Summary : Rolo has been fighting a strong obsession over his older brother. Finally at his breaking point, he makes the decision to tell Lelouch how he feels… will things work the way he wants, or will things shoot for the worse?
Disclaimer: In no way form or fashion do I own the Characters from Code Geass, the lyrics in this story belong to Evanescence. The only thing I own is the plot line… you never know, I might not even own that…
Author's Note: This is my first oneshot and songfic. I decided to put them together and kill two birds with one stone. I'm not too fond of oneshots, but I decided to give it a try. So.. Enjoy.
**Evanescence ~ Breathe no More**
'…' ::Thoughts::
/…./ ::Dreaming::
"….." ::Talking::
**…..** ::Lyrics::
Rolo laid in bed, hoping that he wouldn't have the same dream that he had been having for a while now. He felt his face burn hot at the thought of it. 'I cant keep thinking about Lelouch in this manner, he's my big brother. It isn't possible that we could do anything like that.' Rolo thought as he fell sound asleep.
/ Rolo opened the door and quietly slid into Lelouch's room. Walking across the room, Rolo felt like he was floating. He then reached down and gently woke Lelouch, asking if he could sleep in the bed with him. Lelouch would laugh lightly and move over a little, inviting Rolo into the bed with him.
After getting into the bed, Rolo would lie close to Lelouch, almost under him, shivering slightly.
"Rolo, are you still cold?" Rolo nodded his head, afraid that his voice would give him away.
"I have a way for both of us to get warm. Do you want to try?" Again Rolo agreed, watching all of Lelouch's movements.
Lelouch then began to unbutton Rolo's shirt, softly touching the exposed flesh as he went. Rolo did his best to fight back a moan.
"Do you feel warmer yet, Rolo?" Lelouch breathed lightly.
"I- I need you to touch me, more of me. Please touch more of me…" Rolo begged slightly.
"If that's what you want, then I'll give it to you." Lelouch breathed as he pulled at Rolo's tight pajama pants. Lelouch then lightly gripped his hard prize, pumping at a slow pace.
"Oh Lelouch, I cant take It too much longer…"
"Don't rush it Rolo, you'll come soon enough. If you rush it, you wont be able to feel the complete euphoric pleasure that comes with it."
Rolo trembled as Lelouch began to pump harder and faster. "Oh Lelouch close, so close.."
"Then don't fight it, let it come from you." Lelouch spoke softly as he began to milk Rolo. Rolo closed his eyes as he came all over Lelouch's hand and his own lower stomach.
"Oh brother, I made a big sticky mess. I'm so very sorry." Rolo murmured softly.
"You don't have to worry about all that. All that matters now is you and I, together." Lelouch moved to kiss Rolo./
**I've been looking in the mirror for so longThat I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.**
Rolo opened his eyes, knowing that he had the same dream again. He then sat up, looking under the covers hoping that it wasn't there. It was there, and he wished that it wasn't. 'I made a mess again and I had the same dream. I wonder what I can do to fix this?' Rolo got out of the bed and balled the sheets together in anger, and threw them to the floor. He stood in the bathroom, calmly peeling off the cold, sticky clothing.
He got in the shower, and let the hot water pour over his body. 'I might have to tell Lelouch about my dreams…. No, I can't do that! I don't know what I would do if he were to reject me, but then again it might not be all that bad.' Rolo thought of all that he could do while he got dressed for school.
Rolo was quietly walking up the hall when he bumped in to Lelouch. "Oh Lelouch, I'm sorry for bumping in to you like that."
"There's no need for all that. Why are you dressed for school? Did you not get my text this morning?"
"No, I didn't, let my check it right quick ." Rolo opened his phone and quickly read the message. "Lelouch, this is so sudden… where are we going to go?"
"I was going to leave that up to you."
"To tell you the truth, I want to go anywhere. I really want to talk to you. It's really important, and I think you can help me solve this problem that I have."
**Oh, the little pieces falling, shatterShards of me too sharp to put back together**
"Sure! Let's go to your room so that you can get dressed." Rolo felt his heart skip a beat at the thought of him and Lelouch in the bedroom, alone.
"No! I can't do that!" Rolo shouted as he pushed Lelouch away and ran to his room. Lelouch stood there, dumbfounded as Rolo slammed the door. Lelouch then quietly walked to Rolo's door and knocked softly.
"Rolo, is there a problem? If there is, I want you and me to talk about it. Will you let me in so that we can talk?" Rolo quietly unlocked the door and only opened it slightly.
"I don't think that's a good idea…"
"I'm here to help you in any way I can." Rolo opened the door.
"I'll talk, but you have to promise not to hate me after I tell you everything."
"I promise, no matter what it is, I wont hate you." Lelouch breathed as he came in to the room and closed the door behind him. "Do you want to get dressed and talk or do the opposite?"
"Well I was going to talk to you while I got dressed." Rolo murmured softly Rolo felt almost too aware of Lelouch's presence as he unbuttoned his shirt. Lelouch sat on the end of Rolo's bed waiting for him to start talking.
"Lately, I've been having problems sleeping at night…"
"Problems like what, Rolo?" Lelouch asked softly.
"It's this dream that I have, the same one for several nights now."
"Can you tell me what the dream is about and maybe I can help you solve the problem." Rolo looked away refusing to look at Lelouch, knowing that he would see the answer and hate him.
"Rolo you have to tell me, or I can't help you!" Lelouch gripped Rolo's face and made him look in to his eyes.
**Too small to matter but big enough to cut meInto so many little pieces if I try to touch her**
"The dreams are about you, brother. You and I doing intimate things to each other." Rolo breathed as he went into detail.
"Are these just dreams, or your true thoughts?" Lelouch moved back a little, unsure.
"My dreams are how I truly feel. I want to be with you, Lelouch." There was a long and eerie silence between them before Lelouch spoke.
"Rolo, we are brothers. We cannot do such a sick act as to be intimate with each other." Lelouch tried to speak softly, as to not hurt Rolo's feelings.
"Lelouch, how can you say such a thing? You never gave me a chance. I can't believe that you would hurt me like this, without thinking it all the way through. I'm not coming with you today. I would like it if you left my room, now." Rolo turned his back to Lelouch and started cry. Knowing that there was no use in fighting him, Lelouch moved over to the door.
Grabbing the door handle, he looked back at Rolo, rethinking his actions.
**And I bleed
I bleed**
"I'm sorry Rolo, I don't think it would have worked even if I had lied to you." Lelouch murmured as he closed the door behind him.
Rolo then laid in his bed and cried his eyes out at his lost at love from his brother, Lelouch. He then got out of bed and sat at his desk. Rolo was sadly scribbling on the pale sheet of paper, carefully writing each word. When he finished, he slowly folded the paper and placed it in the envelope . Making sure the note could be easily be found, Rolo sat on the edge of his bed. Opening the top drawer, he pulled out a large bottle of sleeping pills.
**And I breathe**
Popping the top off, Rolo began to swallow large amounts of its contents. Rolo body began to shake with uncontrollable sobs as he continued to swallow the dry pills. Rolo's stomach clenched in pain, but he didn't stop, he couldn't . 'I can't believe that Lelouch said that to me. I can't live without the hope of us being together.' after the whole bottle was empty, Rolo sat the bottle down and laid back. Rolo let the sleeping pills take over, no longer fighting the overwhelming urge to fall asleep. Rolo closed his eyes, hoping that he would have the same dream, in order to make him feel better.
**I breathe no more…**
~In Lelouch's Room~
Lelouch was sitting on the edge of his bed, thinking about what Rolo had told him. 'Now that I think about it. I was really not being considerate of his feelings and dreams. After everything he has done for me, and I throw it back in his face. I really should talk to him and set things straight . But the question is what am I going to say to him? I feel I should honor him at my best, then ease him back on down. That sounds about right.' Lelouch stood up to leave his room. "I think that a hour is long enough for him to clear his own head." Lelouch murmured as he walked up the hall.
**Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits wellYet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child**
As soon as he grabbed the door handle, Lelouch felt that something wasn't right, like it was out if place. Panic spread throughout his body as he quickly pushed the door open. The first thing that Lelouch saw was Rolo sleeping and thought nothing about it. Turning to leave the room, Lelouch saw a envelope on the desk with his name on it. Lelouch carefully opened the letter and began to read.
[ Dear Lelouch,
I wanted you to know that I loved you for little more than a year. I only chose now to let you know about it. My dreams began to haunt me from keeping this a secret for so long. In the end this was an unrequited love. I really wish that we could've been together. You did the one thing that I thought you wouldn't do, was reject me.
But this was something that I couldn't just turn away from. I love you so much that I can't live without you… so I won't.
Goodbye Lelouch, now and forever, my love.
Rolo]
**Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever**
Lelouch then quickly dropped the letter and ran over to Rolo. He looked at the empty bottle of sleeping pills and then over to Rolo's calm face.
"Please, please Rolo still be alive." Lelouch murmured as he checked him. Rolo was barely breathing. Lelouch then quickly but carefully scooped Rolo up and began to run to the infirmary. Lelouch kicked the door in, scaring the nurse half to death.
"Lelouch, don't kick the door in like that. What happened to Rolo?"
**And all of this will make sense when I get better**
"He swallowed a lot of sleeping pills and now he's barely breathing. I need you to do your job and make him better." Lelouch murmured as he used his geass on the nurse. Lelouch laid Rolo on the small bed as he watched the nurse work franticly to get Rolo to wake up and vomit the pills back up.
Then the unthinkable happened, Rolo became unresponsive, his breathing all together ceased. Lelouch then pushed the nurse out of the way and held Rolo's head close to his chest.
"Rolo, please wake up, I don't want you to die. I love you. I love you more than I let you know." Lelouch let the steady flow of tears run over Rolo's stiff body. Lelouch sat there until he could no longer squeeze out the tears. Lelouch pulled his phone and called Suzaku.
**I know the difference between myself and my reflection
I just can't help but to wonder which of us do you love**
"Hey Lelouch, where are you? You didn't come to class today, neither did Rolo." Lelouch didn't speak, he only let out a choked cry. "Lelouch what's wrong? Did something happen? Lelouch speak to me!"
"Suzaku, Rolo is dead." Lelouch deadpanned.
"What? How?"
"He overdosed on some sleeping pills. He killed himself and it was my fault."
"Wait, how was it your fault?" Suzaku breathed lightly.
"Rolo told me that he had feelings for me and that he dreamed about it and everything. I rejected him and left him alone. He took all those pills and died. The only way I can reconcile for his death is to kill myself."
**So I bleed
I bleed**
"Lelouch, wait don't do it. At least tell me where you are."
"No, I cannot do that. I've made up my mind and will do it shortly. Goodbye Suzaku." Lelouch hung up the phone and snapped it in half, throwing it away. Scooping up the limp body into his arms, Lelouch walked back to Rolo's room. Once he got there, he laid his beloved brother in the bed.
**And I breathe
I breathe, nowBleed
I bleed and I breathe**
"We will soon see each other again very soon. Once we do, I'll tell you the truth and never hurt you again." Lelouch kissed Rolo lightly on the lips as he pulled out a small dagger and cut deep into his wrists. Lelouch reached out and held onto Rolo's cold hand as he bled to death.
"Rolo, I love you. Till death do us part." Lelouch murmured as he fell into a never ending slumber.
**I breathe…
I breathe…
I breathe no more…**