My nam is emmilee moonshyne sparkel snuffleupagus jonson and am 18 yeers old. i hav lange cornsulk blund hare dat falls to mui waste and 1 eye dat is bloo and 1 eye dat is greene. i am avrige heit and hav a slunder body wif big bobs and cirvy hups. i used to live in wusconsin bot i wuz moovin to callyfornica in lus angels wif mi mom and dad. we weer guna liv in a big hous.
"heer we r" say mrs mom. t wuz a house wif door and roof. i gut my bags form da car.
"pick ur rum emulee" say mr. dad. weh all wint in da hous. it wuz rlly big.
"hullo" say sum1. "welcum"
weh all luk arund. i saw a rlly hot blund boi woo luked mui age wif bloo eyes. weh wuz so hot i gut an erucation in my nippels.
"my nam is toot" he say. "allow mee to show u arund"
toot gave us a tore bot i wuz alreddy so in loaf wif him. den he aksed meh wat mai nam wuz.
"i um emuley" say me.
"iz bootyful nam" say toot. he tuk us oopstares weer i plucked mai rum. i opned da clooset to pot my cloves in bot dere wuz a ded buddy! it wuz a teen gurl wif lung strait brown hare. she luked lik seh wuz verry prity wen seh wuz life.
"toot!" i yorkled. he cam into da rum.
"dafuk is dis" i sayed.
"dat is my old gf voylit" say toot.
"am surry seh dyed" i say.
"seh wuz betch" say toot. den sumthin crawled ot of vyelit mouf! it hus legz.
"itz al allen!11" yorkled toot. da alyen crawleded into my nuse.
"safe meh toot!1" i yappled. den i sawed a flush of light and everythang wuz blak.
i wooked up in a hosital bed. my hunds and feets were chayned.
"HULPPP!1111!" i screaked. a rlly tall old guy wif bald hare and a doktirs coat wulkd into da rum.
"sire u moost help me" i bug. "i dunt now werr i am"
"u r not goin anewere" say dr. "u r to b da next tist subjekt in muy expurrymints"
"wat" i say.
"da alyens hav chose u as da focus of dere hoomin encunters" say dr. "i hav to see if i cun summin dem"
"am i guna dye" say me.
"idk" say dr. "my nam is dr urden" he pot a werd hullmit on mai hed.
"u r guna fell a leetl tungle" he say. den da dur borst opin. it wuz...suster jood!1
"dr urden dafuk r u doin" seh say. she wuz old. seh wint to tak mai hullmit off bot dn mai hosital gowen flew of! i wuz werring a red corsit under.
"U R HORR!11" scorned dr urden and suster jood. dey nuke me out and curry me into celar.
"u moost hav HYDRASHOK" dey slurped. dey poosh me in showre and poor HUT WATRE all ovre me.
"it boorns!1!" i shrook as mui bobs storted to burn. dey poll meh ot of showre and hook wyres to meh. i crakle lik thundre wif electriksity.
"OMGGGGGGGG!" i scroach. shakespear wuz in da corner reedin da buble. "turn it up a leetl" he say.
"k" say suster jood. i storted to sissle moor.
"seh is guna blow" say dr urden.
"seese powre" say shakespeer. dey turnd off da powre and druged meh to a sell. da dur lucked. dere wuz a creapy guy masticating his peeniss next to meh.
"wats cookin good lukin" he say. i storted to ran bot he pot his poonus in mai urethra.
"ouchy" i say.
"WAT R U DOIN PERV" say a voic. i shited in happyness becuz it sunded lik toot. da rabist ran awai.
"toot?" i whumper.
"nam is nut toot" say guy. "mai nam is...KIT"