The Curse Of Maraqua
Chapter 1
Pepper Jack? GNARLY!
Many years ago in a small fishing village... there lived a young usul named Garin.
Jacques: Haha what kind of stupid name is Garin?
Garin: Shut the hell up.
Jacques: Go on! I'll watch for girls!
He was known for always getting into trouble,usually urged on by his best friend Jacques.
Garin: HAHA! What kind of name is JACQUES? You French-
Jacques: I get it, Garin. T.T
Weewoos: Wee-wooo! (Translation, haha foolz!)
-SLIP-
Garin: WTH WAS THAT? JACQUES, HELP!
Weewoos: Wee-wooo! (Translation, that was weewoo poo.)
Jacques: Hold on! I need a beer!
As he hung for life and death, Garin noticed somebody looking up at him. It was a beautiful young sea-aisha. Somehow her gaze gave him the courage to hang on.
Sea-aisha: Don't move or I'll shoot, bizz-atch. What a Little Mermaid knockoff...
Jacques: We're coming! Sorry, these random old men followed me when they figured out I had beer.
Garin glanced back for one last look at the beautiful creature, and then she was gone.
Sea-aisha: Good luck ya bizz-atch!
The Aisha had defied King Kelpbeard's strict order never to mix with with the surface dwelling folk.
Sea-aisha: That sucks azz. Now who can I taunt?
Not long ago, the city had been destroyed by a pirate's curse.
Kelpbeard: I farted. Wwhhooppss, mah bad.
Kelpbeard, king of the undersea realm saved as many of the maraquans as he could.
Kelpbeard: WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT, BIZZ-NATCHES!
He returned many times in search of survivors...
Kelpbeard: MAN, that was a good one.
...and on one such journey, he found two sisters named Isca and Caylis hiding from looters.
Isca: TAKE HER! SHE'S THE PRETTY ONE!
Caylis: MONEY CAN'T BUY LOVE!
The King took the sisters to a make-shift refuge where he was gathering survivors of the disaster.
Caylis: WTF! Is this place made out of toilet paper?
As the sisters grew, Isca began having remarkably vivid dreams where she foresaw things that helped the Maraquans avoid peril.
Isca: The cellar is empty again.
Kelpbeard: Shiht! Why is the rum always gone?
The King praised Isca and often called on her for advice in troubling times.
Kelpbeard: What kind of cheese is my hat made out of?
Isca: Tastes like Pepper Jack.
Kelpbeard: Gnarly.
Isca: Duuude.
Caylis felt neglected as her sister's talent grew and the king continued to favor her.
Caylis: Damn, she's psychic! That foo'in Barbie.
She began having nightmares of terrible disasters that would always come true.
Caylis: I blame the landfill.
Kid inside house: Mommy, why the hell is poop tumbling down the hill and-
SPLAT
The Maraquans began to feel that Caylis was causing the calamities.
Kyrie: Why should we like you?
Acara: Yeah, you jinx!
Caylis: Because.. -Flips around, hair swooshing- -model pose- I'M HAWT!
Meecra: She looks different than us...
Acara: And yeah, why are we all naked?
Kyrie: And hairless!
Acara: WITCH!
Caylis: No, you're thinking of a similar and rhyming word, doll.
Acara: -Pulls out pitchfork-
Eventually the King had to send Caylis into exile to protect his people.
Kelpbeard: TO THE MEN'S CLUB, BIZZ-NATCH!
Caylis: Aw shiht.
Isca: ARE YOU WEARING TAELIA'S COAT!
Kelpbeard: Shut the hell up or I will be wearing your hair.
Taelia: -Floats by-
Isca: CENSORE THAT! CENSORE THAT!
-Comic editors have edited the footage-
Isca: Phew. DAMN that was ugly.
Nothing has been seen of her since, but sometimes when the sea is quiet you can hear her mournful sobbing from far away.
Caylis: I WANT MY PAYCHECK ALREADY! Damn this job. Doesn't pay for shiht.
In secret, the Maraquans began building a new city where they could be safe from outsiders...
This new city was conviently stocked with disco balls that magically hung from the surface and ski lifts!
Kelpbeard: THIS IS THE FRIGGIN FO' SHIZZLE!
But Isca's vivid dreams still came to her, and often they included the face of the young usul.
... and so our story begins
Isca: Damnit, what smells?
Garin Ghost: Uggh, what is that smell?
Kelpbeard: Damn, we need some fresheners! My smell hasn't gone away yet! Whooties, that was a good one! Heh heh..
-The Little Mermaid swims by, singing and naked-
Ariel: Under the sea,
Isca: CENSORE THAT! CENSORE THAT!
-This has also been edited-