Disclaimer: ...I'm not JK Rowling, quite obviously. Thus, I'm sure you can gather that I do not own the Harry Potter books or any of the characters in them. I also must wonder if JK Rowling or any of her agents ever surf Fanfiction.net, suing everyone who fails to put this sort of silly disclaimer on their story. My point is made.
Author's Notes: To set the record straight, I did not want to write this fanfic. Why, do you ask, did I write it, then? Basically because it was writing itself inside my mind, and I figured that it wouldn't go away until I wrote it down. I discovered Remus / Sirius fanfics approximately one day before this one started in my mind. Sometimes I swear my mind conspires against me. _ That said, continue down to read. And review. Please review. Oh, and if you couldn't tell from what I just said up there, this is a Shounen-ai (slash) fic. Do with that information what you will.
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Hallucinations
"Moony?"
It had been exactly 27 seconds since Remus Lupin had last told his friend and fellow seventh year Gryffindor, Sirius, who currently sat across the library table from him, to stop talking so that he could finish his Transfiguration essay. He knew it had been 27 seconds because he had been counting, rather than actually writing. He was aware, logically, that he should be taking advantage of these few moments of silence, but he couldn't help himself. Sirius was predictably talkative when others were trying to study.
"Moony, how many seconds was that?"
"What?" Remus asked, looking up from the paper he had been pretending to study intently.
"How many seconds?" repeated the black-haired boy, grinning. "C'mon, I know you were counting."
Remus coughed, feeling his face flushing slightly. "Twenty-seven," he finally responded, feeling the irony that he, too, was so predictable.
The other boy laughed, grinning even wider than before—something Remus hadn't quite known was possible. "Ha," he said with satisfaction. "You weren't even writing."
"Well, I would be if I could count on having more than a few second's worth of time to concentrate!" Remus snapped back, a little more loudly than he probably should have been, considering his surroundings. He looked around to make sure the librarian wasn't anywhere near by. She wasn't, but he had a feeling that she had heard his outburst and would be keeping an eye on him.
Sirius pouted. "You're boring," he complained, throwing his arms onto the wooden table and placing his chin on his hands. "Can't we go pester Snape or something? Please?" he asked, looking up at Remus mournfully.
Remus smiled slightly at the boy's show despite himself. "Not now. I have a Transfiguration essay to finish," he said, picking up his quill and poising it over the parchment he had been writing on.
"Hey, it's not like you're the only one," Sirius replied, sounding slightly hurt.
"I'm the only one with the sense to get it done now, rather than waiting until midnight on the last day of Christmas break," Remus answered, actually starting to write again.
"Bloody prefect," Sirius muttered dramatically, putting his head down on the table.
Remus smirked, choosing to ignore that last comment. Ever since he had gotten his prefect badge, he knew that it would be a constant source of jokes and insults for his friends. He had, unfortunately, been correct in thinking this, but he had gotten used to it. After the first few weeks, James and Sirius had apparently decided (much to Remus's relief) that calling him "Your Excellency, the Prefect" and "Grand High Mighty Prefect" whenever they saw him was getting old.
He smiled slightly at this thought as he began writing the last paragraph of his essay. They had been assigned to write 2 and a half rolls of parchment on Animagi, the process of becoming an Animagus, and the dangers of unregistered Animagi. The irony of this did not escape Remus, whose three closest friends were unregistered Animagi. Nonetheless, he was on his 3rd roll of parchment and going on in quite a preachy manner about how dangerous and morally inexcusable it was to illegally become an Animagus. He hadn't gotten to be a prefect for nothing.
After writing out the last few morally moving lines of his of his essay, ending with, "In conclusion, the process of becoming an Animagus is long and difficult, but for good reason. If unregistered Animagi were allowed to roam the streets, the world would be a dangerous place indeed," Remus carefully rolled up his parchment and stuck it neatly into his book bag, followed by his quill and inkwell. He picked up the bag and stood up, looking at his watch and discovering that it wasn't quite noon yet. It was only then that he noticed that Sirius had been suspiciously silent for the last few minutes.
"Sirius?" Remus asked, looking across the table to where the raven-haired boy still sat, his forehead resting on his hands. He was breathing deeply, and Remus wondered if he could be asleep. To test this, he poked the top of Sirius's head with his index finger. The boy twitched slightly, but did not move otherwise. Remus jabbed him again, slightly harder, and Sirius made a muffled noise that sounded vaguely like, "But it's Christmas break." Remus smiled slightly, running his hand through the other boy's dark hair and ruffling it slightly like James liked to do to bother him. "Come on, Sirius, let's go," he said, kicking the sleeping boy lightly in the shin.
"Ow!" Sirius yelped, sitting up suddenly and glaring daggers at his friend. "Remmy, what was that for?"
"To wake you up, stupid," Remus responded. "And quit calling me 'Remmy.'"
"Hmph," Sirius said, sounding annoyed. "You could have found a nicer way of doing it. Remmy," he added as an afterthought, grinning.
Remus rolled his eyes in a 'why me?' gesture, and, grabbing Sirius by the sleeve of his robes, dragged him out of the library. Truth be told, he didn't really mind being called Remmy that much. But Sirius had limits, and he knew that as long as Sirius thought he hated the nickname, he wouldn't call him by it constantly, which would get annoying.
"So where are we going?" Sirius asked curiously once they were out of the library and Remus had let go of his sleeve.
Remus shrugged. They were only two of about four or five Gryffindors who had chosen to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas break, and their other friends James and Peter were among those who had not stayed. Christmas had passed a few days before, and Remus was starting to feel more than a bit bored. Of course, their teachers had given them loads of homework, so he had immersed himself in this, rarely leaving the library. But he felt slightly more relaxed now, having finished the dreaded essay on Animagi, and he figured that he really didn't have to do any more work for the rest of the day.
"Wanna go outside?" suggested Sirius suddenly, interrupting Remus's thoughts. "It snowed last night, you know," he added, a slight glint coming into his eyes.
"Really?" asked Remus in vague disbelief. "I thought they said that it was going to be warm today."
Sirius shook his head in mock disapproval. "Honestly, Moony, do you ever look out windows?"
Remus thought about this and had to admit he didn't. "Alright, outside sounds good," he agreed, glad that the other boy had forgotten about annoying Snape. He couldn't say that he liked Snape any more than the rest of them, but he didn't really care for how James and Sirius were always tormenting him. Plus, with so few students at Hogwarts, it was easier for the teachers to keep an eye on all of them. Getting detention while on break wasn't something Remus was very keen on doing.
They made their way down a few flights of stairs and through several near-abandoned corridors, one of which Filch was sweeping resolutely. Remus tried not to make eye-contact with him, but as he passed, he could have sworn that he heard Filch mutter out of the corner of his mouth, "And a prefect, too..." Remus ignored this, but he noticed that Sirius was snickering silently. After several minutes, they had made it down to the Great Hall, where a lone house-elf was polishing the ceiling, oblivious to its surroundings.
"Sure is quiet, isn't it?" Sirius commented, studying the house-elf as he opened the large door separating the Entrance Hall from the grounds outside. Remus was about to agree when a snowball sailed through the half-open door and hit Sirius, who was still about a meter within the castle. "HEY!" he yelled, opening the door all the way.
"Too quiet," Remus added, trying to contain his laughter as Sirius charged outside.
"No fair," he heard Sirius complaining as he followed him outside where, as predicted, the ground was covered in a good foot of snow. "Attacking people who aren't even outside yet is clearly outside the rules of a snowball fight."
As Sirius said this, Remus saw that those responsible for the snowball were the other Gryffindors and a few Ravenclaws who had remained at Hogwarts, who had collected outside and were now gleefully pelting each other with snow.
"Sorry about that," spoke up one of the Gryffindors, a blond sixth year girl who Remus recognized as one of the chasers on the Quidditch team, "but it was too good to resist. Care to join?" she asked, just before being hit in the back by another snowball, this one thrown by a Ravenclaw.
Sirius nodded gravely, bent down, and slowly took a handful of snow, calmly forming a snowball. The Gryffindor chaser had long since run off to seek revenge, but Sirius replied nonetheless to where she had been, "Snowball fight. Sounds like fun." At this he turned to Remus, who was starting to get the feeling that maybe he should run. But before he could react, Sirius grinned wickedly and threw the snowball at him, hitting him in the face.
"Pttthew," said Remus, spitting out the snow that had gotten into his mouth as he wiped the rest off his face. It wasn't until he had finished wiping the snow from his eyes, though, that he realized that Sirius had sprinted away. "Padfoot—!" he yelled, chasing after him—right after gathering enough snow to form a snowball of his own.
Several minutes later, Remus and Sirius had both gotten hit by flying snow quite a few times, although Sirius was better at dodging snowballs than Remus was, and as a result had slightly less snow covering his robes. He didn't dodge quite fast enough this time, though, as one of Remus's snowballs hit him in the shoulder.
Remus laughed as Sirius tripped over his robes upon the snowball hitting him and fell backwards into the snow, muttering. But it was then that Remus, several feet away, noticed that he felt unusually warm, despite the cold air surrounding him, and that he felt suddenly queasy. "Erg..." he said, staggering slightly as the queasiness rose to his head, and he began to feel dizzy.
"Remus?" asked Sirius, sounding somewhat concerned, although there was still a layer of suspicion in his voice. "Are you alright?" he asked, still holding the snowball he had probably intended to throw at the boy.
"I don't feel good," said Remus, sitting down clumsily in the snow. "I think I need to go inside..."
Sirius apparently decided that Remus's sudden illness wasn't feigned, as he dropped the snowball he had been holding and went over to him, extending his hand to help the boy up. Remus took the offered hand, and had used it to get halfway up when the world suddenly seemed to vibrate around him, and he felt himself falling back toward the snowy ground right before he blacked out.
* * *
Remus awoke to find that he was in a cot in the hospital wing, lying under several layers of clean white sheets. As he opened his eyes fully, he noticed light streaming through one of the many high windows in the ward, brightly illuminating the end of his bed. As far as he could tell, he was the only one in the ward. Wondering what time it was, he was about to get up to see if he could find a clock when he remembered his wristwatch. But before he could look at it, the door to the ward swung open and Madam Pomfrey entered, immediately heading over to him.
"Ah!" she exclaimed upon seeing him half-sitting up. "How long have you been awake, dear?" she asked, looking concerned.
Remus blinked and rubbed his eyes. "Ugh... Just a few seconds," he answered. "How long was I asleep?" he asked, feeling that this was a much more important question.
"Well, you were asleep when you got here, which was yesterday afternoon, and as far as I know, you didn't wake up until now," the woman responded, placing a glass of water and another glass containing a pink-orange potion on the table next to him.
"What time is it now?" Remus asked, reaching for the water and feeling utterly disoriented.
Madam Pomfrey glanced at her own wristwatch. "About 11 in the morning," she replied. "Now drink that potion," she said, motioning toward the other glass, and eat some of this," she added, handing him a largish piece of chocolate.
Not in the mood to argue, Remus set the water back down and picked up the potion, downing it all at once. It tasted somewhat sweet, but with a strange aftertaste that reminded him slightly of lemon peels. Then he obediently took a large bite of the chocolate, which was probably a bad idea, and probably also why Madam Pomfrey had thought to provide him with the water. It tasted horrible mixed with the lingering taste of potion in his mouth, but he ate it dutifully, seeing as how Madam Pomfrey was watching him out of the corner of her eye as she tidied up the area around his bed.
"How did I get here?" he asked around the last bite of chocolate, this thought suddenly coming to him as the taste of chocolate finally won in his mouth.
"Your friend brought you," the woman responded as she swept chocolate wrappers into a dustpan.
"Sirius?" Remus asked, although he knew that there was no one else who would have brought him. Madam Pomfrey nodded absently in reply as she walked off to empty the dustpan.
"Remind me to thank him..." he murmured quietly, although since Madam Pomfrey was across the room by this point, he was really just talking to himself. Leaning back down on his flat pillow, he closed his eyes and found that he was falling asleep, this time much more peacefully than the last.
* * *
The next thing he knew, someone was kissing him. Then again, the word "knew" was a loose one to use, as he was still partially delirious from the potion, which had some sleep-inducing qualities, and his eyes were closed. He stirred slightly and whoever it was stopped just as Remus finally realized the implications of what he had just thought.
"Huh?" he yelped, sitting up perfectly straight as he opened his eyes slowly, trying to accustom them to the candlelight that filled the ward. He had been dreaming... He had to be. The only other person here other than Madam Pomfrey, across the room, was... He blinked as he realized who it was sitting at the foot of his bed, staring off into the distance. "Sirius?"
"Oh..." said Sirius, turning to look at him. "You're awake."
"Uh... Yeah, I am," replied Remus, wondering what he was supposed to make of this. Hadn't Sirius noticed him shout when he woke up? Had he... Remus blinked, realizing that he was just about to wonder if Sirius had kissed him. That potion must have been making him hallucinate. But Sirius did look... Well, embarrassed, for one thing. What if he had...
The door to the ward suddenly opened loudly, causing both Remus and Sirius to jump. "Remus?" Remus recognized the voice to be James, and, sure enough, a moment later James's familiar face appeared in the doorway. "Oi, Remus!" James said, walking toward him. "Someone told me you were here... What happened to you?" he asked, sitting down on the empty cot next to Remus's.
"Huh?" Remus said for the second time in the space of a minute. "What... Oh, I'm okay... I'm not sure what happened; I think I fainted... Wait, what are you doing here?"
"It's Friday night," James reminded him, "and school starts on Monday. Most people are back already." Then he noticed Sirius. "Oh, Sirius! I didn't see you there... Sorry, mate." It was understandable, too: Sirius was sitting perfectly still, and wearing dark robes that blended in with the dimly lit wall—the candles near Remus's cot had been left unlit.
Sirius smiled slightly. "Hello, James," he said politely. "Enjoy your Christmas break?"
James went on to tell them all about his trip to France and how he ran into Lily on the muggle train coming back, while Remus listened half-heartedly and Sirius looked mildly interested but dazed. "Sirius?" James asked at one point, when Sirius hadn't moved or made any noise for several minutes.
"What? Oh, sorry, James," Sirius said, seeming to wake up. "Sorry, but I'm really tired... I think I'm going to go up to bed, now," he said, standing up.
"What time is it?" asked James, looking surprised. He looked at his wristwatch. "Oh, hey, it is late... Sorry to keep you up," he said, smiling apologetically at Remus. "Moony, are they going to let you out of here?"
"Not sure," Remus replied sleepily. "Ask Madam Pomfrey." Madam Pomfrey was in her office, but James and Sirius went and brought her back to Remus, where she looked closely at his eyes and checked his pulse and stuffed large amounts of chocolate into his mouth, and finally said that he could go back to his dorm, now. Relieved, Remus went upstairs with James and Sirius to the dorm they shared along with Peter Pettigrew, who was already asleep in his bed. Remus fell into his own bed, and immediately fell asleep, the effect of the potion still lingering.
* * *
"Moony, wake up..." Remus awoke to find James prodding him and looking down curiously at him. "It's almost 10, Moony," James informed him, showing Remus his wristwatch as if proving this to him. "C'mon, you're going to miss breakfast. And your prefect meeting," he added, grinning. "Not that I'm sure missing that would be entirely bad, or anything... Nonetheless, I'm sure Mr. Prefect wouldn't want to encourage negative behavior among—"
He was cut off by Remus shoving a pillow in his face. "I get it, James," muttered Remus, standing up and changing into his robes. "Where's Sirius?" he asked, although it came out sounding muffled because he had a sweater pulled halfway down over his face.
"What was that?" asked James, waiting by the door for him.
Remus pulled the sweater over his head completely. "I said, where's Sirius?"
"Oh," said James, opening the door and starting down the stairs. "He went to breakfast early. Said he had to write his Transfiguration essay."
"Oh..." replied Remus, a bit surprised by this. "That's odd," he commented as he followed James through the Gryffindor common room and down to the Great Hall.
"Yeah," agreed James. "I thought it was a bit funny, too. Is something wrong with him?"
For a moment, Remus considered telling James about the night before, and wondering if Sirius had kissed him, but immediately he dismissed it, reminding himself about the potion. He had been hallucinating, he reminded himself firmly. "I don't know," he responded instead.
James shrugged. "I'll try talking to him later," he said as they sat down with the other Gryffindors, who were all eagerly discussing their Christmas breaks. James looked up and down the table for someone—Lily, probably, who he had been going out with for the past few months—but gave up and piled several pancakes onto his plate and began loading them with butter and maple syrup.
Remus looked at his own plate, onto which he had placed a single pancake. He picked up his fork and knife and cut off a few pieces and ate them slowly, still feeling tired and confused despite his long sleep.
"Moony?" James was talking to him, prodding him with the dull end of a butter knife. "It's almost 10:30," he said, pointing at the clock that hung at one end of the Great Hall.
Remus nearly choked on a bite of pancake. "Ack!" he cried, flinging his fork to the table, where it grazed the edge of his place and made a chime-like noise. "I have to go!" he exclaimed, although obviously James knew this. "See you at lunch," he said hurriedly before running out of the hall and up the stairs until he reached the room where the prefects and head boy and girl from each house met each week with Professor Dumbledore himself. The meeting, as usual, was essentially dull and perked up only by Dumbledore's quirky sense of humor.
As there was no real news to discuss, the meeting was ended a mere 20 minutes after it began, and Remus found himself wandering back to the Gryffindor common room, where he sat in an armchair and read a book on charms until lunchtime, when James found him and once again dragged him down to the Great Hall to eat. Sirius was there physically, but mentally seemed to still be a bit out of it, as he hardly responded to anything James was saying, which was unusual for him.
As they got up to leave, Sirius said, "I'm going back to the library... I'll see you later."
Remus was about to ask if he wanted company, but James sent him a warning glance that suggested that perhaps it would be better if they left Sirius alone for the time being. Remus complied, and went with James back to the common room, where he was talked into playing a game of Wizard's Chess. After two losses and one stalemate, Remus told James that he was going up to the dorm to take a rest, which he did, although it was more his mind than anything that needed it. He lay awake on his bed for several hours, until he finally fell asleep in the early evening.
* * *
He awoke from a strange dream in which he had been fighting off a killer pillow and glanced at his wristwatch to find that it was a bit after 11 at night, and that James, Sirius, and Peter were all asleep in their respective beds. He had been stupid to fall asleep so early, because suddenly he realized that he was no longer tired whatsoever. He got out of his bed, trying to make as little noise as possible, and glanced over at Sirius's bed. The dark-haired boy was facing the wall, asleep.
Remus wanted to ask someone about Sirius's behavior, but he couldn't think of anyone. James was the obvious choice, but Remus knew that James was really Sirius's best friend... It would feel strange going to him to ask about Sirius. If James did know anything, he probably wouldn't tell him. He needed someone a bit more objective... Peter would work, but he didn't always feel comfortable telling important things to Peter. To be honest, the boy seemed a bit twitchy sometimes. But who else did he know who knew Sirius...?
Seconds later, he was struck by a thought. Running down the stairs of the boys' dormitories and up the stairs to the girls'—thankful that the stairs recognized him as a prefect—he found the bed of Lily Evans. She was asleep, her striking red hair flung out about her, and she looked quite pretty and peaceful. Remus knew that the peaceful part wouldn't last for long if he was going to wake her up, but he figured that since he was already standing in a girls' dorm in the middle of the night, he might as well go through with his plan.
"Lily?" He reached down and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. "Lily, are you awake?" It was a stupid question, since the girl was obviously sound asleep, but Remus asked it anyhow. He shook her gently. "Lily..."
Lily stirred and opened her eyes slowly. "Hmm? What..." Then she saw Remus. "What the BLOODY HELL?" she yelled, sitting up. It wasn't an entirely Lily-like thing to say, but Remus could sympathize. "Who the..." she blinked. "Remus?"
Remus nodded, looking around and seeing that none of the other girls in the dorm seemed to have woken up. "Sorry for waking you up," he said quietly.
"How did you get in here?" she asked through a yawn. "I thought that boys couldn't..."
Remus smiled slightly. "Now you know the real reason why Dumbledore never made James a prefect," he said.
Lily stared at him for a moment, and then grinned as she realized what he meant. "James could never be a prefect for multiple reasons," she said. "Speaking of which, what has he done now?" she asked suspiciously.
"Oh, no, I'm not here about him... I just have a question about Sirius."
Lily looked at him, clearly confused. "Er... Okay," she said. Maybe we should go down to the common room before we wake anyone else up," she suggested, getting out of her bed and heading toward the door.
"Yeah, okay," agreed Remus, following her down the stairs and to the cold common room, where he sat in his armchair across from Lily, who had staked out a couch. "You know Sirius pretty well, don't you?" he asked her once they were there, speaking quietly so that Sirius wouldn't hear if he by chance woke up.
Lily still looked puzzled, but she replied, "Well, yeah, sure I do."
Remus smoothed down a frayed edge of the deep red armchair. "Do you think he's been acting kind of... Well, strange, lately?"
Lily frowned, thinking about this. "Hmm... I guess you could say that. He was kind of quiet today, and he voluntarily spent time in the library, which is unusual for him."
"Yeah..." agreed Remus, not sounding thoroughly sure of himself.
"Why?"
"Huh?" said Remus, coming to attention.
Lily was regarding him patiently, as if she was speaking to a very young child. "Why did you wake me up in the middle of the night to ask me if I think Sirius is acting weird?"
"Oh..." Remus hadn't really thought about this. "No reason."
"Uh-huh," said Lily skeptically, and Remus could have sworn she was about to pull a notebook out of the couch and start taking notes on him. "Remus, I know you're crazy, but you forget that I also know James. The absurdity of your mental state pales in comparison to his, which makes you almost sane. What's wrong?"
"Um... Just worried about Sirius, I guess," said Remus, although he knew immediately that Lily would persist in questioning him.
He was right. "Oh, come on," scolded Lily, looking somewhat severe. "He's acting a little strange, sure, but not enough that you wouldn't just go ask him if he was okay tomorrow morning, rather than asking me. Has he said anything strange to you?"
"Er," began Remus. "Well, not exactly." Upon not receiving any further input from Lily, he continued, "I mean... Well... No," he finished lamely.
Lily looked unconvinced. "Right," she said firmly, "then what's going on?"
"I think I was hallucinating," Remus muttered, wildly out of context.
"Hallucinating about what?" Lily encouraged him.
"I..." Remus suddenly had the uncontrollable urge to throw a pillow over his face, which he did. "Nnn… Shhrrsssmm."
"Could you repeat that? I missed part—well, all of it."
Remus inched the pillow down slowly so that he could see, and loosened his hold on it slightly to improve his chances of Lily hearing him. "Sirius kissed me," he mumbled into the pillow, then realized what he had said. "Wait, I mean, I hallucinated that he did. I think. I mean..." he buried his face in the pillow. "I think I'm losing it," he muttered.
Lily didn't respond for some time. Finally, she asked, "Sirius?" Remus nodded, although he wasn't sure she could tell, since most of his head was obscured by the pillow. "Remus, stop that and look at me," Lily reprimanded, reaching over and grabbing the pillow, tossing it to the floor. "Did he really?" she asked, looking skeptical.
"Well... That's what I don't know," Remus explained. "I was just waking up... My eyes were closed. And then he was the only one there... But I might have still been half-asleep..."
Lily was smiling slightly, and Remus glared at her. "Sorry," she said, looking concerned. "It's just that... Sirius? It's hard to believe..."
Remus nodded. "Yeah, I know... That's why I think I might have been dreaming or something. I don't know. Do you know anything...?"
Lily shook her head. "Nope, sorry... Should I ask James tomorrow?"
"No, that's okay... I can talk to him myself..." Remus said, although he knew he wouldn't. If James did know anything, he probably wouldn't be able to tell him.
"Okay, then. Remus, I think you should go back to bed," Lily said, picking up the pillow from the floor and returning it to its rightful place on the couch as she made her way back to the staircase leading to the girls' dormitories.
"Mmhmm..." Remus agreed, getting up from the armchair and heading over to the other staircase. "G'night, Lily. Thanks..."
"Goodnight," said Lily, before starting up the stairs. Remus sighed and went up to his dorm, but although he got into his bed right away and closed his eyes, he didn't fall asleep for another hour and a half.
* * *
The next day began fairly uneventfully, as Remus didn't wake up until it was nearly one in the afternoon. After getting dressed, he made his way down to the Great Hall to find that lunch was nearly over. This was quite shocking for Remus, who usually never slept past 7, even on weekends, but he quickly recovered and sat down among a group of Gryffindors in his year, most of whom were discussing the essays they still had to do. Immensely relieved that he had finished his Transfiguration essay on Friday, he ate some potato soup before heading back up to the Gryffindor common room to finish the charms book he had been reading.
Upon opening the door to his dorm to find his book, he found that Sirius was in the dorm as well, sitting on the edge of his bed and looking very dazed.
"Oh, Sirius!" Remus exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" I mean—" he began to correct himself at the foolishness of asking why Sirius was in his own dorm, but Sirius cut him off.
"I think I'm going to throw up..." Sirius muttered, looking at his feet.
Remus stared. "Um... Maybe you should go to the hospital wing," he suggested, going over and sitting down next to Sirius.
"Nnn..." the black-haired boy responded, leaning against Remus.
"Come on," said Remus, standing up and pulling Sirius up with him. "Just hope you don't have whatever I had that made me—Oh, Merlin..." he muttered, as Sirius collapsed onto the carpet, unconscious.
After trying unsuccessfully for several minutes to wake Sirius up, Remus figured that he would have to get the boy to the hospital wing somehow. This, however, proved to be more difficult than he might have thought. Since the two boys were about the same height and weight, Remus was starting to wonder just how Sirius had managed to get him all the way to the hospital wing from outside. After about 10 minutes, Remus had managed to drag/carry Sirius down the stairs and across the common room, and had finally made it all the way to the portrait entrance when it suddenly swung open to reveal a surprised Lily Evans.
"Remus? What..." She looked down at Sirius, who was lying, unconscious, on the ground by Remus's feet.
"He's sick," Remus explained, still somewhat out of breath from the trip across the room. "He fainted like I did on Friday."
Lily's eyebrows rose. "Really? That's funny... The same thing just happened to James. We were going to go outside, but on the way there he said he felt sick and then fainted on the spot."
"Hmmm..." pondered Remus. "Maybe it's some sort of contagious thing. Can't be that bad, though... I was fine by the next day."
"Yeah..." said Lily somewhat doubtfully. "Madam Pomfrey will probably want to give him something, though," she said, motioning to the unconscious Sirius.
"Can you help me get him to the hospital wing?" Remus asked, looking pained. "It took me forever just to get this far."
Lily retrieved her wand from her pocket and pointed it at Sirius, performing what Remus thought was a simple floating spell on him. Sure enough, Sirius rose a few feet in the air and then hung there, perfectly suspended.
"That should make things easier," she said, sounding vaguely pleased with herself.
Remus stared. "Is this how you got James to the hospital wing?" he asked.
"Hmm? Oh, no, we were right by it when he fainted," Lily explained, starting to push Sirius out the door.
"But... The teachers... Filch... We're not supposed to do magic outside of class, and this is kind of hard to miss..."
Lily looked at him, exasperated. "Oh, come on, do you think any teacher will really get mad at us for trying to take him to the hospital wing? Come on," she said, pulling him out of the common room and closing the portrait of the Fat Lady behind them.
"Okay..." Remus agreed, following her and lightly tapping Sirius every so often to keep him moving forward.
Getting Sirius to the hospital wing while he was suspended in mid-air may have been easier than the alternatives, but it was certainly a cause for attention in the hallways of the castle, and proved to be a bit tricky while going down staircases. But eventually, they got him to the ward, where Madam Pomfrey (who was a bit alarmed to see a patient floating) got him to a bed and then lifted the charm. He fell a few inches to the bed, where Madam Pomfrey checked his pulse and felt his forehead for temperature and a good deal of other things, before finally telling Remus and Lily that he and James were both suffering from the flu. Then she seemed to realized that they were there.
"But I thought... I mean, I didn't think the flu bothered anyone but muggles!" Lily protested as Madam Pomfrey ushered them to the door.
"Not muggle flu," explained the woman hurriedly. "It's something different. Wizard's flu. Got the same name because of some of the symptoms, but it's really quite different…" Madam Pomfrey began to get a dreamy look in her eyes, and Remus realized that he had never really thought of Madam Pomfrey as someone who knew much about diseases or anything of the sort. She had always just seemed like a caretaker, not like a healer.
"So, er, they'll be alright, won't they?" asked Remus.
"Of course," Madam Pomfrey assured them absently while shooing them furiously out the door, which she closed in front of them as soon as they were on the other side of it.
Remus stared at the wooden door in front of him for a few moments, before turning to Lily. "Get the feeling that she doesn't want us in there?" he asked, sounding amused and a bit concerned.
Lily simply looked worried. "Wizard's flu?" she repeated, turning from the door. "I've never heard of that before... But... Well, is that what you had?"
Remus shrugged. "No idea," he said. "It seems like it, though, since the random fainting and everything was exactly what happened to me."
"Yeah... Well, that would be good, right?" said Lily. "I mean, you were okay the next day, weren't you?"
Remus nodded. "I'm sure neither of them would want to miss a day of education," he said, looking completely serious.
Lily laughed. "Heavens, no," she added, grinning as they went back to the common room.
The next day, however, James and Sirius were not present for Transfiguration, the first class after Christmas break, and they weren't the only ones. Between the Gryffindors and the Hufflepuffs, whom they shared Transfiguration with, there were over a dozen students absent.
After a strangely empty Transfiguration class and an appallingly boring History one, Remus decided to stop by the hospital wing before lunch to see how James and Sirius were. When he got there, the door was closed as it had been the last time he had seen it, so he knocked tentatively. After a few moments, it swung open to reveal a tired and unhappy-looking Madam Pomfrey.
"What do you need?" she asked when she saw Remus, her patience clearing wearing thin.
"Erm... Just wondering how my friends are..."
"Sorry, I can't let you in. Very contagious in there," she said, nodding knowingly.
"But—well, I mean, didn't I already get it?"
Madam Pomfrey regarded him skeptically. "Hmmm... That's right, isn't it? You were the first one. Guess I should have known then..." She seemed to think this over. "Well, you obviously didn't suffer from it as much as the others, but I doubt it'll cause any harm for you to be exposed..." Remus looked hopeful. "Oh, alright, just don't disturb the sleeping patients," Madam Pomfrey finally said, opening the door wider to let him in.
Upon entering, Remus was shocked. The hospital wing was a large room, but normally it held only a few students. Today was clearly different. Every cot was filled, and it seemed that many more had been added since Remus had last been there. As he walked through the rows of cots, he noticed James's familiar glasses on one of the bedside tables that sat rather awkwardly near the center of the room. James, though, was sound asleep, so Remus moved on to the corner cot he remembered Sirius being put in. Sirius was not asleep, and was, in fact, trying to balance an empty glass on one finger.
"Hello, Sirius," said Remus quietly as he approached.
"Remus?" The glass dropped, but luckily only to the soft mattress beneath the boy. "Oh, hello," Sirius said, smiling as he picked up the glass and set it down on the small table next to him.
"How are you feeling?" Remus asked, sitting down at the foot of the cot.
"Eh, not bad..." Sirius replied tiredly, sitting up. "What exactly happened to me?"
"Same thing that happened to me. You fainted, or something, so I was trying to get you here... You're a lot heavier than you look," he added, scowling slightly. "Anyhow, Lily found me dragging you out of the common room, so she put a floating charm on you and we brought you here."
Sirius was grinning. "Good thing Lily showed up," he commented. "I can just see you dragging me down every staircase in the castle. But thanks," he added, slightly more seriously.
"Well, I guess we're even now."
Sirius frowned. "Yeah, but I actually had to carry you," he said, his frown suddenly replaced by something of a grin.
"Did not," Remus retorted. "It's not my fault that you didn't think of doing a floating charm."
"Hey, neither did you!"
Remus didn't have an answer to this. "Fine then, be that way," he said finally, knowing that it was a lame comeback and not particularly caring. Sirius smirked, and for a moment, neither of them said anything. Then Remus asked, "Did you really carry me all the way from the front grounds to here?"
Sirius nodded. "You're easy to carry," he stated simply, closing his eyes as he fell back against his pillow.
Remus wasn't so sure of this, considering how hard it had been to carry Sirius, but he figured that the other boy was probably stronger. "Um... Thanks," he said quietly, although he wondered if perhaps Sirius had fallen asleep, since the boy's breathing had becoming deep and rhythmic.
He was proven wrong, though, when Sirius murmured, "You're welcome," without opening his eyes. Surprisingly, the boy looked very calm and peaceful when he was asleep—or, at least, almost asleep. Remus reminded himself that this probably wasn't anything to be surprised about; most people looked peaceful asleep. Remus smiled. Somehow, though, it was hard to imagine Sirius ever looking peaceful—any time he thought about the boy, images of his cocky grin came to mind. Suddenly, Remus wanted to ask Sirius about the other thing that had happened while he was unconscious—or half-unconscious, as the case might be.
"Sirius?" he asked, standing up and moving up so that he could talk to Sirius without the nearest person who wasn't asleep hearing. Sirius didn't stir, but Remus suddenly felt that if he didn't ask now, he would never do it. "Did you kiss me when you came to visit me? Before I woke up?" he asked quietly, hoping that the boy wasn't asleep yet. There was no response, but after a moment, Remus thought that Sirius's face had turned slightly pink. Was he just pretending to be asleep—?
Before he could investigate this further, though, he felt Madam Pomfrey's hand on his shoulder. "I think you should be getting back to class," she said firmly, although her face softened slightly at the look on Remus's face. "Come on, your friend's asleep and you have a class to get to," she said, shooing him away as he stood up.
"Class?" Remus asked, confused. He looked at his watch, and saw that the lunch hour had passed more quickly than he had thought. It was nearly one, and he hadn't even eaten anything yet. "Thanks!" he called to Madam Pomfrey as the door shut behind him, racing off to grab something from the dinner table before getting to Potions.
As it turned out, the only thing he got to eat for lunch that day was a dinner roll, which didn't help him concentrate any better in Potions, where he was paired with Peter. Several times, he found himself wondering if Sirius had heard him, or contemplating how hungry he was, only to be shaken out of his daze by Peter, who was usually telling him something along the lines of, "Remus, you're about to catch fire and ruin the potion."
This was not a very good day for Remus. Normally, he was one of the better students in Potions, but not being able to focus suddenly made him careless and confused, and it was only thanks to Peter, who was just barely competent in Potions, that their potion produced something near the desired results.
Later that day, after dinner, Remus was reading in an armchair by the common room fireplace when James showed up.
"James?" Remus asked, putting down his book. "Glad to see you're feeling better..." he said, smiling at his friend. "How's Sirius?"
James looked confused. "Sirius? What do you mean? Was he there, too?"
Remus was about to point out that they had been in the same hospital wing for a day, but quickly realized that with the ward so full, it wouldn't be hard for James not to notice Sirius. "Yeah, Lily and I brought him there," he explained.
"Oh," said James. "I didn't even know he was there... Speaking of Lily, where is she?"
"Probably in her dorm," said Remus. "Go get some girl to get her," he said, not wanting to mention that, as a prefect, he would be capable of doing this, as well. "I'm going to go upstairs to read for a while," he said. "See you." With this, he started up the stairs to his dorm, where he lay on his bed, reading a book on hexes and wondering what on Earth had happened that day with Sirius until he at last fell asleep.
* * *
The next day passed fairly uneventfully. Remus, James, Peter, and Lily, all went together to visit Sirius after their classes for the day were over, but it turned out to be a pointless trip, since Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let anyone but Remus and James go inside, and it turned out that Sirius was asleep, anyhow.
Remus was particularly annoyed by this, since he had almost found out... Well, found out something the last time he had been there. If Madam Pomfrey hadn't made him leave... He shook his head. If she hadn't made him leave, he would have been late for Potions. Then again, he wouldn't have really minded if it meant finding out... Well, finding out if Sirius had kissed him. It sounded stupid to say, even inside his own head, but he couldn't help it. That was what he wanted to know. He was just curious, that was all...
Somehow he had managed to think about this for the past several days without actually wondering about the implications if Sirius had kissed him. How he had done this, he wasn't sure, but he was glad for it. The thought of Sirius kissing him wasn't as disturbing as it perhaps should have been. But Lily was right... It was completely crazy. Not Sirius...
"Moony?" The familiar voice belonged to James, who was lying on the bed adjacent to Remus's, flipping through an old edition of some wizarding magazine. "Something wrong?"
"Huh? Uh, no," Remus said quickly, afraid that the sudden flushing of his face would go unnoticed. He realized that he had been staring off into space, and that the space he had been staring off into happened to be a spot a few feet above James's head.
James looked somewhat concerned, and he closed the magazine. "Are you sure, Moony?" he asked. "You've been kind of quiet lately."
"Well, without Sirius around pestering me, I'm not too surprised," Remus said jokingly, although his eyes revealed concern of their own.
"You worried about him?" James asked casually.
Remus sighed and buried his face into his pillow. "Of course," he finally mumbled, figuring that to deny this point would be... Well, impossible, for one thing. James knew him all too well.
"Thought so," James said with something that could have been satisfaction. In fact, pondered Remus, looking up at the spectacled boy who had turned his attention back to the near-tabloid magazine, James's expression was bordering on smug.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Remus asked, feeling a bit annoyed for no particular reason.
"Nothing that would be worth explaining," James said absently, flipping a page.
"Anything you don't find worth explaining is probably worth hearing," Remus said suspiciously, now fully attentive.
James, however, was now in a place far away. "Uh-huh..." he muttered, flipping a few pages in succession.
Remus was thoroughly annoyed. "Fine, be that way," he said, realizing that this was the second time this week he had resorted to using that expression as a comeback. He sighed. He was never great at arguments, but he had some dignity. "I mean... Oh, never mind. I'm going to take a walk."
James glanced up, a look of amusement and slight regret crossing his face. "Going to stop by the hospital wing?" he asked, smiling slightly.
Remus was seriously starting to want to shake James a bit and ask him what he was implying with that smile. "I... Well, yes," he finally said, since this was indeed what he had been planning. "Want to come?"
"Nah, that's okay," James said, still smiling as he looked down to his magazine. "Tell Padfoot that I said hello if he's awake."
"Er... Right," replied Remus, standing up and heading for the door, still feeling suspicious. He was getting the feeling that this was some sort of a trap, but he ignored it and walked out of the room with a determined air.
Madam Pomfrey, by the looks of her, had about reached the end of her rope. Despite several students being released from the hospital wing the previous day, the total number of patients seemed to be steadily increasing. Some, like Remus and James, were fine after a day or two of sleep, while others, like Sirius, proved exactly why the illness was named after the muggle flu.
"Hey, Remmy," Sirius said quietly when he saw the boy coming to visit him. "Pomfrey told me that you guys came to see me earlier."
"Yeah," Remus replied, "but she only would let me and James in... Not that it really mattered, since you were asleep. By the way, James says hello."
"Sorry," Sirius said, smiling slightly.
"What, for being asleep?" Remus asked, smiling as well. "I find it hard to believe that you could be held responsible for that."
"Right. Don't mind me if I start babbling incoherently or something; I have a fever and my head hurts. So does my throat, actually," Sirius commented, making a face. He seemed relatively cheerful about this fact, considering his circumstances.
"Erm, maybe you shouldn't talk?" Remus suggested, looking worried. "I know Madam Pomfrey can cure a sore throat, though... Why don't you just tell her—"
"There's nothing she can do," Sirius said, cutting him off with a hand gesture. "Well, she's been feeding us all loads of chocolate, but I hardly think that counts as a cure," he added with a weak grin.
Remus didn't look convinced. "Maybe I should go..." he said. "You look tired."
Sirius pouted. "Aw, don't leave..." he said, closing his eyes. "It's been so boring here."
Remus smiled, reaching over and running his hand through the other boy's dark hair like he had a few days ago in the library. It took Remus a few moments to realize that he was still playing with Sirius's smooth black hair, and that he should probably stop, which he did. Sirius hadn't looked like he had minded, but, then again, he was probably asleep by now.
"So, anything interesting happen today?" Sirius asked suddenly, opening his eyes. So much for the theory that he was sleeping.
"Uh... Well, um..." Remus stammered, a bit surprised that Sirius wasn't asleep. "Well, not really," he finally managed. "Except for half the class being gone," he added.
"Oh." Sirius smiled. "I think you're getting to be a bad influence on me, Moony... Today I actually found myself wishing that I could be in Transfiguration rather than here."
Remus grinned. "Wow..." he commented. "You really must have been bored." It was funny, actually, how Sirius acted toward school. He and James both were almost certainly more talented at Transfiguration than any other 17-year olds in the country, and yet they still complained about it and compensated for their abysmal written test scores only by their obvious talent at the subject. Remus was determined that it was partly only for show.
"Yeah, I—" Sirius began, but stopped as Madam Pomfrey came over to his cot.
"Mister Lupin, visiting hours are over," she said firmly. "Off you go." She looked somewhat exasperated, but slightly amused underneath.
"Oh... Okay," Remus replied, looking at Sirius as he stood up. "Hope you feel better..."
Sirius smiled and closed his eyes again. "Thanks... G'night, Remmy."
"Goodnight," Remus said, both to Sirius and Madam Pomfrey, who was standing nearby, as he made his way out the door and back up to the common room and then to his dorm, where he found James, still smiling at him as if he had never moved.
"So, how's Sirius?" James asked, throwing the magazine haphazardly under his bed and rolling over to gaze at the red canopy above him.
"Still sick, but okay," Remus replied, flopping down tiredly onto his own bed. "What time is it, anyhow?" he asked, not feeling like bothering to look at his watch.
"Bit after 8," James replied, glancing at the clock between their beds. "Are you changing the subject?" he asked, grinning.
"What? James, what are you talking about?" Remus asked, feeling honestly quite confused.
"Nothing..." replied James innocently. "It's just that you've been acting a bit strangely around Sirius lately," he explained. "Kind of like Peter and that Hufflepuff girl... Alice or something?" To his great dismay, Remus knew who James was speaking of. Alisha Tiller was a short girl with dark hair who Peter had had a crush on for the past few months. They all knew that he had a crush on her because he had been avoiding her with great skill and dedication, and was actually getting so good at it that they joked that someday he would finally get around to asking her out, and she wouldn't even recognize him.
"What—but..." Remus sputtered, not really seeing the connection. "Do you think I fancy Sirius or something?" he finally asked.
"That would depend—do you?"
Remus thought that this was all incredibly unfair. "I—no! I mean, not that I—Well, I mean..." He knew that he was probably quite red by this time, but he somehow couldn't bring himself to say that he didn't, which was what he thought he was going to say. "This is all his bloody fault! I had nothing to do with any of it!" he exclaimed. "It isn't my fault that..." he trailed off, crawling under the covers of his bed and pulling them over his head. "That's it. I am not speaking to you again for a very long time."
He heard a sound that was remarkably like a suppressed laugh, but he chose to ignore it. James, luckily (for himself, mostly) did not press the issue, leaving Remus to slowly realize that he would suffocate if he remained buried in his pillow for much longer. Finally, he pushed the covers from his head and turned over so as to be able to breathe.
"Remus—" began James, but Remus cut him off.
"James? Please go to sleep and stop talking to me."
"It's not even 8:30 yet, Remus."
"I don't care. Just stop talking."
There was a long pause, followed by, "Fine. Be that way."
Despite himself, Remus grinned, hoping that James wouldn't notice. He had won for now. Tomorrow was another question entirely.
* * *
"Moony—"
"I told you that I wasn't going to talk to you, James," Remus replied, stabbing a piece of meatloaf at lunch the next day.
"Aw, come on, Moony, I was only teasing you..." James had finished eating long ago, and had now turned all his attention toward trying to get Remus to speak to him.
"Teasing him about what?" Lily asked from next to James, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.
"Oh—nothing," James lied rather badly. Lily raised an eyebrow but did not make any further comment.
"We need to get to Herbology," Remus informed them, standing up and ignoring the piece of meatloaf still speared on his fork. The others followed suit, and they headed off to the greenhouses.
Remus managed to remain very true to his word, and only spoke a few sentences to James the entire day. Why he was doing this, he wasn't quite sure, but it seemed to be good for something. He wasn't exactly angry at James, but he was confused and talking to James wasn't helping.
He was feeling a bit disturbed by the fact that he hadn't been able to simply tell James that he didn't fancy Sirius at all. It was a stupid question, and he had thought that the answer was obvious. But it wasn't. It wasn't his fault, either, he had decided. It was all Sirius's fault for... Wait, no. It was all Madam Pomfrey's fault for giving him that bloody potion that had made him hallucinate that Sirius had kissed him. Yes. That was more like it.
Then he remembered that he had actually asked Sirius about it. Granted, the boy had been asleep... Or had he? He had blushed, unless Remus was really hallucinating. But of course he had blushed; it was a stupid question. Maybe the thought was so ridiculous that Sirius had pretended to be asleep so he wouldn't have to answer.
"Remus?" A hand was being waved in front of his face. A female hand. Lily's hand, to be precise. "Remus, are you awake?" This was an odd question, seeing that his eyes were open. Then again, he hadn't blinked in a very long time.
"Oh, yeah, I'm awake..." Remus answered, looking down at the Herbology homework he had been doing. They were sitting in the common room; Remus was sitting in his usual armchair, working, and James and Lily were playing wizard's chess.
Or they had been, at least. As Remus looked at the board more carefully, he saw that James's king was cornered on one side of the board, yelling at the queen and rook that were looking smugly at him. Looking up at Lily, Remus saw that she wore an identical smug expression. "Told you I could beat you," she said to James, who was looking irritated.
James sighed. "Now you know why I normally play with Sirius," he muttered, putting the chess set back in its box."
"Why, because I always win when you play with me?" Lily asked coolly.
James glared. "No, because you gloat."
"I do not," Lily replied, sounding offended. "And Sirius is worse."
"Yeah, but..." James trailed off, which Remus personally thought was probably a good move.
"Right," Lily said, standing up and messing up his hair fondly. She smirked. "I'm going up to bed now... Goodnight."
"'Night, Lily," said James, getting up and tapping Remus on the shoulder. "C'mon, Moony, let's go upst..." he stopped and looked up suddenly. "Padfoot!"
"Huh?" Remus's head snapped up, to see that Sirius was indeed coming through the portrait hole to the common room.
"Hullo," Sirius said as the portrait swung shut on its own behind him. "Pomfrey said that I could go back to my dorm now..."
"How do you feel?" Remus asked, blinking.
"Better," Sirius replied, sounding tired. "I still have a headache, but Pomfrey said that there's not much else she could do, and that I could just go back to my own bed as long as I promised to eat all this chocolate she gave me," he explained, rolling his eyes.
James grinned. "Well, that's good," he said. "It's getting late; let's go upstairs..." he suggested, looking at Sirius, who looked like he might collapse soon.
"Yeah, okay," agreed Remus, starting up the stairs to their dorm.
James and Sirius followed several steps behind, discussing—quite unusually for them—their classes. This had something to do with Sirius knowing what he had missed, but Remus wasn't paying attention. When they got to their dorm, Remus got into his bed right away, closing his eyes and hoping that he would fall asleep quickly.
He didn't. He ended up listening to Peter snoring, James flipping through that stupid magazine again, and Sirius... Well, not doing anything in particular, which was kind of a shame, since anything he did would probably be more interesting than snoring or flipping pages of a magazine. Remus instinctively shoved this thought from his mind and turned to face the wall.
An hour or two later (he wasn't paying very close attention) he was still looking at the wall. Even though he couldn't really see the wall very well, since James had stopped reading and there was very little light coming through the window, he was pretty sure that watching paint do absolutely nothing was worse than watching it dry. He had never actually watched paint dry, though, so he had no basis for this comparison.
The conversation he was having with himself went something like this:
I can't sleep. I can't sleep. Ar... What does James know, anyhow? I'm going to fall asleep any second now... Really... I do not like Sirius. Did he really—ARGH! WHY am I not asleep yet? I have to sleep... Have to... Have to... Huh? Ack, I'm still awake. I don't want to move. I'm going to wake everyone else up. I just want to be asleep. That's it. I'm going down to the common room. I think. Yeah, I'm not tired at all.
It wasn't a very pleasant conversation, which was why a few minutes later, Remus was stumbling down the steps to the common room with his book on hexes and reading glasses in hand. The bright light coming from the candles, which were always lit, hurt his eyes at first, but they soon adjusted and he was able to sit in his armchair and read in peace.
"...Remmy?"
Remus spun around, dropping his book on the ground. "What—Sirius?" Sirius was standing at the bottom of the stairs, squinting at the light and looking very tired. "Sirius, what are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep," Sirius explained tiredly, "and then I saw that you were gone, so I came down here to see where you were."
Remus picked up the book that had fallen, still looking at Sirius. "You sound tired," he said, a bit worriedly. "You're still sick; go back to bed."
Sirius ignored this and walked over toward Remus, flopping down on the couch across from him. "What're you doing up?" he asked, his eyes closed.
"I... couldn't sleep, either," Remus replied, "obviously, or else I wouldn't be here reading." He sighed.
"Mm," Sirius replied noncommittally. "Right." He sat up a bit and opened his eyes. "I've never noticed you up at night before," he commented.
"Well, yeah... I usually can sleep at night," Remus said. "Except around full moon, sometimes, but that's not too bad."
"Oh," Sirius responded.
"Why, are you usually awake in the middle of the night?" Remus asked.
"Er, not that often," Sirius answered. "Only sometimes." He sat up, looking less tired. If Sirius hadn't been unable to sleep before, he would be now, Remus pondered. "What's that you're reading?" Sirius asked, peering at the cover of the book Remus held.
"Oh... It's a book on hexes," Remus replied quietly, suddenly beginning to feel tired.
"Ah," said Sirius understandingly. He stood up and leaned on the back of the couch a bit before walking over to one of the windows that looked out to the grounds below. "It's snowing," he informed Remus, turning around to look at him.
"Er..." replied Remus, not exactly sure what he was supposed to say. "Is it?" He stood up and went over to the window to discover that, yes, it was snowing. He sighed. "Sirius, you should go back to bed," he said, noticing that the other boy still looked tired.
"Huh?" Sirius blinked and looked up. "Oh... Well, so should you," he said. "But since you're not going to, I might as well stay up, too."
Remus pondered this for a moment. "Er... Then I suppose I should go to bed so I won't feel bad for keeping you awake and getting you sick again."
"Er... I guess," Sirius said, looking somewhat sheepish.
"Sirius?" Remus asked, just as the boy started to turn toward the stairs. No... Why was he doing this? He should just go back to bed and... Well... He knew that, even though he did feel somewhat more tired now, he still wouldn't be able to rest properly until...
"Hmm? What?" Sirius asked, turning back to look at Remus.
"Uh... You know when you came to visit me in the hospital wing a few days ago and I was sleeping?" Remus asked, feeling that he was digging a large hole for himself to get stuck in.
"Yeah..."
"Um..." Remus bit his tongue, trying to force himself to look calm. "Did you kiss me?" he asked, knowing that his voice was barely audible. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, either. He was studying the ground very intently at this point, suddenly feeling an overwhelming urge to go back to his bed and stay there for several days with the covers over his head. Finally, he glanced back up at Sirius, who was looking... scared?
"Yeah," he heard Sirius mutter, very quietly, before he, too, took to studying the carpet.
"Nn?" Remus made a noise of surprise and then stared at Sirius. "You mean I wasn't hallucinating?" he asked, this being, quite honestly, the first thought that had come into his mind.
"Er... Probably not," said Sirius, smiling slightly.
Two or three thoughts came to Remus all at once as he looked down at the carpet again. The first one was, Wow! I'm not as crazy as I thought! The second was, Wait, he did? The third, more obviously, was something along the lines of Nnnnn... only a bit more dizzy-like.
Then he looked up and saw that Sirius had turned an odd shade of red. Somehow, this was strangely comforting. "Um..." Remus began, and then gave up. "Well, that's good to know. I thought I was losing my mind."
Sirius looked obviously relieved that Remus didn't appear bothered. "Er, no, you lost your mind a long time ago. About the same time you first started associating with me and James," he said, still looking at the floor despite the grin on his face.
Remus couldn't help but laugh at this; he had a feeling it was a result of feeling overly emotional. And what emotion would that be? a nagging voice in the back of his head that sounded a lot like James asked. "Shut up," Remus muttered out loud, and then quickly looked up at Sirius. "Um, not you," he quickly corrected, although he realized that there was no one else he could have been talking to.
Sirius looked confused for a moment, and then smiled again. "Yup," he said. "Completely nuts."
Remus suddenly felt like hugging someone, and since Sirius was standing right in front of him, he hugged him. Yes. That was why.
"Oof," said Sirius as Remus collided with him, and then almost immediately backed away. "What was that for?"
"Er..." said Remus, not expecting to be asked what it was for. "Well..." Thankfully, he was spared of having to answer this question when Sirius took a step toward him and kissed him. It was, unsurprisingly, very similar to the time Sirius had kissed him when he was half asleep, with the obvious benefit of being fully conscious. If you wanted to call it a benefit. Okay, so maybe it was a benefit.
Remus blinked as Sirius, looking surprised at himself, took a step back. Sirius smiled almost imperceptibly, and Remus realized that he was smiling back, which he thought was strange... Then several things started to make sense all at once, which left Remus only to stand in shock and think of obscenities he had a sudden desire to use.
Before he could actually get around to using any of them, though, he heard a very, very, very small noise coming from the vicinity of the stairs leading to the boys' dorms. Then there was a creak and the sound of footsteps, and by the time he had turned to look toward the stairs, all he caught was a glimpse of something that looked quite a bit like James. He paled.
"Was that... James?" asked Sirius, looking somewhat amused.
"Erm..." said Remus, feeling slightly sick. "I think so."
Neither of them said anything for a long moment, and then Sirius suddenly started laughing. Struck by the random absurdity of everything, Remus found that he was laughing, too. James must have been very confused to come into the common room a few moments later to see them both cracking up and leaning on the windowsill for support.
"Do I really want to know what is going on here?" James asked, looking bleary-eyed.
"No, probably not," said Sirius, grinning maniacally.
"Were you here a minute ago?" Remus asked, his own laughter starting to subside.
"Er... Possibly," said James, an evil grin spreading across his face.
"Arrrrrgh," muttered Remus, glaring.
"Right," said James, quite cheerfully. "I'm going back on up to bed now. Ta." And with that, he turned and bounded up the stairs, cackling audibly.
"That's it. I'm going to hurt James tomorrow," Sirius grumbled scathingly.
"That's an excellent idea," Remus agreed, smiling.
"Had you really convinced yourself that you were hallucinating?" Sirius asked suddenly, looking at Remus.
"Well, yeah. Sort of. It seemed more likely than anything else."
"You have a point," Sirius said with a grin. "Guess this is unlikely, then."
Remus momentarily forgot about James, about all the conversations he had been having with himself, and even about the fact that he was standing in the common room in his pajamas in the middle of the night. Everything made sense for just an instant, and that was enough. "Very unlikely," he said, nodding wisely. Then he smiled and hugged Sirius again, adding, "But much better than a hallucination."
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There. I have officially written my first Harry Potter fanfiction, and my first slash fanfiction. Review!