Amelia Shepherd sat on the deck of Owen's trailer staring out at the moonlight sky. The quiet and the cool breeze was refreshing after an evening of talking to the police and trying to talk to Meredith. The police had found Derek's car near a crash site but they hadn't found him.
The police were investigating but Amelia could see that Meredith was freaking out. Soon the "family" had come round and Amelia found herself walking alone outside. She hadn't even realized that her feet had taken her to Owen's trailer.
Her heart clenched when she thought about Derek. She couldn't imagine a world without her annoying big brother there to save the day. She may not have appreciated him at the time telling her all the times she had screwed up but she did now. Now she knew that he had only done it because he cared.
But that was how it went in her life. People that she loved disappeared. Her dad, Ryan, her baby and now Derek.
A truck pulled up. Amelia looked up and locked eyes with the tall red headed doctor. His face was a whole mixture of emotions as he approached her. There wasn't the easy "hey it's nice to see you" smile that there had been before but a stern grimace and a straight back. But then his eyes betrayed his concern.
"Amelia. I heard about Derek. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
She sniffed hard to stop her tears. After all the shit she had put him through, she didn't deserve his kindness. But that was precisely why he was the man she had fallen in love with. It was why he was the man she was terrified to be in love with.
"No. I… The police…No. Just listen."
She stood up, even on the stairs she had to look up to meet his eyes. Not for the first time she wished he had grown just a little taller. She was sure it would have made her less scared.
"I…You...It's not…"
"Amelia."
She winced at the hard edge to his voice but deep down she knew she deserved it.
"It's not that you're not enough of high. God knows it's not that. When you touch me it does something magic. It feels like it fills all the spaces in me. I feel whole. And I haven't felt that way in a very very long time."
Amelia was glad she saw it was enough to make his posture soften just a little. She looked up and his look told her she needed to continue.
She exhaled slowly still not sure how she was going to explain the knotty complicated mess of emotions that made her up.
"And it is easy for me to get addicted. And with you…Owen…I could so easily fall for you. And fall for you hard. All in. No exceptions."
"But?"
His question was barely a murmur.
"But I'm terrified."
Two steps closer and she could feel his warmth which started to send her head in a spin. He used his hand to tilt her head up to his so she could see his earnest gaze.
"Of what Amelia? Of being in love with me?"
She shook her head.
"Of not being enough for you. Of us being a plane crash. Of destroying you. Of not being Christina. Of so not being enough for you that you take a bunch of pills and I find you dead. I want the happily ever after. I want the white picket fence, the kids playing on the back lawn, the anniversaries but I have absolutely no idea how to get there."
"I need to know that I can be good enough for you and I'm not sure I can be."
She stood on her tiptoes and placed a quick gentle kiss on his lips before hoping down off the stairs.
"And I just needed to say that."
She had made about ten steps when a single question stopped her.
"What makes you think you get to decide?"
Amelia stopped as Owen covered the ground to her in four long strides. He spun her around and held her shoulders.
"You don't get to decide whether you can be good enough for me. I do. And before you say anything you can be. That day with Ruby and her mum in the cabin. You had my back the whole way through. And from there on in you had me."
"What about now?"
"It depends. Can you promise not to push me away again the next time you get scared? That you can just tell me what's going on? And that we'll work through it one way or another? I don't need you to be perfect Amelia. I just…You have to be honest with me."
She looked up at him and lost herself in the turmoil of emotion in his eyes. Lust she recognized. Vulnerability she recognized. But what was new was hope. They were at a crossroads and she needed to make a choice. And she wanted to make a good choice.
Could she make this incredibly kind and generous man happy? That she didn't know. But could she try? Well she had got her life back on track through hard work and sheer minded determinedness. She knew how to persevere. So she would try her damnedest to be honest and she wouldn't run. He would be worth it. She didn't doubt that.
"Okay. Honesty. I can do that."
"Are you sure?"
"No. But I'm going to try my damned hardest at it."
She smiled up at him and whispered.
"It'll be worth it."
She'd barely got the words out before his mouth crashed into hers and his hands tangled in her silky hair. She put her arms around his neck pulling herself closer to him as he trailed kisses over her cheek.
"Do you want to come back to mine?"
His whisper was full of desire and she was tempted to follow him.
"Yes. But no. Derek. Mer. I need to get back."
He nodded with concern and kissed her again quickly before moving away as if to return to his trailer.
"Come with me? I'm scared that I have absolutely no idea what to do. I would like you to be there."
Her heart beat rapidly as she felt her stomach twist with uncertainty. Had she pushed it too far too quickly? She didn't want to be a crazy, needy sort but what she had said was true.
Owen turned and held out his hand to her.
They walked to the house and found it filled with concerned people from the hospital. No one questioned as they walked in and found an end of a sofa to curl up on, Owen's arm around Amelia's waist and her head resting in crook of his neck.
And in that moment, even with all the chaos and uncertainty, something good had happened.