A/N: For a challenge Demi-kun issued on the S H I N E forum. (Which you should join. Link in my profile ;)
8888888888888888
"She loves me more!"
"No, us!"
Ah, a typical day in the host club.
"Daughters automatically love their fathers more! It's a rule!" Tamaki wailed.
Kyoya rubbed his temple irritably.
"No, sisters and brothers are closer than fathers and daughters can ever even dream to be!" Kaoru retorted.
Mori drew in a breath and released it in the form of a sigh.
"But fathers are helpers in the miracle of bringing the daughter into the world!" a shrill voice replied.
Hani cocked his head as Mori, preparing for the worst, clamped his hands over the short boy's ears.
"Milord, that's just gross!" Hikaru stated, as Kaoru pretended to gag. "Does that mean you slept with Kyoya?"
Somewhere in the distance, Renge's yaoi sense tingled.
"Wha-- no! How dare you suggest such a thing! You unscrupulous twins! The only person I would ever sleep with is Haruhi," he spat, before realizing what he had just said and slapping a hand over his mouth.
A random passerby fainted.
The twins grinned mischievously. "Ah, I see now... he must be into the whole kinky 'who's your daddy?' thing..." Hikaru drawled.
"I knew he was a pervert..." Kaoru added.
"I didn't mean to say that! What I mean was-- ACK!" Tamaki shrieked as the ground below him shifted.
A high pitched "Ohohohohohohohohohoho!" rang across the room.
"Incoming otaku," the twins deadpanned.
"What's this I hear? A love triangle?! Between Tamaki, Haruhi, and Kyoya? Oh, woe is Tamaki! What is he to do? He loves Kyoya, but he feels sexual urges towards Haruhi! And obviously, Kyo—"
"HEY! They aren't sexual urges! She's my daughter!" Tamaki yelled in indignation.
"Ohoho? Then why would you want to sleep with... wait, her?" Renge blinked. This was new information. "...HARUHI'S A GIRL?!"
"Uh..." Tamaki hesitated. What was he to say? 'Yes, your dream boy is, in fact, a girl'? Luckily, he was saved by the twins, who, deciding to resort to drastic measures, were now making out.
Both looked utterly disgusted, but it worked-- a thump resounded throughout the room and a limp Renge was lying on the floor.
The twins had already run away to find mouthwash.
"What happened in here?" Haruhi asked nonchalantly as she entered the Third Music Room, sidestepping Renge.
"Haruhi, who do you love more, your darling father or your evil brothers?" Tamaki asked, smiling innocently.
"The twins," she replied without hesitation.
"I kne-- WHAT?" he screamed.
"At least they didn't refer to themselves as my father when I was dating them."
And with that, Haruhi rolled her eyes and walked to the other end of the room, towards the table at which Hani was devouring cakes and Mori still had his hands covering the blond's ears. Haruhi wondered what the hell she had missed.
888888888888888888888
When the twins arrived at school the next day, they almost fainted-- a huge poster of them making out had been hung at the entrance of the school.