Prologue
Dearest Naoms,
I just couldn't keep the secret to myself any longer. Not "our" secret, but the secret of my true identity that has recently started to consume my entire existence. I finally plucked up the courage to tell my parents I was gay during a Fitch family dinner but I conveniently left you out of it. That was until Katie stuck her fucking nose into the conversation and accused you of "gaying me up." She told my parents all about our kiss in secondary school and on the bouncy castle at Panda's party - I had no idea she even saw us. My excuse for both those kisses being MDMA induced has had its day apparently. I don't know if my parents were more shocked about me being gay or the fact that shy and sweet, reserved little Emily had taken drugs and was so rebellious. It is thanks to these revelations that my mother thinks it would be best for the whole family to make a fresh start away from Bristol where she can 'straighten me out' without anyone influencing me and encouraging me to be so 'rebellious'. She would think I was a fucking saint if she knew half the things dear old Katiekins gets up to.
I know we weren't on the best of terms when you left for Cyprus but please don't think that I stopped loving you. That's right love, I fucking love you and I would tell you every day if I could. We enter relationships as somebody and leave them as nobody but I don't want to be a nobody to you. You will never be a nobody to me, you will always be the one who gave me the power to become my own person and step out of Katie's shadow even if it was only for the briefest of moments. I have to believe that one day we will meet again; hopefully when those walls you've spent years building have been diminished to rubble and my parents and beloved sister can accept me for who I am. Until then we have to say goodbye. You will always be in my heart Naoms.
Love always, Ems xxx