1

People talk about love sick, how you miss someone so awfully much and he is all you can think about. They blabber on about it is such a madness, with combinations of pleasure and pain. They don't really understand. But I do.

I lay on my bed with his hand tightly enfolding with mine. His heartbeat was pumping faster and faster, like the footsteps of an elephant, it was boiling every single blood vessel in my ears.

We stayed like that for hours, neither of us said anything. I had too much running in my mind, the moments that we shared when we first met, when we first madly fell in love.

I can't remember what the days were, but I remembered ever y single moment we've spent together. Remembering the days is just reminding me how awfully quick time passes by.

The first time we lied like this was the summer after grade 9. It was my heart that was beating like a crazy elephant then. It was him who talked; it was him who was brave enough to talk. The one who said the exact same words I've been dying to hear.

"Annie, I really bloody love you. Ever since you tripped over those stupid steps at T block in seventh grade."

Then he kissed me. And we haven't been apart since.

He used to be the funniest person around, I guess now we are having trouble to break the silence.

This time it was my turn to say something.

"Are you scared?"

I wanted to cry.

"Not really."

He was lying.

I know Josh, he usually loiters for awhile on serious questions. But this time he sounded too desperate to be convincing.

"What are we going to do?"

He smiled at me fondly and stroked my hand with his thumb as waves of electric heat pushed into my bones.

"Annie, everything is going to be okay."

for the first time in my life, I didnt't believe him. Josh never lied to me, even though sometimes telling the truth might hurt my feelings, he never failed to tell me how he truly felt. And thatwas the beauty of our relationship, we trusted each other. Knowing that he was so honest should be comforting, but this time it wasn't.

"You are a liar! " I screamed at him and let go of his hand. I wanted to yell at him more, but I couldn't find words that were good enough. His face changed to the color of red, like every vessel of his body was about to explode, i didn't know whether it was anger or sadness, but it wasn't something good. Whenever I got mad at Josh, he would lean over and kiss me, his warm breath on my face. But this time he just put his head down and walked out my bedroom door.