My life was too confusing
I didn't know what to believe anymore
I didn't know what to feel
I didn't know who to believe
I had no idea of what anything was anymore
What anything meant
I was too confused and lost
To do anything
My emotions were a mix
My thoughts were worthless
Love was completely foreign to me
I was utterly alone
In this cold, cold world…..
I sat alone at night
Thinking about what I was worth
Nothing, that's what
I would lie on my back
And scratch words with my nails
Into my arm
Forgotten
Lost
Worthless
Alone
Freak
Kill me
All of which I was and I wanted to happen
And let the blood flow down my arms
Onto the street
That was my sanctuary
The middle of the street
It was my safe place in life
Since no cars drove down it
The pavement was my only friend left
One day my sanctuary wasn't quite so safe
And I saw a light…
Then heard brakes…
Then the devil whispering my name
I was finally accepted in my own perfect world
And what a screwed up world it was