A/N: This was a welcome break for me regarding some writer's block. It's fun and fluffy. Enjoy!
No one was light their feet as the sky car pulled up next to the queue. Heavy boots, creaky burnt armor, and an acrid vestige of eezo clung to them in an unappealing cloud.
The guests waiting in line eyed them warily and pulled away, pressing themselves together against the motley crew.
A Lancer clattered to the ground, skittering and spinning towards the already frightened patrons.
"Shit," Shepard muttered, stumbling to pick up her weapon, "god damn shuttle breaking down on top of everything…then I have butter fingers…"
Smiling weakly, Kaidan beat her to it and with as much charm as he could muster he appeased the crowd, "Sorry folks, uh…Spectre business."
A few Asari tittered quietly, clearly admiring the Major's rugged looks which were only made more handsome by the light dusting of dirt and grime that coated his face and armor. A slight groan escaped as he bent to pick up the rifle.
"Thanks," Io nodded, as he handed it over. She checked the gun, subconsciously running her hand over the barrel.
The crowd that had perked up a bit at the mention of Spectre business now gasped as Kasumi fizzled into view, looking equally torn up.
"I don't know about you two, but I need a drink, fast."
"Fuck. Yes," Shepard sighed as she thought of downing a booze heavy beverage.
They gathered themselves and slowly walked away from the small crowd that had gathered around them. Not one of the trio seemed to notice the stares they were garnering.
Guns were poorly dropped at the apartment door, armor unbuckled without ceremony, and a skin-tight cat suit was stripped off and left in a pile on the floor. They met in the kitchen a few minutes later, a bottle of vodka and whiskey thunking down on the counter heavily.
"Pick your poison," Kaidan said, unscrewing the whiskey before pulling a rocks glass out of the cabinet.
"Vodkaaaaa," Kasumi cried, going to the fridge to grab some juice.
"Whiskey," Io sighed, "Two fingers. Then vodka."
"Are you sure?"
The look that she gave him answered the question quick enough.
Shrugging, he pulled another glass out of the cabinet and slowly poured a heavy measure of the amber colored liquor for her.
The thief boosted herself to the counter. Her lean legs were posed dangerously close to Kaidan's glass.
"Watch it, you," he teased, pulling the glass away from her offending appendages.
Kicking him playfully she stated, "Vodka me," before handing him her glass, juice already filling it half way.
"With pleasure," he smiled, and poured the clear liquid in with the red.
Raising her filled glass, Kasumi said, "Cheers. Here's to kicking the crap out of hundreds of husks, a bunch of cannibals, a dozen brutes, and several angry banshees."
"All while in that mother fucking dust storm," Io added.
"Cheers," Kaidan sighed, clinking his glass against the other two in front of him.
Quiet descended on the small group as they each took a deep drink from their respective glasses. Eyes were closed in contentment.
Io was the first to sigh, "Damn, that's just what I needed," her glass made a hollow sound when she set it down.
"Done already?" Kaidan queried.
"Babe, I'm not even started yet," Shepard claimed as she reached for the bottle.
"I just don't – I don't…"
"Talk…"
"I just don't think you understand… I just…"
"Io, what?"
"I love you two so much."
Kaidan chuckled as he stroked the messy auburn hair that was splayed across his lap. A well-toned arm was hanging down to the floor while slim fingers stroked a pattern into the carpet. Suddenly the motion stopped and the arm flopped toward the coffee table where her empty glass lay, wet rings dotting the surface.
"More!"
"Don't you think you've had enough?"
"NEVER," the word was slurred, but vehement.
Kasumi appeared then, coming around the side of the couch with a nearly empty vodka bottle in one hand and a smaller, half empty bottle of ryncol in the other.
"I could murder a bowl of ramen right now," she nearly yelled, setting the bottles down messily and throwing her body heavily on the couch.
"There's ramen?" the voice floated up from his lap.
"Not yet," Kaidan laughed, pulling up his omni-tool. A quick scroll and a few taps and an order was placed at their favorite spot.
"More," Io had managed to grab her glass and she lazily thrust it at Kasumi, whose legs were in the air, kicking back and forth like she was swimming.
"Yes, Ma'am," the tiny woman flipped over quickly and then stood, albeit unsteadily, to pour another shot into the glass.
"I love you…" Io crooned.
"I love you too, silly," Kasumi laughed as she bent to kiss the prone commander.
"No," Io dropped her glass, contents spilling on the floor, "you don't understand. I. Love. You." She grabbed the other woman's hand and tugged at it with every word.
"And I love you too," she finally sat up, goofy smile on her face, and eyes darting around, unfocused, "Mr. Buzzy Buzz," she poked him in the chest, "Did you know, that when you're drunk, you buzz?"
"Are you sure it's not you?"
"Not me," she pulled herself closer, "you feel diff-er-rent. But only when you've had a few."
"I've had more than a few."
"Yeah, but not as many as me!" She rolled over in a fit of laughter.
"GOD. I'm starving," Kasumi growled, "All that fighting. All this booze, I need food!"
"It's coming, I promise," Kaidan calmly replied. He was floating in his alcohol induced haze, savoring every moment because he knew it wouldn't last long. Io was right though, he could feel himself buzzing, just below the surface.
Now the girls, the girls were different stories. Neither was ever calm when drunk. Kasumi became loud and demanding. Sillier than normal and always hungry.
Shepard, well she was always lovey-dovey, hungry, and-
"I wanna fuck," there it was: horny.
Her demand tickled him just then. So much so that he started to laugh, it rolled up, hitting him in the stomach first and working its way up his torso.
"Don't laugh at me," she pouted. Red-purple hair ballooned in halo around her face.
"Yeah! Don't laugh at her!" Kasumi punched him in the arm. The hit was weak, but he feigned injury anyway.
"Ow!" the laugh was still in him, causing his body to shake in mirth, "I just don't think you're in any state of mind for that activity, babe."
"Don't you tell me what I can and cannot do!"
As if to prove her point, she leaned forward and planted a very sloppy and wet kiss on his lips.
It was not sexy at all. He fought another wave of laughter off. She was so serious. And she was definitely trying to seduce him.
"You. Love of my life, c'mere. I wanna kiss you too," she waved her hand at Kasumi who was filling up her glass again.
The liquor was quickly downed. Unsteady footsteps tried to unsuccessfully navigate their way around his feet and the coffee table. When she tripped and fell over on top of them, he was not surprised.
"Oof!" Io grunted as she fell backward. Undeterred, she framed Kasumi's face with her hands and proceeded to kiss her in a similarly bad fashion.
However, since both of them were well under the influence, neither pulled away and he was treated to what he would equate to a show of two awkward teenagers making out.
Definitely not enticing.
Thankfully, there was a chime that indicated someone was at the door.
Neither of the women noticed as he pushed their tangle of legs off of his lap. There were very unladylike noises rising from the couch and he started to laugh again. Definitely needed to think about filming them as evidence of their shenanigans in the morning.
There was a volus at the door with a large packet of something that smelled delicious. He peeked around Kaidan's legs to the show on the couch.
"Don't mind them, " Kaidan commented as he clicked credits over, "They've had a few."
"Ahh, you earth clan are quite strange. And hard with your liquor."
"You, well, you are not wrong about that," he agreed, turning to look back over his shoulder.
There was a large stain on the carpet where Io had dropped her glass, the vodka bottle was precariously perched on the edge of the sofa, and both girls were in the process of losing their shirts.
Io sat up suddenly and reached for the ryncol, laughing as Kasumi nuzzled against her neck, fingers dipping into the other woman's bra.
"Is that?" the incredulous rise in voice from the volus indicated that he knew exactly who it was.
"Nope, not who you think, not at all. Thanks for the food, bye," Kaidan pushed him awkwardly out the door.
"Commander – "
"NOOOOPE." Kaidan cried loudly.
Io took a hearty swig of the krogan booze and coughed when it hit the back of her throat.
Their fumbling began in earnest again but stopped abruptly when he called from the kitchen, "Food's here!"
Kasumi shot up, "YES!"
"Noooo 'Sumi, stay here, I want you…"
"Io," the thief leaned over to pat her face affectionately, "There's FOOD."
"But-"
"FOOD."
Pouring himself another fair measure of whiskey, he began unpacking their meal.
For all of her elegant movement normally, seeing Kasumi unsteady on her feet was something else. She stumbled as quickly as her legs would carry her, around the couch and up to the kitchen bar.
"Whadyouget?" She asked, peering at the spread before him.
"Ramen & octopus balls, well, what they call octopus balls, for you," he thunked a steaming container in front of her.
Io came sauntering up next, clearing thinking she was putting on moves, with a pout on her lips, "You left! Kasumi come bac– Ooh. Food," she growled, and scooted the tall stool out to take a seat next to Kasumi.
"Same for you, but I asked for extra spicy."
A hiss came from her when she picked up one of the crispy fried treats, "Hot!" The temperature did not dissuade her from biting into the appetizer. Closing her eyes, a low, "mmmm," emanated from her chest.
It was not long before she showed her true colors, as she started shoveling the food into her mouth while simultaneously running her free hand along Kasumi's thigh. Although it was awkward, he was amused, and intrigued.
The whiskey was keeping him just on the edge of buzzed. Biotics sung happily under his skin, prickling merrily. There was no way he'd resort to the ryncol like Io. The last thing he wanted was a krogan sized hangover in the morning.
"Fighting all those husks was worth it," Kasumi murmured, face full of steam.
"Uh…I guess," he remarked, slurping a huge bite of noodles into his mouth.
"Worth it cuz now this is happening."
"We could do this any time you know," Io leaned over heavily, nearly falling off of her stool. She muttered, "Oops, farther away than I thought."
"Nah, not the same. This is a nice reward. We fight, we live, we drink, we eat…"
"We screw!" Io cried. Kaidan rolled his eyes sarcastically shook his head at Kasumi. She hid a smile behind her own mouthful of noodles.
"Maybe later, babe."
"I love youuuu," a finger pointed at him, barely steady.
He grabbed it and kissed his closed fist. She grinned, green onion stuck in her teeth.
"You, well, Io, you are a vision."
"Ehehehe," she giggled and winked dramatically.
Later, when the empty containers and bottles were balanced precariously in the trash, he carried Kasumi up to bed after she curled up like a cat in the corner of the couch. His next task was to help Io navigate the stairs. The buzz he had been nursing all night had worn away and all he wanted to do now was take care of his girls, make sure that they would sleep well, and if possible, he'd like to help them stave off any negative results of their drunken evening.
"You're not buzzing any more, Mr. Buzzy Buzz," her voice was low and her speech was nearly incoherent.
"Nah, babe, that cleared up a bit ago."
"I drank all the ryncol, didn't I?" She asked, innocently.
"You did."
"I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize."
She faltered near the top and he swooped her up into his arms. It was times like this that he became more aware of just how small she was. How fragile.
Any other time she would have pushed him, tried to force him to put her down. She hated being carried. Tonight though, she let him take her those last few steps and when he set her down on the bed she snuggled close to Kasumi, who was still curled up in a tight ball.
He stripped off his t-shirt and pants and climbed in after them. The duvet fell like a soft cloud on their bodies and then he felt her reaching for him. Her small hand fit perfectly into his and he smiled. Kasumi shifted at the same time, sleepily molding her body into his.
The girls, they, well they enjoyed their drinks quite a bit. Kaidan, well he enjoyed the come-down contentment even more.
Tomorrow was going to be something else, but this, right now, was pretty all right.