Perfect

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer. I disclaim everything. Er, that is, tain't mine. Rating K. This story takes place somewhere about the middle of season six.

Kate Beckett was drenched by the time she got home. She struggled with her wet coat as Castle hurried out of his office to help her.

"What happened?"

Kate shrugged. "I have three umbrellas. One is at my place and the other two are here."

"Coffee? Or better yet, how about dinner. I ate, but there's still some…"

Kate shook her head. "I grabbed a sandwich from the machine at the precinct."

"The sandwich machine? I'll get you a hazmat suit." Kate rolled her eyes, but Castle continued. "No, really. Those sandwiches are classified as weapons of mass destruction by the UN. I think they were banned by the Geneva Convention."

"Too late now, writer boy. That sandwich is sitting in my stomach like a lump of lead. All I need now is to sit down. I've been on my feet all day long." Kate walked over to the couch and sat down with Rick right behind her.

"Scoot over." Rick said. "I've got something for you."

"You want me to move away from you? The sandwich can't be that bad."

Rick gently pushed her towards the other end of the couch. "You move down there, swing your feet up onto my lap and you'll get the best foot massage in all of New York City."

Kate smiled, scooted down and swung her feet onto Rick's lap. Rick removed her shoes and then her knee highs. As soon as he began the massage, Kate moaned sensually. "I knew there was some reason I kept you around, Castle."

"One of many reasons. How did the case go, by the way?"

Kate stretched. "I closed it. Got a confession."

"Was it Kendricks?"

"No. As soon as we picked him up at his apartment and I started to outline our case against him, his girlfriend fell apart. She confessed, took us to her place, showed us the murder weapon and the jewelry."

Rick gently rubbed the Kate's instep. "So the motive was jealousy, not money?"

"Kendricks was stunned. He fell apart as well."

"Having someone kill for you…" Rick began.

"I'd kill for you, in a heartbeat." Kate smiled when she said that, but Rick knew she was serious, dead serious. "So, how did your day go?"

Castle shuddered dramatically. "If I'm ever given the choice between being staked out over a nest of fire ants and covered with honey, and spending four days with lawyers, please pass the honey. They spent two hours arguing about whether to use a semi-colon or a comma in one paragraph."

"Do you have to go back tomorrow?"

"No, thank God. I signed the last contract and African Heat is now a done deal. There is some bad news, though."

"What?" Kate asked, propping herself up so she could see Rick's face.

"No one, absolutely no one, liked my idea of a three way between Nikki, Rook and a lion."

Kate did her best to assume a look of horror. "The Philistines! You should change publishers. That chapter provided a wonderful insight into Rook."

"Kate, the lion was male if you remember."

Kate shrugged. "Rook needs to get in touch with his feminine side."

Rick changed the subject. "One thing, like all lawyers they insisted on taking a three hour lunch break. I'm sure they'll all bill me for ten hours of legal services."

"Did you have lunch with them?"

"No way. I dropped by the precinct, hoping you'd be there, but no luck. The place was deserted. Even

Gates was gone. "

"I'm sorry. We all left to check on Hendrick's alibi as soon as I got in. You should have called and saved yourself a trip."

"I like to surprise you and it wasn't a wasted trip. Lanie was in, so we sent out for pizza." Rick chuckled.

"I think she's as excited about us as we are. She couldn't stop talking about us. Apparently you two have been having some girl talk about us. She said you think our sex is the best you ever had."

Kate blushed. "Castle, I didn't mean to embarrass you, or…anything."

Rick laughed. "I told her that if she's really nice to us, I'd show her some of the videos we took. The one from last Thursday is one of my favorites."

Kate choked. "Castle, I will hunt down and destroy every electronic device you have, and then…"

"Don't worry. No one will ever see those but us. But Lanie was a gold mine of information. She said you are deliriously happy, that you can't wait for the wedding, that you love having a new family and that you love that Martha and Alexis want you in the family. And just as an aside, she said that if you ever lost me, you couldn't go on living. Care to comment on that one?"

It took Kate a second to grasp what Castle had just said. "It's just a figure of speech, Rick."

Castle shook his head. "From anyone else it's a figure of speech. From Kate Beckett, it's a sacred vow."

Kate sat up and scooted over onto Castle's lap, then put her arms around his neck and leaned against his chest. They sat there for a while as Kate organized her thoughts.

"When I was nineteen, my life was perfect. I had the greatest parents in the world, I was a pre-law student at Stanford and everything was just going to get better and better. I'd have a brilliant legal career, and be the first female chief justice of the Supreme Court. I'd meet and marry a perfect husband who'd complement me perfectly. He'd be a brilliant lawyer, or maybe a scientist, or something brilliant. We'd have perfect children and grandchildren. Everything was perfect."

"Until it wasn't." Castle said gently.

Kate nodded and a tear fell from her eye.

"You don't have to continue, honey. You don't need to relive this."

Kate shook her head. "I need to tell you this." She was quiet for a while, then continued. "My life stopped being perfect when my mother was murdered. I dropped out of Stanford and joined the NYPD. For three years, I worked my mother's case. I read and re-read the file until I could hardly see. I talked to everyone who'd ever been remotely connected to the investigation. And after three years I had nothing but the knowledge that if I kept up, I'd disappear down a rabbit hole and never come back. I put her case aside and went on being a cop, a homicide cop. In place of my perfect life I had a wall around myself, a hole where my heart had been, and a huge, endless ache. I found that when a caught a murderer, a little of the ache would go away, just for a little while. I decided that that was going to be my life. That was all it would ever be."

"But it wasn't, was it, Kate?"

"No. One day I recognized a pattern in a murder. I had read about that murder in my favorite author's books. To my surprise, he wanted to help with the case."

"You don't have to tell me. I know you were thrilled and fell for me at once."

She shook her head sharply. "Not even close. I don't think I have ever been so disappointed as when I met my favorite author. I had expected someone witty, urbane, knowledgeable, and unbelievably cool. What I got was part spoiled ten year old, part skirt chasing playboy and part outright eccentric."

"Are you sure this was your favorite author? This wasn't some other case?" Castle said, trying to sound hurt.

"Oh, it got worse."

"Worse?"

"He had the audacity to tell me I had arrested the wrong person. And he was right. He even chased down and captured the real killer."

"With the able assistance of Detective Kate Beckett. I could never have done it without you."

"And do you know what he did next?" Without waiting for a reply, Kate continued. "He started stalking me. He used his wealth and connections to make himself a part of my team."

"Stalking you? That's awfully rough in him. I'm sure he had only the purest of motives." Rock said defensively.

"I wondered about his motives. Then he showed his true colors. He did the one thing I had told him never to do. He started investigating my mother's murder. I was angry and hurt when he told me. Being hurt was the worst. I had thought that maybe he liked me, just a little bit, and then he did the one thing he knew would hurt me the most. I thought he cared, but I decided I was wrong."

Rick could see tears falling on Kate's blouse. Even now he knew Kate hated to appear weak, even in front of him. He held her and stroked her hair. "Maybe he cared so much that he was willing to do anything to make your pain go away. Did you think of that?"

Kate shook her head. "No, not then. But he was right. I…We found the man who murdered my mom. I killed him. I shot him dead. And do you know what I felt?"

"No."

"For just one brief moment the ache was gone, replaced by a fierce joy. The bastard was dead! I had killed him. Oh, I found out he was just a paid killer, there was someone else behind mom's death, but my favorite author had done something for me that I couldn't have done. I was very grateful and just a bit happy."

"You favorite author was happy, too."

Kate nodded. "And things got better. I now had a partner who made me a better cop. We were better together than we were alone."

"More than the sum of our parts." Rick added.

"My favorite author brought me coffee every day, he made me laugh, he did all sorts of little things for me, and he was still able to drive me crazy. But when he was with me, the ache would go away, just for a bit."

"It wouldn't last, of course. I knew that. I mean he was this world famous author. Who was I?"

"Amazing. Remarkable. Gorgeous. Sexy. Brilliant." Rick began.

Kate gently slapped his chest. "I was happy, happier than I'd been in years. Then my favorite author did something else, and at the worst possible time."

"Worst possible time?" Rick said. "Uh, oh."

"Yes. He told me he loved me while I was lying on the ground, near death."

"This favorite author should have told you a lot sooner. His fault entirely. You really liked this guy? I don't know, he sounds flaky to me."

Kate nodded vigorously. "I should have known he loved me way before that, but I just couldn't believe it. I should have. I couldn't face it even then, and I should have. It took me the longest time to tell him I loved him, too. Way too long."

"He knew. He always knew."

"I'm glad he knew. But I was so happy then. He loved me. The empty space where my heart had been was filling up with love. The ache was still there, but it no longer defined my life. I was so happy."

"And then?"

"Then I screwed up. I kept secrets from him. We agreed to meet, but I knew what he was going to say. It was over. My happiness was gone. He was gone."

"Are you entirely sure about that?" Rick smiled.

Kate turned and lightly kissed Rick. "I was wrong. He asked me to marry him. And everything changed. I had my perfect life back. I'd have my perfect husband…"

"Just for the record, Detective Beckett, will you confirm that your perfect soon-to-be- husband is famed writer and freelance detective, the ruggedly handsome, and very cool Richard Castle?"

Kate giggled. "The name does sound familiar."

"Kate?" Rick teased.

"Yes, yes. You'll be my perfect husband. We have a perfect career, and we'll have…" Kate stopped suddenly.

"…perfect children and grandchildren." Castle finished for her.

Kate took a deep breath. "Rick, I know we haven't talked about this. I mean, you've already raised an adult daughter, and…"

"Until you, Alexis was the center of my life. Of course I'd want to do it again with you."

"Thank you." Kate whispered.

"But what about…" Castle couldn't quite bring himself to mention her death.

"My favorite author wanted to help a woman, but he got shot. I rushed in when I heard the shot. For just a second I thought he was dead. Then I saw there was no blood. He was alive. But in that brief second, my wall went back up, my heart was replaced by that hole and the ache returned. I knew I could never go through what I went through with my mother again if he died. I couldn't do it." Kate began crying again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Rick."

"Kate…"

"I'll kill Bracken." Kate said softly. "You can assassinate anyone if you aren't worried about surviving. Quite a fitting solution actually."

"Kate, you can't. Please. I couldn't…"

"You'd be dead." Kate said softly. "It would be my decision. Then I'd be with you."

Castle gently laid Kate onto her back on the couch, then moved alongside of her. He began unbuttoning her blouse. After unbuttoning half her buttons, he pushed the blouse aside and gently kissed Kate's scar.

"Does the macabre turn you on, Castle?" Kate teased.

"No, but it occurred to me that if I died, but you had a child, or more, to look after, you'd be fine."

Kate laughed. "You always do find a story that makes sense. But, I'm still on the pill. We one and done girls do not walk down the aisle with a baby bump."

"I just want to make sure you'll remember how to do it when the time comes."

"You want to make sure of what, writer boy?"