Christian sat bolt upright in bed and tried to quiet his breathing. He was sure the pounding of his heart must be shaking the bed, it was echoing so loudly in his ears, and he glanced in concern at the sleeping body beside him.
Syed snuffled, and a small smile curved his mouth briefly. In the half light of the dawn, Christian studied his face with love, the sweep of dark lashes across his cheeks, his hair, tousled from their earlier passion, tangled across the pillow.
Pulse gradually returning to normal, Christian wiped the sweat from his brow and bent his head to gently kiss Syed's shoulder. He pushed back the duvet and silently rose, scowling at the thumping dull ache behind his eyes. At the window, he lifted a slat and peered through the blinds, watching the sun rise above the grey roofs, the first stirrings of the day beginning, anticipating the inevitable trundling rattle of the market stalls as they were rolled out to take their places for the oncoming trade.
The hairs on his arms rose in a sudden shiver, and he rubbed them hard, trying to force warmth back into his skin, glancing behind him to Syed's silent form. He contemplated waking him, knowing that he was the only one who could give him the heat he craved.
'Selfish..' He scolded himself at the thought, pulling on his dressing gown and dragging the cord tight around his waist. Quietly pulling out a chair, he sat with his chin in his hands and waited patiently for the day to break.
Syed yawned and wrinkled his nose, flailing about in the bed as he stretched all of his muscles.
"Morning!" He mumbled cheerily, reaching to hug Christian. He opened his eyes, bemused.
"Why you over there?" He asked, puzzled at the sight of Christian slumped over the dining table. Turning his head and resting it on his arms, Christian grinned.
"Hey. Couldn't sleep, bad dreams…"
Syed dragged the duvet up to his chin and turned his mouth down in a show of sympathy.
"Bummer. Was it Mo Harris doing the naked belly dance again?"
The laugh Christian uttered was small and hollow, and made Syed blink in concern.
"That's the sort of thing. I'll go for a shower now, didn't want to risk waking you.." He stood up suddenly and headed towards the bathroom.
"I wouldn't have minded.. You're always worth being woken up by…" Syed's voice trailed away as he heard the gush of water jet out. He waited hopefully for the onset of singing, but none came, and he bit his lip, wondering how awful a dream it could have been to make Christian so dour.
He reappeared, rubbing his hair with a towel and Syed lay, still and puzzled, as he quickly dressed and picked up his keys.
"You going to be alright? You need anything?"
Syed shook his head.
"Nope, thanks. Aren't you having breakfast?"
"Said I'd meet Roxy at the café, she's having a shit time, poor cow.."
"Yes, she must be. Shall I see you for lunch?"
Shrugging his shoulders noncommittally, Christian put his hand on the door and opened it.
"Maybe. Are you going out at all?"
"I might go over to the salon. I promise I won't leer at any builders though.."
Syed noticed that Christian's expression remained unchanged, stayed guarded, eyes focused on the middle distance.
"Oh, okay. Be careful going down the stairs, won't you.."
"I've mastered the art now, I'm a one legged genius, lean against the wall, slide along, propping myself up with the crutches…" Seeing Christian step onto the landing, Syed called plaintively;
"Don't I get a kiss?"
"Course.."
Christian's lips were tight and cold on his, the embrace perfunctory, before he raced away down the stairs, leaving Syed to stare at the ceiling in confusion.
'I never have to ask..' He mused, '..he won't ever leave me without one. What the fuck's up with him?'
He struggled out of bed and hobbled over to the kitchen, his cast heavy and cumbersome, and he cursed it's presence, wishing he could sprint after Christian and find out what on earth could be bothering him.
"You're doing your best, babe. Anyone can see that.." Christian leant across to wipe a mascara black tear track from Roxy's cheek.
"I feel so useless.." She stirred her coffee morosely, bright blonde head drooping like a sad sunflower. In the background, behind the counter, he could see his sister, her forehead furrowed with frown lines, savagely buttering a slice of bread as if it was responsible for all the grief and frustration in her life.
"But you're not.." He gripped her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "..Do you want me to come with you?"
She picked up her handbag from beside her and stood up, managing a watery smile.
"Nah, got to do this by myself. Anyway, you'll want to be with Syed."
He grunted and slid his cup away.
"Mm. Need to have a word with Jane. Call me.." He wrapped her in a hug and sent her on her way, taking their discarded crockery over to Jane.
"Cheers, Christian. You're out early. Where's Syeed?"
"Couldn't sleep. He's at home, well he was. I expect he's gone somewhere by now. How are you? Is Bobby any better?"
A tear appeared in the corner of her eye and she brushed it angrily away.
"He would be if Ian would give it a rest.." She took the cups from him.
"If there's anything I can do, have a word, take Bobby out for the day.." He patted her hand, wrapping it in his own strong fingers and lifting it to his mouth.
"Aw, thanks. What would I do without my baby brother? He's at his friends at the moment. Ian thought it was for the best…I shouldn't even be here, don't know why I'm helping him, I've left Jean on her own in the pub..."
They exchanged glances as the smell of burning toast hit them both at the same time.
"Oh no!" Jane pressed the lever on the toaster, ejecting two pieces of charcoal with such force that they flew onto the floor. Seeing her begin to crumple, Christian gently moved her out of the way and grabbed the tea towel she was flapping frantically at the smoke.
"Leave it Jane, go and have a rest for a bit, I can take over here, I haven't got any work 'til next week, we were going to spend.. Anyway, shove off. I'll deal with it."
He bustled her to the other side of the counter and pointed forcefully to the way out.
"GO!"