justin actually going to do anything? And are my BS rules brilliant or what? I should get an award for them, they're just that damn good. Anyway, tune in after the break for the exciting conclusion!"

Thnx for reading and plz review if you can. Any kind of review is fine by me. Praise, constructive criticism, flames, whatever the heck you want.