This is a little thing I wrote after reading the poem, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou. The italics are the actual poem.
The free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
Renji. Everything about him is the epitome of wild. His hair, his tattoos, his voice, his eyes. That look he gave me that day, as I beat him to the ground. I attempted to destroy him. His stupid dreams that stand in stark contrast to my life, my ideals.
I should loathe his existence, so why do I feel this? This longing to reach out and touch. To run my hands through his blood colored hair. To taste his skin, as if the tattoos have a different flavor than the rest of his skin.
When was it that I began to feel this way? Oh, I know, it was as he sat with me. Back when Ichimaru's blade should have struck my lifeless heart. When it should have killed me. When I tried to send him away, and he refused to leave, like he owed me his life. But he saved my sister, my life. If anything, I owed him.
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
But he wouldn't understand what pains I go through. Even if I explained my life, he'd look upon me with pity, say he gets it, and then leave. He's free and I am bound. By rules, by family, by love. I love him, and I can never have him. He is poor, and male, and my opposite. He couldn't give me a family but he could love me. He could hold me after the terrible nightmares that plague me. When I cry over my loss on Hisana, and how I almost lost Rukia.
The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom
But is it worth it? What if he leaves me or I lose him? The life of a shinigami is long but, as I know all too well, we are not immune to ailment or sword. He is a vice-captain, even more dangerous. I could keep him locked up. I won't say I haven't considered it. But what life is that? Would I subject him to my life? One of nothing but rules?
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.
Even now, as I sit in my quiet office, I can't stop thinking about him. I want nothing more than to go to him and take him up in my arms, back to my manor. But he is with his friends. Drinking, laughing, being free. Still, what would he do if I went to him? Would he push me away? Would he embrace me? Would it embarrass him or would it relieve him? I… I don't know what to do… But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing
I can't stop thinking about what I've lost. My parents, my sempai, my life, my only hope of a family. But I also took that from him. I took Rukia, the only family he had left from his difficult life. Kami, what have I done? I… I have to see him!
My flash step isn't carrying me fast enough. He must have sensed my distress. I cannot hold back. The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
He is startled but takes me in his arms without question. My eyes must give me away because he closes the distance that has tormented me since I've known him. My mind tells me this is wrong but my heart knows this is right. I feel as though, for the first time, I'm flying.