A/N: I love the Velvet Goldmine, it's probably one of my favorite movies ever (if not actually my favorite) and Brian is definitely my favorite character, I hate Arthur but I like Curt. The only reason this story is parodyesque is because I'm completely incapable of writing anything even remotely serious. –Princey

Brian sat in a hotel room one morning, in a bed, trying to remember how he got there. "Oh! How did I get here?" he groaned. Then he noticed that the germ infested hotel blanket was on him and he started to panic, "Curt!" he yelled, not even sure if Curt was in the hotel room with him.

But apparently he was, "What Brian?"

"Will you get this blanket off me? It's disgusting. How did I get here?"

"Jesus, Brian," Curt said, pulling the blanket off, "You weren't even high or drunk or anything last night, you'd think you could remember for once."

"Remember what? What did you do to me? Was it one of those things I said I wouldn't do? Because if it was I'll fucking destroy you!"

Curt frowned at him, took a swig from his flask (always present when Brian was in the vicinity) and said, "No, we went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant and you were very charming as always."

"Ah, good," said Brian, walking over to the mirror, "Will you find some breakfast?"

"No! I'm tired of doing everything for you. Find your own fucking breakfast or get one of those pathetic groupies to get it for you."

Brian went over to Curt and kissed him, stroking his arm. "But, Curt," he said, pulling away slightly, "It always tastes better from you…"

Curt was not quite ready to notice all of Brian's obvious manipulation yet so he said, "Alright," and Brian kissed him again and he went off to get breakfast.

While Curt was finding food Brian spent the time looking in the mirror, admiring his blue hair and sexy lips.

Soon Curt got back, with bagels and Brian noticed that he wasn't particularly hungry and told Curt this. "You're not hungry! Well, fuck, why'd you make me go to the bagel store?"

"Well, I was hungry, I'm just not anymore. And it was very sweet of you to go all that way for me." Curt looked surprisingly hurt by this so Brian took a bagel and ate a little, deciding that the key to keeping Curt from killing him was to give in now and then.

Just then Mandy burst in drunkenly and said, "Oh, hello Curt and hello Whore," she had taken to calling Brian "Whore" as of lately.

"Oh look," said Brian, "It's my lovely wife, you're looking drunken as usual."

Mandy seemed about to say something but instead she threw up on the carpet.

"Oh for God's sake,:" said Brian, "Curt, will you call someone to clean that up?"

Curt went to the phone and called someone. Shortly after the call was made a woman in a maid's uniform appeared and said, "AHHH! It's Brian Slade! Oh my God! I can't believe I'm in the same room with you! AHHH!"

"Neither can I," muttered Curt.

Brian gave her his most charming smile and said, "I'm very pleased to meet you, would you mind cleaning up my drunken wife?"

She looked over at his lethargic wife with the resentment common in his female fans and said, "Yeah, sure." When she finished Brian tried to give her a monetary tip but she insisted that he only autograph her bra.

Curt watched with amusement as Brian quickly covered up his disgust at touching the less than attractive, vomit scented woman and signed her quickly with another, forced, charming smile.